When We Need to Make a U-Turn

 Probably all of us who drive have made a U-Turn at one time or another, and maybe not all of them have been legal. ~Smile~ U-Turns are a handy way to go back to that turn or exit you missed, which has now put you in unknown territory or has you feeling lost. Sometimes life is the same way—we need to make a U-Turn to get back to the point where we missed God or took a wrong turn.

Back in October I found myself without an income and on the job search. At 60, that was a little frightening to say the least. But instead of taking time to remember my history with the Lord and how very faithful He has always been, (I have been in tighter places before) I took the first thing that came along. And the sad thing about it all was, deep down I knew this couldn’t be what the Lord had for me, but I allowed fear and the demands of someone else push me to make a poor decision.  

Let me go back and give you a little background on something the Holy Spirit told me a few years ago. Tovah was in the 11^th grade at the time and we knew she was college bound and I began to question God about what that would mean for me? I wanted to know what lie ahead for me and how I could change my life and lack of finances. He told me (without a doubt), “You are going to write your way out of it!” My faith partner had been praying with me and once I had my answer we began talking about it and get excited.

The past 7 months I have been working on two major writing projects. I’m talking about something that with God’s favor will really change my life! And Boom! I got off the wrong exit and found myself lost! Yes!! I took a job that had nothing to do with writing. They were very deceitful about things and each week I was there it went from bad to worst! And to top it all off, I was no longer working on my writing projects and missed an important deadline. Fear had won out for a minute.

That’s the bad news, but the good news is—I made a U-Turn and went back to the point where I had stopped trusting and waiting on the Lord to open up a door. What does that mean for me? I’m back where I started, with no income but this time I’m going to wait on Him. No more giving into the counterfeits of our enemy.

Sisters, it’s okay to admit that you got ahead of God, or made a wrong or poor decision. He knew we were going to do it before we did. Whenever we give into fear we can count on ending up in some sort of mess. Women have married out of fear. I’m afraid to be alone. Soon I’ll be too old to have children. I’m tired of struggling by myself. I will be happier when I have a husband. Fear has motivated people to steal from their friends, family members, employers and their church. Fear is the reason some people are now sitting in jail, but most of all—fear is a huge reason for so much unhappiness in the Body of Christ. When we allow our circumstances to consume us versus the Word of God, fear can become a motivating factor for disaster for sure.

At first it seemed like a blessing from God when I went to the job fair. Initially I was told one thing as far as what my wages would be by the HR person. After going through drug testing and a second interview, as I was signing my paperwork there was a discrepancy of $1.60 per hour. I didn’t agree to the wage and the manger went back to HR and he was told by the HR manager who interviewed me that she did not tell me what I said she did. She advised him she told me I wouldn’t be making that amount. There was the huge red flag. Come on, how many interviews do you go on and you talk about what you are not going to make? Exactly—none! But fear said, “It is so close to the holidays you will never find anything right now.” So, instead of trusting God, I took the job. The next week, I found out it was a union job. Shouldn’t I have been told that before I started working? Yes! But I wasn’t. I could give you a list of other stuff that just continued to go wrong and more deceitfulness, but it would be a waste of good time. The bottom line is, God made it very clear—time to go! No, I had a plan to try to stay to the end of January before I had to pay union dues, but once I made my U-Turn and went back to where I had gone wrong, I had no choice but to do it God’s way.

Please don’t misunderstand me and think that because you have stepped out in faith and things are difficult or hard that you have made a wrong turn, no that is not what I am saying. But if things are really crazy, and you are worst off then when you started, maybe you need to make a U-Turn back to where you were before this all started. Take a hard look at what is going on and how you got there. Did you move ahead of God? Is this a situation you created by your own hands or is this what God has for you?

There are many struggles and difficulties in life that we have no control over, but there are also struggles and hardships that we are the inventors of. Either way we serve a mighty God and His mercy and grace are abundant and ever flowing for us.

Fear is the author of many a sad story, but as a writer the one thing I know for sure—stories can be rewritten. So, my dear sisters, if you are in a not so good place because of fear, make a U-Turn because unlike the driving laws of this world where you might see the sign “No U-Turns” in the Kingdom of God that is never the case! God is right where you left Him. He is our ever present help in our times of need…even when we messed up and created the need!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Smile When Your Heart Is Breaking

Charlie Chaplin wrote “Smile” in 1936….Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

And back in the 80’s Melissa Manchester had a top hit called “Don’t Cry Out Loud!” the chorus goes….Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
Learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all...

There was a time in my life I believed Melissa Manchester when she sang “Don’t Cry Out Loud!” Why? Because I felt my sadness really didn’t matter to anyone and as a woman in my late 20’s and early 30’s I just needed to suck it up and move on. That’s what mature women do. It wasn’t until I started attending Women’s Bible study I began to think—just maybe it was important to God and someone else. And the reason it was a maybe at the beginning, was because it seemed all the women around me were so happy and wonderfully engaged in the Lord. Deep down, I felt I was the only one struggling in my soul. On one hand it was a little disheartening, because again everyone else gets it except me. I later learned the truth about many of my sisters, they weren’t getting it either, they were just faking it.

They knew the lingo, “Greetings sister how are you?” “I’m blessed and highly favored!” Sounds good, but often they didn’t believe the words they were saying, because their marriage was falling apart or the sin in their lives was wreaking havoc. Some had just secretly had a miscarriage or abortion. Others were depressed with life in general and felt God didn’t love them as much as He did others. They viewed their lives in a way it seemed they were always behind and playing catch up, when everyone else got to do and go where they wanted. Bottom line—they were afraid if they said they were not doing well, or they are discouraged and feel no one cares, (not even God) people would judge them. You know, “How can she sit and listen to the Word being preached each Sunday and not have faith?” Those kinds of judgments we are so good at handing out and pronouncing over others.

The saddest part of all of this to me is that—faking it—is more prevalent than ever before.

We are instructed to encourage one another in the hard times as God has encouraged us. Well, how can we be encouraged if we are painting smiles on our faces when our hearts are breaking? We can’t and therefore we have a big problem in the Body of Christ. Our enemy has tricked us into keeping our pain inside (which is another way of isolating us) it gives him free reign to tear us down emotionally and spiritually.

A couple of weeks ago, I called my mentor early one morning and cried like a baby over the phone. I was discouraged in a way I haven’t been in a long time. Emotionally I was beginning to feel hopeless in my life, spiritually I felt weak and starting to doubt God and physically my body was breaking down! I was a wreck!

I had been crying close to an hour before I called her. Instead of feeling better (which often a good cry does) I felt worst. I couldn’t stop crying for longer than 30 or 45 seconds. It was as if my crying triggered a landslide of emotions that were overtaking me—I needed help!!!

She listened attentively until I finished pouring out my heart. And knowing her she was praying the entire time I was talking, which gave her the wisdom and godly words to help encourage me. We have known each other many years which means she knows me pretty well. Therefore she was able to give it to me straight without fear of me becoming angry or upset with her because she is speaking the truth in love.

We looked at my situation according to what scripture had to say and who God is. (If we are going to judge ourselves, our lives or actions…it is best to use the Bible as our measuring stick)  I was able to see where I had allowed fear to push me into making a poor decision, and the ripple effect it was having on me. And I knew I had to go back to the place before I’d stopped trusting and waiting on the Lord. We ended our conversation with her praying for me and women in the Body. I was able to go to work and for the first time in weeks had a lighter spirit.

Sisters, it’s time to stop pretending we are okay when we are not. We need to be encouraged and encouraging others. I’m not saying tell everyone your business and use Facebook as a place to air your dirty laundry—No! But I am saying we must be real when we are struggling, so we can find help in our sisters. If, the joy of the Lord is our strength, and we are joyless, what does that make us?

Do not let fear or shame keep you quiet and suffering in silence. If you are struggling to believe God and your faith is wavering, you need the courage, love, understanding and encouragement of others to see you through.

In next week’s blog “When We Need to Make a U-Turn” I am going to continue to talk about my current situation—hoping you will be encouraged that though life may seem hopeless at times—in Christ, it never really is!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Our Prayers

What is the end result of a good personal prayer life? And by good, I’m using it as an adjective—healthy, fine, sound, tip-top, fit, robust, sturdy, strong, vigorous, fine, superior, and quality. So again, I ask, “What is the end result of a good prayer life?” Please take a moment to think about this question before you move on.

A good personal prayer life gives us confidence needed to follow Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. It also increases our faith in God. It becomes a place of refuge and comfort. It’s where we can cry and pour our souls out, knowing God hears and cares, but most of all it is a place where we spend time listening and hearing from God. Now, I have another question for you—why is it then that we so often invite others to pray for things we should be praying for ourselves?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying we should not ask for prayer from others, but I do want to take a look at how we can misuse and abuse the privilege of prayer.

Facebook has become a place where people are constantly asking their friends and family to pray for things that often just don’t make sense. And this has caused me to wonder if we really understand our privilege of being able to come to the throne and talk to our Father ourselves?

There are times in our lives when we desperately need others to pray for us and lift us up, because we are struggling to do so for ourselves. We can become so discouraged in life to the point we feel hopeless and or want to give up. Yes!! We need others to stand in the gap and pray for us and with us. But that doesn’t mean we should keep requesting prayer at the drop of a hat for any and everything.

Around Thanksgiving a Facebook friend posted her daughter was missing and requested prayer. Of course I prayed for her daughter’s safety, but I mainly prayed for my friend. As a mother I could not imagine what she was going through as each passing day went by and she did not know if her daughter was safe or alive. That was serious business, and I am happy to report she was found several days later!

A couple of months ago a missionary friend’s 11 year old adopted daughter was kidnapped. A call was put out for prayer and I even requested privately for some of my friends (who are mothers and grandmothers) to please join in praying for the family and this little girl. Child slavery is big in the country they are in and girls are taken every day and sold to men. But God blessed with a miracle and they got her back! This was huge.

But when I see constant request to pray for people’s animals, or because their child isn’t feeling well today and had to stay home from school, I’ve found myself a little perturbed. Why? Because we should be able to lay hands on our children and pray and speak healing over them when they don’t feel well. And the same if your animal is not feeling well. People also post on Facebook, requesting prayers for their pastor or church congregation. No, no, no, no!! You should be the one praying and maybe fasting for your pastor or congregation. Truthfully, what is someone who does not know this person really supposed to pray? Why do we not realize that prayer is relational and not a quick fix or magic wand just because we have enlisted others?

Often when we are looking for work and we have a job interview we enlist as many people as we know to please pray we get the job. That used to make sense to me, but it doesn’t anymore because, suppose it is not God’s will you take that job? And many times that is the case and then we’ve wasted time asking God for something that wasn’t going to happen. I now prayer for the person and lift them up because we can become discouraged as we wait upon the Lord and His timing for us.

Sisters, never hesitate to ask for prayer, but do stop and think before throwing out requests that are your responsibility. No one can pray for your husband, children, pastor or church like you can—that is your responsibility. Take the time it takes you to write on Facebook or call others to ask them to pray, and try praying yourself. We have to get to the point in our lives we are confident God hears us.  And know just because we have enlisted 100 others to pray with us, it still doesn’t mean we can persuade God to do something that He is not. His will be done and that often doesn’t translate into giving us what we want or how we want it.

I am grateful I have grown to where I no longer become agitated by the constant Facebook prayer request that should not be, and now spend time praying for the person making the request. It’s all about growing up girls, and we are coming into some difficult times and it is important that we will able to stand and have our own confidence and relationship with God. It is good to have others pray for you and with you—but we better know how to do it on our own too!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Sometimes You Just Have to Walk It Through

There are times in life when we just have to go through the process—there are no shortcuts to be had. And for some, this is a hard pill to swallow, but nonetheless it is a part of living.

Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way. Psalm 23:4 (TLB)

The 23^rd Psalm is probably one of the most quoted scriptures from the Bible. People who know hardly anything about the Bible can recite the 23^rd Psalm. In some ways this is good, but in other ways it may not be. And I say that because to recite or memorize something doesn’t mean we have really thought about what we are saying—often it is just making the brain retain words so we can recite them. Which is what I believe has happened with the use of the 23^rd Psalm.

The New King James translation says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” which is little more familiar to us.
 
David experienced God and understood the responsibility of a shepherd at a young age. He understood their main focus was to protect and direct the sheep to safety, no matter what the circumstances the shepherd was always there guarding and guiding them. He himself shepherded his father’s sheep. He had fought a lion and bear to keep them safe and from harm, putting his own life on the line for the safety of the flock. So, he really did understand how it worked and had a deep confidence in God and what He could and would do. And the truth is—so should many of us. No, we have never shepherded a flock of sheep before, but, we have experienced God’s greatness in our lives—yet we struggle when we must “walk through”!

It is very easy to say, “Yes though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid,” but it is a totally different story to believe it and act on it. There lies the problem for us.

There are trials and tribulations we must experience—just because. That’s right—just because. It could be just because we need to mature in our spiritual life, or maybe we need to be a good witness to someone else. Look at all that Joseph went through so the 12 tribes of Israel would survive. What about Job? And then there are the situations we have created for ourselves—the poor choices and decisions which have altered our lives. We can also go through hard times because of the actions and choices of others, such as our children, spouses, friends and family. Jesus never promised a life of roses to any of us, in fact He assured us there would be trials and tribulations, but we are to be of a good cheer (or keep our joy) for He has overcome the world.

Lately, I see so many unhappy, sad, joyless and complaining women in the Body of Christ, and this leads me to believe that though we can recite the 23rd Psalm, do we really believe what it says?

I am personally going “through” a difficult time in my own life. There are days I just want to give up! There are days, I sit down and cry about things. But, I can’t give up and I don’t spend but so much time crying because I have purposed to spend most of my energy, trusting God through it all. It is a battle of the mind, will, and flesh to trust God in the valley of the shadow of death. It is not an easy fate at all, so don’t think I have the 8 steps to make it easy, because I don’t! But I do know we can get to the point in our spiritual lives where we are not so afraid of what’s to come. We can have peace and joy in the midst of the darkness as we walk through whatever our shadow of darkness is, if we fight the good fight of the faith (complete Jewish Bible) to trust God in the process.

To whine and complain all the time shows a lack of maturity, because that is what babies and toddlers do. But! There is a time to put away childish things. Problem is, some of us have stunted growth and seem to be stuck. We are so overcome with disappointment we are unable to move through to the other side. We are having a hard time taking our eyes off our circumstances, and feel hopeless and lost most days. We struggle to appreciate anything in life because we are consumed with our own grief and sadness.

Yesterday while walking to work, I found myself thinking about my job in the negative (there was a mess of a battle going on in my mind) and I had to force myself to start thanking God! I thought about the people who would gladly switch places with me, if only to have two good legs to walk. I have friends who are blind, and surely they would love to see with the two eyes I have. I remembered a couple of years ago how I had lost my sense of smell and taste for 8 days and I thanked Him for being able to enjoy certain aromas and taste my food. There is always something to be grateful for no matter what we are experiencing at the time.

Sisters, no matter what your “valley of darkness” is today, if you work on “trusting” God, you will not be so fearful. You will not be sad and feel so helpless. But you must work at it.

There are 2 different books I would like to suggest for reading.

1. Secret Longings of the Heart, Overcoming deep Disappointment and Unfulfilled Expectations, by Carol Kent. If you are having a hard time moving forward because of a deep disappointment or great unfulfilled expectations, this will be a good book for you. But I warn you—you must be serious about making change if you get into this book. It also has a 12 week bible study to help you through the process.

2. The Battle Field of the Mind, by Joyce Meyer. This is a very practical book to help us understand how harmful our thoughts are to our spiritual wellbeing and faith. Joyce gives great insight to help us learn how to change our thought process and how beneficial it will be.

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie