FEAR—That Sneaky Little Devil

As many of you already know, I often like to supply the definition for a particular word or theme to my blogs. I do this, not because I think my readers are not well informed or don't have substantial word vocabularies—no! I do it simply to put us on one accord as to where I’m coming from. After all—one word can mean different things to many different people. So when I started to define “fear” from the Webster’s point of view I realized it would never do! As Believers, when we experience the type of fear that paralyzes us and or stops us from moving forward and succeeding—it all boils down to—low self-confidence and mostly a lack of trust in God.

Some of us are so fearful about life we can’t see or think straight! And then there are those of us, who don’t realize how fearful we are or have become over the years.

I didn’t plan how 2014 would be (don’t make New Year’s resolutions), only that I wanted to soar more than I have been. And by the Holy Spirit’s direction and guidance, I see it is turning into a face-my-fears, and jump-out-of-my-comfort-zone kind of year.

It started back in October 2013, and continues to be a combination of big things and little things.

An example of a little fear is my crocheting an infinity scarf. I’ve only done baby blankets and throws...all off the same pattern I learned 15 years ago so I could crochet a baby blanket for my first granddaughter.  And in all these years, I’ve done the same pattern so many times I’ve lost count. Sure, I change the colors and patterns of the colors so no two babies have the same design—but that’s about it. Recently a dear friend, (who can crochet and knit her butt off), encouraged me to step out when I saw a beautiful infinity scarf on Facebook. She encouraged me to try it, using the fans that I am familiar with. I was excited because using the familiar gave me the courage to try. Of course sisters, it was not that easy—it never is! LOL!

When I went shopping for the yarn she suggested, I found out it was a soft yarn (home spun). My heart sank as I looked at all the beautiful colors they had. I hate using “soft yarn”! Why? I did a baby blanket once using it, and it gave me a fit. I found it much harder to work with and it snagged a lot. When I finally did finish the blanket it was beautiful to say the least, but I had made a statement to God about never using it again—or something to that effect!  But the Holy Spirit didn’t let me off the hook, He encouraged me to get it—so I did.

Is it snagging? Yes! And when I found myself being discouraged, He spoke to me again and said, “You can do this.” so, I agreed with Him and I’m doing it. Also my friend Marcia reminded me that often “We must work harder for the more beautiful things.”

The big fear I’m currently working on is—a 4 week writing course! I wasn’t fearful in taking the course, (it’s been a desire of mine for over a year), it’s the fear of failing the course. My first online session was Thursday, February 12^th, and I thought I would pass out once I started reading the lecture. I was overwhelmed with a flood of self-doubt. And to top it off, our instructor asked everyone to introduce themselves on our message board. Once I started reading that some were already published, most have some type of degree, and several are world travelers and live in other countries—I was overcome with feelings of inferiority and a great sense of insecurity, which was the “Cherry on top”!

For a moment it was almost impossible for me to remember to see myself as God sees me and that all those other people and their degrees had nothing to do with me—at all!

Truthfully girls—it was a rough day!!

God being the loving and caring Father that He is did not leave me flailing. No, He made sure I was encouraged in a huge way. As I finished reading the lecture, I was pleased to see that salesmanship was one of the biggest skills a copywriter could have. That was right up my alley. I am a natural born salesperson, with a lot of experience in retail and marketing. Bingo! The onslaught of negative emotions and thoughts (my fears) began to ease up and I was able to see the light the Holy Spirit was shinning for me.

My first week’s writing assignment was a simple one, but loaded with research. And I am very grateful for that. Already I’ve had to start the process of moving out of a comfort zone and paying more attention to some things than others. I’ve opened an instragram account (need to be part of that world as a copywriter), don’t know how to use it yet though, but I opened it. ~Smile~

If we take one day at a time, we will continually make progress. I don’t have a clue as to what this Thursday’s class will entail or what we are going to do with our research. I’m not even sure  I picked the right product and company as my project for the next 3 weeks? But I do know that God is with me. I have great assurance the Holy Spirit will help and guide me all the way. And Jesus, our High Priest is cheering me on as I remember I have access through Him, to every spiritual blessing in heaven. But so do you my dear sisters—so do you!

If the fear of failing and self-doubt have been holding you back from moving forward, it's time to look them square in the eyes and step out on faith.

Until next week

Love & Hugs.....Ponnie

No More Sticking My Head in the Sand!

Contrary to popular belief, Ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand when they fear danger. They flop down and stay close to the ground, but metaphorically speaking, we has humans have a way of burying our heads in the sand. I know because that’s what I’ve been doing for some time now.

Recently I ordered a bathroom scale from Amazon.com. It’s been long overdue, but for the past several years I just couldn’t bring myself to purchase one. Why? Well, for starters I kept convincing myself that though I am overweight I don’t need to know how much, until after I’ve lost weight. Sounds sort of wonky doesn’t it?  Truthfully it was a way of burying my head in the sand about the truth. The truth of how much do I weigh and how much do I need to lose?

There was an underline fear that if I knew the truth, it would crush me. Of course this is not making much sense, but then again “fear” can have that affect on you. And since I chose to bury my head in the sand about it, over the years I’ve never really gotten but so far in making effective change in this area of my life. 

 “If God is for us, who can be against us?” is a favorite scripture, often quoted as a reminder when something or someone has come up against us. But when you sit down and think about it—it also pertains to us—because often we can be the one against us.

It is God’s desire for us to be the best we can be, so why do we allow fear to hinder us from being our best? Why do we allow fear to play such a major role in our lives, if God is for us? Bottom line—we have what we allow. Sticking our heads in the sand gives fear a place—and the more we pretend it isn’t there the bigger root it can take.

I used to think of myself as being pretty fearless and when I was younger I’m sure I was. And where I find myself today didn’t happen overnight. No! It was a slow walk. Disappointment and failures over the years have somehow eaten away at my youthful fearlessness. I allowed the loud voices of this distracting world, to become louder and more prominent than that of God’s. That’s the bad news! But the good news is…I’m taking the bull by the horns and looking my fear in the eyes and head on! It is the only way to move forward and leave trepidation behind!

Reading books by others who walk with the Lord can help us in many ways, but there are times we really just need to hanker down with the Bible and read as much and as often as we can. Here is where we are going to hear more from God about ourselves. When the Holy Spirit shines a light on you, it is virtually impossible to have a blind eye to what He is revealing. But that is not the only thing we will gain when we spend time with God…we will be encouraged and fortified in our faith, which enables us to rise up out of our messes with renewed strength!

Okay, let’s get back to the bathroom scale. By the time you get to read this blog, I should have it in my possession and the yoga outfits I found for next to nothing. I also have a tape measure that turns blood red after 35” on your waist measurement, which I have not used once in the past 10 or so years I’ve owned it. Well, my dear sisters, I am going to get on that scale and weigh myself, measure my waist, thighs, breasts, hips and forearms. I will take a selfie in my yoga clothes (doubt it will be a pretty sight), a close up of my face and write everything down. I might even cry a little bit—who knows. But it will all be a huge step in facing my fears and moving forward to a better me—knowing that God is for me!

The older I get the more I find the need to write things down, especially on a daily bases.  If not, the day has a way of slipping away without having much to show for it. This is why I’m writing down my progress by inches and pounds. My goal is to lose weight every week. No, I don’t have a specific number, but losing means not gaining—no matter how small the loss.

How did God make our bodies to lose weight? By watching our calorie intake, eating plenty of raw foods (fruit and uncooked veggies) good fats and natural sugars—laying off processed and junk foods. Drinking plenty of water and exercise! I do have a plan—it’s called, one-day-at-a-time. I’m sure I will have days I do great! I’ll have some that are pretty good; others will be just okay and a few where I totally miss the mark! But to me, that’s living life to the fullest! It’s a very healthy way of achieving a new lifestyle with an abundance of grace for me.

Sisters, we all struggle with some type of fear (a mistrust of God) and for some of us, we have been burying our heads in the sand for way too long. Things will never change for the better as long as we pretend our problems are not there. Spend time with God and lay your fears out before Him and watch what He does with them. Amen!

Next week I share a huge step I've taken to change my life forever while I am on this earth! Be sure to tune in.

Until next week!

Blessings and Hugs......Ponnie

DREAM

The song of the week is Tehillim 23 (Psalm 23) sung in Hebrew…close your eyes and envision David writing and singing this beautiful song...

Because I had my second child at 40, I am now just coming into the possibility of having an empty nest in 2015 at age 62. By some standards I’m sort of late for this juncture in life, but not really because over the years I have met many women who had children in their forties. But lately I’ve found myself asking the Lord, “What will an empty nest look like for me?”

I’m not asking out of fear or any type of trepidation, because the truth is—I will finally be free in many ways. With my children being 18 years apart I will have been a single mom non-stop for 40 years in 2015. For me it has been 40 years of sacrifice and often being on the back burner. And this past year I’ve found myself becoming weary and a bit tired. But I am so grateful I serve a God who will not allow me to stay in that mindset.

There are times we can feel lost when the life we once knew changes and to me this is a normal response. But the trick is not to let it swallow you up and define you in a negative way.

God doesn’t put an age limit on us, in fact He has shown us through His Word, what awesome and miraculous things He can do with those who are deemed “too old”. We have great examples through the lives of Mosses, Joshua and Sarah. Mosses was 80 years old when the Lord called him from the pasture as a sheepherder to be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. So why do we feel we’ve missed our time, just because we are older or years have passed? I personally think it is because we live in a society that worships youth and formal education and we can easily find ourselves buying into the world’s point of view without really thinking about it. But the truth is…none of it has anything to do with what God has to say about us!

I am currently working on an e-book to be published prayerfully in April. But there is a part of me that has been holding back in feeling totally good about it. Of course it is that old devil “fear”! Fear that it won’t do well and so I haven’t allowed myself to be too hopeful about it. Why? Well, I wrote a book over 13 years ago. A book that I know was Holy Spirit led, because there was such a struggle to be honest and transparent in this book. Finally 4 years ago, I dusted it off and entered a book writing contest a major Christian publisher held. At first I was a semifinalist and then a finalist—but I didn’t win. I was devastated, because I thought to myself, “This is it! Finally it will be published.” But it wasn’t, and my confidence in my writing and God weaned a bit. More so in God—I think.

With my latest venture, God has exposed my heart to me. He has shown me the fear that is there and how it is stealing my joy and focus to get things done. There are writing dreams I’ve had for years, but most were placed on hold so I could focus on raising my daughters. Homeschooling, private schools, and everyday living came into play. And then there were those times I did try to follow a dream and things just didn’t work out for me—so bit-by-bit it has chipped away at my confidence and my faith that God was interested in my writing.

As the Lord shinned his light on the problem, I’ve made a change in my attitude and have gotten a “second wind”. Yes, a second wind to dream! I now have increased energy and strength after feeling tired and weak—this is what a spiritual second wind looks like. I started focusing on all that the Word of God has to say about His love and plans for me. I’ve had to change my mindset and shake off the cobwebs of things past. I let the words of my brother Paul, inspire me to keep going. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)  

This “second wind” has given me the courage to dream again (minus the fear) and have hope that my book will do well. But if for some reason it doesn’t—I will still move forward in my writing. But I’m not stopping there. I’ve always wanted to live somewhere else other than the State of Pennsylvania and I’ve also started to look at relocating. The beauty of being a writer is—you can live almost anywhere. I’m picking up some of those good dreams I thought were lost to me.

Sisters, we all experience disappointment and failed dreams. That is just a part of living, but it doesn’t mean it’s too late for some of them to come true. Don’t let the world or anyone tell you, “You can’t” or “You’re too old!” Let God define what you can and cannot do.

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Until nest week!

Blessings and Hugs......Ponnie

CLUTTER

Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self! ~Eleanor Brownn~

Wow!! When I first read this quote by Eleanor Brownn, it hit me like a ton of bricks! It made me stop and think about the things we as daughters of the King live with on a daily bases that doesn’t support the better us!

I chose this week’s photo because it’s a very good representation of what the inside of some of us looks like or a relationship we are in. It does give you a sense of emotional clutter as well as physical.

Housing and holding on to Old Ideas, is most defiantly living in the past.

Continually allowing Bad Habits to have rule gets us nowhere?

Toxic Relationships can affect everything about us!

Letting go seems to be very hard for people. Have you ever watched one of the hoarder shows? It’s amazing what people cling too. Same thing goes for toxic relationships. Women stay in marriages and relationships where they are physically and mentally abused for years. Many families have toxic relationships that just bring out the worst in everyone. Friendships can be summed up as toxic when one uses the other and never brings anything good or worthwhile to the table.

Bad habits become a way of life and gain rule over us. On many levels we realize they are there, but often don’t have the courage or conviction to make change.

Hanging on to old ideas stagnates and stunts our growth, yet we can still refuse to let go.

Why is that?

Fear!

This is the type of “Fear” Timothy warns us about, the type of fear that hinders and can paralyze us. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Women stay in toxic marriages and relationships out of fear of being alone. Often married women fear how they will make it on their own, especially if they have children. Some women are so desperate to be attached to someone (their self-esteem is so low) they view the abuse as a viable option to being alone.

It can be scary to have to move on and leave family and old friends behind—but many times that is what’s needed. As a parent you might need to put someone out of your house. When Jesus became prominent in my life, I lost ALL my friends, and I do mean ALL. That shows you what type of life I was living. I drank a lot ( way too much), smoked, cussed, partied, gossiped, had sex outside of marriage, was petty, unforgiving, envious of others, vindictive and just hung out with folks that by God’s standard were pure heathens! But then Christ got a hold of me, and I did become a new creature. And bit, by bit, I moved away from most of them and the others moved away from me. You see, I was no longer fun and one of them.

I did try to hold on to some even though I knew they were not good for me. Why? Out of fear of not having any friends—fear of being lonely. And you know what? I was lonely for a period of time. But it was a time of purging on God’s part and they were all replaced by daughters of the King, “aka” mighty women of God!

At the time I had a best friend of over 17 years, and I really didn’t want to lose her, but the more I talked to her and listen to her cuss up a storm the more I realized I had to cut back on our conversations, because I was putting down “fitly” communications. The more she gossiped about others, the more I realized we were drifting apart. And then eventually I saw with clear eyes (because I no longer walked in darkness) that our friendship had been built on all things that were an assault to Christ and I had to let her go.

Now I tell you sisters, God replaced her with a best friend and mentor whose friendship is going on 24 years now. And He replaced all the others too. (See August 16, 2013, blog: Collective Wisdom,)

I had to let go of my old way of thinking and allow my mind to be continuously renewed by the Word of God. Old ideas and old ways of thinking were no longer acceptable in the Kingdom if I wanted to grow and move forward in Christ.

The breaking of old habits is the work in progress that we are, but that can’t be an excuse to stay enveloped in them. We must keep striving to reach a higher mark in life as Believers; we cannot allow the “clutter” to takeover and run our lives.

Sisters, what clutter do you have in your lives that is not supporting the “better you”? What clutter is tearing you down and holding you back? Once you have honestly answered these questions, then it is time to step out in faith to make change and let go.

We don’t have to be afraid of the unknown, because it is all known to God. Don’t be afraid to let old friends and some family members go. There are times it just has to be done. Don’t be afraid to get to a safe haven if you are being abused. It is not God’s will for anyone to be abused. Don’t be afraid to put an old dream to rest and move forward into something new. Remember what the Lord has told us, “Fear Not!”

Oh, and if the picture I used today reflects your home or bedroom in anyway—you really need to start there and get it cleaned up. Why? Because it truly is a reflection of things going on inside. Amen.

Blessings and Hugs

Until next week......Ponnie

DISTRACTED

Today we live in a world that is full of noise and distractions and at times we are hard pressed for a little peace and quiet. I grew up in an era when everyone had quiet time. In fact it was a big part of life. On Sundays after church or Sunday school, you came home and changed your clothes (back then we saved our best for Sunday or special occasions) ate and spent the rest of the day being quiet, reading and waiting for the Ted Mack and Ed Sullivan TV shows. When the weather was nice we could sit outside on the porch or steps, but we didn’t run up and down the street, jump rope, play hop scotch or ride our bikes as we did the other days of the week. Sundays were peaceful.

In today’s world there’s so much noise and so many distractions vying for our attention and time. Distraction: a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. Yup, that’s our world, full of things that prevent us from giving full attention to the things we need too. And worst of all, we often can’t hear ourselves think. And if we can’t hear ourselves think, then how can we hear the small quiet voice of our Messiah?

 Jesus himself said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27) “And they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” (John 10:5)

Again I ask, “If we can hardly hear ourselves think, then how can we hear the small still voice of the Lord?”

It’s impossible to have a steady diet of junk food and be healthy. It’s also the same for our spiritual wellbeing. What goes in—is what comes out. Going to church one day a week and never reading the Bible the rest of the work, does not build strong spiritual muscles anymore than going to the gym once a week and gorging on food the rest of the week, builds strong muscles. But that is what many of us do. We don’t attend Bible study or read any books that will help us grow in the ways of the Lord so that we will know the difference between His voice and that of a stranger.

The most familiar strangers we listen to and follow are the TV, internet, tweeter, Facebook, newspapers, and all sorts of social media. We are fed a daily diet of lies and misconceptions. We watch movies and TV shows that have nothing good to offer us and allow them to eat away at what truth we do know to be right. We are so distracted by our phones, email and text messages we can hardly eat and have conversation with others without being interrupted by some type of electronic devices. Yet we wonder why we are encountering so many difficulties in our lives?

It is impossible to know the voice of the Good Shepherd if you don’t spend time with Him. It is the same in the natural—we recognize the voices of those we talk to and interact with regularly. And we don’t recognize the voice of the telemarketer or person who has dialed the wrong number.  In a crowded store a woman can hear the word, “Mom” and know if it is her child calling her or it is meant for someone else. So, we do know voices and who they belong too. But it takes relationship to get to that point.

If we have time to play Candy Crush, interact on Facebook, tweet, text, read emails, watch TV and or movies, then we have time to spend with the Messiah, learning His voice. It’s just that we can be lazy and self-indulgent when it comes to the work needed for a good relationship with Him. But then again, as a young single woman I remember spending hours talking on the phone to a man of my choice. So, it really boils down to what we think is important.

Sisters, going to church once a week is not enough to have a close relationship with the Messiah! Doing our own thing all week long only gets us into trouble and prevents us from living the good life. Stop making poor decisions (of your own emotional making) and saying you prayed and this is what God told you to do. You are deceived! And you know how you can tell—at the end—your schemes never work out! You find yourself in the same place as you were before. You keep going around in circles. There’s no real peace or joy in your life, and you’re overwhelmed and sad.

If we want things to change in our lives we must make the decision to get to know the one who died for us. Spend time with Him—fall in love with Him. Turn off those things that distract us from being with Him. Get to truly know His voice and be able to follow Him and not strangers or the deceitfulness of our own hearts.

The more time we spend with our true Love, the more we want to do things His way. The more our hearts change and the wiser we become. And we understand that sin only brings heartache and grave consequences and it is in our own best interest to do things God’s way. The more time we spend with the Good Shepherd the more we will follow Him and run from the voice of strangers or our deceitful hearts. Amen!

Blessings and Hugs

Until next week......