I Just Want a Little Happiness in Life!

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot from women about wanting to be happy.

What does true happiness consist of?

Well, for some of us, we equate happiness with having enough money to pay our bills, buy nice things and travel. There are those of us, who desire to be married and think a husband will make us happy. And then there are those of us, who think happiness will come when we get rid of the husband. ~Smile~

I’ll be happy when I lose weight. I’ll be happy when I have a baby. I’d be happier if I could go to college. I would be happier with a better job.

The truth is—even if we have all the things we think will make us happy—we still encounter problems.

Let that husband up and leave you one day. He might walk out the door or he might go feet first. Then what? Anyone who has ever raised a teenager knows what it feels like to want to commit murder on any given day. Yup, that was the baby you wanted so badly to be happy.

Many of the things we equate happiness with, are fleeting—they’re nothing concrete to hold on to. All we need is a life unscripted episode to show up, and bam! It could all be gone in a flash!

We were never promised the good life doused in happiness. That’s the World trying to sell us a pile of cow dung in a glittery box.

Jesus told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV)

See the first sentence, “you will have trouble.” No, if ands or butts about it. We will have problems, trials and tribulations. Sorry, but it’s going to happen—no one can escape.

Okay, so now He has laid the reality of life or the bad news on us, but He doesn’t leave us hanging. He quickly lavishes us with the good news of the promise. He has overcome the world and all its problems, heartaches, disappointments, mayhem and foolishness! And in that we are to take heart or as the Amplified version tells us, “be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy].”

But nowhere does it say anything about being happy. Therefore, let us stop searching for happiness and putting posters on Facebook with untruths such as, “Everyone deserves to be happy.” It’s all foolishness. No such thing exists, sin doesn’t allow it. And God has never agreed to it—after the Garden incident.

Joy! Peace! And love! That’s what the Messiah left for us. And through the Holy Spirit who lives in us…we can do (accomplish) all things through Christ our Lord, who is our strength! [my paraphrase] Philippians 4:13 NKJV

I want to put this in a everyday practical light by using my most recent life struggle.

After being diagnosed with hyper tension in April, about a week later I received a report which diagnosed me to have three additional aliments and would need to take more medications.

Long story short, two weeks into the meds my blood pressure wasn’t budging much and my doctor added another medication. We discussed putting off some of the other meds until later on down the line. It was all too much to take at one time.

Well, girls…the most serve complications or that crazy thing that only happens to 1%, decided to visit me.

Yup, the enemy came after me strong.

I completely changed my diet and exercise, and focused on what the Word had to say about it all.

That’s a great start—right?!

But, life is not always that simple or easy.

Monday of last week, I started taking another new medication. I had been praying for days, against the side effects of digestive problems such as diarrhea and so on. I took that first pill confident I was not going to experience any of the long lists of side effects. And guess what? I didn’t! Nope, I experienced the unusual often fatal warning effects.

Yup!

I never even read them. Never prayed about them. Didn’t see them coming.

By Thursday, I was so ill (and home alone), I questioned the Holy Spirit if I should call for an ambulance? His response, “Today is not your day to die!” I laid down and prayed until I feel asleep. I was supposed to call my doctor, but I couldn’t be told to pick up another prescription. I just stopped the medication as prescribed under the warning.

I spent the weekend with a foggy head, and all types of body aches and a feelings of melancholy from the medication. All I could do was pray and trust God!

But there has been one constant through all of this—I’ve looked for the good, the joy and the peace—promised to me.

It wasn’t easy, but I did it.

My oldest daughter (an RN), was initially taking my blood pressure twice a day. And her words began to prick at my faith. She would take my pressure, and look at me and say, “It isn’t moving!” But it was moving, maybe just a little bit, but it was moving and my heart beat wasn’t ringing as loudly in my ear. That was something, so I thought.

After speaking with my doctor, she did change my medication around and my daughter was still not satisfied with my progress.

I bought an automatic reader to do it myself. I needed someone to agree it could be better, but to also acknowledge it was moving, even if that person was me! I kept looking for the good in all of it, so I would not become discouraged and feed into the enemy’s whispers, “It’s not working, you’re going to have a stroke or better yet—die!”

Truthfully, my blood pressure was extremely high and if I hadn’t passed the “EKG” I would have probably been hospitalized on my first doctor’s visit. And my daughter was very concerned for me. But we were coming from different points of view. Hers was medical—mine was spiritual.

Even when it was high, I spoke the Word over myself and good pressure numbers and heart rate.

When I was so sick from the new meds and couldn’t exercise or even come close to my goal steps, I still found the good in the fact that it was not my day to die. And had peace knowing God was with me, and granted me another day.

Yes sisters, life can seem so unfair at times. Things happen that we have no control over and we feel duped because we have tried so hard to do our best and we still get what feels like a beat down. And without a doubt, we can easily find ourselves in a place where we are battling depression because “we are not happy,” and “life is so unfair”.

There's a huge problem when looking for happiness...we miss the peace and joy that Jesus so generously left us. Here I was, cooking all my meals, cutting out high sodium and processed foods. Exercising, mediating on the Word, and bam! I went totally backward from something that was supposed to help me.

I had been struggling for a good month to see change and feel better. And I mean feel better like my old self. I might have showed up with hypertension at the doctor’s, but I didn’t have one symptom. Then I take meds to help me and I feel horrible.

Yes, I was tempted to feel sorry for myself? Why? Because life has been far from easy for me. I had no control over what happened to me as a child, and the rest played out from sin and poor choices. Nonetheless, I was hopeful my 60’s would be easier. Why not?

I tell you why not, because it was never promised to me or any of us.

But, we were given all we need to make it through whatever comes our way. We just have to get into the Word, so we know what to do and how to handle things.

Paul told the Church in Thessalonica, we are to give thanks in all situations for it is God’s will for us. Do, I thank God for sickness? NO! Jesus corrected that before He even made it to the Cross, but I do thank God for all the good I can see and find in the situation at hand. And believe that He is somehow working it all together for my good.

Sisters, I know some of you are experiencing difficult and challenging times right now. But if you will grab hold of what the Word has to say (read your Bibles), you can have the “Shalom” type of peace that is promised to us—nothing broken, nothing missing.

Happiness is a fleeting emotional state, but the peace and joy of God which surpasses all human understanding is ours for eternity. It’s concrete! It is real! It is yours for the taking! Amen!

Note: Today I feel better than I have since my first doctor's visit on Monday, April 18, 2016! My pressure is really staring to come down on a daily bases. And I continue to speak perfect numbers over myself. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Collective Wisdom

Encore blog from August 16, 2013

Pursuing through my latest issue of Décor Magazine the other day, I came across a photo article titled, “Collective Wisdom”. It was about rooms decorated with antiques. But when I read the title, it made me think about the “Collective Wisdom of God” through certain friends. No, I’m not calling them antiques, but between the three women I’m going to talk about they have a total of 61 years of godly wisdom and counting!

These years are not from when they accepted Christ, but once they came to a point in life of what it meant to really serve Him.

Each of these women are in different age groups, which shows how diverse godly wisdom can be. My 40 something has 19 years, my 50 something has 19 years and my 60 something has 25 years. Wow!! That is 61 years of trials and tribulations, mess ups, growth, deliverance, failures, deserts, wildernesses, valleys, mountain tops, disappointments, great faith, lack of faith, discouragements, good times, bad times, hard times, easy times, pity parties, victories and the list goes on. Yet, the end result of all this living is three women full of godly wisdom who continue to help keep me safe! Proverbs 24:6b… “And in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” KJV

My 60 something friend has been my mentor since I was a wee babe in Christ. There are many things I love and admire about her, but I would have to say her best characteristic traits are, she is “no nonsense”! Her counsel is always based in the Word of God. She provokes me to think and when I have needed a swift kick or slap on the back of the head (spiritually speaking) she has not hesitated to help me out! ~Smile~ Over the years she has given me so much godly advice I don’t remember it all, but there is one thing that is always constant…doing things God’s way (obedience) and walking in love.

Not being married to my youngest daughter’s father made for many challenges through the years—especially me having to walk in love toward him when I felt he was being a jerk. The blessing is God used her to never let me get to far off track in the madness surrounding him. In fact there were times I often felt she was too much on his side, but the truth is…she was always on God’s side. Whenever I called to vent about something he did, she immediately turned it around to what I should be doing! But one day he outdid himself and when I told her about it, she chimed in on the vent. Finally! She was seeing things my way. Well, that lasted all of 2 minutes and then she said, “Okay, we have vented enough, the Bible says……” So, no matter what, she never allows me to wallow in self-pity or anything that is detrimental to my spiritual wellbeing.

The 50 something friend is my “Faith Partner”! We encourage one another to have faith in God and His promises. We encourage each other to remember the good times so we can praise Him through the tough times. We encourage each other to hold on and not give up or become weary in waiting on the Lord. I am able to share my hopes and dreams with her without fear of her throwing a bucket of cold water on me. Why? Because she is one who believes with all her heart that there is nothing to hard for God. Whenever I become discouraged, I can call her and before we hang up, our spirits are lifted and my heart is lighter. When you encourage someone in the things of God; you also end up encouraging yourself too. It’s just contagious that way.

Now my 40 something friend is the baby girl of the group, but she is far from being a spiritual baby. She’s the one you want next to you if you ever have to fight. ~Smile~ She has helped me move on 3 different occasions in the past 10 years. We are talking packing, cleaning and setting up before moving in. And once she and her husband rented a U-Haul and moved me. Now you know why if you mess with me you might get a black eye…girlfriend is strong spiritually and physically too. LOL!

Over the years she has done so much to help me, I’ve lost count. And best of all she can make me laugh. When we hangout, people are always looking at us because we laugh loud and a lot. In fact we don’t really know how to be quiet in the movies if the movie stinks. Nope, you don’t want to hang out with us if you are embarrassed easily. What I love about her is how she doesn’t just talk about what God can do; she is often the vehicle He uses to be the blessing and show His love to others.

Writing about these three ladies has reminded me of how rich I am in friendships. One is a great teacher and doer of the Word, another has great faith, and the third has the gift of helps. The common thread they share is their great love for God, which overflows into everything they touch, especially relationships. They always encourage me to be the best I can in the Lord, and if they move up a step in the Kingdom, they reach back to help pull me up with them. They have all been very instrumental in helping me and Tovah over the years. And the truth is, I can’t remember all their great deeds. Now, that’s abundance if I say so myself!

Sisters if you don’t have women in your lives admonishing you to handle life situations God’s way—it’s time to make a change. Our desire should be to have Proverbs 27: 9 friends… “Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.” (KJV)

What kind of collective wisdom is in your treasures of friendships?

Look for a blog next week, until then….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

What’s Your Relationship Status?

On Facebook’s relationship status, you have the option to leave it blank or put in whatever you want. But once you click that button, it lets all your friends and family know there’s been a life change.

And sometimes it’s good and other times it’s not so good.

Who wants to be bombarded with questions or whispered about when Facebook announces—you’re no longer in a relationship? Or even worst—the marriage is over. But on the other hand, it’s nice when people become engaged, married or a new parent. 

I guess like anything, a relationship status button should be used wisely.

But speaking about relationship statuses, what’s yours with yourself?

If I were to ask, “How is your relationship with your sister or brother?” You would be able to tell me right away. If you guys are close it would be all unicorns and rainbows. If you are at odds, I would hear a story of woe. Same goes for your boss, husband, neighbors, parents, children, friends and so on. We can quickly express what is going on in these relationships—but not so much with ourselves.

We have high expectations for our children and we will sacrifice as much as we can for them…even when it’s not always wise to. Relationship status: I adore my children. There is nothing I will not do for them.

Your husband is a hardworking, kind, generous, selfless man who loves the Lord. Relationship status: I love my husband and will do whatever it takes to keep him happy and lift him up.

The company you work for really sucks. Relationship status: I can’t wait to find another job and get out of here!

My relationship status with myself…

…I don’t like my hair. I wish it was thicker and not so mousy. My butt is too big and let’s not talk about the nagging belly fat I just can’t get rid of. I have never liked my ears, always thought they were too big. I’ve never thought of myself as pretty or beautiful. My arms are flabby and I don’t have nice shaped legs. It seems like one of my breast are larger than the other. My toes are really on the ugly side. My hands have always looked old, even when I was a young girl. I didn’t do well in school, so I think I’m not that smart. I’m just a stay-at-home mom.

In other words, many of us are not in a “love” relationship status with ourselves. And that is a huge problem in the Body of Christ.

Here’s the deal sisters…we have to work on having a good relationship with ourselves. It is important!

One of the best places to start is with the things we can change and accept and love that which we can’t.

Growing up I was teased about the shape of my legs. The kids used to call me, “Baseball bat legs!” My ankles are thin and from the knee down, my legs did resemble baseball bats. Did this make me feel good about myself or my legs? No! And to top it off, my sister and mother had very muscular shaped legs that looked really good in shorts, dresses and heels.

But one day a very wise woman helped me to see the value of my baseball bat shaped legs. She simply told me, “Thank God they work!” I’ve always loved them after that.

There are physical things we can change and then there are those we must embrace and see the value in them. Maybe you are getting crow’s feet and lines in your face in places that were once smooth. Use moisturizer and thank God you have hands that work to apply it and eyes to see where it goes. It’s all in our perspective!

Now, let’s take a look at that, which is most important—the inward things that hold us back.

Maybe you didn’t do well in school. It really has nothing to do with how smart you are in Christ. I really take to heart that the Bible says I now have the mind of Christ. (I Corinthians 2:13-16) How is it possible to not be smart with that kind of inside track?

There might be things in your past you are far from proud of—but that has nothing to do with who you are in Christ today. My bible says we are new creatures in Him and that the old has passed away, and we are washed clean by His precious blood. Forgive yourself and let go, just as God has forgiven and put all your sins in the sea of forgetfulness.

People put labels on people—but the Cross dispels them all!

There is but one label we wear—flawless daughters of the King!

When the bible states we are fearfully and wonderfully made—how can we just be a stay-at-home mom? Are we not great and been given the privilege and position of teaching and raising children to follow and love the Lord. Is that not a high calling? It is to me.

We must stop comparing ourselves to others and learn to be thankful for who we are.

Not all things in our outward appearance can be changed, but it is a totally different story about the inside—read your bible and you will see.

You’re short tempered. The Holy Spirit will help you with that. You feel intimidated being around other people and your conversation is limited. Read. Watch educational TV. I used to hate history in school (Probably still would if it was all about remembering dates.), but I adore history now. And above all else, I love biblical history!

But in order for us to love ourselves and see great value in who we are (flaws and all), we must first believe what God (the One who made us), has to say about us.

Our relationship status with ourselves should always be one of love. No, we are not perfect and never will be on this earth, but that doesn’t change who God says we are.

Each morning, speak a good relationship status over yourself. “I am smart!” “I am beautiful!” “I am fearless!” “I am kind!” “I am a woman of wisdom!” “I am a woman of godly counsel!” “I am forgiven!” “I am a good mother!”

I’m not encouraging anyone to be prideful; I just want us to move forward in love toward ourselves.

If your first answer to, “What’s your relationship status with yourself?” was negative or you couldn’t answer off the top of your head—change that today. After all, you have the mind of Christ and that means something!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Clutter!

Encore blog: January 31, 2014

Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self! ~Eleanor Brownn~

Wow!! When I first read this quote by Eleanor Brownn, it hit me like a ton of bricks! It made me stop and think about the things we as daughters of the King live with on a daily bases that doesn’t support the better us!

I chose this week’s photo because it’s a very good representation of what the inside of some of us looks like or a relationship we are in. It does give you a sense of emotional clutter as well as physical.

Housing and holding on to Old Ideas, is most defiantly living in the past.

Continually allowing Bad Habits to have rule gets us nowhere?

Toxic Relationships can affect everything about us!

Letting go seems to be very hard for people. Have you ever watched one of the hoarder shows? It’s amazing what people cling too. Same thing goes for toxic relationships. Women stay in marriages and relationships where they are physically and mentally abused for years. Many families have toxic relationships that just bring out the worst in everyone. Friendships can be summed up as toxic when one uses the other and never brings anything good or worthwhile to the table.

Bad habits become a way of life and gain rule over us. On many levels we realize they are there, but often don’t have the courage or conviction to make change.

Hanging on to old ideas stagnates and stunts our growth, yet we can still refuse to let go.

Why is that?

Fear!

This is the type of “Fear” Timothy warns us about, the type of fear that hinders and can paralyze us. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Women stay in toxic marriages and relationships out of fear of being alone. Often married women fear how they will make it on their own, especially if they have children. Some women are so desperate to be attached to someone (their self-esteem is so low) they view the abuse as a viable option to being alone.

It can be scary to have to move on and leave family and old friends behind—but many times that is what’s needed. As a parent you might need to put someone out of your house. When Jesus became prominent in my life, I lost all my friends, and I do mean ALL. That shows you what type of life I was living. I drank a lot ( way too much), smoked, cussed, partied, gossiped, had sex outside of marriage, was petty, unforgiving, envious of others, vindictive and just hung out with folks that by God’s standard were pure heathens! But then Christ got a hold of me, and I did become a new creature. And bit, by bit, I moved away from most of them and the others moved away from me. You see, I was no longer fun and one of them.

I did try to hold on to some even though I knew they were not good for me. Why? Out of fear of not having any friends—fear of being lonely. And you know what? I was lonely for a period of time. But it was a time of purging on God’s part and they were all replaced by daughters of the King, “aka” mighty women of God!

At the time I had a best friend of over 17 years, and I really didn’t want to lose her, but the more I talked to her and listen to her cuss up a storm the more I realized I had to cut back on our conversations, because I was putting down “fitly” communications. The more she gossiped about others, the more I realized we were drifting apart. And then eventually I saw with clear eyes (because I no longer walked in darkness) that our friendship had been built on all things that were an assault to Christ and I had to let her go.

Now I tell you sisters, God replaced her with a best friend and mentor whose friendship is going on 24 years now. And He replaced all the others too. (See August 16, 2013, blog: Collective Wisdom,)

I had to let go of my old way of thinking and allow my mind to be continuously renewed by the Word of God. Old ideas and old ways of thinking were no longer acceptable in the Kingdom if I wanted to grow and move forward in Christ.

The breaking of old habits is the work in progress that we are, but that can’t be an excuse to stay enveloped in them. We must keep striving to reach a higher mark in life as Believers; we cannot allow the “clutter” to takeover and run our lives.

Sisters, what clutter do you have in your lives that is not supporting the “better you”? What clutter is tearing you down and holding you back? Once you have honestly answered these questions, then it is time to step out in faith to make change and let go.

We don’t have to be afraid of the unknown, because it is all known to God. Don’t be afraid to let old friends and some family members go. There are times it just has to be done. Don’t be afraid to get to a safe haven if you are being abused. It is not God’s will for anyone to be abused. Don’t be afraid to put an old dream to rest and move forward into something new. Remember what the Lord has told us, “Fear Not!”

Oh, and if the picture I used today reflects your home or bedroom in anyway—you really need to start there and get it cleaned up. Why? Because it truly is a reflection of things going on inside. Amen.

Blessings and Hugs

Until next week......Ponnie