What The Heck Is Going On?

I’m writing this on Monday, December 17, 2012……Eight days before Christmas, 18 days before my 60th birthday and 3 days after the horrific massacre at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, USA. Emotionally I was numb this morning (spent an entire weekend of watching news reports on the 26 killed on Friday) and my spirits were low, to the point that I’ve removed myself from Facebook for awhile. Why….

….It seems that we had just gotten a reprieve from the great divide of the American Presidential race. And now here we go again. Should we have guns? Do our teachers need to be packing? Should we have armed guards in our schools? Should Congress finally stand up to the NRA? Do we as individuals need assault weapons to protect our homes? God has given most of us the ability to form opinions, but it seem of late that is all the “Church” is about….Opinions! We talk a lot, post a lot but it seems we are falling so short of what we should really be doing.

I spent most of last night and today thinking about life and talking to God about things. I realize that I have been becoming increasingly disgruntled with the celebration of Christmas over the past few years. The reason being, it really has so little to do with Christ anymore. To begin with it is not the date He was born; it is something that man came up with….not God. And as the world moves further and further away from God, the less Christmas looks like anything that pleases Him or Jesus. If Christmas Day doesn’t fall on a Sunday you are hard pressed to find a church open, yet we say it is a Christian celebration. Churches have toy drives for the less fortunate kids, but after Christmas we go about our merry way. It boils down to the fact that we are not showing the world Jesus on a daily bases…just at made up Christmas time.

We now find ourselves in the great debate about….if only Prayer was back in schools! Allowing prayer back in the schools I don’t think will make a big difference. Why? Because I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says the public school system is to teach people about Christ. We act as if satan and Madalyn Murray O'Hair have outwitted God! That’s insane…if we were to spend as much time reading our Bibles as we spend on Facebook…we would know better than that. And the real truth about prayer is no one can stop a Christian from praying! No, not really! You may not be able to pray out loud, but so what! We can pray whenever and wherever we want! Who can really stop us? Who really knows? So every Christian who works in a public school should be standing in the gap for that school anyway. Every Christian parent who has a child attending public school should be praying for that school every day. Teachers should be coming in early to pray for their classes and calling each student by name. Who can stop that? No one…that’s who!

The Bible does tell us that we are to help people all the time, and show them the love of Christ every day by the way we live. So instead of toy drives why not be a haven for children after school, helping them with their homework, feeding them supper so that hungry kids will be fed. Why is it we just adopt a family for Christmas, and not the entire year to make sure their needs are being met and show them what Christ looks like on a daily bases? Gaining access to witness and share the gospel with them.

Christmas to me has become a “Holiday” that is all about greed, covetousness and money…even for Christians. We get upset because people say, “Happy Holidays versus Merry Christmas!” but why? So many Christians are no different than the world when it comes to celebrating Christmas. We lie and tell our children that Santa Claus is bringing them gifts, instead of teaching them that God has blessed and given us the means to buy them, we go into debt to buy gifts, (but will not tithe) we become selfish and self-centered about what we want and what we think our kids should have. Why? What does any of this have to do with celebrating the birth of our Messiah? How are we showing the world the grace of God and the love of Christ when we are in the crowds on Thanksgiving Day or Black Friday that are running people down to get a deal on a TV or computer? Of course this is not all Christians, but it is way too many to count. I’m really talking about Americans here.

Sisters I am sad today as I look at the world and the things that are going on because it seems the Church is asleep and we are not seeing the signs. I say this because so many who say they are Believers seem not to be living in ways that will convenience those who are lost and need to be evangelized. The Church wants to fight about things that really don’t amount to a hill of beans versus that which will be pleasing unto the Lord and bring change to a dying and lost world.

That is the bad news; but the good news is that Jesus has told us to be of a good cheer for He has overcome the world. I know that God is faithful and though I am sad today, I still have great hope in my heart for tomorrow, because I know God is already there.

I pray that I have maybe provoked you to think about this Christmas season and what it really means to the Kingdom of God, (not you) and to take a good look at your everyday life…what does it look like to your family, coworkers, neighbors, people in the supermarket, the teller at your bank or the stranger you met, and especially those on Facebook? Do you look like Christ to them or do you blend in so much you look like the world?

We have moved into the realm of where man is a lover himself and not God. Those who live in the darkness of the world, I understand, but for those in the Church….I find it very distressful. Time is drawing near; it is time to be very serious about the business of the Lord. Not manmade nonsense, but that which God has said is His business.

Look for a blog next week, until then….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

The Gift of Love

Love is a gift that can be freely given or ladled with stipulations. Well, true love (God’s love) is “unconditional” which translates into the ultimate free gift. As Believers we strive to love like God, but often fail because of the human side of our flesh, but still, we should keep striving to come as close as we can. And today I would like to look at lavishing ourselves with unconditional love and respect.

As a mother if the doctor were to tell me that I needed to make lifestyle changes for my children (when they were younger) or they would not live to see adulthood, that would have been all they had to say. I would have done whatever was needed! Why? Because of my great love and desire for them to grow up healthy and strong, to become all they could be. Yet how come I haven’t loved me enough to make changes in my life, so that I am healthy, strong and all that I can be? That’s a good question!

My family health history doesn’t read as well as I would like it too. I can’t say we have a lineage of good genes and we live well into our 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. No, there is a curse of diabetes, congestive heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and several deaths from the complications of diabetes, including amputations and blindness. So, why have I been so lackadaisical about getting my cholesterol and blood pressure under control? How come I’ve allowed myself to put back on weight I had lost, knowing it affects my health and leads to all the above mentioned problems? I guess I could write about several underlined reasons, but the bottom line is—I really haven’t been lavishing myself with love. And I say that because when we really love someone, we desire the very best for them. We bend over backwards to make sure they have the things they need, no matter what the sacrifices. Well, I can’t say I have been acting that way in totality concerning myself.

The great thing about realizing you have a problem or there’s a problem, is that you are now able to deal with it. I have a problem of not caring for myself as I should and though I know my days are numbered, I now want to live them the best that I can. If God allows, I will turn 60 in January 2013. And one thing I’ve noticed is people who live to be in their 70’s, 80’ and 90’s that are able to get around and enjoy life are not 50 to 60 pounds overweight.

Well, my dear sisters if you remember Jennifer and I did a two part blog on February 13th and February 14th about loving yourself, and I now have an addition to mine. I now love me enough to do what I need to do in order to be strong and healthy!

I am starting the journey to becoming a vegan. Yup, getting rid of animal dairy products and all things that add to my high cholesterol. Now, I’m not jumping out there and throwing everything out and declaring “I am now a vegan!” Nope, can’t do it like that. The beauty of being 59 is that I know myself pretty well and I know I have to transition into this new lifestyle. But I’m still very excited about it though.

Very soon (I hope by next week) I will launch a Food Blog to journal my journey. I want to share how I’m doing and load it up with new ways to cook and plenty of pictures of things I cook and enjoy. There are two major reasons for the blog, one is to encourage other women, (especially African American women my age) that huge lifestyle changes are possible even when you’re older, and secondly accountability for myself. The reason I’m targeting African American women is we are very unhealthy compared to our Caucasian counterparts. We have a higher rate of diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and heart disease. And let’s not forget being overweight. But I also have Caucasian friends who fall into the same category, so it really is for all women.

I’ve been praying everyday about this because I know I can only achieve my goals with God’s help. So, I’m relying on the fact that I can do all things through Christ who is my strength!!

Sisters, I hope some of you will follow my vegan blog if for no other reason than to encourage me, but I do pray that you might be encourage to make changes in your life if needed. Not saying you will become a vegan, but maybe just start exercising more, and making healthier choices when it comes to what you eat and how much.

I don’t have a name yet for the blog and I am open to suggestions. Please write me at PonnieCousins@yahoo.com if you have an idea for a name.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

Some Days I Just Want to Scream!

Yesterday I was watching an episode of “Restaurant Impossible”. It’s a TV show on Food Network, where Robert Ervine goes into failing restaurants and turns them around in 2 days. He’s like a drill sergeant to say the least but I love how it all comes together in the end. Well, in yesterday’s show he had one of the family members (who everyone said had a horrible attitude and was mean to the employees) throw rocks and scream about the injustices she felt she has had to endure over the years, including the sudden death of her son at 23. Then he had her run around the field proclaiming how she was going to change. That part was a little humorous, but when she was throwing the rocks at a target he had set up, it made me think of the times I wish I had a field to throw rocks and scream in.

I don’t know about any of you, but there have been times in my life when I have wanted to just scream my head off, fall to my knees and pound the ground and get it all off my chest. I really do believe that if I had been able to express my anger and frustration openly at times, life would have been much better. You might be shaking your heads by now, but how often have we had to work through emotional pain bit-by-bit, keeping on a strong face? Probably more often than we would like to admit.

As a single mom, are you really free to stand up and scream your head off when you feel overwhelmed and hopeless? Nope. What would your children think? Especially if they are young, it would frighten them. No, we can’t do that. The best we have is a good cry in the shower where no one will hear. Can you openly show your children how much pain you are in as you mourn the breakup of your marriage? Again, no! Why? Because you must be strong to help them mourn the loss of what family life used to be for them.

There are many life experiences that can make you want to scream until you are tired…death of a loved one, teenaged children, an unfaithful spouse, loss of a job or your home, a long illness, an unjust and harsh boss or just life in general. And you know what, if you do have the freedom to scream in private—then do it!! Scream and cry until you feel empty. This doesn’t mean you are not trusting God or your faith is weak. No. All it means is you are human and have the human emotions God has given us.

I have screamed in my pillow, but it was controlled and how I wished I could have just let it all out. I have wanted to scream and cry and fuss and yell and cry until there are no more tears for that moment. It was during a time when life was very hard and felt so unfair. Of course I have survived it all, but to have been able to just let it out would have been a good thing. Because I was a single mom who homeschooled, I hardly ever had time to myself where I could even have a good cry. I don’t think it is good to put on an “I’m doing wonderful face” when we are sad and hurting inside. We need to be able to at least cry when we are sad. So the shower became my safe haven, but I still had to suppress the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.

But there is a good side to wanting to scream too. There have been times I wanted to go on the roof and scream the goodness of God. Yup, it hasn’t always been about scramming the pain out. Just as I’ve been overwhelmed with grief, sadness and pain, I have also been overwhelmed by God’s wonderful love for me. And that has moved me to want to shout it to the world.

Sisters, it’s okay to scream! No, not at other people, but when it’s just you and God it’s okay. In fact, it will help you not to scream at others. It will help you work through whatever it is you are going through. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. So, when the trials and tribulations of this life seem to be getting you down, if you can find a place to scream and cry about it—don’t be afraid to do so. Then when you’ve cried it all out, be sure to talk to Jesus about it. You will feel so much better.

The song Melissa Manchester sings, “Don’t Cry Out Loud…learn how to hide your feelings” is a lie from the pit and don’t you dare buy into it! ~Smile~



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

God....What's Going On?

Ever feel like things are not quite right but you’re just not sure what it is? I think we all experience what I like to call the “Troubling of the waters” seasons or phase of life.

Recently I’ve had the blues a bit. Why? Not really sure, but it’s making me move in closer to the Lord to find out why?

Just as our homes need a good spring cleaning each year, I believe so do our hearts. Have you ever neglected a closet to the point you can’t fit another pair of shoes or piece of clothing in it? Or each time you open the door, something falls out? And finally you spend week’s cleaning it out? Well, often our hearts (left unchecked) can overflow with stuff that needs to be let go of, reevaluated, trashed, refreshed, looked at with new eyes or given away.

Often when there is an unsettling or rustling in our spirits, its God’s way of getting our attention. But, we don’t always get that. As women we like to self medicate. Shopping or overeating I feel are in a tie for first place. Second place is filling our schedules to the point we are always on the go or way too busy to sit and here from God. In fact, we often run from God when He desires to spend time with us. Why? For me, it used to be fear of hearing what He might say. He might tell me I had to let go of something or someone I wanted to hold on to. Fear that I’m really wrong in an area where I have justified being right. Fear that He might ask me to do something that would be a big sacrifice. Fear of what He might reveal to me about me. Fear He might want to have a heart to heart, where change is needed and dreams could be dashed.

Knowing that I have probably lived more days then I have left before me, I look at life very differently now days, and when I find there to be unrest or the blues for more than one day here are there, I know it’s time to seek God as to what is going on with me.

There are surface things I can pinpoint and have talked to Him about, but most often they are just the symptoms of something much deeper. With an illness you may have symptoms…high blood pressure, you experience headaches and dizziness. Vertigo is the symptom of and inner ear problem, fatigue is a symptom of many different things…high blood sugars, low blood iron levels to leukemia. My point is—physical symptoms tell you something is wrong, but not always what it is. So, we have to go to the doctor for test and evaluations. Emotional unrest, the blues or depression also tell us…something is not right. So we must dig deeper to find out what the root cause is.

Often when looking into the recesses of our heart and mind, it can be likened to cleaning out that junky overgrown closet you’ve neglected a few years. But it’s a must if we want to stay spiritually healthy.

If you’re finding that things are a little off kilter or amiss, take time to move into to God to see what the root cause of this unrest is? Seek Him, with a humble and willing heart. Humble so you can receive what He has to say, and willing, to be able to make whatever change is needed. Sometimes it’s as simple as waiting for it to pass as He makes changes we are not even aware of, but on the other hand it might be a more difficult feat and require great change. But either way, it’s all good. Because God never makes a mistake!

So my dear sisters, I hope I have encouraged you to not be afraid to seek God, no matter what the outcome or circumstances, because He will always give us His best.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

Thou Shalt Be Happy.......

At the end of 2011, a book called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin caught my attention. Ms. Rubin spent a year making changes in her life in order to be happy. Browsing her website gave me the incentive to make changes in my life immediately. Ms. Rubin gives a set of simple guidelines for anyone to make their own happiness commandments. In writing my own commandments, I realized that the majority on my list focused on internal happiness; otherwise known as joy. On her website, there is an area for readers to share their commandments to help and inspire others. I’m choosing to share my list with the dear readers of The Kitchen Table. Some of my commandments are serious, there are biblical based ones and some are phrases I found funny. I will offer explanations for a few from my list. I hope you enjoy.

1. Stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog! – This is a funny reminder to stop stress/ emotional eating. (smile)

2. No more stress, it’s not that serious. – A year from now, I will not remember what caused stress to my mind, body and soul. Therefore, I need to let it go!

3. Buy something nice (for me) or go somewhere fun at least once a month.

4. Let go of demons, leave the past in the past.

5. Hebrews 13:1-2 – “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”

6. Be grateful. In all things give thanks. - If I learned something, even in a bad situation, be thankful.

7. Don’t be afraid to “clean house”, negative people you’ve got to let go!

8. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. It’s not selfish, it’s healthy. Your happiness should always be a priority. #self-preservation - I saw this quote on Twitter and added the hash tag “self-preservation”.

9. Get busy in your purpose, gifting, or ministry. No idle hands.

10. Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. – Surely you think I’ve gone crazy after reading this one, LOL! This is a quote a saw on Twitter and I interpret it to mean: People are going to be who they truly are. Some people’s assignment appears is seemingly to dislike, disagree, and speak negatively against you and anything you’re trying to accomplish. “Haters” are what they do. Just like potatoes well, they potato, LOL! Hence the previous phrase (smile)

11. 1Corinthians 15:33 – Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – Just a reminder to be careful who I become intimate with on a friendship or relationship level.

12. You deserve to look as nice outside are you are inside. Eat right, workout regularly, treat yourself to clothes, accessories, wear makeup and get your hair done. Most of all, remember to SMILE!

Thank you wonderful readers for reading my list; my prayer is that those who needed encouragement or a “pick me up” found it and are inspired to create their own happiness commandments.



Until next time, Jennifer!

The "Little" White Lie......

What is a white lie and where did it originate from?

White lie: A minor, polite, or harmless lie, fib.
White has the connotation of being good whereas black has the connotation of being evil. This is indeed somewhat racist but nevertheless it's the way the language evolved. A white lie can be excused because it does not cause great harm. For instance, if you don't want to see your friend one day, you tell them you aren't feeling well to avoid telling them the truth that you just don't want to see them that day. The little white lie hurts no one and sometimes avoids hurt feelings. ~Ruth Campbell~

Sounds pretty good—right! Especially the part, “The little white lie hurts no one and sometimes avoids hurt feelings.” Well, I think that “little” white lies are very harmful. Why? Because the practice of lying is a slippery slope. Solomon tells us that it is the little foxes that spoil the vine and Jesus tells us how they trip us up.

Before Jesus got a hold of me and God starting straigthening some things out in me, I was big on the “little” white lies. But I didn’t stop there; I told the big lies too and thought nothing of it. That is until the Holy Spirit shinned a light on it, and at that time I could barely stand to look at what He was showing me. Why was it necessary? God wants us to be as much like our Messiah as we can on this earth, so practiced sin is not acceptable in the Kingdom.

Over the years (since being exposed by God) I have been put on the spot many times as to where the “little” white lie would be so easy and very less complicated, but then I’m reminded of what Paul says in Ephesians 4….In speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

In the example above by Ruth Campbell, why couldn’t you just say to the person, “I can’t make it today”? That is the truth in love. And as Believers we must be very careful with our words, so I would never claim to be sick or not feeling well and that was not a true fact. ~Smile~

I’m not trying to be preachy with brimstone and fire for a lying tongue, because in some cases lying is not always so black and white. But, I do think the “little” white lie is. Now take Rahab who lied and hid the spies Joshua sent. She was rewarded for what she did. So were the midwives who the king of Egypt sent to kill the Hebrew babies that were born males. They lied and said they had gotten there too late, because they feared God, and the Bible says God was kind to them for this. And if the truth be told, I would lie and hide a brother or sister (in Christ) who was going to be shipped back to another country where they would be killed by their family or government for becoming a Christian. Look at the many people who did the same for salves in America until we were set free and also for Jews during the Holocaust. I personally know a woman who was one of the many hidden Jewish children of that time. Her parents sent her to live with a Catholic family in Belgium when she was 8 years old. Her mother, father and brother were sent to the camps and she never saw them again. She had to pretend to be Catholic and go to mass and Catholic school. She was later smuggled into the United States of American….she is now in her late 70’s.

But the “LITTLE” white lie is for our comfort and not really the benefit of someone else and as Believers we must also be careful because we don't always know who is watching us, and that's our real testimony.

Jesse DuPlantis (preacher/evangelist) tells a story of when he was a young evangelist as a guest preacher one Sunday; a woman from the congregation invited him home for lunch with her family. She laid claim to making some of the best gumbo in Louisiana. Long story short, he went home with her and it was the nastiest tasting stuff he had ever had. She looked at him and said, “Now isn’t that some good gumbo?” He was more than tempted to tell the “little” white lie, of “Yes, it is” when the Holy Spirit spoke sternly to his spirit and told him to tell the truth. After debating with the Holy Spirit for about a minute he looked at her and said, “I don’t mean any harm but this is the nastiest gumbo I’ve ever tasted.” Her husband (who by the way had not been in church) slapped his hand on the table and said, “Finally a man who says he’s a man of God who told the truth!” It seems that minister after minister had come to eat with her family over the years and kept telling the same “little’ white lie of how good that gumbo was, when in reality it wasn’t. Her husband ended up getting saved, because he had an ear to hear what Jesse had to say.

My dear sisters, as you can see, “LITTLE” white lies are harmful and you may never know how far reaching. So, if you are guilty of telling what you deem as “Little White Lies” it’s time you stopped and started speaking the truth in love.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!


Look for Jennifer's bolg on Wednesday, "Thou Shalt Be Happy"

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

There is a part in all of us that needs inspiration to succeed and develop who we are. God made us to be imitators. But I guess the trick is to make sure that those who inspire you, are ones who inspire you to be more and not less.

February can be a month of the doldrums. It is midwinter for many and a time when cabin fever starts to set in as we wait patiently for spring to arrive. Lately I’ve seen a need for me to make sure my spirits are lifted this time of year and to mix things up and not be bored. What about you? Are you finding life a little complacent or boring? If so, what inspires you to do something different?

Over the years I’ve found that I can find inspiration in many different things. It probably has a lot to do with the maturity of my age, but also, I’m the artistic type. I love magazines! Why? I find them to be very informative, but mostly they appeal to my visual senses. They remind me there is a much bigger world outside of mine. Such as—ones with ideas on the latest décor, fashions, make up and new fragrances to try. They also help to remind me I should take better care of myself and keep my relationships alive and well. If you don’t have at least one monthly subscription for a good magazine, I suggest you get one. If you go online to the magazine’s website, you usual get the better deal.

You might be one who says, “I don’t have time to read a magazine.” I’ve heard that response often. But I challenge you to make time. One place to read is the bathroom. ~Smile~ So, I’m sure that in a month’s time you can finish a magazine. And find yourself inspired to try a new dish for supper or rearrange your bedroom furniture. You might even try a new facial product with a coupon from your magazine, or it could be something as simple as just finding pleasure in the articles and short stories you have read.

I also get inspiration from my friends. It never ceases to amaze me how a good conversation or laughter with someone can make you feel so good afterwards? We need each other to bounce ideas off, and be encouraged to make change. But most of all we, need good people in our lives who will tell us the truth about ourselves (with love and compassion of course), and at the same time inspire us to achieve greater things.

My dear friend and mentor of over 20 years, is one who can make me laugh and cry at the same time. We have some of the most wonderful conversations about the good ole days. But we also have very serious conversations about God, and His Word. World events and what time we are in according to scriptures. She inspires me to strive to be more like Jesus and read my Bible and search out who God really is. She inspires me in the little things like drinking more water, being active and to treat myself good! But most of all she inspires me to always Believe God!

We are all different personalities, yet we are all the same in many ways. There is something the Lord has put inside of each of us that needs to be cultivated with inspiration. So, again, what inspires you to grow and make change in your life?

It might be a magazine, or it could be a cooking show on the Food Network, or a decorating show on the Home & Garden channel? Maybe music speaks to your soul and can energize you when it is rainy and gray outside. The great blessing from God is that we have so many good things to choose from. So, I say, “Pick something!” Pick something inspiring that will give you a fresh new perspective about life and yourself.

I think keeping oneself inspired and motivated falls under “Self Love.” And I say that, because we need to be inspired and reminded to do things for ourselves. To keep “us” a priority so we don’t end up on the back burner or the bottom of the “to do list”.

My dear sisters, make sure you have inspiration in your life that will help you live life to the fullest and keeps “you” in the forefront.

A confident, self-assured woman helps others to feel the same way. She has an energy that fills a room on the upbeat. People are happy to see her and want to be around her. She inspires others to be all that they can be. So, let us work on being that confident and self-assured woman.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


See you next Monday!

Self Love.....Part II

Happy V-Day ladies, or should I say, “Happy Day of Love!”

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day of love, but somehow it has turned into a day for lovers, which by the way leaves a lot of people out. But that is the way of the world and all manmade holidays, but the good thing is…we have control over how we let them affect us. And besides, it doesn’t matter if you are one half of a couple or not, ALL women can use a big dose of “Self Love”!

When Jennifer turned her blog in last week, I was very excited to say the least. Because I could really relate to the things she was saying and felt many other women would too. And though I have walked in Jennifer’s shoes of having anxiety attacks when spending money on myself, I am glad to say that is not the case at this time. Which is kind of amazing because it means I’ve gotten to the point in life that I know I deserve things and its okay to think about myself?

I started loving on me back in November of last year when I realized I had been neglecting myself for well over a year. I started with simple things like drinking more water each day, eating more whole grains, moving around more and cutting a lot of junk and sugar out of my daily diet. But January was the “I’m gonna give it all I got” starting point!

I celebrated my birthday from January 4th to February 4th! I brought it in with a bang and went out the same way. I was both practical and not so practical. In other words I tried my best to find balance in how I spent my money. ~Smile~ For starters I replenished all my vitamins (which had run out months ago), and my facial cleansers. It is the little things like these we should stay on top of because they affect our health and over all attitudes about ourselves. I even purchased a yoga matt and one of Jane Fonda’s latest exercise videos. When I went food shopping I stocked my cabinets with healthy snacks, nuts and other goodies so I wouldn’t over eat or eat a lot of the wrong things.

Now you know the practical side, so let’s look at the not so practical. I bought a ring, books, CD’s (I love my music) and a DVD. I was also given several DVD’s on my birthday, along with jewelry, and money. Before my move in the fall I let all my magazine subscriptions expire, so as part of celebrating me I renewed 3 of them for 2 years each! But my splurge gift to me was a Dooney and Bourke pocketbook! That’s right girls—that was my special treat. And you know what Jennifer was also inspired to buy one! I must say, “We really love them!!”

My new ring inspired me to make sure I used my cuticle oil every night (well, most nights..LOL!!); I’ve started taking better care of my face since I’m restocked on facial cleansers. But I didn’t stop there….I needed a new fragrance. I love smelling good for me. I didn’t buy any clothes, because I’m looking forward to the spring and buying new pieces then, but I am focusing on making myself a high maintenance woman on my terms. That means that I don’t plan to do all my pedicures and manicures myself. Here and there someone else is going to do it for me. I no longer plan to use old makeup, which for health reason should have been thrown out years ago. When we hear the phrase “High Maintenance” we think…money, money, money!! But it really just means taking better care of yourself like Jennifer said yesterday, it can be as inexpensively or expensively as you like or can afford.

Here’s a comment posted on Jennifer’s blog yesterday: "I read the title of the post and had a bath with a delightful, delectable "Phoenix Rising" bath bomb from Lush. It was amazing - just watching the bathwater change colour and the smell. Because I quit smoking on Valentine's Day, 23 years ago, I always do something just for me - this year it was a bottle of "Daisy" by Marc Jacobs. This was the first time I've bought perfume for myself”……Now this is what we’re talking about!

Self love is to love you inside and out. It means you make time for yourself on a regular basis. I love to read for enjoyment, and if you feel the same then make sure you eke out some time each day just to read, or be quiet and listen to music.

We all have different needs, but one thing we all have in common is that we all have the need to care about ourselves.

Yesterday Jennifer posted pictures of herself on Facebook after her makeover. She was Hot! LOL!! She is a beautiful young woman without makeup, but as she said, she just wanted the makeup because it made her feel good! It is her way of “loving on Jennifer”!

So, I’m with Jennifer…”What do you need to do as an act of self love? What is Valentine’s Day (the day of Love) going to mean to you? We shouldn’t depend on others to make us feel beautiful or worthy. The Blood of Jesus has taken care of that, so what are you going to do to celebrate you? Whatever it is my dear sisters….have fun!!



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


See you next Monday!

SELF LOVE......

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that stirs up many emotions in women. As a teen, I felt hopeful, in my 20’s I felt dread, my early 30’s brought on a feeling of numbness and now that I’m entering my late 30’s and still single my focus has shifted. It’s time for “Self Love”. So I ask this question: What are you going to do for yourself this Valentine’s Day?

As women we often put our needs and desires last. Single women focus on their career, ministry, family and friends. Mothers often focus on the needs of the children and wives tend to their husbands first. It is very easy to neglect yourself in the name of love. Just today I went shopping to buy things I needed for the house, new bedding and a few goodies like DVDs and in the middle of the store aisle, my heart began racing, and my stomach and head started to hurt. I recognized that these sudden symptoms were not the beginning of a virus but due to me spending money on myself. Can you believe it? My physical symptoms were brought on because I began to think about the money I was about to spend and I hadn’t even made it to the checkout. LOL!

I actually began some internal dialogue in the middle of the store: “Self, I'm no longer denying or depriving myself of things I need or want. Taking some Excedrin and keeping it moving!” :) For me, I will drag my feet about spending money on things I need; it’s pretty sad, I will wait until things have almost fallen apart before I buy something new. You would think I lived through the Great Depression of the 1930’s! In fact, I’m writing this blog in a favorite shirt of mine that has a few holes in it. So my challenge is to do something nice for myself that’s non food related. I have decided I will go to a cosmetic store, have a makeover and purchase some makeup. I can’t stop there! I am the type of woman who wears lip gloss for a special occasion instead of daily. I will commit to wearing makeup daily; not because I feel I need to cover up something but just to brighten my day.

My question to you, wonderful readers is: What do you need to do as an act of self love? Do you need to buy some clothing or goodies like me? Maybe you haven’t been to the movies or to a show in a long time? Have you been holding back on fixing or buying a particular meal because you’re the only one in the family that likes it? When was the last time you had some quiet time to read a book or give yourself a manicure or pedicure? As you see, you can make this as costly or inexpensive as your budget allows. So I challenge you to do something nice just for you on Valentine’s Day and at least one day a month. Are you up for the challenge? I know I am.

In parting, I will leave you this quote from Oscar Wilde: “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”



With sisterly love, Jennifer!


Ponnie will continue Part II of "Self Love" tomorrow. Hope to see you then.

THE NAYSAYERS….

A “Naysayer” is one who denies, refuses, opposes, or is skeptical or cynical about something, or as I like to say…a dream stealer or faith killer.

I’m pretty sure most of us have met a naysayer or two in our lifetime. In fact we might have played the role ourselves from time-to-time.

Naysayers are negative in attitude and are really no fun to be around. In the world, I understand that personality type having a place to flourish, but it is somewhat baffling as to why there are so many in the Body of Christ. I say that, because according to our Master we are to lift one another up, think more highly of others than ourselves, and above all else we are to love one another in such a way that those in the world will know that Jesus is our Lord. BUT, often that is not the case.

So, how do we deal with the naysayers in our lives or stop being one ourselves?

If you have a naysayer in your life, maybe it’s time to back off from them. That might sound harsh, but it’s a reality if you want to stop having their negative influence affect your life. What we need to grow and flourish in our Christian walk are people who know the Word of God, and live the Word of God. There are a lot of people out there that sort of know what the Bible says, but they are not living it. Jesus says that if we love him then we will obey him. Those are the type of people you want to hang around, because they will uplift you and encourage you to grow in the things of God.

Why do so many naysayers exist in the church? Well, I’m sure there are several reasons, but a biggie is, we have so many babies who have been going to church for years, think they know something (which they don’t) and their true lack of understanding of God causes them major problems—such as being very insecure, jealous and envious. This all translates into someone who relishes in squashing the dreams and visions of people because they can’t stand to see God move in the lives of others.

It’s natural to be excited when God gives us a dream or things begin to come together after years of working hard, and we want to share. But BEWARE! Beware that you don’t share with a naysayer. That personality type can suck the air and life out of you faster than you can blink your eyes. I’m sure some of you have experienced (probably more than once) what I am talking about. You were very excited after being at a conference or have a great revelation about things between you and God and once you tell the naysayer, all of a sudden you are discouraged and down trodden. You’re left scratching your head and wondering, “What happened?” Yup, just like that!

It is important to be around people who have great faith in God. Not just talking-the-talk, but those who really walk-the-walk! Because folks like that are confident and will be happy for you and walk side-by-side to help you. Why? Because that is what Jesus commands us to do, for those of us who are in the Household of Faith.

If you are a naysayer, then it’s time to figure out why? Why are you so insecure that you can’t be happy for others? Why are you one of those folks who add merit to “Misery loves company?” What is it that stops you from believing that God loves you as much as others? Why do you feel you have to be a “dream stealer” or a “naysayer”?

Sisters, I encourage you to read your Bibles, so you know what it says. Don’t just read scriptures here and there and pick out what you want, but read the entire Bible so that you really know what it says, what was going on at the time and who it’s really meant for. This will help you to know that you are on track with what God is saying and you will become good at dividing the Word and know the difference between a naysayer and a person filled with godly wisdom when you meet one.

If you have a dream that God has given you, make sure to only share it with one who will encourage and help you reach the goal that God has set before you. If you are one who is afraid to dream, get around strong faith people so you can be built up and encouraged in the things of of our Lord.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


See you next Monday!

Some Plant...Some Water

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. I Corinthians 3:6 (NIV)

The picture is of a science project my 4 year old granddaughter and I did for her pre-k homeschool curriculum. We planted 3 little navy beans in a small cup with about 1 ¾ inches of dirt. For 17 days she had to record (make a drawing) of what she saw. Actually, we were only allowed to look at it every other day. It took 5 days before she saw a little sprout in the dirt, and boy was she one excited little girl. She also had to estimate how tall she thought her plant might grow. She picked 6 inches on the ruler. Truth is I didn’t know if it would make it in such a small amount of dirt. We planted 3 beans and 2 of them sprouted. But it is now 3 months later and the picture doesn’t do justice to have much that plant has grown, but I wanted you to see the little cup of dirt it was growing out of.

We had no idea this plant would grow as it has, and we keep talking about repotting it…LOL!!! But all we did was water it a little and sit it in a sunny window. One day when I went to put a few drops of water in it, the scripture came to mind “Some plant, some water, but God gives the increase. [My paraphrase] I Corinthians 3:6 Wow! It was like hearing it for the first time because there was a new clarity in it for me. The clarity was just how little we do, yet how huge our expectations can be of others.

Since the sun, dirt and water are all natural resources (God made) and without them, things could not and would not grow and the Bible is God’s….so, why is it we quickly become discouraged with baby Christians or those who are not yet saved, and give up on them? Why do we stop praying for people, just because we haven’t seen a change in our time frame? I think it’s because a lot of us don’t really understand what Paul was telling us in Corinthians?

Amaia-Joi and I did little to nothing for this plant to grow as it has. Once the seeds were planted we just watered it every week…no more, no less. God made it grow. The same way He does in the spiritual realm of our lives.

I guess today I want to encourage as many of you as I can to not give up so quickly on others and God.

You might plant a seed in someone and it could take years of watering by others before…listen to me, “before” God gives the increase or makes it grow. It’s not our call, it’s His.

The Bible says that man judges by the outward appearance, but it is God who judges the heart. And you know what my dear sisters the heart is a tricky thing. You know why? Because the Bible also tells us that the heart is deceitful but above all else it is wicked. Hum. So, only God can deal with the heart of man, I mean who else can back up the statement that He can turn a heart of stone into one of flesh?! That’s right only the Lord.

So, with this fresh outlook on how God works, it should help us to not badger people with the Word of God. Yes, I’m talking about almost hitting them over the head with what the Bible says, or constantly reminding them of their sin and Hell’s damnation. Reason being, people start to tune you out and that is not the gentle and refreshing drink of water we love so much when we are parched. It’s more like having a fire hose turned on you to the point it hurts and you are unable to withstand it.

It should also make us think about how long and how much we are to pray for people God has put in our lives? Do we give up after a year, or is 5 years long enough? What about 10? How long do we wait before our expectations have not been met and give up?

We don’t! We are to continue to be the vessels God needs us to be and continue to plant seeds in some and water others, until it is time to go home or Jesus comes back for us!

If there is someone you have given up on, may today’s blog rekindle your hope in God and what He is capable of doing with this person in His time frame and not yours.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


See you next Monday!

Alone again?

In 2011, I heard a command from God that unsettled me. “It’s time for you to let some people go.” I thought, “Really God? Are you sure? Why do I have to be alone again?” I’ve gone through a period of aloneness before in my 20’s with a young child and it wasn’t a fun experience. It bothered me so much that I chose to ignore it for the entire year until I was confronted with it again in December, when He said again, “It’s time for you to let some people go.”

When God tells you to remove people from your life, it can be for reasons known or unknown to you. Perhaps the relationship is toxic and you’re left wallowing in negative emotions. Maybe the relationship just isn’t fruitful, it’s not the other person’s fault but it’s time to move on. Don’t waste time trying to justify the relationship or hold on to people; you will only make the situation worse. If I dissolved the friendships when he first mentioned it to me, there was a possibility we could have reunited after some time passed. Because of my disobedience, I now feel like there’s a very slim chance for reconciliation.

After I settled my mind and spirit with the idea of letting go, I would have random conversations with people (unbeknownst to them) about moving on, articles about cutting people loose were everywhere and songs would drop in my heart about change and moving forward. As extra confirmation, the sermon I heard on New Year’s talked about cutting ties with stale relationships! To be honest, there are times where I feel a struggle with my decision, but I have those moments when I talk to God and peace returns.

So dear sisters, if you believe God is telling you to remove relationships whether it’s romantic, friendly or even family let it go! When God removes something or someone from your life He won’t leave that area with a void. He will fill it with something bigger than you would ever imagine if you ask Him to. Philippians 4:19 may seem to be an overused bible verse but I think it’s very relevant for this situation. “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” (NIV translation)

I’m now a true believer in the gift of saying goodbye. Seasons change, growth occurs. Sometimes you have to let go in order to move forward. Let go and trust God with your future, you will not be disappointed. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Trust God and move forward confidently into the life that’s waiting for you.


Until next time.....Jennifer Spence!


Ponnie will be back on Monday

IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY.......

I think we have all heard the old adage, “When momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” In fact some of us claim it when things aren’t going our way, or others laugh in agreement when they hear it. But I have a question for you, “Why?” Why would a woman of God think this type of attitude would be acceptable? I think we’ve been watching too much TV myself. LOL! But seriously, this should not be the mindset of God’s daughters.

Yesterday a friend posted on Facebook one of my favorite Bible verses. By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24:3 (NIV) It started me thinking about how we as godly women are to build and keep our homes.

If a woman wants to build her house through wisdom and understanding, that means she can’t make her houseshold upset because she is upset. If we are to esteem others higher than ourselves, we can’t possibly pout and use manipulation to get our way with our husbands. And since Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” It seems to me that the “When momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy” mindset is that of a foolish woman tearing down her own house. Is that who we want to be?

More and more Christian women are taking on the ways of the world. Instead of seeking to do what the Word of God commands, we go around looking for loopholes or others to cosign our foolishness. Women of God, stop seeking the opinions of others on things that are spelled out in the Bible. Stop listening to silly women tell you to do what you think is right, because when momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy. Palms 1:1, lets us know that godly counsel is where it’s at.

One thing for sure is, we can be in a state of happiness one minute, and sad and upset the next….so, does that mean everyone in your home has to go on an emotional rollercoaster because of your moods and attitude? I don’t think that’s the rare treasure Proverbs is speaking about…do you?

How are you filling the rooms of your home? Are they filled with rare treasures such as obedience to God, submission to your husband, compassion and care for your children and love and hospitality to others? Or are they filled with strife, manipulation, confusion and an ill tempered woman?

Sisters, we need to be careful about the characteristics and mindsets we take on. Especially when it is something the world has deemed as good or okay. If the world says, it is good, you can almost always rest assured it goes against the Word of God and what He says is good. We are now living in a time where right seems wrong and wrong seems right. And it is up to us as Believers to know the difference.

A beautiful home in God’s eyes is not contingent on the things it has in it, it is contingent on the spirit of those who live there. And guess who sets that tone? Yup…the woman of the house! Truth be told, momma can make everyone unhappy if she chooses, but she better think twice because it will not be pleasing unto God and that’s for sure.

Next time you’re tempted to take on the attitude, “If momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody gonna be happy” just picture yourself standing before God with your arms crossed telling Him that. I think it will help you see just how foolish it is.

Until next Monday, have a wonderful week striving to look more like Yeshua (Jesus) than the world!!!



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


Jennifer Spense will be back on Thursday, be sure to tune in!

Yesterdays......

Hello my dear sisters!!!

Yes, it has been awhile since our last post. In fact it was June 16, 2011, which is exactly 7 months to date. Wow, such a long time and in those 7 months a lot has happened in my life. Mostly all for the good, but the adjustment of it all was not as easy as I had hoped. But the really good news is that I have a lot to share and many encouraging words from my 7 month hiatus! And it gets even better because some of the other sisters are back writing for the table too!

My goal is to post every Monday and have special blogs here and there from the sisters of The Kitchen Table. Please keep me in prayer to be faithful.
We are 16 days into a New Year and many of us are still going strong with our resolutions and goals we set for ourselves. Some might be petering out a bit, because human nature has a tendency to bit off more than it can chew, and so keeping up is becoming more than a notion. But today I want to encourage you to move forward taking with you all that is good and helpful from your yesterdays.

I have one goal for 2012, and that is…”It’s all about ME!” No, not the self-indulgent, selfish, all about me and no one else—that would not be good. But the “Me” where I no longer neglect myself. The “Me” who God sees as worthy to be in this world and in the Book of Life. I have too many yesterdays of not caring for that person. I have too many yesterdays of leaving her on the back burner to simmer until she is like a dry pan that has run out of liquid. What about you? Anyone else see such a pattern in their lives?

Taking care of oneself entails a conscience effort, especially if you have a husband, work, children or care for an elderly or sick family member. It is somewhat easier for single women who don’t have children or their children are grown. But even they can fall into a rut of not taking care of themselves as they should.

We have a physical body that needs daily care and a quick shower is not always enough. We need to watch what we eat and how much we eat. We need some type of daily exercise, if nothing more than walking up and down the stairs more and dancing to a couple of records. Our mental health is also a very important part of our being. We need others in our lives who encourage and lift us up during the hard times. But most of all, we cannot afford to neglect our spiritual life, because no matter how much we take care of the other things, if our spiritual life is tattered we will have troubles. We just can’t make it without Jesus and God’s precious Word!!

The yesterdays of our lives are usually bitter sweet, but packed with lessons for our today and each tomorrow we are granted. But often we have to make decisions about our yesterdays and how we are going to let them affect our lives. It is important to know where to put the “periods” and when to start a new chapter.

One thing that helps us to be complete and whole in God is letting go of the bad in our “Yesterdays” and the “Forgiveness” of those who caused pain. A couple of months ago I posted something on Facebook in my status about forgiveness, truth is I don’t remember what it said, but I do remember the comment my friend Carmen wrote, “We must also learn to forgive ourselves!” Bam!!! If ever there was a true statement, this is it! Some of us have not learned to forgive ourselves and let go of those yesterdays when we messed up.

Losing a few pounds, buying new cloths and getting our makeup done is fun and really does help boost morale, but it can’t heal the pain of unforgiveness or the sadness of living in the past of our yesterdays.

My dear sisters, my prayer for all of you, is that somewhere in your New Year’s resolutions and goals for 2012 there is the goal of forgiveness of others and oneself. If we say we walk in the Love of God than we must forgive as He has forgiven us. And yes, it is hard work to forgive and allow God to cut out the deep wounds that life has given but it is not impossible. And sometimes the forgiveness of ourselves can be the hardest work of all—but it is all good because we have the love and strength of our Lord to carry us through.

So, let your “Yesterdays” hold only the good things that make you smile and the lessons (hard or easy) that have helped shaped you to be more like Christ.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie