No, I didn’t make a mistake by adding “the” to the title. We have all been guilty of being afraid of change at some point in our lives. But I’m not so sure we take time to look at the fear one might have when it comes to a particular aspect of the unknown? And that is where; Afraid of the Changecame from, versus Afraid of Change.
Presently I have a deep growing desire to have my own place
again. Now that in itself is not frightening at all, but the particulars seem
to be—so you see I’m not afraid of a change, but I’m starting to wonder about the change itself.
In my last home, I had a lovely bathroom with a deep soaking spa tub. And compared to most bathrooms in a 3 bedroom row house in the city of Philadelphia, it was pretty large. Everyone who used my bathroom for the first time was always amazed and complimented me on it.
HGTV introduced me to the jet tubs. And being a girl who loves a long soaking, candle lit bath, I feel in love. But here’s the deal…I never asked God for a spa tub. So when I got it, I was thrilled! But there was something I really wanted, and I asked God for, but didn’t get for years—an outside porch to sit on.
I was raised in a typical Philly row house with an outside porch. Sitting on the porch was a favorite pastime for everyone in my neighborhood block. Even my Nana had a porch with beautiful plants and lovely outdoor furniture. I remember playing board games and jacks with friends, sitting out late at night talking and waiting for the Mr. Softy or Italian water ice trucks
to come around. Up until 2 ½ years ago, I had been without a porch to sit on and enjoy for 18 years.
The house I live in with my oldest daughter does not have a soaker tub let alone jets. In fact the tub is so shallow; you really don’t want to take a bath in it. I do miss having a nice tub to soak in, but it seems I get a deeper enjoyment from the 6 – 7 months I get to sit outside on the porch.
And my new found love of creating a beautiful environment with flowers has been very rewarding. And as much as I want my own place again, I have this nagging fear of losing the one thing I really love about where I am now.
Again I find myself not trusting that God will give me His best. This fear is mudding up the waters of my excitement and anticipation for my new home. It’s hindering me from unleashing high expectations as to what God is going to do! In simple English—I’m afraid of what might be missing or lost in “the” change.
I have often looked at the scripture, which tells us not to give the devil a foothold or any place in our lives as talking about going back to old sins, knowingly choosing the wrong thing when faced
with what’s right or wrong, playing around with temptation and so forth. But not so much how being a little afraid, is giving the devil place for a foothold. But you know what my dear sisters—it is!!!
It seems that overtime; I have become a fearful mess. I’m not a scary type person and would still like to think I would standup when I should, but it seems in the deep recesses of my heart and mind—I have not been the diligent guard I should have been. When did it start happening? I really can’t say, but I am grateful it can be corrected and turned around.
Reading books that help us understand God and our relationship with him can be good, but they can’t replace reading the Bible or a good Bible study. And we must grasp with all our hearts how much the need for honest and open prayer with God is as essential as air and water, if we are to remain fearless and survive spiritually.
God: “Ponnie, I know the plans I have for you, ones to prosper you and bring you no harm. My plans for your life will give you hope and a future.”
Ponnie: “I believe Lord, but forgive my unbelief!”
This new insight has led me to go back and meditate on Jeremiah 29:11, because either I trust God or I don’t! And it is time to really take a hard look at the parts where I don’t, and why!
To have the Holy Spirit of God show me how afraid I have become and what a hindrance it is to my present and future hope, has not been easy to swallow. It has taken courage to be so transparent with you girls in my last 3 blogs and fess up to this ugly truth—that’s been the hard part. But on
the flipside the freedom that comes with the truth and forthrightness, outweighs the hard part and takes away any shame.
My dear sisters, as long as fear has any place, it will darken our hope and how we view the future, so don’t allow any type of fear (no matter how small) have a foothold in your life.
Decide today you will no longer give place to fear or let it hold you back in anyway. Declare to fight back the doubts against God’s love and promises to you—resist the devil and he will flee. And when he comes back (because he will be back) whip him again with God’s mighty Word and promises. Amen!
Until next week
Love and Hugs.....Ponnie
Until next week
Love and Hugs.....Ponnie
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