FAMILY

Before sitting down to write this blog, I did a google search on famous quotes about family…some were wise and others, I guess where meant to be humorous. They ranged from Benjamin Franklin, C. S. Louis, and Mother Teresa to Jerry Seinfeld. And one of my favorites is, “What can you do to promote world peace, go home and love your family.” Mother Teresa. I think I like it because Jesus says, “Charity (love) begins at home and then spreads abroad.” He also tells us that people will know that we are His, by the way we love one another.”

When I think back to how my family was growing up to how fragmented it is now, I see that we did have a matriarch who made it her life’s work to keep us together and involved. (My mother’s older sister Josephine.)

Family and family gatherings were very important to her and she worked hard over the years to keep us connected. In fact, I think she worked too hard. Her fabulous Christmas dinners was something we all looked forward too, when we were younger, but once we (meaning us girls) were old enough to help, it than became work—too much work if you ask me.

When I was a young girl, it was fun to spend time with my aunt polishing silver (dreaming of my own one day) and learning how to bake sweet potato pies. But as the years passed it ceased to be fun or enjoyable.

I sometimes wonder if that’s why we are so splintered today and only seem to get together for funerals versus just to have fun and check in with each other.

And just about every family has that one person you dread seeing at family gatherings. You know the one who starts the agreements or is forever bringing up old stuff and getting people all riled up! Sorry to say, my mother was the one in our family. SMH! But her sister’s love for her ran deep, so even though my mother had the capacity to offend a room full of people in 10 minutes or less—they never left her out.

But now most of us have an even bigger family to consider. I like the way Richard Bach puts it, “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but respect and joy in each other’s life.” Yup, our Jesus family. And you know what; sometimes they seem like too much work too!

Please don’t think I’m leaving myself out of the loop, because I’m not. (I used to be a piece of work and still have the propensity to be one at any given time.) But from my aunt I learned that love is an action word, which takes a lot of work and determination.

Families can be messy, unforgiving, loving, deranged, horrible, endearing, mean spirited, ruthless, caring, liars, cheaters, generous, selfish, self-centered, self-sacrificing, despicable, uncaring and forgiving. There are many more adjectives to use, but you get my drift.

When you read the above paragraph were you nodding in agreement as to your natural bloodline or did one or two of your brothers, or sisters-in-Christ come to mind?

Because of sin everyone does not get to grow up in a loving two parent household, with grandparents and aunts and uncles who adored them. Many of us grew up in very dysfunctional (and in some cases, criminal) families and foster homes, which wounded us deeply. And we lug all those deep  hurts into our Christ family. Only problem is—no one knows our history—no one will know the pain until we let them in. But, can they be trusted?

There is one who can be trusted with our secrets…and that is God Himself! Of course God already knows everything about us, but nonetheless we find ourselves living as though we have secrets He is not privy too.

Father Knows Best and The Brady Bunch were all make believe and there is no such thing, but Jesus shows us what those in His family are to look like…

…people treating each other as we want to be treated, giving without looking for things in return, honoring our mother and father and helping our brothers and sisters in need. Lavishing love on those who have offended or hurt us by holding no record of their offense and forgiving as we want to be forgiven. Treating each other with great kindness and respect. Sharing generously and lifting one another up. Celebrating each other’s successes (not envious) and consoling one another when life is hard. We are not to rejoice when another missteps or messes up, but stand in love until they come through. And we are to be patient with the difficult ones.

Yet, too many of us are at odds with family members (natural and spiritual). We are still holding on to past arguments, fights and unforgiveness. Not letting go of things we had no control over, vowing to “forgive” but never to “forget”. And jealousy.

You see my dear sisters; family is loving, endearing, caring, generous, self-sacrificing and forgiving…and yes—a lot of work!  

When God requires us to do something, He gives us everything we need to succeed, and Jesus has not left us hanging on how to love one another as He commands.

Here’s His measuring stick for us to check ourselves on our love walk. Click, I Corinthians 13:4-7 (Amp)

When we love like Jesus, “Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end”. I Corinthians 13:8a (Amp) Love is a decision, followed by action. Just as I witnessed my aunt’s love for my mother, others are watching to see what kind of witnesses we are for Christ.

Learning to love, forgive and let go, is one of the greatest healings we can receive, and then we are able to shower it on others to help them heal and be whole.

Sisters, we are living in some crazy times and we need to strengthen our love walk. And there is only one way to do that—spending time in the Word, prayer with God and being a true follower of Christ!

We are to live in peace, as long as it is within our power. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

God Really Does Know What's Best

It seems that I have fallen into the pattern of moving every 4 years or so, and through this tiring experience—I’ve learned to trust God more.

My first encounter with God taking over the move was in 1993. I found myself with a preterm baby and 18 year old nursing student and unable to pay my rent. Long story short, the Lord used my sister to make a 2 bedroom apartment available that I could afford. But there was one hitch—I had to sign a lease—sight unseen! I really didn’t have a choice but to trust Him. It was either that or a shelter.

It was a beautiful apartment with a total of 11 windows, which translated into a lot of sunlight. Even though I was a baby in the Lord, I knew a miracle when I saw one. I lived there for 9 years and encountered some problems as the better tenants moved out and the not so good ones moved in, before it was my time to leave—but I never lost sight of how God had given me such a beautiful place to live and the way He did it. (In fact at the time, I felt so unworthy of His love and would have been grateful just to not have to go into a shelter.) I even homeschooled my youngest there for 4 years.

Though I have matured in many ways over the years, I still have a lot of learning to do. But one thing I seem to understand better at this juncture, is that there are things we don’t have to ask for and there are things we shouldn’t be wasting time asking for.  

You might ask, "Why is that?"

Because when we trust God to handle our business for us, He knows what’s best!

Last month I had a conversation with a dear friend concerning whether God was going to allow me to take a piece of furniture I wanted to my new home. It wasn’t clear if it would make the move because of a few different reasons. In situations such as these it’s best to turn it over to God. He knew I desired to take it and He knew the circumstances surrounding it, so I conceded to whatever He decided. If it went with me—okay. If it didn’t make the trip—okay.

When I shared this with her, she responded by telling me she was going to go to the Throne on my behalf concerning this matter. Her response was out of love for me and her confidence in the Lord hearing her prayers—but there really wasn’t a need. It was already settled between me and the Lord, so she need not waste her time. There was nothing new she could bring to the table.

In my last three moves, God has surprised me or given me something I either had a great desire for or never ever thought about. So, with this very recent move, I didn’t ask for one thing—I left it up to Him to work it out.

“2007” Moved into a house that had been gutted and redone. In fact it was the best house on the block and the biggest gift was a—spa tub. For years I was a huge fan of HGTV and at the time the rage was all about spa tubs. Yet I never desired to have one, but when I got it…I loved it!

“2011” Moved into a 3 story house with my oldest daughter and 4 grandchildren in a beautiful 

suburban community full of restaurants, shopping areas and so many cool

amenities all within walking distance. I could walk to a Trader Joe’s in 15 minutes. But the biggest gift was a front porch I could sit on and have flowers without fear of stray bullets and the daily aroma of cannabis.

My neighbors loved the flowers and I loved the conversations when they stopped while taking their dogs for walks. Oh, and a hidden gem was a walking trail that lead to a duck pond. 

“2015” Just moved and became a roomie—first time since college. There are so many fantastic things about this place I don’t even know where to begin. J I guess the new people in my life would be a good start. Between my roomie’s grown daughter, our next door neighbor (my new friend) and some of her other girlfriends, I am having the time of my life. We dance (I so love to dance), play cards and dominoes and best of all my roomie is a foodie, Italian and can cook! Yes, we do a lot of talking, laughing and having fun over good plates of food.

And though our condo/townhouse is in a shady spot, my bedroom is flooded with sunlight when the rest of the house is darker. And with the central air conditioning (another great gift, I never asked for), I've been very comfortable through two long heat waves and I even made soup yesterday. You may not think making soup during the dog days of August a big deal, but this is a first for me. I didn’t have to wait until the fall and cool weather to enjoy homemade soup, which by the way I love!

Let's take a look at how the Lord has pulled this all together for me...I was raised having a dimly light and dark bedroom—God showed me how much good sunlight lifts my spirits. In the neighborhood I grew up in, sitting on the porch was a wonderful past time, which living in apartments is something you must give up. For 4 years He gave me one that surpassed any I have ever had before. I grew up taking baths and have a love for them, so the spa tub was something playful and delightful. And the central air is a blessing because I’m getting older and really don’t like the heat. 

Though each place I've lived has had something different to offer, there is one common thread and that is sunlight. God has made sure to never put me in a place that reminds me of the prison I grew up in. Only He could figure that out for me. 

I remember back in the early 90’s when the name it and claim it message was rising up, and I heard preachers telling us to be specific in asking God for what you wanted. “Lord, I want a 6 bedroom house in a gated community on the west side with 3 baths and a 3 car garage and 3 new cars to go in it. Oh wait; let me tell you exactly what models, makes and colors of the cars I want.”

Some of us are still in that mindset today. God is not our doting grandfather; He is not an internet shopping website nor a JC Penny’s catalog. He is God, a loving Father who knows best and when allowed, will give us those things that will truly enhance our lives in ways we never would have thought of.

When we can trust God enough to take care of the particulars, we fair much better in life. He knows what the future holds. Yes, your family might be bursting at the seams in the house you’re in and would love more space or an extra bathroom. But, stop bugging God about it and turn it over to Him. Trust Him in the matter, which will not allow dissatisfaction to creep in and you find yourself in a place of complaining and being ungrateful for where you are and what you have. 

We are being taught to say affirmations, and that can be a really good thing for us…but! The but is on the material things, versus the spiritual things. It can be very profitable for us to get up every day proclaiming our healing (whether body, mind or soul), that we are made in the image of God (if you suffer from depression and low self-esteem), that God loves you and will never leave you or forsake you (as you travel through a period of grief). But I think it is time to leave looking for checks in the mail and this that and the other behind us. And I say this because the more I study what it is to seek living in the Kingdom of God the better handle I'm beginning to get on understanding what Jesus is saying here. Click to read Matthew 6:25-33 Amp

Sisters, let’s dig into God through prayer and the reading and studying of His Word. That we may grow to trust Him to take care of our business. I mean Jesus himself, tells us that our Father knows what we have need of—trust Him to supply it—His way. We often ask for a vase of roses, when God desires to let us free in a field of wild flowers. Amen!

P.S. The piece of furniture didn't make the move. ~Smile~

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Good Customer Service

Recently I encountered one of the worst buying experiences (with a well known American company), in my life! And that’s saying something because I’m not a spring chicken. LOL!

Growing up this company was the place to go for appliances, bedding and more. Everyone I knew had a fridge or washer from them. Their service contracts were the best and everyone loved them, so I didn’t bother to do my homework on who they are today and I ran into big trouble.

While looking online for a new bed, I came across a great sale they were having on a name brand mattress set. They didn’t have it in the store, but you could order online. I did my research on the set and the reviews were stellar, so I bought it. Had a great delivery date and time. The day before it was to arrive, I was notified twice of my estimated arrival. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I paid extra to narrow down my delivery time.

It was to be delivered at my new home two days before I fully moved in. My scheduled delivery was between 8am to 10am. At 10:20am I received an automated call, telling me there was a problem with my delivery and I needed to call to reschedule. What!

And thus began the nightmare…..

Long story short, my bed was never on the truck and had not been delivered from the warehouse.

I would have to wait another week.

No way was that happening. But the worst part was talking to people whose first language was not English. This company farms out their customer service to a Spanish speaking call center. One woman’s accent was so heavy I could hardly understand her. No one and I mean “No one” tried to help me! They all read from a script and could not grasp the idea of doing anything to make this right. And it took talking to 5 different people and two days before I got them to cancel my order and make sure they gave me back all my money. They told me it would take 7 – 10 business days before it would be back in my checking account. I prayed and it was back in 3 days.

You might be wondering, “Why is she sharing this?” Well, because it made me think about what poor customer care service we as Christians sometimes present to others.

I’ve been in customer service positions most of my working life. I started out as a telephone operator, waitressed and was a barmaid in college. Worked in corporate America as a manager and retail. Over the years, I’ve been trained to know what good customer service is and what it is not.

Just imagine how we (customer care reps for Christ) sell Jesus as a bill of goods to the lost and hurting, and once they join our church or become Christians, we aren’t really there for them. We expect them to become spiritual giants overnight, forgetting they are babies and really don’t have a clue. We spout Bible scriptures at them for everything, (Which they don’t understand anymore then I could talking to someone speaking with a thick accent.) as a cure all.

And what about our place of employment and community? We have Bibles on our desk, and praise the Lord this and praise the Lord that in our conversations. We want people to know—we are  Christians! Yet they see us running in late all the time, talking on our cell phones when we should be working. Or even worse, we are the leader of the office gossip and take an extra 10 minutes every day for lunch.

Our neighbors see us toting our Bible on Sundays and Wednesdays, but we snub them because they are the ones sitting on the porch smoking pot. Or the lesbian couple who has blended their children together and like to fuss and cuss all the time.

And we can’t forget our own families. We drag our children to church on Sunday (maybe even keep them there all day), and Monday through Saturday, all they see and experience is the same old mean and hateful us. They see us being disrespectful to our husbands, unkind to others and hear us gossiping on the phone and being as the kids like to say, “Two-faced” in our relationships with others.

Just as I will never do business with this company again, because those who represent them, left a really bad taste in my mouth—it is the same for people when it comes to Christ. Yup! Our actions or lack of them leaves a bad taste about Christ, and Christians in general.

I encountered people who were not from America and didn’t have a clue about American Commerce—all they had was a script to read from. Well, some of us are in the same boat—we don’t have a clue about Kingdom living and how it works. And all we do is hand people a script (scriptures), never really addressing the problem.

When a company sets a goal of good quality service, they have a plan on how to make things right—especially when they mess up. But in order to do this, they must have people representing them who understand their business and what it takes to make people whole.

Same goes for us as representatives of the Kingdom of God. We have to know and understand the Kingdom and how it works, before we can help someone else. Good customer service people go through all types of training, which prepares them to handle the different situations they encounter (because each is unique in itself) and when they can’t satisfy you, they will go to a manager for their level of expertise. Same applies to us! When we know the God of the Bible we can help others and if for some reason we need to go to someone more mature for help, we shouldn’t hesitate.

What do people say about you behind your back? “Oh there goes the Christian!” in a sarcastic tone, or “She’s a kind woman.” acknowledging there is something different about you?

Put your name in the blank and ask yourself,  "What type of “representative” are you ______________?"

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

BRAVE!

I’ve been hearing the word, “Brave” a lot the past couple of days, from family and friends. It has been in reference to Tovah my 22 year old daughter who left Tuesday to go live in Honduras for the next 2 years. The women in our lives have expressed how proud they are of her for being so brave to leave family and friends, only weeks after graduating from college. At first, I thought to myself, “Of course she’s brave, she comes from good stock!” (I was referring to myself as the good stock. J), but the truth of the matter is…I doubt very seriously if I would have had the courage to go to another country to live when I was her age.

Tovah was taught to believe God for everything, but like most children raised in Christian homes, she rode mostly on the coattails of my faith for the big stuff.  And that was okay for a season, but now it’s time for her to build up her own faith and relationship with the Lord.

When I was 22 years old, I really didn’t have a clue as to who I was, and even though Tovah had a much better life than I did, she too is still finding out who she is. I think this is the case for most young people her age. She has a friend who also graduated as an Educator in May, and moved from our area to Baton Rouge, LA a few weeks ago to teach inner city kids. Wow, another brave young woman! She has no friends or family there, but went anyway.

What is it about them and all the other young Christian women who flew the coop this past month? What makes them so different or sets them apart?

Tovah's inner circle of four girlfriends all graduated in May and they all have jobs (in their field) and are doing well. And what I see as a common thread is from a young age they’ve had a heart to follow Christ and obey God. And this has made all the difference in the world.

They were taught that God had a plan for their lives and a completed destiny for them—and they chose to believe this truth. They are all virgins and proud of it. They have embraced that though this is not the norm for the world, it is God’s normal.

Though their faith in what God can do may be new in many ways, it is because of their obedience in the way they live, that they are reaping a harvest (at a young age) of God’s best blessings—across the board!

Don’t misunderstand, I am not saying that because they have chosen to live for God and be a reflection of Christ that life is easy or will always be easy—no, that’s not what I’m saying. But I am saying that the Word of God is true and with obedience comes blessings and when you live a lifestyle of obedience, you will be blessed. Amen!

But do not be dismayed or sad, if you were one who didn’t know Christ when you were young, or chose to be a “prodigal daughter” it’s still not too late.

It’s not too late to get serious about your relationship with God. It’s not too late to start living the privilege life that Christ bought for us on the Cross. It is not too late!

The problem for many of us is—we are not brave enough to try.

We are not brave enough to step out on faith even when we are afraid. We are not brave enough to take God at His Word, when things look bad. We are not brave enough to just believe.

One day last spring Tovah called me from college very frantic. In one of her education classes her professor had a young woman talk to the class about the interview process (for teachers) in the surrounding counties. By the time she finished with how they were going to be competing against their friends and each other, and they might be interviewed 5 times and still not get the job, she had worked everyone (including Tovah) into a panic!

My response was, “That might have been her journey, but that is not your destiny, so don’t sweat it!” Was she convinced? Maybe just a little. (Even though she’s had the anointing to be a teacher since she was five years old.)  I asked her, “Why would God call you to be a teacher, pay for you to become a teacher and then not have you teach?”

Well, we all know I was correct, because she has a teaching job in Honduras. She is bilingual in Spanish (maybe a little rusty), and always wanted to teach abroad. But she is no different than the rest of us and easily fell into the trap of listening to someone else.

There are days we wake up and we are brave, but by the time we have entertained the lies of our enemy or other peoples doubts and fears of what we can do, should do and can’t do…we are no longer brave. And this can all happen before we even get out of bed.

Here’s the key to becoming brave (even when you’re afraid), study the Bible, spend time with God and surround yourself with people who are strong in faith and know the Word of God. We all need someone to tell us, “Yeah, that might be how it is for so-and-so, but that is not your destiny!” and be able to back it up with the Bible.

I am so godly proud of Tovah and her girlfriend in how brave they are to trust God (even when they were afraid) and go where He is sending them.

Sisters, what dreams or desires have you let slip away, because you listened to someone else, other than the Spirit of the Lord?

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie