FEAR—That Sneaky Little Devil

As many of you already know, I often like to supply the definition for a particular word or theme to my blogs. I do this, not because I think my readers are not well informed or don't have substantial word vocabularies—no! I do it simply to put us on one accord as to where I’m coming from. After all—one word can mean different things to many different people. So when I started to define “fear” from the Webster’s point of view I realized it would never do! As Believers, when we experience the type of fear that paralyzes us and or stops us from moving forward and succeeding—it all boils down to—low self-confidence and mostly a lack of trust in God.

Some of us are so fearful about life we can’t see or think straight! And then there are those of us, who don’t realize how fearful we are or have become over the years.

I didn’t plan how 2014 would be (don’t make New Year’s resolutions), only that I wanted to soar more than I have been. And by the Holy Spirit’s direction and guidance, I see it is turning into a face-my-fears, and jump-out-of-my-comfort-zone kind of year.

It started back in October 2013, and continues to be a combination of big things and little things.

An example of a little fear is my crocheting an infinity scarf. I’ve only done baby blankets and throws...all off the same pattern I learned 15 years ago so I could crochet a baby blanket for my first granddaughter.  And in all these years, I’ve done the same pattern so many times I’ve lost count. Sure, I change the colors and patterns of the colors so no two babies have the same design—but that’s about it. Recently a dear friend, (who can crochet and knit her butt off), encouraged me to step out when I saw a beautiful infinity scarf on Facebook. She encouraged me to try it, using the fans that I am familiar with. I was excited because using the familiar gave me the courage to try. Of course sisters, it was not that easy—it never is! LOL!

When I went shopping for the yarn she suggested, I found out it was a soft yarn (home spun). My heart sank as I looked at all the beautiful colors they had. I hate using “soft yarn”! Why? I did a baby blanket once using it, and it gave me a fit. I found it much harder to work with and it snagged a lot. When I finally did finish the blanket it was beautiful to say the least, but I had made a statement to God about never using it again—or something to that effect!  But the Holy Spirit didn’t let me off the hook, He encouraged me to get it—so I did.

Is it snagging? Yes! And when I found myself being discouraged, He spoke to me again and said, “You can do this.” so, I agreed with Him and I’m doing it. Also my friend Marcia reminded me that often “We must work harder for the more beautiful things.”

The big fear I’m currently working on is—a 4 week writing course! I wasn’t fearful in taking the course, (it’s been a desire of mine for over a year), it’s the fear of failing the course. My first online session was Thursday, February 12^th, and I thought I would pass out once I started reading the lecture. I was overwhelmed with a flood of self-doubt. And to top it off, our instructor asked everyone to introduce themselves on our message board. Once I started reading that some were already published, most have some type of degree, and several are world travelers and live in other countries—I was overcome with feelings of inferiority and a great sense of insecurity, which was the “Cherry on top”!

For a moment it was almost impossible for me to remember to see myself as God sees me and that all those other people and their degrees had nothing to do with me—at all!

Truthfully girls—it was a rough day!!

God being the loving and caring Father that He is did not leave me flailing. No, He made sure I was encouraged in a huge way. As I finished reading the lecture, I was pleased to see that salesmanship was one of the biggest skills a copywriter could have. That was right up my alley. I am a natural born salesperson, with a lot of experience in retail and marketing. Bingo! The onslaught of negative emotions and thoughts (my fears) began to ease up and I was able to see the light the Holy Spirit was shinning for me.

My first week’s writing assignment was a simple one, but loaded with research. And I am very grateful for that. Already I’ve had to start the process of moving out of a comfort zone and paying more attention to some things than others. I’ve opened an instragram account (need to be part of that world as a copywriter), don’t know how to use it yet though, but I opened it. ~Smile~

If we take one day at a time, we will continually make progress. I don’t have a clue as to what this Thursday’s class will entail or what we are going to do with our research. I’m not even sure  I picked the right product and company as my project for the next 3 weeks? But I do know that God is with me. I have great assurance the Holy Spirit will help and guide me all the way. And Jesus, our High Priest is cheering me on as I remember I have access through Him, to every spiritual blessing in heaven. But so do you my dear sisters—so do you!

If the fear of failing and self-doubt have been holding you back from moving forward, it's time to look them square in the eyes and step out on faith.

Until next week

Love & Hugs.....Ponnie