Nope you didn’t miss “slow to speak” I have taken them out of order because anger and unforgiveness can be a root as to why we don’t stop and think about what we are getting ready to say.
Anger….a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility, rage, vexation, exasperation, displeasure, crossness, irritation, irritability and the list goes on! If I were to list all the different variables for anger we could call it the 50 Shades of Anger. Anger can be a mild form of irritation or full blown burst of rage. Either way, it spells trouble!
Earlier this year I went to a brunch with a friend and found myself very disappointed. For the price it was not what I was used too and when we arrived all the food was gone. It was only one half an hour from when it started and was scheduled for 2 hours. When more food did come out I didn’t eat anything and barely got a cup of coffee so I asked for my money back. At this point I was in the realm of “displeasure”. At the time the person in charge had her hand on my shoulder and I could feel her take an extremely deep breath, pause and then answered, “Sure Sister Ponnie, you can have your money back.” I really did appreciate her taking that deep breath before answering, because if she had not agreed, there was the grave possibility my displeasure would have crossed over to irritability, and irritability is just not a good color on me. But her soft and agreeable answer was just what the situation needed.
Cussing and throwing things at your husband, most defiantly falls in the realm of “Rage”! Throwing his clothes onto the lawn is vexation. Shaking your child and beating them while yelling insults and curses is a rage that is out of control. It is sin at its ugliest.
Calling anyone who will listen to you assassinate and destroy a person’s character because they have wronged you is an anger fueled by unforgiveness.
Some of us have deep rooted anger that has been festering for many years. When you own this type of anger it becomes your everyday filter. It’s always with you. Telling you it is okay to be rude and sharp tongued. It cosigns how critical you are of others, yet never allows you to accept constructive criticism with grace and love.
There is a large group of us who are just overwhelmed with life. Dealing with the stresses of caring for a sick parent, the daily challenges of single parenting, you wish your husband would do more, stuck in a job you hate, or life is nothing like you had hoped.
Do you find yourself easily angered with those closest to you? Do you quickly give into the emotions fueled by your anger? Are you rude, mouthy and disrespectful to your husband? Do you scream at your children a lot? Is everyone in your house walking on eggshells, because the smallest of things will set you off? If so, it’s time for things to change!
Personally I can go from 0 to 80 with the snap of my fingers with my 20 year old daughter. Most of it stems from my frustration with her not doing things in the manner I expect, or her answering me back. We are in that peculiar stage where she is no longer a child, but not as grown as she thinks she is. Like most college students she is still very dependent on me, but at the same time she is moving into discovering who she is as a young woman. Our time together is sporadic because she lives on campus and we see each other here and there until the summer and then we are back to living together. With each passing summer there seems to be more of an adjustment needed because not only is she changing, but so am I.
My daughter hates when I raise my voice at her and truthfully so do I. It doesn’t feel good when I’m angry with her, especially when I have flown off the handle. How do I plan to change this? Prayer and better communication for both of us. And without a doubt some deep breaths on my part! I am so looking forward to the summer of 2014 being different and much better as we move forward in our relationship reflecting the love of Christ in all aspects.
God is never pleased when we behave poorly and we shouldn’t be either. We can’t allow anger to rule and be justified as acceptable because of the circumstances that invoked us. We must take a long look as to why we are struggling with anger in our lives, no matter how small or how big.
Proverbs tells us “an angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”. We don’t want to be that person, we should rather desire to be a I Peter 3:3-4 kind of woman…” 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Sisters, it is time to kick the urge to go from 0 to 100 because anger has rule over us. It is time to take deep breaths, pause and respond to people in a way that is pleasing to God and beneficial to others. Amen!
Next week: All about being slow to speak, until then….be blessed!!
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
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