I guess you might say this is a week of list for me. ~Smile~ Tuesday, I talked about our To-Do List, and today I want to talk about our Christmas List. Today’s blog has something for all women, but I am really speaking more so to single moms.
In about two weeks, we (in the USA) will be bombarded with advertisements for Christmas shopping and the countdown will begin. K-Mart already has commercials about laying away items over an 8 week period, which is not a bad idea if you are on a budget and not trying to have credit card debt. But very soon, we are going to have it coming at us from all ends.
The American economy is far from good, but that does not mean everyone in the States is broke or destitute? No, there are those who are getting richer each day just like so many are getting poorer each day. But it has been very hard for some of us to let go of the so called, “American Dream” and as long as we hold credit cards, we are still easily drawn into the spirit of “spending money we don’t have” during the holiday season. We can even get so caught up in things that we put off paying bills in order to have money for Christmas shopping. My goal today is to give you food for thought on being a good steward of the monies God has given you, and if you do not have money to spend to not be discouraged or depressed about it.
First I want to give you a little background concerning my personal views about Christmas, so that you can have a better understanding of where I am coming from.
At this point in my life, I really don’t celebrate Christmas. For the past several years, Tovah and I have gone to the movies on Christmas day. It’s hard to find a church that has services on Christmas morning anymore if it doesn’t fall on Sunday.
With my first daughter who is 35 years old, I was very foolish in running up debt and not paying all my bills the month of December. I did this in order to buy plenty of stuff for her, my friends and family. With Tovah, my 17 year old, I was a new Believer when she came along and I was beginning to see that not being a good steward of God’s money and not paying your bills on time was not how the Lord desired for me to live. Also, I read in my Bible that the Messiah is absolute in the fact that when we feed the hungry, visit the sick, visit those in prison, clothe the naked, we do that for Him. Well, people are hungry, sick, imprisoned and in need of shelter and clothing 365 days a year. And since we mostly buy gifts for our kids and other people, we are not really honoring the Messiah. And last but not least, December 25th is not when He was born, so how about that! Now I don’t tell people what they should or shouldn’t do concerning the Christmas holiday, but I do try to help those who are locked in the bondage of what the world is doing to be freed. There is such freedom in not being caught up in the so called “spirit of Christmas,” which really is a spirit of “the lust of the eye and give me”
One year we adopted a single mother and her 2 year old who were in a women’s shelter we used to support. Tovah (who was 9 at the time) took her own money to buy the baby outfits at K-mart. But we also did many different things for the shelter throughout the year. We’ve done the “Samaritan Purse” Christmas boxes. But our biggest gift to others was our “Christmas Eve Suppers for singles.” Each year we had a big bash for singles, (men & women), because there is a large group of single people who are very lonely on Christmas Eve. They don’t have children or their children are grown, some are living with their other parent, or their family is in another country and most of their invites are for Christmas day dinner.
We didn’t hold back one iota with the suppers. I pulled out my best china (still cheap stuff…LOL!!), shined the many pieces of silver I owned back then, set the most beautiful table, lit about 25 candles (yes, we ate by candle light) and fixed a lavished seafood dinner. I baked homemade cookies, cherry cheese cake and sweet potato pies. And I waited on everyone as if they were in a fine restaurant. Every seat at the table was filled and I ate when everyone had left for the evening. It was always so much fun and each year there were familiar faces, but always someone new. The table was comprised of people ranging in ages 19 to their 60’s. And everyone took home a special baked goodie just for them. But most of all, they were not lonely. That was the best feedback I received. By the time they left, they had laughed a lot, been fed well and didn’t mind going home to be alone on a night the world projects should be so magical.
After everyone left, Tovah would open up the few gifts she received. We had a deal, if we were going to celebrate the 25th as the Messiah’s birthday, then any gifts we wanted to give each other would have to be opened on the 24th. It’s really funny how just recently Tovah noticed she basically received the same thing every year. Books, music CD and a Nancy Drew logic game…LOL!!! She was a homeschooled kid; her gifts had to be about learning on some level…hee, hee! I really didn’t spend very much on her. But her birthday was like most kid’s Christmas. She was allowed to make requests for things she wanted, and I never had a problem finding any of it, because by April whatever had sold out at Christmas that had everyone in an uproar of how to get it, was back on the store shelves in abundance.
Last year I did something different and gave Tovah one logic game for her DS and a visa gift card, which she used after New Year’s (waiting for the good sales) and she cleaned up on clothing. A light bulb went on for her! Wow, this is the time to buy my winter clothing. The blessing is that since I did not raise Tovah to expect anything for herself for Christmas, it has never been a problem when my funds were low. She was always very grateful for whatever little thing she received, because she knew “it was not about her.”
Just for fun this year, we are going to celebrate “Hanukah!” A friend gave me a Menorah and a book on Hanukah. Since Tovah and I have been associated with Messianic Jews (Jews who believe that Yeshua the messiah was crucified on the cross for our sins) for the past 5 years, we thought it would be fun. At first Tovah was ecstatic because she thought she was going to get 7 gifts…LOL!! One for each night, but she did agree that 3 of the gifts would be handmade, 3 small gifts would be purchased and together we would do one big gift to spread the gospel. I guess the most exciting part of it is that we are going to try to have guest every night for supper and the lighting of the candle. No seafood, but latkes, homemade applesauce, roasted chicken and meat loaf. We purchased two Jewish holiday cookbooks (used) and since we both love to bake, our gift to our guest will be a homemade goodie. Fellowshipping and introducing people to something new seems like it is going to be a lot of fun.
A couple of years ago a friend was just too overwhelmed with trying to figure out things for Christmas, sat down and realistically looked at her finances (or lack of finances), she made the decision to buy things to redo her teen daughter’s bedroom. It was on her things she wanted to do in the house list, so instead of waiting for the spring that was going to be her gift. She really didn’t spend a lot because she purchased the paint on sale, found the loveliest bed in a bag set and matching drapes on clearance. She made throw pillows for her bed and bought a couple of inexpensive throw rugs from IKEA, a bed lamp and book case from Wal-Mart. All this for a little over $100. The day after Christmas the two of them prepped and painted her room and by day 2 it looked like a totally different room. Other family members gave her daughter gifts and some money. But what she loved the most was how great her roomed looked and that she and mother had done it together.
Single moms, I admonish you to think about Christmas in a way that can bring peace and joy to you and your family. If you have young children, don’t raise them to expect a bunch of stuff under a tree each year, it will save you a lot of heartache and disappointment through the years. And if you have older children who were raised to expect a lot but you just can’t do that this year, then it is time for them to grow up and accept that fact. Put your thinking caps on as to how you guys can enjoy the holidays and have fun. Here in Philly we have a lot of free things to see and visit. What does your area have? Homemade gifts are wonderful and A.C. Moore and Michael’s have so many ideas and crafts.
Now is the time to really make some decisions as to how your holiday is going to be. Stop thinking about what your kids want and the world says you have to do and focus more on how your actions are viewed by God. And no, God is not interested in our kids having a bunch of stuff for one day. And if you don’t believe me then read the Bible and see what it has to say, about our responsibility to our children and how we are to raise them.
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
Monday's Blog: Sharon will be back with more great "Financial Wisdom" for us"
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