When We Need to Make a U-Turn

 Probably all of us who drive have made a U-Turn at one time or another, and maybe not all of them have been legal. ~Smile~ U-Turns are a handy way to go back to that turn or exit you missed, which has now put you in unknown territory or has you feeling lost. Sometimes life is the same way—we need to make a U-Turn to get back to the point where we missed God or took a wrong turn.

Back in October I found myself without an income and on the job search. At 60, that was a little frightening to say the least. But instead of taking time to remember my history with the Lord and how very faithful He has always been, (I have been in tighter places before) I took the first thing that came along. And the sad thing about it all was, deep down I knew this couldn’t be what the Lord had for me, but I allowed fear and the demands of someone else push me to make a poor decision.  

Let me go back and give you a little background on something the Holy Spirit told me a few years ago. Tovah was in the 11^th grade at the time and we knew she was college bound and I began to question God about what that would mean for me? I wanted to know what lie ahead for me and how I could change my life and lack of finances. He told me (without a doubt), “You are going to write your way out of it!” My faith partner had been praying with me and once I had my answer we began talking about it and get excited.

The past 7 months I have been working on two major writing projects. I’m talking about something that with God’s favor will really change my life! And Boom! I got off the wrong exit and found myself lost! Yes!! I took a job that had nothing to do with writing. They were very deceitful about things and each week I was there it went from bad to worst! And to top it all off, I was no longer working on my writing projects and missed an important deadline. Fear had won out for a minute.

That’s the bad news, but the good news is—I made a U-Turn and went back to the point where I had stopped trusting and waiting on the Lord to open up a door. What does that mean for me? I’m back where I started, with no income but this time I’m going to wait on Him. No more giving into the counterfeits of our enemy.

Sisters, it’s okay to admit that you got ahead of God, or made a wrong or poor decision. He knew we were going to do it before we did. Whenever we give into fear we can count on ending up in some sort of mess. Women have married out of fear. I’m afraid to be alone. Soon I’ll be too old to have children. I’m tired of struggling by myself. I will be happier when I have a husband. Fear has motivated people to steal from their friends, family members, employers and their church. Fear is the reason some people are now sitting in jail, but most of all—fear is a huge reason for so much unhappiness in the Body of Christ. When we allow our circumstances to consume us versus the Word of God, fear can become a motivating factor for disaster for sure.

At first it seemed like a blessing from God when I went to the job fair. Initially I was told one thing as far as what my wages would be by the HR person. After going through drug testing and a second interview, as I was signing my paperwork there was a discrepancy of $1.60 per hour. I didn’t agree to the wage and the manger went back to HR and he was told by the HR manager who interviewed me that she did not tell me what I said she did. She advised him she told me I wouldn’t be making that amount. There was the huge red flag. Come on, how many interviews do you go on and you talk about what you are not going to make? Exactly—none! But fear said, “It is so close to the holidays you will never find anything right now.” So, instead of trusting God, I took the job. The next week, I found out it was a union job. Shouldn’t I have been told that before I started working? Yes! But I wasn’t. I could give you a list of other stuff that just continued to go wrong and more deceitfulness, but it would be a waste of good time. The bottom line is, God made it very clear—time to go! No, I had a plan to try to stay to the end of January before I had to pay union dues, but once I made my U-Turn and went back to where I had gone wrong, I had no choice but to do it God’s way.

Please don’t misunderstand me and think that because you have stepped out in faith and things are difficult or hard that you have made a wrong turn, no that is not what I am saying. But if things are really crazy, and you are worst off then when you started, maybe you need to make a U-Turn back to where you were before this all started. Take a hard look at what is going on and how you got there. Did you move ahead of God? Is this a situation you created by your own hands or is this what God has for you?

There are many struggles and difficulties in life that we have no control over, but there are also struggles and hardships that we are the inventors of. Either way we serve a mighty God and His mercy and grace are abundant and ever flowing for us.

Fear is the author of many a sad story, but as a writer the one thing I know for sure—stories can be rewritten. So, my dear sisters, if you are in a not so good place because of fear, make a U-Turn because unlike the driving laws of this world where you might see the sign “No U-Turns” in the Kingdom of God that is never the case! God is right where you left Him. He is our ever present help in our times of need…even when we messed up and created the need!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Smile When Your Heart Is Breaking

Charlie Chaplin wrote “Smile” in 1936….Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

And back in the 80’s Melissa Manchester had a top hit called “Don’t Cry Out Loud!” the chorus goes….Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
Learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all...

There was a time in my life I believed Melissa Manchester when she sang “Don’t Cry Out Loud!” Why? Because I felt my sadness really didn’t matter to anyone and as a woman in my late 20’s and early 30’s I just needed to suck it up and move on. That’s what mature women do. It wasn’t until I started attending Women’s Bible study I began to think—just maybe it was important to God and someone else. And the reason it was a maybe at the beginning, was because it seemed all the women around me were so happy and wonderfully engaged in the Lord. Deep down, I felt I was the only one struggling in my soul. On one hand it was a little disheartening, because again everyone else gets it except me. I later learned the truth about many of my sisters, they weren’t getting it either, they were just faking it.

They knew the lingo, “Greetings sister how are you?” “I’m blessed and highly favored!” Sounds good, but often they didn’t believe the words they were saying, because their marriage was falling apart or the sin in their lives was wreaking havoc. Some had just secretly had a miscarriage or abortion. Others were depressed with life in general and felt God didn’t love them as much as He did others. They viewed their lives in a way it seemed they were always behind and playing catch up, when everyone else got to do and go where they wanted. Bottom line—they were afraid if they said they were not doing well, or they are discouraged and feel no one cares, (not even God) people would judge them. You know, “How can she sit and listen to the Word being preached each Sunday and not have faith?” Those kinds of judgments we are so good at handing out and pronouncing over others.

The saddest part of all of this to me is that—faking it—is more prevalent than ever before.

We are instructed to encourage one another in the hard times as God has encouraged us. Well, how can we be encouraged if we are painting smiles on our faces when our hearts are breaking? We can’t and therefore we have a big problem in the Body of Christ. Our enemy has tricked us into keeping our pain inside (which is another way of isolating us) it gives him free reign to tear us down emotionally and spiritually.

A couple of weeks ago, I called my mentor early one morning and cried like a baby over the phone. I was discouraged in a way I haven’t been in a long time. Emotionally I was beginning to feel hopeless in my life, spiritually I felt weak and starting to doubt God and physically my body was breaking down! I was a wreck!

I had been crying close to an hour before I called her. Instead of feeling better (which often a good cry does) I felt worst. I couldn’t stop crying for longer than 30 or 45 seconds. It was as if my crying triggered a landslide of emotions that were overtaking me—I needed help!!!

She listened attentively until I finished pouring out my heart. And knowing her she was praying the entire time I was talking, which gave her the wisdom and godly words to help encourage me. We have known each other many years which means she knows me pretty well. Therefore she was able to give it to me straight without fear of me becoming angry or upset with her because she is speaking the truth in love.

We looked at my situation according to what scripture had to say and who God is. (If we are going to judge ourselves, our lives or actions…it is best to use the Bible as our measuring stick)  I was able to see where I had allowed fear to push me into making a poor decision, and the ripple effect it was having on me. And I knew I had to go back to the place before I’d stopped trusting and waiting on the Lord. We ended our conversation with her praying for me and women in the Body. I was able to go to work and for the first time in weeks had a lighter spirit.

Sisters, it’s time to stop pretending we are okay when we are not. We need to be encouraged and encouraging others. I’m not saying tell everyone your business and use Facebook as a place to air your dirty laundry—No! But I am saying we must be real when we are struggling, so we can find help in our sisters. If, the joy of the Lord is our strength, and we are joyless, what does that make us?

Do not let fear or shame keep you quiet and suffering in silence. If you are struggling to believe God and your faith is wavering, you need the courage, love, understanding and encouragement of others to see you through.

In next week’s blog “When We Need to Make a U-Turn” I am going to continue to talk about my current situation—hoping you will be encouraged that though life may seem hopeless at times—in Christ, it never really is!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Our Prayers

What is the end result of a good personal prayer life? And by good, I’m using it as an adjective—healthy, fine, sound, tip-top, fit, robust, sturdy, strong, vigorous, fine, superior, and quality. So again, I ask, “What is the end result of a good prayer life?” Please take a moment to think about this question before you move on.

A good personal prayer life gives us confidence needed to follow Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. It also increases our faith in God. It becomes a place of refuge and comfort. It’s where we can cry and pour our souls out, knowing God hears and cares, but most of all it is a place where we spend time listening and hearing from God. Now, I have another question for you—why is it then that we so often invite others to pray for things we should be praying for ourselves?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying we should not ask for prayer from others, but I do want to take a look at how we can misuse and abuse the privilege of prayer.

Facebook has become a place where people are constantly asking their friends and family to pray for things that often just don’t make sense. And this has caused me to wonder if we really understand our privilege of being able to come to the throne and talk to our Father ourselves?

There are times in our lives when we desperately need others to pray for us and lift us up, because we are struggling to do so for ourselves. We can become so discouraged in life to the point we feel hopeless and or want to give up. Yes!! We need others to stand in the gap and pray for us and with us. But that doesn’t mean we should keep requesting prayer at the drop of a hat for any and everything.

Around Thanksgiving a Facebook friend posted her daughter was missing and requested prayer. Of course I prayed for her daughter’s safety, but I mainly prayed for my friend. As a mother I could not imagine what she was going through as each passing day went by and she did not know if her daughter was safe or alive. That was serious business, and I am happy to report she was found several days later!

A couple of months ago a missionary friend’s 11 year old adopted daughter was kidnapped. A call was put out for prayer and I even requested privately for some of my friends (who are mothers and grandmothers) to please join in praying for the family and this little girl. Child slavery is big in the country they are in and girls are taken every day and sold to men. But God blessed with a miracle and they got her back! This was huge.

But when I see constant request to pray for people’s animals, or because their child isn’t feeling well today and had to stay home from school, I’ve found myself a little perturbed. Why? Because we should be able to lay hands on our children and pray and speak healing over them when they don’t feel well. And the same if your animal is not feeling well. People also post on Facebook, requesting prayers for their pastor or church congregation. No, no, no, no!! You should be the one praying and maybe fasting for your pastor or congregation. Truthfully, what is someone who does not know this person really supposed to pray? Why do we not realize that prayer is relational and not a quick fix or magic wand just because we have enlisted others?

Often when we are looking for work and we have a job interview we enlist as many people as we know to please pray we get the job. That used to make sense to me, but it doesn’t anymore because, suppose it is not God’s will you take that job? And many times that is the case and then we’ve wasted time asking God for something that wasn’t going to happen. I now prayer for the person and lift them up because we can become discouraged as we wait upon the Lord and His timing for us.

Sisters, never hesitate to ask for prayer, but do stop and think before throwing out requests that are your responsibility. No one can pray for your husband, children, pastor or church like you can—that is your responsibility. Take the time it takes you to write on Facebook or call others to ask them to pray, and try praying yourself. We have to get to the point in our lives we are confident God hears us.  And know just because we have enlisted 100 others to pray with us, it still doesn’t mean we can persuade God to do something that He is not. His will be done and that often doesn’t translate into giving us what we want or how we want it.

I am grateful I have grown to where I no longer become agitated by the constant Facebook prayer request that should not be, and now spend time praying for the person making the request. It’s all about growing up girls, and we are coming into some difficult times and it is important that we will able to stand and have our own confidence and relationship with God. It is good to have others pray for you and with you—but we better know how to do it on our own too!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Sometimes You Just Have to Walk It Through

There are times in life when we just have to go through the process—there are no shortcuts to be had. And for some, this is a hard pill to swallow, but nonetheless it is a part of living.

Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way. Psalm 23:4 (TLB)

The 23^rd Psalm is probably one of the most quoted scriptures from the Bible. People who know hardly anything about the Bible can recite the 23^rd Psalm. In some ways this is good, but in other ways it may not be. And I say that because to recite or memorize something doesn’t mean we have really thought about what we are saying—often it is just making the brain retain words so we can recite them. Which is what I believe has happened with the use of the 23^rd Psalm.

The New King James translation says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” which is little more familiar to us.
 
David experienced God and understood the responsibility of a shepherd at a young age. He understood their main focus was to protect and direct the sheep to safety, no matter what the circumstances the shepherd was always there guarding and guiding them. He himself shepherded his father’s sheep. He had fought a lion and bear to keep them safe and from harm, putting his own life on the line for the safety of the flock. So, he really did understand how it worked and had a deep confidence in God and what He could and would do. And the truth is—so should many of us. No, we have never shepherded a flock of sheep before, but, we have experienced God’s greatness in our lives—yet we struggle when we must “walk through”!

It is very easy to say, “Yes though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid,” but it is a totally different story to believe it and act on it. There lies the problem for us.

There are trials and tribulations we must experience—just because. That’s right—just because. It could be just because we need to mature in our spiritual life, or maybe we need to be a good witness to someone else. Look at all that Joseph went through so the 12 tribes of Israel would survive. What about Job? And then there are the situations we have created for ourselves—the poor choices and decisions which have altered our lives. We can also go through hard times because of the actions and choices of others, such as our children, spouses, friends and family. Jesus never promised a life of roses to any of us, in fact He assured us there would be trials and tribulations, but we are to be of a good cheer (or keep our joy) for He has overcome the world.

Lately, I see so many unhappy, sad, joyless and complaining women in the Body of Christ, and this leads me to believe that though we can recite the 23rd Psalm, do we really believe what it says?

I am personally going “through” a difficult time in my own life. There are days I just want to give up! There are days, I sit down and cry about things. But, I can’t give up and I don’t spend but so much time crying because I have purposed to spend most of my energy, trusting God through it all. It is a battle of the mind, will, and flesh to trust God in the valley of the shadow of death. It is not an easy fate at all, so don’t think I have the 8 steps to make it easy, because I don’t! But I do know we can get to the point in our spiritual lives where we are not so afraid of what’s to come. We can have peace and joy in the midst of the darkness as we walk through whatever our shadow of darkness is, if we fight the good fight of the faith (complete Jewish Bible) to trust God in the process.

To whine and complain all the time shows a lack of maturity, because that is what babies and toddlers do. But! There is a time to put away childish things. Problem is, some of us have stunted growth and seem to be stuck. We are so overcome with disappointment we are unable to move through to the other side. We are having a hard time taking our eyes off our circumstances, and feel hopeless and lost most days. We struggle to appreciate anything in life because we are consumed with our own grief and sadness.

Yesterday while walking to work, I found myself thinking about my job in the negative (there was a mess of a battle going on in my mind) and I had to force myself to start thanking God! I thought about the people who would gladly switch places with me, if only to have two good legs to walk. I have friends who are blind, and surely they would love to see with the two eyes I have. I remembered a couple of years ago how I had lost my sense of smell and taste for 8 days and I thanked Him for being able to enjoy certain aromas and taste my food. There is always something to be grateful for no matter what we are experiencing at the time.

Sisters, no matter what your “valley of darkness” is today, if you work on “trusting” God, you will not be so fearful. You will not be sad and feel so helpless. But you must work at it.

There are 2 different books I would like to suggest for reading.

1. Secret Longings of the Heart, Overcoming deep Disappointment and Unfulfilled Expectations, by Carol Kent. If you are having a hard time moving forward because of a deep disappointment or great unfulfilled expectations, this will be a good book for you. But I warn you—you must be serious about making change if you get into this book. It also has a 12 week bible study to help you through the process.

2. The Battle Field of the Mind, by Joyce Meyer. This is a very practical book to help us understand how harmful our thoughts are to our spiritual wellbeing and faith. Joyce gives great insight to help us learn how to change our thought process and how beneficial it will be.

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

CONTAGIOUS

When we hear that something is “contagious” it is generally used in a medial sense, for germs, viruses and such, but today I want to look at it in the “emotional” state of being. Contagious: adj. of an emotion, feeling, or attitude, likely to spread to and affect others.

Each year when it is cold and flu season rolls around, we are reminded to wash our hand frequently, take vitamin C, stay home when we are not feeling well so we won’t spread our germs to others, get plenty of sleep, eat well and get our flu shots to try our best to stay healthy. But when it comes to our spiritual wellbeing and things that are contagious, we are not always as diligent to protect ourselves as we should be.

Did you know that being around a complainer all the time will rub off on you? Yes it does! And I know that some of you know exactly what I’m talking about because you might be married to one, or have parents, relatives or close friends who are. Also, we can’t forget—you yourself might be a complainer or “Debbie Downer!” Negativity is contagious no matter how it is dished up.

I have a relative who constantly talks about what ails them every time we speak. They’re a Believer, but when it comes to healing they’d rather talk “sickness”! Sad to say, I don’t call them often, because I’ve found after several minutes of listening to them, my spirit starts to feel heavy. No matter how much I try to change the subject or encourage them, they always bring it back to “woe is me!” Some people like being where they are even if it is not a good place. It is what they are used to and truthfully become very comfortable with. It has taken me awhile to get this, but I protect myself from people who really don’t want to grow, make change and or love being miserable. It is not good for me—it is a contagious negative. But on the other hand, faith is also contagious and so is laughter, kindness, joy, love and a slew of other great things all Believers have access too, if we desire.

It is important to work on staying spiritually healthy and strong as much as the physical. Just as we should frequently wash our hands, we should frequently talk about what the Word of God has to say with other Believers. Medically we are encouraged to take daily vitamins to help supplement nutrients our body needs, spiritually we should make sure to have a daily dose of Bible reading, meditation and prayer. We dress warmly to protect ourselves from the cold—we should also surround ourselves with people who are positive and strong in the things of our Lord, to help protect our hearts and mind.

We often hear, “I caught a cold!” But truth be told, no one goes around trying to catch a cold—it comes after you! And we start to fight it off at the first signs, with either over the counter meds or natural remedies. Either way, we do what we can not to let it consume and overtake us. But the best scenario is preventive measures.

Of course in many cases as a single woman it is easier for me to distance myself from a negative contagion versus someone who is married to such a person or has to live with someone who falls in this category. That is why it is so important to cultivate friendships with people who can encourage you, are fun to be with and make you laugh. We need people in our lives that help to lift us up and we feel better after talking to them or hanging out with them. It’s a good feeling when someone starts laughing so hard they can’t tell the story of why they are laughing, yet it becomes contagious and before you know it—you’re laughing with them even though you don’t know why.

Dear sisters, I know each person’s life has its own unique circumstances and we must exercise godly wisdom in how we deal with people—but there are situations in which we just need to make the decision to make change in our circle of people—because they are toxic and what they have to offer is very contagious.

With the New Year quickly approaching many of us will soon be on a new health kick, but don’t forget—our emotional and mental health is very, very important. It can affect our physical health in many ways. Just as we try our best to put distance between someone who is sneezing and coughing all over the place so that we don’t become sick—we should be as wise for our spiritual wellbeing too. Amen!

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NKJ)

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

What If?

The “What if’s” of life can be positive or they can be negative. When we live a life of regret and what if I had only done so and so—that is not profitable for us. But when we think about “what if” in the sense of making change or setting goals—it can be a good.

Today’s blog is to challenge Believers to think about change and what impact we could make in the Kingdom of God, if we would not be so stiffed necked and steeped in a tradition that really is not so much about Christ as people try to put on.

What if all Christ followers celebrated His birth by giving to Him instead of each other? What if we took all the monies we usually spend buying a bunch of gifts and used that money to advance the Kingdom of God? What kind of impact do you think we would have?

What if we gave so Bibles could be distributed in different languages across the world? What if we gave to missionary families who spend every day spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ and showing His love to others through hard work? What if we helped the children of those who are incarcerated for more than one day? What if we helped a single mom get on her feet, and not just bombard her kids with toys for one day and walk away—but helped and supported them for one year? What if we helped an elderly couple, by making repairs to a home they can no longer afford to do yearly maintenance on? What if we sent money to support elderly Russian Jews who need heat and food for the winter?

What if…we stopped whining about people saying “Happy Holidays, versus Merry Christmas” and really make Christmas about Christ ourselves? How about if we stayed home on Thanksgiving Day so others could be home with their families and retail stores would not make the money they want and therefore stop opening and demanding employees work or lose their jobs? How about we will not stand outside Walmart, (or any other store) in the wee hours of the morning running people down as if we were running with the bulls? What if we no longer supported greedy retailers and came together in one mind and did Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV) during this holiday season versus blend in and look like the world?

I have a huge question that pastors seems to shy away from--why are we so hard pressed to find a church open on Christmas morning if it doesn’t fall on a Sunday? Why is that?

It makes us feel good to give toys and coats to children during the holiday season, but what about the other 364 days of the year? We think we have really done something when we give a single mom a frozen turkey and some trimmings to go along with it, but fail to make sure her gas is on so she can cook it. Yes, this has happened.

Truth is—if God wanted us to celebrate the birth of our Messiah, He would have instructed us to do so. And if we study we will find his birth was probably during the feast of Sukkot a Jewish holiday which comes in September or October each year depending on the Jewish calendar.

In some ways we are like the Pharisees when it comes to our Christmas traditions. Jesus was not pleased with them and rebuked them for their traditions. For the past several years I have wondered how pleased He is with us and our Christmas celebrations.

The suicide rate (year-after-year) is at its highest during the Christmas season? So, when we think about it, can this really be something God has sanctioned? Christ died for all on the Cross, so why would God sanction a holiday or time that brings such sadness and heartache to others?

Food For Thought: What if every adult you usually share Thanksgiving Day with had to work except you? What do you think that would feel like? What if the usual volunteers at the soup kitchens and homeless shelters who serve and prepare Thanksgiving dinner all had to work on the day before Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Day and the entire weekend after? What do you think that would look like and feel to those who were shut out?

We as Believers should not be selfish when it comes to others—we are to be selfless. Forget about our Black Friday traditions and start thinking about others. Why are we so caught up in the way of this world, when we are cautioned not to be!

I really do wonder what progress would be made in the Kingdom of God if we did something extraordinarily different this Christmas and everyone thereafter.

My prayer is that you will at least think about what I have said today and maybe even begin to make changes in the way you celebrate Christmas to make it more about the Kingdom and Christ then traditions that really are not about the Kingdom. Amen!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Fifty is the New Thirty Five…Not!

1Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) ³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

The following paragraph is an except from an online article in Today Health, by Diane Mapes (Sept. 15, 2013), "America’s Favorite age? “It’s 50 New Poll Says"…inspired me to write today’s blog.

Barbara Beck Holstein is a psychologist from Long Branch, NJ is quoted in the article as saying, “I really think 50 is the new 30 to 35. For women, you can stay stylish and fit and maybe get your hair dyed or just do a little [cosmetic] tune-up and feel, “Wow this is great.”  I say, “Lies, lies, don’t believe a word they say!” Yeah, that used to be a jingle to a dog food commercial. ~Smile~

Ladies, 50 is 50. No it is not the fifty of our mother’s generation, we are more youthful and active then the average women who was 50 in the 60’s, 70’ and early 80’s. But it is no way, the 30 or 35 of any era…okay!! And yes, it is more common place to color our hair, wear makeup and have stylish hairdos and be more fashionable. But the average woman does not have cosmetic tune-ups and from what I see, many who have should have stopped a long time ago. When do cosmetic tune-ups cross over to vanity or obsession? Even a very well known sister-in-Christ has been tuning it up for years. From the beginning she was very open about her work with us. Her tune-up didn’t alter her appearance other than she looked refreshed and well rested. But it seems even she has been to the well a few to many times, because now her face is stiff and you wonder when you see her on TV…“What happened?” because she no longer has a natural and relaxed look about her.

What has happened with ageing gracefully? Did God’s Word change in some way or is it just that even the daughters of the King are buying way too much into the world’s hype and definition of what beauty is? I must say…it is the latter!

Sarah was 65 years of age when this happened…Genesis 12:11-13 (NIV) As he (Abram) was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. ¹² When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. ¹³ Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” It would reason that girlfriend must have been gorgeous for the Egyptians to want to kill Abraham so they could take her. Do you think her good looks were the result of her latest chin lift or Botox injection? No! I would be inclined to think it was because she didn’t smoke, and ate a healthy diet. They walked a lot back then and she most likely got plenty of sleep at night, and lived a stress free life for the most part. Oh, and we can’t rule out good genes. But you know what—these are the same things that help us age well today.  

I purposely chose the picture of Dame Judi Dench and Maggie Smith, because to me they are women who are aging gracefully….crows feet and all. They both will turn 79 in December of this year and seem to be having the time of their lives—Botox free!

In the article Holstein also says research shows that as we age, we tend to be less depressed, less anxious and more optimistic than our juniors. And we also become more comfortable with our bodies.

Now for me at age 60, this is pretty much true! But I know too many of my sisters-in-Christ who have yet to get there. It seems more and more, women in the Body suffer from depression and anxiety. They are sad, hopeless and struggle immensely to be comfortable with who they are. Why? I think there are many different reasons, but some of the most obvious to me are—we don’t work hard enough to forgive ourselves for past mistakes and poor decisions, and forgive those who have wronged us,  which makes it almost impossible to accept and love who we are. We ignore that God tells us to cast all our cares upon Him, so we don’t get the sleep and rest we need. And because of a lack of self-love, we are inclined to deem ourselves unworthy.

Personally I have worked hard (and continue) to be where I am in my spiritual walk. I have come from being made to feel (at a very young age) that I was worthless and my life had no meaning and I was a mistake which could only be erased by death; to…I am fearfully and wonderfully made! My self-love didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen!!! So, if it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone in the Kingdom.

Sisters, I pray you have been inspired to love and care for yourselves in a new way the past two weeks. If you are one who feels unloved, I hope you will start the journey of seeing yourself as God does. If you struggle with low self-esteem, I pray you will begin to do little things to pick yourself up and experience how good it feels to be gentle and loving to yourself. If you’re eating habits and weight has been a battle you seem to lose no matter how many times you have tried to do things differently, I hope you are inspired to start again, but taking small steps with a determination to see yourself through the long haul. And if you are one who lives in the past dreaming of being what you were 20 years ago, may you learn to let go and find joy and happiness in the present—you will be so happy that you did!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

Don't Wait to Love Yourself....Love Yourself Now!

By the time this blog is posted we will be in the month of November and well on our way to thinking about Thanksgiving, (for those in the USA), Christmas and the New Year! For many of us instead of the holidays being a joyous season it’s a time of stress loaded with low self-esteem issues.

I pray this blog will encourage you to change the way you view yourself—especially if you are one who struggles with your self-image or health.

Shortly we’ll be bombarded with ads of what we should look like for the holidays, and then before we get a break—all the major weight loss companies and products will be bombarding us with deals to join so we can lose weight and love who we are! Well, sisters, we better start loving who we are today!

Too many of us have made the same New Year’s resolution to lose weight over and over and still find ourselves in the same place, or worst—we have gained more weight. There is an old cliché attributed to Albert Einstein…“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” For some of us, this has become our cycle of life.

Personally I need to get back to a much healthier lifestyle. Does that entail losing weight? Yes it does. But the weight loss cannot be the main focus, making changes (no matter how small) that will become my new way of living is what is important. Loving me from the inside out is what’s most important.

In the next few months we are going to have many different voices trying to sell us gym memberships, exercise equipment, exercise and dance DVD’s, yoga and zumba fitness classes. Well, some of us may not have the money for memberships, classes or equipment. Our food budget may not include fixing meals other than that which the entire family can eat and they are not going on a diet. So, what are we to do? We are to exercise wisdom. We can start now so we don’t get caught up in the whirlwind, of spending or charging money we don’t have for something we will use or do for a month or two.

First we must start by accepting who we are today! That doesn’t mean we stop wanting to make changes for the better, but we cannot continue to put off loving ourselves until, “I lose weight or have more money to spend on me.” That is just an unacceptable mindset in the Kingdom of God!

Start today with something small that won’t cost you a dime! How about swapping out sugary drinks for more water (that includes diet drinks too)? What if you put a play list together of your favorite music and dance (at your pace) for 20 minutes a day? Cutting down portion sizes of what you eat will help, and having a cut off time at night when you stop eating. Begin to limit your sugar intake each day. Walk in the evening after dinner—there are so many little changes we can make that will start us on the road to “healthy” and “self-control”. If you are home most of the day, still put on lipstick and decent clothing—don’t wait until you have somewhere to go. Put on your best perfume just to smell good for yourself. No matter how small the start, it is a beginning and that is all that matters.

Seeking God as to what the problem is and why we are overeating or not satisfied with who we are is a very big part of the process. Is food a self-medication for you? What are the triggers in your life that cause you to eat, or feel bad about yourself? These are some of the hard questions we must ask ourselves and put before the Lord.

Getting to the root cause for sin in our lives is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Why? Because the end result is Freedom! And through Freedom comes acceptance and joy.

One of my BFF’s has lost a lot of weight the past year. In fact in August when she helped move Tovah back to college I complimented her on a new pair of black jeans she was wearing. Well, I saw her recently (almost 3 months later) and she had a belt on to keep the pants up…LOL! She has been a great inspiration to me. How? In the way her focus has been to be healthy and learning new things when it comes to what the body really needs to function and stay healthy.

My friend started posting pictures on Facebook of all these different smoothies she was starting make, and doing vegetable cleanses. She grew veggies, herbs and tomatoes in her garden this summer. But most of all she started training to run in races. And she will tell you herself, the only running she ever planned to do, was run if someone was after her...LOL! She was having trouble sleeping through the night and feeling rested during the day—that is no longer is a problem. Sleep is sweet for her, and she attributes that to eating differently and exercise.

Now, I’m not trying to convince you to run a race, but I am trying to help you see that it is not too late to make changes that will be lasting and profitable in the long term.

The beauty of being a daughter of the Most High God is everything is a custom fit for us as individuals. God will supply all our needs right where we are. You can work out with Him what it is you need to do. Memberships are good for some people because that is how some are wired, but they are not feasible for all of us. All we have to do is stop buying into what the world says we need and should have and focus more on the leading and prompting of the Holy Spirit of God to do that for us. I have two cookbooks

I would like to recommend to you, because they both talk so much about loving yourself, being healthy and yet have two very different approaches, which are both gentle.

The Perfect Recipe for Losing Weight and Eating Great, by Pam Anderson: Pam Anderson is a renowned chef who lost over fifty pounds by making certain changes in her life and has kept the weight off. I love this cookbook because her introduction talks about her journey of being overweight and her feelings…excerpt from the book “My desire to change my life began more than two years before I shed a single pound.” She talks about loving yourself right where you are and then begin to make small changes. This is not a jump in starve yourself kind of book and you will be able to cook good food for you and your family. I give it 5 stars for sure.

The Beauty Detox Foods, by Kimberly Snyder: Kimberly Snyder is one of Hollywood’s top celebrity nutritionists and beauty experts. This is another great book about health and love for oneself. This book is geared more for those who want to make big changes in the things they eat. Her focus is healthy from the inside out and how certain foods change your outward appearance for the better. Kimberly gives a lot of nutritional information that I found to be very encouraging to help me make changes that are very doable for me. And if you have an interest in cleansing and detox drinks and smoothies…this is a great book for you. Another 5 stars!

If we can start making decisions about ourselves today instead of waiting for January 1st, we will be well ahead of the game and will not fall into the same old trap we’ve might have been captive too before. Start being your best friend with a great big dose of self-love!

Until next week, Part II….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

God Sees

Many of you are constantly being good to people, going out of your way to be a blessing, making sacrifices nobody knows about. Nobody may be singing your praises, nobody may be calling your name, but God sees what you’re doing. The scripture says in Matthew 6:4, “Your Father, who sees what you give in secret, will reward you in the open.” ~Joel Osteen~

When January 4, 2013 rolled in and I celebrated my 60th birthday you couldn’t tell me this was not going to be a bang up year and my season!!! Now did the Lord tell me this? No. But in my mind it stood to reason, it was time for me. Well, it hasn’t turned out as I had hoped; in fact it has been harder than the past few years have been with many sacrifices made. In many ways I felt as though I were going backwards versus moving forward. I was beginning to have thoughts that God had somehow forgotten about me—so when I read what Joel had posted on his Facebook page it was as if Lord had him do it just for me. I don’t care about folks singing my praises, but I needed to be reminded of God’s Word and what it had to say about my situation—He Sees!

Living in God’s Kingdom and imitating His MO, (Motive of operation) is not easy. In fact the world’s MO by many standards is much easier. You might go out your way a few times for someone, but then you get to say, “Ah, the heck with you!” You can stop speaking to a sib, parent or relative until Jesus comes back! You can be selfish and self-centered if you choose to. You can have a nasty attitude and tell people off, without regard to their feelings whatsoever. You are allowed to be petty, vindictive, mean and unforgiving. You can mistreat and cheat on your husband if you feel like it. If someone wrongs you, you can cut them out of your life—for good! But not in God’s Kingdom—that just won’t fly!

As Believers we have people in our lives God has put there and we can’t cut them off, (Even though the temptation is there). We are not to be selfish and self-centered. We are to be Christ centered and therefore must care for others, forgive, lend a helping hand, sacrifice our own comfort, time and money. We can’t tell someone off when they have been rude to us. We are required to put away filthy language and speak in love to others even when we feel like smashing them in the face. God’s standard for living in His Kingdom is high, and we must strive to live a life of obedience, and please Him.

At times we can begin to feel, as if we are always giving in and doing more. But do not become discouraged. If you are walking in love and the wisdom of the Lord then no one can really take advantage of you, even if it may seem they are. Yes, people may mistake your kindness as a weakness, but in truth it is one of our greatest strengths. So, therefore their misconception is on them. We may never know the outcome of the seeds we plant along the path of life in following God’s MO—but God does—because He gives the increase.

I believe if we stay focused on “Our Father, who sees what we give in secret” we will not be discouraged as often in our love walk. We won’t be so disillusioned with our husbands and or children. The way we look at our bosses will change and envy will not consume us when we are passed over for a promotion on our jobs or a certain position at church. The temptation to whine and complain will not find victory in our lives. People should see more joy in our lives, even when times are hard or difficult. It should bring us great comfort to know God not only sees all that we do to help others, how hard we work and the sacrifices we make, but that He sees when we are mistreated too. Nothing gets pass Him.

Sisters, keep the Word of God before you. It is our greatest weapon (along with prayer) to living as we should. It gives us hope, peace and a confidence, which equals—the JOY of the Lord!

Special Note: I got the job!! And they didn't even check one reference! Only God can do that...Amen!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love and Hugs
Ponnie

From the Inside Out

While searching for a photo of a confident plus sized woman, this one took my breath away. Because immediately, I could see she feels beautiful, not because of what she has on (a simple black dress) but there is a confidence shinning from the inside out. That was me this past Saturday!

Most of us live in a society where we are bombarded daily with images of stick thin women (who mostly starve themselves to look like that) and these images often translate that if you don’t look like this you are fat or ugly. In other words we are not worthy. The sad thing is, there are way too many of us and our daughters who are buying into this foolishness and we must begin to view ourselves as God does. We must work on loving and embracing ourselves from the inside out.

This past Saturday, I went to a job fair at a retail chain. Leading up to that, my self-esteem had been pretty low, I was battling depression and feelings of hopelessness along with being too old and fat. Key words “was battling”! Because by Saturday morning, I had the victory!!

Of course our enemy gave it one last shot. When the alarm sounded at 6am I woke up to a throbbing sinus headache. That was not good! I lay in bed and prayed and fell back asleep until 7am. I felt better, but still not 100%, so I spent another 15 minutes talking to God about how great He was and thanking him for my impending interview. By 7:15am I was good to go and got up.

I didn’t get to piddle or really enjoy my coffee as I had hoped, (halfway through it was cold) because I had to fill out the application, which by the way I had had for over 2 weeks. Yes, I had skimmed over it and thought to myself, “No problem I'll fill in the information from my résumé.” Hum, it took longer than anticipated. Note to self—don’t ever do that again! Nonetheless I was determined to not be flustered by my own doing, so I forged on.

There was an almost overwhelming confidence radiating from inside that wasn’t there the day before. I realized I was no longer concerned about my age or that the black dress slacks I was wearing were about 7 years old and my brocade blazer was even older. These were things I had struggled not to think about all day Friday. I just keep addressing each issue with what the Word of God had to say about me. And I kept my focus on what God’s favor means and the power it has. And low and behold girls, this was the confidence that was whelming up inside me.

Instead of driving my daughter’s car, I opted to walk and enjoy the beauty of the fall flowers and the changing colors of the leaves. The closer I got to the store the more confident I became. I wasn't concerned if I had to stand in line for hours; I was prepared, able, willing and ready! All in the power of being confident in who I was—a daughter of the Most High God!

I arrived five minutes after it started and got to speak with someone right away. I was hoping to snag one of the seasonal part-time jobs they were offering, but they felt I would be suited to work in the pharmacy as a pharmacy technician. The interviewer felt as though I would be a good fit helping the elderly and sick clientele. God reminded me, He is capable of doing—much more than I had hoped for.

The job is not mine yet, but I made it through the first step, came home and took an online test for them and will have my second interview prayerfully sometime next week.

Sisters (especially my more mature sisters) don’t buy into what the world says is beautiful; embrace with every ounce of your being, what God says is beautiful to Him. When our confidence is in the Lord, we cannot lose! If you are in need of paid work, don’t let the world tell you that you are too old, not attractive enough, or you are lacking because you don’t have a college degree. Don’t listen to the lies—don’t allow the latest fashion trends to dictate how you are going to feel about yourself! It doesn’t matter if you are just getting out of school, are overweight or haven’t worked in years; it is nothing God can’t handle.

How we really feel about ourselves becomes obvious on the outside no matter who you are. I know physically beautiful women who have low self-esteem, and that just goes to show it is not so much about what we look like as much as it is what we think and believe about ourselves. Once we can begin to love who we are from the inside then it will manifest itself on the outside. There will be a great aurora of confidence that people will see and feel. Yes, the confidence of others does rub off on you just as their negativity can.

You are worthy because God says you are, not because of anything you have done. We are privileged because Jesus died so we would be. We just need to work on living the royal life we are entitled to from the inside out!

1Peter 3:3-4 (NIV) "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Favor Makes the Impossible Happen

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had to fiercely battle depression, despair, hopelessness, low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and the feelings of being useless. Is any of this true if we are a child of God? Absolutely not! But it doesn’t mean that emotionally we cannot be overtaken  by our feelings if we give into the temptation to do so. I have lived long enough and walked long enough with the Lord to know it was not an option for me to give in, so that meant I had to fight. And truthfully, it has not been an easy battle—it went on for a few days.

I grew up in a household of physical and emotional abuse. From as far back as I can remember, I was told I was “nothing” and would never amount to “anything”. I was raised to believe I was useless and one of the biggest mistakes God every made. As a young woman I made poor choices based on looking for love in all the wrong places. For many years I was a people pleaser, trying to be accepted and appreciated. But nothing I did ever worked out for any length of time. There were many years as a young girl; I would lie in my bed thinking of ways to either kill my mother or myself. As a woman, suicidal thoughts often pledged me when life seemed too hard or I experienced another devastating disappointment. But the good news is…Jesus changed all of that!

After Jesus became Lord and Master of my life, I have never, ever, had another suicidal thought in my life. I no longer had to deal with that particular aspect of depression again. Does that make me more special than anyone else? Of course not! God seems to fix certain things immediately for all of us once we enter into His Kingdom. He knows what we need individually to be set free of so we can move on and grow. I remember being asked in women’s Bible study to name something God healed me of or did for me without me asking. I remember answering, “He healed my night blindness and my bad feet!” At the time I was a babe and had yet to realize the spirit of “suicide” no longer had rule over me.

My night blindness hindered me from going to Bible Study once time changed and it was dark driving home. God healed me on the night I had to drive in sleet and ice to the hospital to say good-bye to my mother—she had passed and was going to be cremated. I prayed so hard all the way, because I could barely see in front of me. But halfway there all that changed and I could see everything! That was over 23 years ago and I am still healed. I had an operation on both my feet when I was 22 years old, but the end result was not what I had hoped for, and often I was in pain. One day my feet stopped hurting and that was the end of that! As for the spirit of suicide leaving—when I look back, I believe it happened the same moment the Holy Spirit moved in.

Now as for the many other things in my life I needed to be healed of and delivered from, it has been a work in progress and still is. It was not until my fifties I truly forgave my mother. It has taken many years for me to agree with God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my self-esteem lies in Him—and not in how I look, what I wear or what others think of me. As the old Virginia Slims cigarette commercial used to say, “You’ve come a long way baby!” So, I was more than a little surprised when it seemed the flood gates of hell opened up and, depression, despair, hopelessness, low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and the feelings of being useless showed up all together and bringing a few friends to boot!

Praying was hard, so I ran to my sisters-in-Christ because I knew I didn’t have to pretend to be strong, when I was feeling so sad. We talked, I cried and we talked some more, until I was encouraged to remember who I belong to and what that means. (See August 16th blog, “Collective Wisdom”)

At the age of 60 and looking for temporary work, is not as easy as it used to be. For one, I’m of the generation where you had an opportunity to present yourself in person. Now it is look on line. The more I tried adapting to the world’s new way of doing things, the less confident and hopeful I felt. Why was that? I had become distracted and was forgetting that all I need is—God’s Favor!!!

There is a place of business I had hoped to find seasonal work at for the past 2 weeks, (they were only hiring for managers) but Saturday they are holding walk-in interviews. I will be there bright and early looking for God’s “Favor”! Does this guarantee I will be hired? Nope, because this may not be where God wants me, (I do have other irons in the fire) but I will still go remembering who my Father is, and what He is capable of doing.

Sisters, if things are looking hopeless, just remember God’s favor can open doors and make things happen when there seems to be no way!

Proverbs 3: 3-4 (NIV) 3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

We Need an Unshakable Confidence

The weekly blogs are usually written a couple of weeks in advance, but for those of us living in the United States, which is entering its 11th day of a government shutdown, I wanted to write something current to encourage us through these parlous times. Monday a dear friend sent me an email to encourage me, which I didn’t get to read until this morning (Thursday)…what a blessing and great reminder of what we need to do.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.” (Hebrews 10:35, NIV)

Unshakable Confidence…When God places a promise in your heart; you have to come to the place where you believe it’s going to happen so strongly that nothing can talk you out of it. It may seem impossible. All the circumstances may tell you that it’s not going to happen, but deep down you have to have this confidence, this knowing, that God is still on the throne. He is bigger than any obstacle. He already has a way, and at the exact time, what He promised will come to pass. You have this unshakeable confidence. You know that God is fighting your battles, arranging things in your favor, making a way even when you don’t see a way.

Instead of being discouraged, you get up in the morning thanking God that the answer is on the way. Instead of talking about how big the problem is, you go through the day talking about how big your God is. Your mind is set in one direction: victory, favor, healing, and restoration. It may be taking a long time, but God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. You’ve seen Him do it in the past, and you know He will do it again in the future. You are fully persuaded because when you know your God, you have unshakeable confidence! by Joel & Victoria Osteen

Sisters I know some of you are going through some very trying times at the moment, and you are not alone—I also find myself in a place of having no income. I’ve been here once before, a little over 21 years ago. Is it scary? Yes, to say the least. And it has been a great struggle to stay in the present praising God for what I have and how all my needs are being met today. My heart and soul want to look at tomorrow, (as if there is anything we can do about tomorrow) through eyes of hopelessness. I live with my oldest daughter and her children. You might think, well, you’re okay—but not really. I am a burden to her, and that doesn’t make me feel good at all. And my youngest daughter is a college junior.

Looking into tomorrow or next week or the week after looks dim and frightening based on current, trials, tribulations or tests we may be experiencing. Because we find ourselves having to contend with questions such as: How will I make it? What if I lose everything? Supposed I’m not healed and my medical coverage runs out? This is why; looking ahead based on today’s circumstances is not good for us, nor does Jesus recommend it. Reason being, we do not have a clue as to what tomorrow will bring and today has enough in it to deal with. Truth is all we need is one word from God, to change everything around. That could be our government getting their act together so that people are called back to work, or those working without pay will see a check for their efforts. All veterans and those on disabilities and social security will receive their monies on time, and all unemployment benefits received as expected. The next doctor’s report says, your cancer is gone! For me and all the others looking for work, it could mean that phone call, “Your Hired!” or it could be that we must continue to wait a little longer. But the more we strive to live in “today” and not worry about tomorrow, the better off we are.

I have seen hard times before, so this is nothing new, but at 60, the world and others say, “You’re too old and useless for work.” But Jesus says, “Have faith in God!” Who do I choose to believe? Jesus!! God has made a promise to me and He has also told me something about my upcoming season in life and it looks nothing like what I see today. So, what does that mean? It means? “Instead of being discouraged, "I’m going to get up in the morning thanking God—the answer is on the way. Instead of talking about how big my problem is, I’ll go through the day talking about how big my God is. I am setting my mind in one direction: victory, favor, healing, and restoration” Amen!!

Be encouraged my dear sisters that God is near and hears your cries. You may be facing losing your house or eviction from your apartment. In a few days your utilities might be cut off or you are having a hard time feeding your family. It may seem that your healing is never coming, or your marriage is never going to be mended. You look around and see others seeming to prosper when you are going backwards and it hurts and causes you to question God’s love for you. Well, don’t give into those feelings—rebuke them with every being that you have! Do not roll up in a ball of despair, instead get up and praise God! Listen to the godly wisdom of Joel and Victoria. Read your Bibles and hold on for dear life! Amen!

Today I did a little something different with the song of the week, because I want you to get up and dance….enjoy!!!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie