This blog was originally posted February 3, 2010
Today is Valentine’s Day (the day for romance) and I’m hopeful there will be at least one single woman out there who after reading this blog will no longer be miserable on Valentine’s Day.
First let’s see where Valentine’s Day originated and why? I thought it would be fun to look at what “Wikipedia” had to say about it.Wikipedia…..Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.
Modern Valentine's Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards, and Valentine's Day has become the second-largest greeting card-sending holiday in the United States, behind only Christmas.
After reading this I was very curious as to what countries celebrate Valentine's Day? And to my surprise, there are not that many. Only the United States, Canada, Mexico, France, Australia and the United Kingdom celebrate Valentine's Day.
Being a resident of the United States of America, I cannot ever remember Valentine’s Day "not" being a big deal. As a child in elementary school, it was customary to exchange cards with your classmates. You could go to the Five & Dime store and purchase a box of cards geared toward children and there were usually enough cards for your entire class. My favorite thing about Valentine’s Day was the heart shaped cherry flavored lollipops. This was way before I became a fan of dark chocolate. When I was young, exchanging cards in school on Valentine’s Day was just something to do. It was not an era where it was promoted to be girlfriend and boyfriend in grade school like it is today. So if you got a card that said, “Would you be my Valentine?” it didn’t mean a thing.
It wasn’t until high school and boys became more interesting did it begin to take on a new meaning. There was no longer that child-like innocence of dumb cards and candy. It now meant that you were either “in” or “out”! If you were going steady with a guy, then he had better given you more than just a card. Friendship rings were a big deal in my day or some type of cheap jewelry that expressed his “love/lust” for you. And thus began the bad feelings for all the girls whose parents did not allow them to date, the ones who were not cool, or those thought “not attractive” enough to have a guy. If you didn’t have someone to profess their love for you on Valentine’s Day, then something very important was lacking in your life. You just weren’t up to par.
It is hard for me to say this but in many cases it is still the same today. We as woman have been duped from a very early age that Valentine’s Day is something to covet. If when it rolls around you have someone in your life that gives you flowers or takes you out for a romantic dinner and movie, then you are “in”. But if you are not being courted or hooked up with someone, then you are “out”. What is wrong with this picture? Everything!
Over the years in my life as a single woman, I have been “in” and I’ve been “out”! But now I’m FREE! Free from letting a day that man has put some type of value on, dictate to me who I am and how I’m going to feel about myself. Sasha Brown said it all for us on Wednesday (see her blog Feb. 9th) “We are Marvelous” because the Lord said so, and made us to be. I’ve been given beautiful bouquets of flowers, expensive cards and have eaten at some pretty impressive restaurants on Valentine’s Day. But most of the guys who did these things for me were either “Jerks” or great “Deceivers”. So what was the benefit in that? Nothing!
I often talk to single women who are looking for romance. I looked up the word romance, and almost wet my pants laughing, because the dictionary broke it down to being imaginary. I instantly saw the truth in that. Romance novels! Big business for book publishers. There are even so called “Christian” romance novels. All imaginary, all made up, nothing real. Wow!! But as women we keep longing for the made up thing called “romance”. After reading this, I went online to see how the word romance translated in other languages. You would be surprised at all the different languages in the world that do not even contain the word romance let alone a meaning for it. Hum, you have to be shaking your head by now. Oh man, have we been duped!
My dear single sisters, if you have any kind of feelings about Valentine’s Day, other than it is a day that the Lord has made and you will rejoice in it (Psalm 118:24) then it is time you let it go! There will be a day that sums up and defines who we are, but that day is reserved for the Messiah and we know it as “Judgment Day.!” Other than that, there is no one day that makes or breaks us. And since no day is promised to us, we should be glad and happy in everyone that the Lord blesses us with. Sisters we cannot let February 14th make us feel that we are less than what God says we are. So if you are one who is sad on February 14th, then I challenge you to be glad in the year 2011. It is time to change how you view yourself and your-self worth. One day does not make you. You are “Marvelous” every day! Why? Because you are part of God’s great works and His works are “Marvelous.”
There are a couple of things we have to do in order to have a renewing of our minds and the way we view romance. First, please stop wasting your time watching “Soap Operas!” Yeah, I said it. This is a big culprit that cancels out what the Word of God says. There is no way you can take in a daily diet of “trash” and trash not come out. Also, be mindful of the movies you go and see and the books you are reading. Romantic movies and books have the tendency to feed your soul wrong attitudes that negate the good life that you should be living in your position of “single.” It makes you want that which is “imaginary” and breeds discontentment. Keep meditating on scriptures that talk about who you really are. Not who you think you are, not who the world says you are, not who someone else says you are, but who God says you are!
Sisters if you like flowers, please buy yourself some. (In fact they will be trying to give away all the left over roses starting tomorrow.) Don’t wait for any special day, just treat yourself to flowers. Have a craving for chocolate. Buy it. Want a nice piece of jewelry then buy it. I was at a gathering of women one day and I noticed one of my friends had on a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring that hadn’t been on her finger the month before. I made a comment about how beautiful it was and her response was, “My main man Jesus bought this for me!” We all had a good laugh about the way she said it, but it was true. She is single, no children and works every day. She saved up for it, paid cash and got exactly what she wanted. But she knew that the Lord had blessed her to be able to have it. But most of all, she knows that Jesus (Yeshua) is her be all to end all.
Let every day that you open your eyes, be one that you live to the fullest. Bringing glory and honor to our Father. Life is short on this earth and we cannot afford to waste a day being depressed because no one bought us flowers or candy. No one whispered sweet nothings in our ear (even if he didn’t mean it). No one took us out to dinner, (even if he wanted something in return). With every day the good Lord gives us, let us do something beneficial and profitable with it.
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
See you tomorrow!
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