The Peanut Butter Stage of Life

Sometimes my life feels like the peanut butter squished between two pieces of bread: just sitting in-between everything. It’s sort of like everything was or is happening on either side of me; high school is behind me. Somewhere ahead there’s college and a career (hopefully) but I’m not there yet. I’m just sitting here… doing… well…. nothing really. Jobs are unheard of in Portland at the moment and, so, as you can imagine, the days began to drag by with nothing to work towards and no motivation to get me up every morning. The plus side: everything was simple. There can be very few conflicts to deal with when you’re just sitting squished between everything.

So I decided to ask God for something. I asked him to provide enough things for me to do so that I would be tired by the end of the day! Sounds weird but after a few weeks of not being able to sleep because of too much unused energy, it makes more sense. I was excited. Of course God would fill my days with “important” things like a nice job as a receptionist (still mad that that job went to the boss’ daughter instead of me) or a surprise trip to Paris to work with Peruvian missionaries (maybe someday) or… who knows… maybe even a really cute boyfriend somewhere squished in there (not even close to happening). I was excited. I had visions of myself prancing around in expensive, new high heels (bought with that nice paycheck I was going to get), going to work with all the grownups, talking on a silvery new blackberry saying good morning to gorgeous boyfriend as I, with the click of a few buttons book my flight to Paris! (In my vision I also looked like a supermodel all of a sudden).

But guess what. That’s not what God had in mind!!!!!! Can you believe it? Of course I couldn’t. My plan was picture perfect! He filled my days, but not how I was expecting. He said, “No, money is not important (I’ll provide what you need), looking like a runway model is not important (I made you how you are) and guess what? Going to Paris isn’t important for you right now (my plan for you is in Portland at this time). AND you don’t need a boyfriend to make your life complete! What is important, are you ready? What’s important are the people around you that I have placed in your life, right now and right here!”

He did fill my days. He’s filled them with millions of conversations over millions of cups of coffee and tons of hugs and tears and craziness! It’s still not exactly what I would have chosen for my peanut butter stage of life. It’s not all simple anymore. There’s conflict, and drama and worry. It takes all my patience sometimes to listen to others talk. It’s made me dig deeper into trying to figure out God and who he is and how he uses us. I don’t get it yet. But he answered my prayer: I am exhausted every night when I get home!



Blessings,
Lydia

Until Saturday, May 22nd, remember to allow the Lord to fill your days!


Monday's Blog: Sasha's up, "Beauty & Healthy Lifestyes"