The blog I am posting this week may not uplift you or cause you to say praise God, laugh or jump around in praise. I want to be real today and I hope that someone can benefit from my realness or even provide encouragement to me to help me deal with an issue that has plagued me for almost 5 years. This is when my second daughter was born.
As a single mother I use the word “tired” quite often. I use it to describe how I feel or when I’m encouraging my younger ones to trust me because mommy knows when they are ready for bed. I find myself saying it quite often to my oldest to voice my frustration with her repeated poor behaviors that I must speak to her about on a daily basis. Before I had children I used to tell people that I loved to sleep and be alone. As I reflect on my life I wish I had other hobbies because once you have children those two particular things are very hard to obtain. I haven’t slept alone in almost 5 years except when my mother and sister graciously offer me a night of rest and relaxation without the kids. Those 11 to 12 hours of sleeping at night…long gone and I’m guessing that Jesus will return before I see those type of sleep hours again. I wish that I had been an exercise freak. Then the additional 60lbs I now carry would not be an issue. What if I had been a bowler, a runner, or engaged in any type of activity that required some form of a physical commitment. What if what if what if? If I had been active then would I be so tired now.
I just turned 35, 2 weeks ago and I’ve done lots of reflection on my life. What I have learned the most is that the choices we make in past definitely affect our present and future. If my 2 favorite pastimes were not on the couch potato’s to do list, maybe I would not find myself so tired now. We all have favorite prayers or bible verses but I have a favorite plea: God grant me the strength to make it through the day and accomplish all that needs to be done. I wake up tired and I go to bed even more tired. My bed buddies (Tina and AJ) toss and turn and then complain that the other is hogging the covers; usually at 3 am when the alarm is due to go off at 5am. After a long days work, then helping with homework, dinner, baths, hair and my own school work I’m pretty tired.
I have to say I hate being tired. I ask God if there will ever be a time where I am not tired. When I’m tired it affects every aspect of my life. My children want to know where we are going on Saturday. A trip to see the sandman just isn’t sufficient, he’s not on Nick Jr. and and he wasn’t featured on the latest episode of I Carly. Sunday comes around and I don’t get out of bed to go to church…just too tired. Sometimes I pull the covers over my head on Sunday morning as if I’m going to hide myself from God. No luck! I have gotten plenty of advice on how to make things a little easier. Cook all your meals for the week on the weekend; iron all of your clothes on the weekend. Sounds good but then I’m just too tired or I can think of better ways to spend those 4 or 5 hours. I don’t know if there are other single mothers out there who share my struggle. Please know that you are not alone. If anyone who reads this knows of any scriptures that speak to my struggle please post for I am open and anxious to receive them.
I never in my life imagined that this would be an issue in my life. I know that I will gain success in this area of my life with God’s guidance and strength. There are dozens of scripture that indicate that God is our source of strength. Psalm 18:32(NKJV) says: It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. I have to learn to walk in God’s word and this is something else that I must learn on my spiritual journey. It is a journey I don’t mind making I just would like it to be a short one (wishful thinking I know!). I thank God for His grace and mercy for I know He is with me every step of the way as I make this journey, learn new things about myself and grow closer to Him.
I pray that someone has been encouraged by this posting today. I promise that my next blog won’t be so morose. Sometimes we are encouraged when we know that the struggles we endure are universal and not isolated to our own lives.
Peace & Love
Michele
Hope to see on February 10th when it's my turn to talk again!
Thursday's Blog: Esther-Marie "The Travels & High Life of the Single Woman"
5 comments:
Dear Michelle, let me start this comment by telling you up front that I am not - sadly - a mother yet, so I can't talk to you from personal experience. As a part-time couch potato though (my life runs in two concurrent circles: I work hard / play hard & burn the candle at both ends until I collapse from exhaustion, then I spend a couple of months being a complete couch potato until I'm bored out of my mind & start the other cycle again), I can totally sympathize with how you're feeling.
One thing did jump out at me from your blog, though, and please don't take this the wrong way, but why do your girls sleep with you every night? From the sounds of it, that's a very large part of why you aren't RESTING enough, especially if they're real wrigglers in bed. I'm guessing by now they're pretty much used to sleeping with you, so maybe one solution might be to let them fall asleep in your bed, then quietly transfer them to their own beds once they're asleep. Or you move to one of their beds - that way you won't be woken or disturbed by them wriggling around.
Another thing I'd like to say is that, even though I have no idea where you live, I will happily volunteer my time / services to let you have a day or night off to get some rest - it may take some coordination on both our schedules / locations, but please know that the offer stands, and I'll be happy to take care of the girls for you if that would help you out at all....
Don't give up, though, and don't lose heart: I know it feels like this will never end, but the girls will be teenagers soon enough, and will want their own space away from you - then you may find yourself wishing for this time back again! (Unlikely to imagine at this point in time, I know, but it's what almost every mother - and half the country songs out there! - says at some point!).
I wish you God's peace, blessings and rest!
Esther-Marie
Michele, I have a friend that cooks her meals on Saturday morning, and she says it makes all the difference in the world for her week. Please try it. It doesn't have to be fancy but just time saying. Take for instance spaghetti and meatballs. All it takes to heat up pasta that has already been cooked is put it in a pot of water that has been boiled for like 30 seconds, and the microwave will easily heat the sauce and meatballs. Salad in a bag and garlic bread from the freezer and you are good to go!
May I suggest the cookbook "Quick Fix Meals, Vol 1" by Robin Miller..she shows you how to cook 1 day for the week. Her $30 cookbook is being sold for $6.99 on foodnetwork.com because she no longer has a show with them. Sometimes we just have to fight through the tired to get on the other side. ~Smile~
Michelle, what an honest piece. I'm a single mom as well...so I understand totally! I want to encourage you though...there will come a day when you will be able to sleep again. :-) Hang in there!
I wanted to add...and this applies to all women. Sometimes our tiredness can come from underlying health issues as well. I work in healthcare as well and many times we are not very good patients and neglect our own health.
I finally addressed my "tiredness" with my doctor and it turned out that I was walking around with a VERY low hemaglobin (iron deficiency anemia) which is common in women. I started taking iron and Vitamin B12 and oh what a difference it made!!
I still experience the mental tiredness but it doesn't seem quite as bad once the physical tiredness was addressed.
Michelle, As I read through your blog I keeply understanding about being tired. I was not a single mother but a stay-at-home mother who homeschooling three children and an active pastor's wife.
The quickest solution in releaving your problem is doing what Esther-Marie said. Somehow you must sleep by yourself. You are not only tired from inadequate sleep you are hurting your health. For any kind of mother your health is something you need to take care of FIRST. So you can be the mother your children need. Oftentimes mothers run ragged doing everything else they forget to take care of themselves.
Let me give an illustration: Everyone has a glue bottle at home. What happened when we forget to close the cap? The glue dries out and then it's useless. So we must take care to close the glue bottle cap. Then it remains useful when it's neede. Well, Michelle, you are the glue for your family. You must take care of yourself for you to be what your family needs daily.
"Bridge of God's" suggestions are very good too. It was something that I tried when my children were little. It didn't work very good for me but my single daughter (who is working full-time and going to college part-time) does this for herself.
One last thing before I close, when taking care of yourself I emphasized on your physical health but you cannot neglect your spiritually walk of God either. Thank you for sharing your heart. I hope your days get better real soon. I'll pray for you.--Katie
Post a Comment