In today’s shallow society one thing is always being thrown into our faces, dating. It’s all over the television and the newspaper. “Which celebrity is dating which?” “Who broke up?” “I can’t believe he cheated on her?!” We as teenagers are constantly being bombarded with images of the so-called” perfect romance.” It’s nearly impossible to watch a teenage-aimed movie or TV show that doesn’t involve couples, or people who start out as friends and magically turn into something “more.” But what we’re not told is that most of that propaganda is based on a fairy tale. What the media fails to display is that, contrary to popular belief, a teenage guy and girl can be JUST FRIENDS. Yea, I said it, just friends. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, not a couple, not each other’s snookie bear, just friends. I know this can seem like a really insane concept but its true, and it’s a really special relationship to have.
Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be a tomboy in order to be friends with the guys. I am by every means a girly girl who likes to go shopping, watch girly movies, and occasionally talk about boys. ;) But I still love a good movie where lots of things explode, and I’ve been known to watch the Super bowl every other year, although it bores me terribly. I’m not a tomboy, but I am considered “one of the guys.” In the small private school I go to, it can be really nice to hangout with the boys because you know that there’s no underlying drama or gossip going on and the great thing about my guy friends is that they really respect me. We have a lot of fun together, and it’s never awkward where I feel that I need to date one of them. It’s also great to hangout with the guys because you know that they always have your back. Whenever some random creep is bothering me, my guy friends are quick to come to my defense, and they actually ask me for advice. Just as Paul instructed Timothy to respect and treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity 1Timothy 5: 2 (NIV), that is the type of respect and sisterly love I get from them.
I know that this can seem like a totally foreign concept based on how TV can and does exaggerate things. Just the other day I was watching a show where this guy and girl where really good friends, and then they decided that they liked each other and wanted to start dating. Things didn’t work out and then their whole relationship was ruined. They didn’t feel that they could be friends anymore because it felt too weird. I hope that this situation never happens to me or to any of you. Friendship is one of the best relationships that you can have, and a guy needs to be your friend before he can be your “boyfriend.” I know that it can be really hard. I’ll be hanging out with one of my guy friends and someone will be like, “You guys can’t just be friends, it doesn’t work that way in high school” or “C’mon and just admit that you guys are dating, you hang out all the time.” The pressure from our friends and the things around us can make us believe that we can’t just be friends with a guy, and that there has to be something more to it?
Sometimes I find myself thinking, “What if I had a boyfriend?” “Wouldn’t that be so awesome?” But then I think about how great it is not to have one. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, how can I take the time to worry about someone else?! And if things didn’t work out, where would that leave our friendship? These are important questions that I ask myself on a daily basis and I know that I am nowhere near ready for that type of relationship. Maybe it’ll happen in college, maybe later, only God knows. But I do know that having a solid friendship with a guy is a bond that I would never want to give up. I hope the next time you’re hanging out with your guy friend you will think about what a privilege that is, and how blessed you are to have that bond. Don’t feel pressured to be anything other than friends and just have fun!
TTYL
Tovah
My next blog will be: Saturday, February 13th. Talk to you then!
Monday's Blog: Sharon, "Women and Their Finances"
7 comments:
Good post. I'm not sure I agree with the "drama-less" aspect of hanging out with guys; at my school, the guys are the main cause of the drama. But you're right... there is so much value in a guy/girl relationship that is purely a friendship. I think God likes it when groups of guys and girls are able to be friends in Christ... without romance.
WOW< girl you are so good and so very right. I hope that alot of teens and other ladies read theis and get its meaning. A husband is jsut an added benefit, I love min. BUT I also know if I had not gotten married I could have made it. Keep up the great writing.
Great job Tovah. Now if only we can get more young ladies to realize that being just friends with boys can be a good thing. When I was in my teens I had a very good friend who was just a friend and we are still friends today. He actually taught me how to be friends with a guy and gave me some really good advice when I did venture into the dating scene.
I am posting this for a friend of mine who had trouble, but she wanted to 2 cents counted..LOL!!
*clapping* I loved your blog and have a couple of comments. I was/am like you. I love being around with my guy friends, because I don't have to say this, do that, look like this or that. My BBBBBBBBBBFFFF was my ex-boyfriend. Girl, I can't tell you how many people asked how and why and this. Relationships are not something you have to place a definition on. He was the ultimate I tell you. Sometimes I thought, should we have stayed together and realized we had something much more valuable. He passed away March 19 of last year and the best gift he gave me was a phone call the day before he passed.
I am involved with someone right now, but he also was a TRUE friend. Once again, people are pressuring us to get married. I am 41 and still have "peer pressure"...LOL. But like I told them, I am doing what is right for Lydia and no one else. At the end of the day, you do what is right fo you!!!! You don't have to have a man, boyfriend, or husband to define you.
You keep sticking to you and it may come (and it will because you are a beautiful yound lady) or not, let it be of YOUR choosing!
Lydia Garrett
Tovah, I love you, have I told you that??? What a fantastic post - and something that so many girls should read!
Like Lydia, my BBBBBBBBBFE is a man; we go back 32 years with each other this year (gosh, are we really that old already??) and EVERYONE joshed us in school - you can't possibly just be friends, you hang out with each other too much, you're always at each other's houses, give it up & admit it already... Been there, done that, heard it all! 32 years later, he's still my absolute closest friend, and the one person on this planet who knows ALL my secrets. I love him dearly, and I am so blessed to have him as my friend!
So thank you for this post: I LOVE it!!
Sorry, for just reading it now, but I adored it! It's such a sterotype, and at times it's just absurd. There is such thing as a boy and girl friendship. Wonderful post! I'm excited for your next one! :)
Tovah, everything you said is so true! Keep writing girl!
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