TWO WORDS!

There are two words that seem to be so hard for people to utter, “I’m sorry” “I apologize” “Forgive me.”

The women in my family were not good at apologizing to each other, let alone us kids. They would have falling outs and as time passed someone would make a call or do something nice for the other and that would be accepted as “Well, that’s her way of saying, “She’s sorry.”

I have realized over the years that I am not the only one who has been exposed to this type of “stinking” thinking, because as an adult I still see it and hear the same thing all the time, “That’s her way of saying, she’s sorry.” I guess this is acceptable behavior for those who live by the world’s standard, but for those of us who claim to be residents of God’s Kingdom; this is not acceptable—at ALL.

There really is only one thing that stops us from apologizing when we have wronged someone. Pride! That’s it…Pride. It also stops us when we are not the one at fault but should still be a peacemaker and apologize to make things right. We look at how we might be perceived as being weak. But in truth, we are really being strong. It takes a lot of help from the Holy Spirit to be able to go to someone you know is at fault and apologize for anything you may have done to them. That is not a sign of weakness to God; it is a move of obedience and humility. Being humble in spirit doesn’t mean that you become a doormat, trash can or fire hydrant. It means that you submit to the will of God, putting aside how you think others may perceive you.

Now there are cases when you must forgive, but walk away from people. It might be for a season or it might be forever. I am not talking about those situations, but I am talking about our everyday relationships with people. Wives, how long do you stay angry with your husband after a disagreement? How often are you disobedient to the command, to not let the sun go down on your anger against your man? How often does your pride say, “I’m not apologizing to him, I said, “I was sorry” first, last time?”

We all have experienced some type of conflict in our lives where we have been mistreated or misunderstood in one way or another. The spectrum is vast, bosses, coworkers, church leaders, church members, friends, neighbors, husbands, children, sibs, mothers, father, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. This is just a part of every day life. If not, I don’t think the Bible would have so much to say about how blessed the peacemaker will be and how we are to live in peace as long as it is without our power. Being a peacemaker means you have to say, “Forgive me” even when in reality, you should be hearing it, versus saying it. But a humble spirit is more easily moved to make peace.

I have a family member that over the years the Lord has made me apologize and reach out to so many times I really have lost count. Having a relationship with them meant always walking on egg shells, because the least little thing could set them off. It took awhile, but I began to see the deep rooted problems this person had and that God had a purpose as to why I always had to apologize when it was so obvious they started it and or was the problem. There was also a time when I just really didn’t want to be bothered at all with them, because it was always something. But God insisted that I not withdraw and be willing to interact with them. He insisted I forgive and show the same love and long suffering He has shown me. Now, how could I not do what He asked, after He put it that way? ~Smile~ But then one day God said, “Let it go.” Truth be told, I was very relieved, because I was tired of them. Have you ever been tired of a person? I hear all the “Amens” out there. LOL!! Yes, we do get tired of difficult people and their ways. But, until God allowed space between us, I did not have the right to take it.

I shared my life situation with you, because I know first hand what it is to continuously deal with someone who I felt God should have made apologize to me years ago. Yes, I said it! Why? Because that was how I felt, especially in the early years of my walk with Him. “Why God? Why do I always have to apologize when they are being so mean? They claim you are their Father too, so why do you let them get away with this?” But the truth is no one gets away with anything in the Kingdom. Whatsoever a man sows that shall he reap.

What God did for me in all of this, was humble my proud heart and teach me to be able to (in most cases) quickly be able to apologize. Especially when I am wrong, and even more so when I am not. He used this life situation to show me what true forgiveness looks like and how to move forward with people, leaving behind their past offenses. Because of this hard relationship, I have had much better relationships with others in my life. Conflicts (though they are inevitable) do not rule in my life, and when one does come along, I am able to reach out to work it out.

Sisters, don’t let pride hinder your relationship with God. Yes, it does. God hates pride; the Bible tells us this in more than one place. When we are not able to apologize to others, (especially when we are in the wrong) then we are not inclined to ask God for forgiveness in areas of sin in our own lives. Why? Because our pride holds us back from even admitting we are wrong. Our relationships with people are a reflection of our relationship with God.

Because I was not raised to admit my wrongs and if you were convicted that you might be wrong, then you did something nice or tried to reconnect with that person. But that is not God’s MO, (motive of operation) of doing things. He knew I had never been taught the right way and what I knew to do would not hold up in His Kingdom, so He did what He did, to make me look more like Him.

Not only are others watching us, but our children are watching and they need to see us be quick to make amends even when we are wronged. They need to hear us apologize to them for not being fair to them in our anger, or whenever we just mess up as parents. I don’t want Tovah to have to learn to forgive and be a peacemaker as I did.

There are times when we try to make peace and apologize, but the other party wants nothing to do with us. Their rejection might hurt for a moment, but there is nothing you can do about that but pray. But you can rest assured that your obedience to try to make amends, was pleasing to God and He will handle the rest. You are just responsible for yourself.

When the day comes that the person in my life has grown in the Lord and approaches me to make amends, (or God comes back to me for me to go to them), either way my heart is open and willing to receive. Always be willing for reconciliation with others.

If there is someone in your life who you have turned a stubborn or proud heart against, it is time my dear sisters to make amends. It doesn’t matter how many times they have gotten on your nerves or offended. If the Holy Spirit has been nudging you to make peace, please listen and be obedient. If you are in the wrong, don’t justify it as being okay because of the past things they have done to you. After all, it can take as little as “two words” to make peace.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Monday's Blog: Sasha, "Healthy Lifestyles