Christina’s tears glistened in the shimmer of the street lights as the police car that she was riding in headed to the outskirts of the city limits. Evelyn seemed to squeeze her hand a little tighter as if you let her know that it was going to be alright.
Jason was such a smart and handsome young man when they met in college over 13 years ago. She felt so special that he had chosen her to be his girl. At first everything (as in most cases of new love) was absolutely wonderful!! He was attentive, kind and very generous with his money. Jason was fourth generation at Harvard, but Christina was the first of her family to attend college and Harvard to boot. She was on a full paid scholarship and her family all pitched in for her to have the other things she needed. Her family tree was one of hardworking people who loved the Lord! Jason’s family line was one of greed, money, position and they didn’t know the Lord!
When she brought Jason home for Thanksgiving break, her mother expressed to her that something wasn’t quite right about him and since he didn’t even pretend to be a Christian or have any type of faith at all, she felt he was not the one for her. But by then Christina was too far gone on Jason. They had started having sex, (she had been saving herself for her husband up until then) and she had falling deeply in love with him.
Spending New Year’s at his parent’s house was a horse of a different color. His mother adored Christina. She too had come from a working class family and had worked hard to get a college degree. For years she felt the young spoiled women in their circle didn’t have the backbone needed to be part of the family she had married into. But, Christina was different; she could see that she had what it would take to help Jason succeed in life. After all, she knew all too well, that behind every important man, stood a great woman that helped push him there. She had been married to Jason’s father for over 30 years.
When the clock struck midnight and everyone else was shouting, “Happy New Year!” Jason was confessing his love to Christina and asked her to marry him. She accepted!
Her wedding was a fairytale event fit for a princess. Jason’s parents had insisted on paying for everything, including her gown. Christina’s mother had stayed on her knees praying about this day and asking God to intervene and stop it. She knew deep in her heart that Christina was making a huge mistake. But as she sat watching her daughter say, “I do” to a man she was becoming unequally yoked with, she heard the still small voice of God say, “Trust me Marilyn for she is mine.”
Christina had one more year of college to complete and Jason started Harvard law. His parents provided a very nice apartment for the newly weds and gave Jason a line of credit so that he could take care of himself and his wife.
Their fairytale life and honeymoon where soon over, as the stress of law school begin to weigh on Jason. He never really wanted to go into law, but his parents pushed because they had a plan of politics for his future and that law degree would look good on his résumé. The first time he hit Christina, he hit her so hard he knocked her to the floor. She laid there for what seemed like hours, afraid to get up, while like a little child he sat crumbled in a corner crying and telling her how much he loved her.
Jason did everything to convince Christina that he was sorry and that it would never happen again. But it did—time, after time, after time. When Christina threatened to leave, he would threaten to kill her. She had 3 miscarriages because of his beatings. No one knew, because Jason was careful to never hit her in her face or anyplace that a piece of clothing couldn’t conceal.
When Jason’s mother came to visit Christina at the hospital after her last miscarriage, Christina told her what was going on and how Jason beat her in the stomach until she lost the baby, and she had not fallen down the stairs as she had told the doctors. To Christina’s surprise, his mother didn’t seem shocked at all. She calmly told her, “You will come and stay with me during your next pregnancy. I will make sure my grandchild gets here.” Nothing about Jason and what he was doing to her, just that she would protect her long enough to have a grandchild.
Over the years, the beatings became more consistent and Christina knew that she had to get out or she would die or kill him. She found the phone number to a local hotline for abused women. It took all the courage she had, but she called. The woman she spoke with was named Evelyn. Christina had been carrying this horrible secret for so long, that hearing Evelyn’s kind and inviting voice, she was able to tell her story in between sobs. When Evelyn heard her say that she had turned her back on God for this man and now she had no one because God would never take her back, Evelyn prayed hard in her spirit. The hotline she was manning was not a Christian organization and she was not to talk about her faith with the women who called in, but there were times the Holy Spirit led her to do it anyway, and this was one of those times.
Evelyn comforted Christina, first telling her how much God still loved her and was waiting for her to come back, and then she gave her information as to how to leave the house. Christina had no money of her own. Jason had refused to allow her to work when she got her degree, and he controlled all the money. Evelyn also gave her the number to a Christian organization that could help her, but told her to hide it somewhere her husband would not find it or memorize it. Christina was also instructed to punch in 3 random numbers on her phone once she hung up just in case her husband hit redial he would not get the hotline number.
In her excitement of thinking that there was still hope for her and God, she forgot to erase the call to the hotline as instructed and Jason checked all the phones that night when he came in. Christina awoke to being pulled out the bed by Jason as he kicked and punched her. But this beating was worst than any other he had given her, this time he didn’t take care not to touch her face. This time he beat her until she couldn’t see.
When Christina awoke she didn’t know where she was, but she felt the familiar touch of her mother’s hand. She could hear her praying and thanking God for her little girl. Christina had been unconscious for 3 days. Jason had broken her arm in 3 places and she now had steel rods holding her left arm together.
The police car pulled into a dimly lit parking lot behind a factory of some sort. There was a lone car with two women standing outside as they pulled up. The two officers stepped out first, then opened the doors for Christina and Evelyn to get out. The two women greeted Evelyn with a hug as she introduced Christina to them. They were there to take Christina across the state line to a women’s shelter for abused women. The police had to get involved because Jason’s family and money were going to do everything possible for him not to spend a day in jail and he had reassured Christina that before it was all over he was going to kill her. She feared for her life.
Christina had memorized the number Evelyn had given her and her mother contacted them for her. Evelyn came to visit Christina at the hospital and they arranged for her to be discharged at midnight through a back entrance with a police escort. Evelyn passed Christina on to the two women and they expressed how sorry they were that they had to blindfold her, but for the safety of the other women at the shelter she couldn’t know where she was. Christina and Evelyn hugged one last time before she got in the car. Right before the door closed she heard Evelyn say, “Remember my dear sister….Jesus loves you still!”
If you are being physically abused you need to get out of the house or that relationship. Christian women have been misled for years that they are to stay in a home where they are being beaten and abused. That is not so. Men are commanded to “Love your wife as you love yourself and his own body” (see Ephesians 5: 25 & 28), so if your husband is not beating himself with chains, throwing himself down the stairs, punching himself in the face, then he is not fulfilling God’s command as to how he is to treat you. Also any man that beats his wife is practicing sin against God and her, and not loving her as Christ loved the church!
Abuse is ramped in the Church. You have pastors, elders, deacons and other church leaders who are beating their wives, including the many others sitting in the pews. Women are being told to stay with them because this is God’s will for them and they must submit to their husbands. But today sisters, our God wants you to know that being a punching bag is not the purpose He created you for, and you need to be safe and it is okay to leave.
Please view this website. It also gives you information for safety on the web and where to find help. http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence/
Father I pray that anyone who reads this blog and is an abusive relationship that You will give them courage and strength to find help. And for those who have been given wrong information that they should stay because this is Your will for them, will now be able to leave and find a safe haven. In Jesus name, Amen!
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
As the Holy Spirit leads us to tackle more of the issues that women have that are kept under the rug, please look for more special blogs such a this.
Monday's Blog: Sasha, "Healthy Lifestyles"
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