DREAM

The song of the week is Tehillim 23 (Psalm 23) sung in Hebrew…close your eyes and envision David writing and singing this beautiful song...

Because I had my second child at 40, I am now just coming into the possibility of having an empty nest in 2015 at age 62. By some standards I’m sort of late for this juncture in life, but not really because over the years I have met many women who had children in their forties. But lately I’ve found myself asking the Lord, “What will an empty nest look like for me?”

I’m not asking out of fear or any type of trepidation, because the truth is—I will finally be free in many ways. With my children being 18 years apart I will have been a single mom non-stop for 40 years in 2015. For me it has been 40 years of sacrifice and often being on the back burner. And this past year I’ve found myself becoming weary and a bit tired. But I am so grateful I serve a God who will not allow me to stay in that mindset.

There are times we can feel lost when the life we once knew changes and to me this is a normal response. But the trick is not to let it swallow you up and define you in a negative way.

God doesn’t put an age limit on us, in fact He has shown us through His Word, what awesome and miraculous things He can do with those who are deemed “too old”. We have great examples through the lives of Mosses, Joshua and Sarah. Mosses was 80 years old when the Lord called him from the pasture as a sheepherder to be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. So why do we feel we’ve missed our time, just because we are older or years have passed? I personally think it is because we live in a society that worships youth and formal education and we can easily find ourselves buying into the world’s point of view without really thinking about it. But the truth is…none of it has anything to do with what God has to say about us!

I am currently working on an e-book to be published prayerfully in April. But there is a part of me that has been holding back in feeling totally good about it. Of course it is that old devil “fear”! Fear that it won’t do well and so I haven’t allowed myself to be too hopeful about it. Why? Well, I wrote a book over 13 years ago. A book that I know was Holy Spirit led, because there was such a struggle to be honest and transparent in this book. Finally 4 years ago, I dusted it off and entered a book writing contest a major Christian publisher held. At first I was a semifinalist and then a finalist—but I didn’t win. I was devastated, because I thought to myself, “This is it! Finally it will be published.” But it wasn’t, and my confidence in my writing and God weaned a bit. More so in God—I think.

With my latest venture, God has exposed my heart to me. He has shown me the fear that is there and how it is stealing my joy and focus to get things done. There are writing dreams I’ve had for years, but most were placed on hold so I could focus on raising my daughters. Homeschooling, private schools, and everyday living came into play. And then there were those times I did try to follow a dream and things just didn’t work out for me—so bit-by-bit it has chipped away at my confidence and my faith that God was interested in my writing.

As the Lord shinned his light on the problem, I’ve made a change in my attitude and have gotten a “second wind”. Yes, a second wind to dream! I now have increased energy and strength after feeling tired and weak—this is what a spiritual second wind looks like. I started focusing on all that the Word of God has to say about His love and plans for me. I’ve had to change my mindset and shake off the cobwebs of things past. I let the words of my brother Paul, inspire me to keep going. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)  

This “second wind” has given me the courage to dream again (minus the fear) and have hope that my book will do well. But if for some reason it doesn’t—I will still move forward in my writing. But I’m not stopping there. I’ve always wanted to live somewhere else other than the State of Pennsylvania and I’ve also started to look at relocating. The beauty of being a writer is—you can live almost anywhere. I’m picking up some of those good dreams I thought were lost to me.

Sisters, we all experience disappointment and failed dreams. That is just a part of living, but it doesn’t mean it’s too late for some of them to come true. Don’t let the world or anyone tell you, “You can’t” or “You’re too old!” Let God define what you can and cannot do.

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Until nest week!

Blessings and Hugs......Ponnie