The One Thing You Need To Know: (To Ensure Reaching All Your New Year’s Resolutions and Goals)

Yup, it’s that time of year again, when we start making lists of what we want to achieve in the upcoming year. Some of us call them resolutions or goals.

Resolution: n…a firm decision to do or not to do
something.

Goal: n…the object of a person’s ambition or
effort; an aim or desired result.

However you slice it, it all boils down to change and a hope for the better.

Here are 10 of the most popular ones:

•            Lose Weight
• ·         Exercise More/Get Healthy
• ·         Stop Smoking
• ·         Stop Drinking
• ·         Spend Less/Save more
• ·         Get Out of Debit
• ·         Find a New Job
• ·         Go Back To School
• ·         Stop Cussing 

And year-after-year, we fail. Or just give up and revert back to our old ways. Why is that? It happens because we haven’t connected to the one thing in our lives that will ensure our “Success”.

The God Head!

That’s right. God the Father! God the Son! And God the Holy Spirit!

We approach the situation all wrong by trying to do it the World’s way. For one if there's change that needs to be made, why wait for a particular month and day? And especially since tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. But this is what the World does and we play along. I often question, "Why as Believers we don't get all excited and celebrate New Year's according to the Jewish calendar, "Rosh Hashana?"

But like Paul, I know the secret to success in this world. And it’s not complicated at all.

We need to do exactly what Jesus instructs in (Matthew 6:25-34), we must first seek God—His way of doing things—and trust Him. We have to go to Him first.

The Messiah also tells us, “Whatever we ask of the Father in His name we shall receive.” (John16:23) But it must be God’s will for us. Folks like to leave that part out when quoting this particular scripture. And being out of debt and healthy is defiantly God’s will for us. Jesus was beat mercilessly so we could receive our healing. And who wants to be the tail, versus the head when they don’t have to be?

But it doesn’t stop there. It’s also the Holy Spirit’s job to guide, teach and correct us. And when given the opportunity, He will stop us from jumping off the deep edge, like signing a gym contract we are never really going use, obligating ourselves to monthly debt.

And when we take to heart and make (Proverbs 3:5-7), a way of life, then we will know exactly what we need to do for successful change in our lives.

You want to lose weight but have been struggling for years to get it off or keep it off? Well, having a close and upfront relationship with God will help you get to the root of your eating problem. Because that’s what needs to be fixed first—the why?

You’re drinking too much is a way of self medicating. It’s your way of trying to cover up pain which needs to be healed.

Why are you in debt? How did you get there? What is your true relationship with money? Are you in debt because shopping or buying things somehow takes the place of God helping you cope with life’s disappointments? Or  does it temporarily fill a void, only He can fill?

What is the motivation for wanting to go back to school? Is it because you feel less than without a college degree? Or there is the promise of better pay with a Masters degree? How do you plan to pay for it? With loans and incurring debt you will spend the majority of your life trying to pay off? That’s not God’s will for us.

Looking for a new job with better pay is not a bad thing. Well, it is, if the job is going to close down or have a massive layoff 9 months after you start and you lose your job and benefits! And the company you left is thriving. We don’t know what tomorrow holds...but God does.

Our #1 priority in life, should be building a deep personal relationship with God. It’s the key to everything we need.

Time in the Word and prayer will reveal our problem areas. And that is a good thing, because God is not like people. We are more than happy to point out each other’s flaws, if only for no other reason than it makes us feel better about ourselves. But He shows us, so we can allow Him the privilege of turning whatever trash or ash it is—into a thing of beauty.

But we have a tendency to make our plans and then expect God to go alone. I am guilty of this myself. Several years ago, I got caught up in a promotion to join a gym because I really wanted to get out of the house, more so than get healthy. It was during the time I was homeschooling, working from home and deep in missions work. I longed to be doing something for me and be around more progressive people. So, I joined and signed a two year contract (by faith), that God would supply the money.

Well, I learned that the only thing in a gym I really like is the treadmill. And that is because I already liked walking—which I did a lot of.

I had a trainer for seven sessions, but was never comfortable. The gym was located in downtown Philadelphia, and only took 20 minutes to get there. I went three times a week. But about 3 months in, it became too much to pay the monthly fee and I barely got to go. Too busy! I called corporate and tried to get the payments cut in half and they wouldn’t do it. Eventually I just defaulted and it went against my credit. And that well known company went out of business—worldwide. Now how much do you want to bet, God knew all about their downfall, my waning lack of interest and inability to pay the contract off?

Yes, He knew all about it, before it ever happened.

If only I had taken my feelings of isolation to Him. And allowed Him to show me the way to deal with them and make change. But, lesson learned—the hard way!  And my goal is to help you girls see the folly in our lives with New Year’s Resolutions and Goals. To understand, why we keep making the same ones over-and-over, with the promise—this year I’m going to do it! But don’t.

Use the time you would be spending at the gym, or doing homework assignments or whatever it is you do that idly takes up your time, and spend it—digging in the Word.

The bible holds the keys to everything we have need of; through God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Find out exactly what privileges where given to you at the Cross, besides salvation. Get to know the God you serve, with a desire to truly see and understand the love story He has for you. And if you are in a church that denies the power of the Holy Spirit, then once you get into the Word for yourself, my prayer is, you will leave that congregation and be led to one which knows and teaches His power.

Yes, we fail time and time again….because of our lack of understanding and acknowledgement of the Holy Spirit.

On December 31, 1989, I fell to my knees and cried out, “Lord, I didn’t want to smoke anymore!” asking the Holy Spirit to help me! (I was a babe in Christ, but in a Word church.) And guess what? He did.And after 19 years of smoking...I was FREE!  (At the time I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.) I can’t tell you how many times I tried to quit on my own. So, I do know what it is to be addicted to cigarettes, but I also know the yoke breaking power of the Holy Spirit!

We can go to God about anything. But many of us don’t have the confidence He hears or is interested. But that is a lie from the pit and also the result of time not spent getting to know Him on our own.

There is only one thing we need for total success (and not the world’s definition of success either), and that is Jesus as Lord! And with Him as Lord—we get into the Bible and do everything it instructs us to do! Beginning with loving God with every ounce of our being and then down the line. With this you will be able to get out of debt and stay out. You will be able to lose that weight and keep it off. You will be in God's will, by waiting on Him to make a move for a new job or higher education. You will have success!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs,

Ponnie

Stop Running Away!

A couple of weeks ago I encountered an incident on Facebook where a Christian Facebook friend, didn’t like something I said and left the comment, “What you said, Ponnie was very mean!”

What offended her was, “Because you are Caucasian, it is impossible for you to understand where I’m coming from and what it is to be a Black person in America.” 

The whole thing was in response to a post I made about being silent at times speaks volumes…referring to our President elect being backed by an openly white supremacy group founder and leader.  

But here is the real kicker….she left the message, deleted me as a friend and blocked me so I couldn’t even find her name on Facebook. Wow!

Here’s the scenario that should have played out.

First, I would have apologized immediately for hurting her in anyway, and then I would have private messaged her to find out why she felt what I said, was mean. As two sisters-in-Christ, we should have been able to quickly fix the problem—but she ran away.

This seems to be a common thread I’m seeing in those of us who profess, Christ as Lord. And it just shouldn’t be.

The Bible instructs us explicitly on how to handle adversity and misunderstandings. We serve the God of reconciliation—not separation.

Since I wasn’t given the opportunity to talk it through, I did the next best thing—I prayed.

Working with women in crisis for many years, I’ve learned that hurting people are often far from rational thinkers. And yes, even Believers. And I’m assuming I hit some type of nerve or wound that has yet healed. So, I’m keeping her in prayer and the door open if she ever contacts me.

This is not my first encounter with this type of emotional behavior, but it did prompt me to really look at why, we as daughters of the King behave so poorly to one another and think it is okay?

I am a kind person, so it is never my intent to purposely offend anyone—especially when I have time to think about it. Am I bragging on myself? No. But we must know our strengths as well as our weaknesses. And truthfully over the years, I have met many missionaries and they have all been kind and generous people. It’s a characteristic God gives us to do the job.

There was a time I would take it on and beat myself up when something like this happened. But as I've grown in the Word (and as long as I didn’t intentionally mean any harm), I've learned to let it go. But if given the opportunity to make things right or apologize…I am right there. Why? Because, blessed is the peacemaker and we are to live in peace as long as it is within our power. That’s how the Bible runs it down.

Think about it, if a Native American felt I wasn’t getting what they were saying about their experience here in the United States and said to me, “Ponnie I don’t expect you to get it because you have never lived on a reservation.” You know what—they would be telling the truth! I really don't have a clue.

I’ve found that we are afraid of truth. For many different reason we think truth is out to get us, when in fact—it’s out to help and set us free.

Lysa TerKeurst talks about this in her new book, “Uninvited…Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely,” great book! Especially if you are afraid of truth.

Here’s another example…one day while talking to a sister who has been known to have what I like to call, “a know-it-all-spirit,” I just couldn’t take it anymore! (Well, I could have if I had allowed God’s grace to prevail.) I jumped in with both feet and ran it down how far off she was from the bible in what she was saying. She didn’t like it, but it was the truth. Was it the truth in love? I would have to say, “No.” She was infamous for giving advice under the guise of being spiritual. But the truth is…anything that doesn’t line up with the Word of God is wrong information or a lie—period.

A week or so later, I received a teaching CD in the mail with a note to listen to it and there was no need to respond or bother to contact her. Oh-kay! I saw the setup and threw it in the trash. And that was the end of that. What she did is a big fat, No-No! But it just supported my case even more.

Sisters, communication is a two-way street. Again, trying to have the last word and then running away. Is not Jesus' way.

Time passed and we were okay. Never to speak on it again.

The lesson I’ve learned over the years, is to not let drama play out on Facebook or anywhere else.

This past summer a family member was to stop by one day to visit. It really wasn’t a big deal when they didn’t show up because nothing special had been planned. The next day I sent a text, “Oh it was so nice spending time with you yesterday. We must do it again!” (Or something to that effect.) Nonetheless, it was all tongue in cheek.

I was expecting some type of snarky retort such as, "Girl! I haven't had so much fun in a long time! LOL!" But instead my phone immediately rang, and she accused me of being passive/aggressive in my text.

What!

Since I am a much wiser woman these days, I quickly got off the phone and told her I needed to call her back. I prayed, laughed about it and gave it half an hour. Why? Because most of the time when stuff like this happens—it has nothing to do with us. It is all about what is going on with the other person. And in love we should see this.

When I called back, she was fine. She apologized for not calling to say she couldn’t make it, and shared the crazy kind of day she ran into.

Being residents of the Kingdom, there is a royal protocol for us to follow when it comes to dealing with strife, confrontation, adversity and being offended.

How can we ever expect to encourage the unsaved and godless that severing Jesus is something special when we act no differently than they do. Or in some cases—worse!

We can’t.

And this is another reason many people leave church congregations—they don’t see or feel the love that should be flowing from us.

Sisters, we cannot just shut people down and run away! Yes, there are times in our lives we must let people go because they are not good for us. But, having the last say and not giving the other person an opportunity to speak is not how Jesus would handle it.

I think Paul really sums it up in a nutshell for us in Ephesians 4:1-3, 31-32, (Amp)… 1So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [this is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation], 2with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. 3Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful].

31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, faultfinding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse.] 32Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.

Maybe some of you have a situation in your life right now where you need to make amends, or at least open the doors of communication. Don’t mess around with it any longer. Forgive. Ask to be forgiven. And move on.

May I suggest you read the entire chapter. Click here (Ephesians 4, Amplified Bible)

Remember...love never fails!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie