TEARS....

You were probably looking for Cheryl today, but she’s taking sometime off. If you read her blog two weeks ago then you know she is now homeschooling her 3 nephews along with her 2 boys….phew! So, like all good teachers who find themselves with more students then the year before, there is a great adjustment to make and leisurely time to write a blog just isn’t there. So, hopefully she will be able to give us a couple of “guest” pieces this school year. Cheryl, we wish you the best and really do look forward to hearing how things are coming along. Sasha and I are now the main bloggers for “Homeschool Thursday”. Hold onto your hats ladies, this might turnout to be one bumpy ride…LOL!!!

Tears are something that is very common place in homeschooling. It can be the student or it can be mom. There might even be a day where it is both. ~Smile~ Now you might assume that when someone is crying that is not good, but the truth is—it can be a good thing.

Last week my granddaughter cried because she was very frustrated over her math. Variables seem to be giving her a bit of a problem. When she started to cry I told her to go upstairs and have a good cry. We were blessed that Tovah was home and I asked her to go in and talk to her. See, Tovah had a hard time with Algebra in 8th grade and she remembers the tears too, but she was also able to tell her niece that with tutoring she ended up with all “A’s”! She encouraged her that if she just kept plugging away, she was going to get it. This was all good because she got to cry out her frustration and she was also given hope that things will change.

I started homeschooling Tovah in 2nd grade and the curriculum that I chose had already started preparing the students in 1st grade to write in cursive and so Tovah had a little bit of catching up to do in that area. In her basic subjects Tovah was doing all 3rd grade work, and some of her lessons were to be written in cursive. This sort of threw a monkey wrench in the works for us. It caused me to push her really hard in writing in cursive when she was doing the best she could for her age. One day she burst into tears after I fussed with her about penmanship. It made me feel like such a failure as a mother and then I began to doubt if I had really heard God in homeschooling her. So, I went in my bedroom and cried for her and me.

The blessing was that I had school teachers in my life who I went to with the problem and when they all said that 2nd and 3rd grade was pretty early for demanding so much to be written in cursive — I felt much better. And one friend came over to see Tovah’s work and reassured me that for her age and motor skills she was doing excellent work.

I just want to encourage homeschool moms who find themselves crying or their children crying that it is okay and it comes with the territory. And not to let the bumps cause you to doubt what God has told you to do. My first year of homeschooling was a rollercoaster ride when it came to “Did I hear God right on this?” Every time I found myself at a hurdle (whether my finances or homeschooling itself) I would begin to doubt God and myself.

If you are struggling right now because this is your first year of homeschooling or just a more challenging and difficult year, I want you to be encouraged that God is with you. Because you were called to homeschool your child or children, it doesn’t mean that everything will come up roses, but it does mean that you have been obedient to God’s call and with obedience comes a blessing.

Don’t isolate yourself in your feelings, because that is one of the quickest ways to become discouraged. All homeschooling moms need a mentor (one who has been there done that) and a good friend who will listen and encourage you.

Yes, Tovah did learn how to write all assignments required in cursive by the end of the school year and she made the honor roll each trimester. But she still writes too small for my liking, (LOL!) yet it hasn’t caused her any problems in high school. ~Smile~


Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Next Thruday: Another great homeschooling story, but you will have to tune in to see who writes it! ~Smile~

Friday's Blog: A special on Abortion

"You...complete me!"

Do you remember the movie Jerry Maguire, and the infamous scene where Tom Cruise looks Renée Zellweger deep in her eyes and says, “You complete me!” The sad thing about this is that way too many women bought into that foolishness back in the 90’s and it’s still messing us up today.

It is one thing to be bored or not quite satisfied with life because of how things are going or not going when you are a resident in the Kingdom of God. But it is another thing to be sad and unhappy because you don’t have a man telling you, “You complete me.”

Sometimes I become weary of hearing single women “whine” because they are not hooked up, engaged or married. Pleassse enough already! Get over it!! I know that sounds so harsh, but the truth is we need to stop bellyaching about such things and grow up. There are times we just need a big dose of reality and God’s truth, still clothed in love, but nonetheless a reality check.

First off sisters, everyone woman is not going to be married. That is a “fact of life,” that even the world seems to understand. Their remedy for this situation is called “shack up.” They have even gone so far as to have a movement of writing “prenups” (prenuptial agreement) for people who plan to live together. That’s right! A book came out this year (written by a lawyer) on when and how to use a prenup before you move in together. Okay, since we know that living as man and wife and you are not married is a sin and not an option for a “Daughter of the King,” so then how do we handle the fact that marriage may not be on the horizon?

Well, for one we need to stop letting the world and others be our measuring stick. The Bible must be the ruler of how we measure our lives. “You complete me,” are words that only ring true to our relationship with the Messiah. There is not one human being on this earth who will ever be able to complete another human being. I think that once we can come to that conclusion then we will be well be on our way to the good life. So, guess what I did to help you? I looked up the definition for the word “romance”.

Girls, I was surprised and utterly amazed at what I found, and I used a good World Book (the encyclopedia people) dictionary. And guess what? Romance is made up! Did you hear me? Romance is referred to poems, stories and songs. The definitions were numerous but it all boiled down to the fact that “romance” was made up. Now that ought to tell us something. But I didn’t stop there, I did a word search on “Biblegateway.com” and guess what? I couldn’t find the word “romance’ or “romantic” in any of their English Bible translations. Hum, so what does this mean? STOP desiring and looking for romance! There is no such thing! It is all make believe! Wow!! I hope you girls are getting this.

The desire for romance in our lives causes real problems, especially since it is non-existent. It’s make believe, just like in all the soap operas, romance novels, movies and TV shows. Pure fiction!

Our Lord is the only one we can look at and say with truth, “You complete me!” So if you’ve been unhappy because you want a little romance in your life, now is the time to get over it!! Sorry, no such thing!!

Where do we go from here? Try looking deeper into your relationship with the One who really does complete you. See what you can find there that makes life better for you.

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Hope to sit with you again on Wednesday, October 13th.

Thursday's Blog: Ponnie, "Homeschooling"

TODAY......

Saturday, September 25th…a dear friend is saying “Goodbye” to her mother. Another friend is partying with friends and family from different parts of the country, celebrating her “40th birthday.” Another friend is playing at a wedding and I’m under the weather.

I find it very fascinating how in the same day lives can be so very different.

Saturday was an Ecclesiastes 3:4 day for sure; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. There were tears of joy at the weeding, laughter and dancing, and maybe a little mourning on the parent’s side as their daughter was now a married lady and no longer their little girl. The birthday celebration also had tears of joy and much laughter. The “Farewell until I see you in glory” had tears of sorrow and maybe some of joy, for our sister Gladys is now in a better place and healed. There might even have been some bitter sweet tears of laughter as old times were remembered, but there still remains a time to mourn.

Monday, September 27th….out of the four examples I used, I was probably the only one who was trying to rush the day away. Why? I didn’t feel well and I looked forward to my healing as the days passed by. I guess I would have to say for me, I was mourning the loss of my plans for the weekend (wasn’t up to doing them) and the loss of my body feeling at it’s best. I didn’t laugh much nor did I cry. I guess I could have put on some music and danced? Naw, my head was too stuffy for that, so I would have to sum it all up to a day of mourning about what could have been.

I believe that the birthday girl and the bride probably wished they could have frozen their day in time for all the joy they had and the sister who said, “Goodbye” knew it was a day that had to be and there was no getting around it. So, it seems that I was the only one who really didn’t appreciate the day that was gifted me. I don’t remember being all that grateful or being filled with thanksgiving. Hummm, how easy it is to slip into old mindsets and behaviors. I wasn’t really living in Saturday so much as to what Sunday would bring. But the tricky part here is….Sunday was never promised to me, so I would have to say, “I missed out.”

Missing out is what we do when we forget to live in “Today.” Why? Well, for a host of different reasons, but I think Jesus sums it up the best, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt 6:34)

Our birthday girl found a lump in her breast a few weeks ago and considered canceling her celebration plans. Why? For a minute she was worrying about tomorrow instead of dealing with the trouble (lump found) of that day. After deciding to live in “today” she didn’t cancel her upcoming celebration and it turned out that she had so much to celebrate. (Her outcome: a cyst not a cancerous tumor—Praise God!) But her initial reaction was not unique; in fact it was most typical of how we react as humans. She was first scared and then began to let her imagination run wild; to the point she had a scenario where she would not be able to attend her celebration. This is what Jesus is trying to save us from — jumping off the deep end, when a crisis appears and times are tough. Worrying about things we cannot change and worrying about things we know nothing about. Really, what do we know about tomorrow? We may have hopes and plans for tomorrow, but there are no guarantees.

Today is Tuesday, September 28th…..are you handling today or worrying about tomorrow?


Love & Hugs
Ponnie


Wednesday's Blog: Ponnie, "Single & Loving It!"

What I've Learned

When I was first presented with the opportunity to write for The Kitchen Table, I laughed. “Really,” I thought it was one of the most hilarious requests that I had ever heard in my life. Why? Well, first of all, I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love The Kitchen Table and its ability to reach and encourage women in the Body of Christ all over the world. However, my biggest worry (and the source of my laughter) is that I was asked to write about health and beauty via the Healthy Lifestyles blog. Me—Really? Wow, God and Ponnie have a great sense of humor!

However, after much prayer and consideration, I began to realize — Why not me? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God put it on Ponnie’s heart at all to ask me to come to the table.

You see for the past few years I have been continually seeking a healthier lifestyle for myself. I realize that the process of me becoming “whole” involves good health and while not always successful and as consistent as I want to be; I am always seeking ways and working to improve in those areas. Over the years, I have even joined a couple of online weight loss support groups to help me with my struggles, to learn from those who were successful, and to encourage those who may be struggling as well. One of the latest thoughts that I had was to start blogging about my experiences...again, not only to help me but to encourage others as well—however, I never felt adequate enough to do so because who am I to encourage anyone when I have failed at this process time and time again.

However, God has shown us time and time again that He gives strength to the weak to fulfill his plan, hasn’t he? My reason for doing so doesn’t stop there though.

Many years ago, not sure when, I began to feel the tug on my heart to encourage women and help them grow in the kingdom of God. To be honest, I am still not sure what that means but the desire in me continues to grow daily. I will be the first person to tell anyone that with alllllll of my many issues, I would be the last person to think that I could encourage anyone! However that desire remained and I began to pray earnestly about it asking God to show me a clear path. I even went as far telling the Lord that while I was afraid, whatever He asked me to do, I would do it.

So when Ponnie presented the blog to me, I couldn’t help but chuckle, but my first thought was NO! I didn’t tell her no though (smile), but that I would pray about it. You see, I couldn’t say “No” because I honestly felt like it was a part of God’s plan to put in Ponnie’s heart to ask me in order for Him to continue to work out His plan for me.

So here I am....your health and beauty blogger and what a journey this has been!!

Now, I wrote all of that to prepare you for my original intent of writing to you today. When I first started blogging, my original intent was to write about my journey to become “Fit by Forty” by today, which is my birthday. Yes, today is my 40th birthday! To God be the Glory! Needless to say I didn’t reach all of my goals. The biggest one was to become physically fit and to reach a certain weight and size. Yes, I have lost some weight but not enough for me to consider it success. That’s another blog for another day! *smile*

However, I have grown so much over the past few months and I become overwhelmed with emotion when I think of the growth that I have obtained as a result of my “Fit by Forty” campaign. I just wanted to share with you a few ways that coming to the Kitchen Table has helped me during my journey towards wholeness. As a reminder, my goals were to become FIT-physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially and financially- by Forty.

Physically: I ran my first 5K! Well, truthfully, I ran/walked by first 5K...LOL. However, this is HUGE for me. I pushed myself to do something that I have always wanted to do but never had the courage to do. Honestly, if I hadn’t made a public declaration to do it—I probably wouldn’t have...LOL! Also, in trying to find information to share with you, I have gained a wealth of knowledge and have incorporated that info into a healthier lifestyle for myself.

Emotionally: Writing for this blog has forced me into being very transparent about a lot of things in my life and forced me to look at areas that still need to be addressed. Every writer at the Table has written at least one blog that made me say, “That’s Me!”

Financially: Hmmm...all I can say is, “I thank God for using Sharon (our Finance blogger) to help me with the task of becoming Financially Fit by Forty!” She has challenged me in so many ways and because of those challenges; I have created an emergency fund and started down the path of getting my mortgage (and some other debts) paid off AHEAD of time.

Socially: This one is easy...LOL! I am usually a very shy person but coming to the table has “put me out there” and I am now a little more outgoing—LOL—but as a result I have met some wonderful women.

Last but definitely not least Spiritually: I can sum it up best by saying “All it takes is one simple Yes!” “Yes Lord, to Your Will and to Your Way.” God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways in this journey toward wholeness. You can’t write a Christian blog without reading the Word of God and praying. At least I can’t. As a result of me saying YES to my willingness to write and encourage others, I have grown tremendously. In this past year, I have spent more time in the Word and in prayer so that I am sure to hear what the Holy Spirit says to me as to what I should write about. The added bonus is that the Holy Spirit was able to minister to me about some other things that I needed to deal with as well...ha ha! Not only that, the Lord has used every blogger at the Table to hand-deliver a message from God to me to help to grow in so many areas.

I’m going to have to stop there or else this will turn into a two-parter—I just wanted to give you a glimpse of what it has happened since I have embarked on this journey towards wholeness and my attempt to become “Fit by Forty”.

Before I go, I want to leave you with the Bible verse that has been my guiding scripture while on my “Fit by Forty Campaign”. I hope you will read, meditate on it and apply it to your own lives.

But from there you will search again for the Lord your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him. Deuteronomy 4:29



In sisterly love,
Sasha

I will be back on Monday, October 11th, hope to see you then!


Tuesday's Blog: Ponnie has a special blog for us so please stop by.

TWO WORDS!

There are two words that seem to be so hard for people to utter, “I’m sorry” “I apologize” “Forgive me.”

The women in my family were not good at apologizing to each other, let alone us kids. They would have falling outs and as time passed someone would make a call or do something nice for the other and that would be accepted as “Well, that’s her way of saying, “She’s sorry.”

I have realized over the years that I am not the only one who has been exposed to this type of “stinking” thinking, because as an adult I still see it and hear the same thing all the time, “That’s her way of saying, she’s sorry.” I guess this is acceptable behavior for those who live by the world’s standard, but for those of us who claim to be residents of God’s Kingdom; this is not acceptable—at ALL.

There really is only one thing that stops us from apologizing when we have wronged someone. Pride! That’s it…Pride. It also stops us when we are not the one at fault but should still be a peacemaker and apologize to make things right. We look at how we might be perceived as being weak. But in truth, we are really being strong. It takes a lot of help from the Holy Spirit to be able to go to someone you know is at fault and apologize for anything you may have done to them. That is not a sign of weakness to God; it is a move of obedience and humility. Being humble in spirit doesn’t mean that you become a doormat, trash can or fire hydrant. It means that you submit to the will of God, putting aside how you think others may perceive you.

Now there are cases when you must forgive, but walk away from people. It might be for a season or it might be forever. I am not talking about those situations, but I am talking about our everyday relationships with people. Wives, how long do you stay angry with your husband after a disagreement? How often are you disobedient to the command, to not let the sun go down on your anger against your man? How often does your pride say, “I’m not apologizing to him, I said, “I was sorry” first, last time?”

We all have experienced some type of conflict in our lives where we have been mistreated or misunderstood in one way or another. The spectrum is vast, bosses, coworkers, church leaders, church members, friends, neighbors, husbands, children, sibs, mothers, father, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. This is just a part of every day life. If not, I don’t think the Bible would have so much to say about how blessed the peacemaker will be and how we are to live in peace as long as it is without our power. Being a peacemaker means you have to say, “Forgive me” even when in reality, you should be hearing it, versus saying it. But a humble spirit is more easily moved to make peace.

I have a family member that over the years the Lord has made me apologize and reach out to so many times I really have lost count. Having a relationship with them meant always walking on egg shells, because the least little thing could set them off. It took awhile, but I began to see the deep rooted problems this person had and that God had a purpose as to why I always had to apologize when it was so obvious they started it and or was the problem. There was also a time when I just really didn’t want to be bothered at all with them, because it was always something. But God insisted that I not withdraw and be willing to interact with them. He insisted I forgive and show the same love and long suffering He has shown me. Now, how could I not do what He asked, after He put it that way? ~Smile~ But then one day God said, “Let it go.” Truth be told, I was very relieved, because I was tired of them. Have you ever been tired of a person? I hear all the “Amens” out there. LOL!! Yes, we do get tired of difficult people and their ways. But, until God allowed space between us, I did not have the right to take it.

I shared my life situation with you, because I know first hand what it is to continuously deal with someone who I felt God should have made apologize to me years ago. Yes, I said it! Why? Because that was how I felt, especially in the early years of my walk with Him. “Why God? Why do I always have to apologize when they are being so mean? They claim you are their Father too, so why do you let them get away with this?” But the truth is no one gets away with anything in the Kingdom. Whatsoever a man sows that shall he reap.

What God did for me in all of this, was humble my proud heart and teach me to be able to (in most cases) quickly be able to apologize. Especially when I am wrong, and even more so when I am not. He used this life situation to show me what true forgiveness looks like and how to move forward with people, leaving behind their past offenses. Because of this hard relationship, I have had much better relationships with others in my life. Conflicts (though they are inevitable) do not rule in my life, and when one does come along, I am able to reach out to work it out.

Sisters, don’t let pride hinder your relationship with God. Yes, it does. God hates pride; the Bible tells us this in more than one place. When we are not able to apologize to others, (especially when we are in the wrong) then we are not inclined to ask God for forgiveness in areas of sin in our own lives. Why? Because our pride holds us back from even admitting we are wrong. Our relationships with people are a reflection of our relationship with God.

Because I was not raised to admit my wrongs and if you were convicted that you might be wrong, then you did something nice or tried to reconnect with that person. But that is not God’s MO, (motive of operation) of doing things. He knew I had never been taught the right way and what I knew to do would not hold up in His Kingdom, so He did what He did, to make me look more like Him.

Not only are others watching us, but our children are watching and they need to see us be quick to make amends even when we are wronged. They need to hear us apologize to them for not being fair to them in our anger, or whenever we just mess up as parents. I don’t want Tovah to have to learn to forgive and be a peacemaker as I did.

There are times when we try to make peace and apologize, but the other party wants nothing to do with us. Their rejection might hurt for a moment, but there is nothing you can do about that but pray. But you can rest assured that your obedience to try to make amends, was pleasing to God and He will handle the rest. You are just responsible for yourself.

When the day comes that the person in my life has grown in the Lord and approaches me to make amends, (or God comes back to me for me to go to them), either way my heart is open and willing to receive. Always be willing for reconciliation with others.

If there is someone in your life who you have turned a stubborn or proud heart against, it is time my dear sisters to make amends. It doesn’t matter how many times they have gotten on your nerves or offended. If the Holy Spirit has been nudging you to make peace, please listen and be obedient. If you are in the wrong, don’t justify it as being okay because of the past things they have done to you. After all, it can take as little as “two words” to make peace.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Monday's Blog: Sasha, "Healthy Lifestyles

Homeschooling Is So Much FUN!

Homeschooling is so much fun! It is the easiest thing that I have ever done in my entire life. Everyday, we wake up and follow our schedule and everything goes exactly according to plan! It’s Wonderful! Once we come up with lessons plans (which are a piece of cake), the hard part is done and the fun begins. Mali loves being homeschooled!

SIKE!!!! LOL!

Now that I have your attention, let me give you the real low down on homeschooling!

Let me start off by saying that I really am enjoying the experience of homeschooling my daughter. I am so glad that God has given me this opportunity and I wish I could have started homeschooling both of my children earlier in their educational careers. It has been by far very rewarding and I think that both Mali and I are already starting to reap the benefits.

With that being said, I have gained a lot of respect for educators and veteran homeschoolers because doing this and doing it correctly can be a lot of work. Since we have started this process, I have to be totally honest and tell you that I have had to do a lot of modifications to the program. Yes indeed! Almost on a daily basis, I am having to admit to myself and to Mali that the direction I was going was not the right one and take a new approach.

I had all of these grand ideas of all I wanted to accomplish within the day, over a week’s time and by the end of a marking period. Day One was great! I was following the schedule down to the minute and kept loading Mali up with all of this great information that she needed to learn, worksheets that had to be completed and a calendar of the many activities she would be participating in. Day One could be marked off as a Success....1 down and 179 more to go!

Day Two...After our morning devotional and before class, I asked Mali what did she think about homeschooling after her first day. Her response was “Well, I like it and it will probably be okay—but—why does it have to be sooooooo much? I have never done so much work in my life! I thought homeschooling would be more fun than this. I don’t even get a break!”

Whoa...her statement hit me like a brick! Homeschool was supposed to be fun. It was one of the things that I promised her we would work towards when I presented the option to her. And to be honest, it WAS a lot of work and day 1 only consisted of Math and Language Arts. She was right! And I had to repent. I promised her that I would review the workload and try to come up with better lesson plans. I even got her input on how she would like her day to go.

Over the first couple of weeks, there were several more moments like these. For example — I was told that my Science class was the most boring class she ever took! Science is my all time favorite class and I want my children to love it as much as I do. Okay—not a problem—time to change direction again. Science is now a little more fun and interactive thanks to some of Mali’s suggestions.

My point is...I am quickly learning that this is not a perfect process. There have been and probably will continue to be lots of bumps in the road, detours and roadblocks as we move forward in our school year. But what will make the journey a little easier is my willingness to realize that I am human, will make mistakes and be able to make the necessary changes and keep it moving. Fortunately, Mali has been very forgiving of my mess ups so far....and realizes that this is a learning experience for both of us and for the most part, really seems to be enjoying being schooled at home with Mom.

Thank goodness perfection isn’t a requirement for homeschooling!

SN: My homeschool experience almost parallels how my walk with God has been since I became a Christian. While striving to be the perfect Christian girl, I spend a lot of time repenting for actions that don’t necessarily line up with the will of God. Fortunately, perfection isn’t a necessary requirement for our salvation either! God is so full of mercy and forgiveness and He allows for us to make mistakes, repent and keep it moving down the right path! Thank you Lord!


Until the next time,
Sasha

I will be back very soon with another "Single Homeschool Mom" blog, hope to see you then!


Friday's Blog: Ponnie, has a special blog that you won't want to miss.

One of the Peculiar People

In a perfect world you would enter your work place; all your coworkers have a smile on their faces and they would all greet you with “Good morning!” Your favorite office friendly music is playing and you love your job and are excited about coming to work everyday! Then you wake up from that dream because life is not perfect. In reality how does your workday start? Are you a person who greets everyone with a smile? Or do you enter your workplace resembling the Wicked Witch of the West? Are your coworkers glad to see you or do they want to run the other way? I’m going to give you a second to pause and think about that one. ~SMILE~

I have to admit I try to smile and be pleasant all day long but there are times I fall short. As Christians we are supposed to let God’s light shine through us regardless of the attitudes of our boss, atmosphere of our workplace or the temperament of the people we serve (customers, patients, etc.). My current workplace isn’t the most pleasant place to work. I find this ironic because this is the first job I’ve had where I’m not that physically active, the majority of my job is paperwork and talking to people. I work for a government agency, and it’s amazing how unhappy a lot of my coworkers are especially at a time when so many people are unemployed. After all we have a stable job with benefits!

When I realized I was beginning to pick up bad habits from my surroundings that also affected my life after work as well, God placed a scripture in my spirit: But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1Peter 2:9 KJV

I like the The Message Bible’s version best which says, But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. How powerful is that? You and I are one of the peculiar people! But do we really know what that means? One of the definitions for peculiar is: Belonging distinctively or primarily to one person, group, or kind; special or unique. So for me that translates into, we are chosen by God to do his work everywhere, including the workplace! I’m not suggesting that you start handing out religious literature or preaching to your coworkers. But what I am saying is our disposition should be the reflection of God.

In order for my workplace to become a more comfortable environment for me; I decided to bring in an mp3 player with speakers so I could listen to music softly at my desk. I would pray a quick prayer before my workday started, and I believe that my early morning exercise (with all of those good feeling endorphins) is helping me to have a pleasant outlook and workday. After all, most of us spend more time at work than we do with our families so we might as well enjoy it as much as we can!

While writing this blog, I realized I’ve been slacking off on praying before I began my workday. Asking God to intervene in our workplace should be very important to us, yet it is very easy to fall by the wayside. I usually begin my prayer at work by first thanking God for who He is and the job He has given me. I ask to be a light to others and for blessings over my supervisor, coworkers and anyone that enters our office for help that day. And then I thank Him in advance for a successful day. Prayer is personal and our jobs and positions different, so we each have to pray according to how we are led by the Holy Spirit.

In closing, I want to tell you when I first started this job; I wanted the people I worked with to change. Of course God doesn’t always work like that; instead He desired a change in me. I was the first person to bring music into the office, and now everyone has music at their desks! And this small change seems to have lifted the spirit of the office. God’s peculiar people are to produce and provoke positive change! ~smile~ Have you thought of little things you can do to have a pleasant or more productive workday?

Until next time, stay encouraged!


See you in 2 weeks,
Jennifer

I'll be back on Wednesday, October 6th, hope to see you then!


Home School Thursday's Blog: Sasha "Homeschooling Single Mom"

Teach The Children

For many families, talking about money is taboo. The adults make it, the kids ask for it, end of story. Yet financial experts agree that understanding cash, credit, and consumerism is possible, and important, for building a sense of financial responsibility in children. How can you teach your kids about money? What kind of message should you teach them? Let's talk about money.

Kids need to know how the economy works. No, not stocks, interest rates, and world markets! I mean the basic ins and outs of a family economy. You can start when your kids are very young by helping them understand the difference between needs and wants, that money comes from working, what money looks like, and that everybody has a job (a kid's job is to learn things, to play, and to participate in the family). As they get older (once they know that a nickel is worth less than a dime, even though it's larger), you can talk with them about credit cards, bank interest, and so on. Kids can learn about budgeting from the time they are about seven.

Remember that a solid money education is one of the best tools you can give your kids—it will aid them the rest of their lives.

We are teaching my step-son about money using Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace Jr.” The system teaches them how to earn, give, save, and spend money. They list their chores on a commission worksheet. He does jobs around the house every week and then we pay him a certain amount of money, depending on how much work he finishes. This money is called commissions.

Financial Peace Jr. teaches how to save money; pay cash for purchases and how to earn money for the things you need or want. Many adults have never learned this lesson so they borrow money when they want something instead of saving for it.

The commission that he earns is managed using three envelopes. The first is Giving. He puts at least 10 percent of his commission in this envelope. This money is given as offering at church. The next envelope is the Savings envelope. He also puts a minimum of 10 percent of his commission in this envelope even when he is not saving for anything in particular. The third envelope is the Spending envelope. This is for the rest of the commission after putting money in the Giving and Saving envelopes. This is money he can spend with parental guidance, of course.

In closing, one important thing to remember is that your actions and words about money should be consistent. If you say one thing but do another, your child will see through this hypocrisy very quickly. On the other hand, consistency will reinforce all your efforts; what you say will support what you do, and vice versa.


Peace & Blessings
Sharon

I will have more for you on Monday, October 4th! Until then keep working your plan for financial peace and freedom.


Wednesday's Blog: Jennifer, "Working Single Moms"

Help! My Debt Snowball is Melting!

Hi ladies, this blog was posted September 2, 201 on Getrichslowly.com. It is great and I hope you enjoy it and be sure to check out "Getrichslowly.com"!

This post is from staff writer Sierra Black. Sierra writes about frugality, sustainable living, and getting her kids to eat kale at Childwild.com.

The summer heat has taken a toll on my debt snowball. Two months ago, I paid off the last of my credit card debt, but I still have thousands of dollars in loans. I started the summer with over $10,000 in my savings account, no credit card debt, and a solid plan to pay off my remaining loans within the next few years.

Then life happened. I’ve been living out of suitcases for the past two months, traveling to New York, Buenos Aires, and Bangor. (I’ve blogged quite a bit about how travel is one of my budget weak spots.) So I spent some money. Not as much as I was afraid I might, but more than I probably should have.

Also, I have kids. Those of you with children may have noticed that they’re expensive. There are a thousand articles out there on how to keep the cost of having children to a minimum. I’ve written some of those myself. But I’m here to tell you that whether you do your back-to-school shopping at Bloomingdale’s or Goodwill, kids will add to your monthly expenses.

So here I am. Summer’s ending. I’m writing from the lake house in northern Maine where I’ve been holed up for much of the past few months. In the peaceful quiet hour around sunset, I finally steeled myself and looked at my bank balance.

Resting on my laurels
It’s not as bad as I’d feared. The numbers are still solidly in the black. My savings have a dent in them, but a smaller one than I expected. My checking account is in good shape. My bills are paid.

The shadow in this rosy picture: I haven’t made any extra debt payments all summer. The hot weather arrived, my credit cards were paid off, and instead of rolling that debt snowball right into my car loan, I sat back on my laurels. No wonder I have more money than I expected: I’ve been letting all my debt snowball money (which adds up to almost $2000 a month) sluice around in my regular budget for two months!
I was going to try to slide this under the radar. I figured I’d turn a new leaf when the leaves changed colors, keep paying my debts off as quick as I can, and no one needed to be the wiser.

But then J.D. pointed out that my recent posts here haven’t had a lot of “me” in them. That’s not just because I’m focused on other things. It’s because I don’t want anyone looking too closely at me. I’m a little ashamed of where my finances are.
Not that there’s anything wrong with taking a few months off from my debt snowball. I wanted to do something indulgent and special to celebrate being out of credit card debt. Taking a summer off would have been an expensive but reasonable choice.

The problem is that I didn’t choose it. It just sort of happened. I let things slide. I put “set up increased loan payments” at the top of my financial to-do list in June. (A to-do list I literally left sitting on my desk when I packed my bags and left for the summer.) But I neglected to do set up those payments, or to do any other active management of my household finances for months. There was money in my checking account, and that was good enough for me.

Now there’s a familiar sinking feeling in my stomach as I look at my bank balance and have no idea where my money has gone or what the numbers mean.

Failing forward
I’m not actually in any financial trouble. But my timeline for being out of debt has slipped, and it’s slipped through some of the same cracks that led me into debt in the first place. I don’t know where all that extra money went. Some of it went into preschool tuition and plane tickets and new shoes for the kids. Sure. But I was also careless budgeting for groceries and any number of small purchases. Those add up to a lot of dollars.

My shame isn’t about my bottom line. It’s about my bad habits. I’m making some of the same mistakes I made for years. The mistakes I’m prone to making with money when I don’t pay attention. That’s embarrassing, no matter what my bank balance is.

Of course, shame and fear about money was what led me into this debt trap. I didn’t want to look. For years, I simply refused to know what my spending habits were, or even what my regular bills added up to. By the time I turned 30, that head-in-the-sand approach had saddled me more debt than the total income I’d earned in my life. I’ve spent the past two years digging myself out, and I’m starting to see a light at the end of that tunnel.

I’ve been living on a skinny budget for years. I’ve paid off a mountain of credit cards. But even though I had a lot of credit card debt, the credit cards were still the low-hanging fruit.

Now I have to pay off loans. They have lower interest rates and higher balances than my credit cards did. The bills just come quietly every month and I pay them. The balances only move down, but they move down slowly.

There’s no exciting struggle. No relearning old habits to keep the plastic in my wallet and out of my hand when I’m standing in line at the checkout. No lifestyle changes that will suddenly free up hundreds of dollars to wipe out the debt.

I just need to roll that snowball over and keep paying it. I suspect that even being very aggressive about my debt payments, it will be two years before I hit another financial milestone worth throwing a party about. This approach is effective — but boring. That’s what getting rich slowly is all about.

It’s the beginning of September. The beginning of fall, and of a new school year. A great time for new beginnings. I’m back on the wagon with my budget, and making those extra loan payments this month.

I’m writing about all this publicly in the hopes that it’s a teachable moment. The lesson I’ve learned so far: Sometimes we all slip. The key is to fall back on the skills and strengths you know you have, and start over from wherever you are.
What else can I learn here? You’re a bunch of extremely smart readers. What do you do to stay motivated while paying down debt or saving towards a goal? What helps you keep your good financial habits going?



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Tuesday's blog: Sharon will have more financial wisdom for us on how to take charge of changing our financial situation!

FREEDOM! Part III

Galatians 5:1 (complete Jewish Bible), What the Messiah has freed us for is freedom! Therefore, stand firm, and don’t let yourselves be tied up again to a yoke of slavery.

Part I August 20, 2010 and Part II September 3, 2010.

Why did Paul warn the Galatians to “Therefore, stand firm, and don’t let yourselves be tied up again to a yoke of slavery?” What did he mean? Well, for starters, there is “No one size fits all” answer to that question. This is one of those times where you will have to do the work in order to find out what the personal yokes are in your life.

But I do want to give you an example of how we can be a slave to an “old mindset” lets look at insecurity.

Insecurity in women (I might venture to say) might be the #1 reason in our lives for causing problems, but if not; it is in the top 3 for sure. ~Smile~

Being insecure can be crippling depending on who you are and how deep the root of this insecurity grows. For starters an insecure woman is one who always has something critical to say about everything. We have either been that person or know someone who is like that. Being critical and finding fault is the only way she can feel good about herself. Why? Because deep down, she is pledged with feelings of intimidation, low self-esteem, and self-worth such as, she is not smart enough, pretty enough, lovable enough or educated enough. The saddest part about all of this is that we put ourselves in these boxes, not people.

“Don’t let yourselves be tied up again to a yoke of slavery!” Imagine sitting in a chair where you are tied from your shoulders to you feet with the rope wrapped and wrapped and wrapped all around you. And then chains are added so that not only can you not move your body, but you would not be able to move or jiggle the chair in anyway. That is maybe how the mindset of “insecurity” would look in the natural compared to what Paul is talking about. Also when you read about slavery of any kind, a slave does what her master instructs her to do. Slavery is not a democracy and you really do not have a say. Hopefully at this point you have a vivid picture of what being held captive might look like.

“What the Messiah has freed us for is freedom!” Now envision being rescued. The weights are taken off your neck and the ropes are cut and you are FREE!! This is what happens when you come to the realization that you are free because the Messiah has freed you. You are free to not care if people think you are not so smart because you do not have a college degree. For one we know that is not true, because anyone who has the mind of the Messiah and operates in that truth is far from stupid. And we also know people who have graduated from Ivy League colleges, but when it comes to life and common sense, they are dumber than dirt. So what if you are a size 20, you walk in the freedom that you are beautiful because God says you are, and a size 12 no longer intimidates you. You are free to the point that others opinions cannot dictate how you act, dress, behave or feel about yourself. You love who you are, and strive on your terms to improve those things that need to change. If you are over weight then you change your lifestyle to lose weight to become healthier and take better care of your temple and honor God. Not because the world or others are trying to force down your throat size “0”. You are free to take chances and dream, dreams. You are free to understand who you are in the Messiah.

But first, you must put in the time and effort of identifying what “mindsets” you are personally enslaved too. It is the only way to get to that “freedom”.

How do we do this? You and the Holy Spirit have to get honest about things. You will have to start by asking Him some tough questions about you and why you do the things you do? Without identify our problems we cannot talk to God about them and or be healed from them.

There is no “magic” quick fix to be free from enslaving mindsets and old ways, but there is the great hope of what Messiah has done for us. But it is up to us to grab hold of the key and unlock the chains that hold us captive.

Sisters, I pray that I have planted seeds of hope and change in your hearts. And your interest is peeked to discover what “freedom” the Messiah has made you free for. I pray you will no longer settle for life as it is and will move forward into who you really are as an individual designed by God.

Reminder: Once you begin to walk in your new found freedom, remember don’t let yourselves become tired up again to the old “mindsets” you have been freed from. Make sure not to become its slave once more. How is that done? Remembering who has freed you and all the hard work you had to do to understand what that means for you!



Be blessed,
Pat

I will return Friday, October 1st, hope to see you then!


Monday's Blog: Sharon will be back with more great "Financial Wisdom" for us"

It’s All About Relationships

Hi Folks,

Let me just start off breathing a sigh a relief, AHHHHHHHHH! It has been along day. I hear you asking “What happened?” so I will tell you. Remember last year I told you that one of my sisters, Yvette was considering home schooling her son and the other sister, Adrienne, was also considering home schooling her youngest son. Well they considered and moved forward on it. But there’s more. Adrienne who was only going to home school her youngest decided to do it for her 11 year old twin boys as well. You know what that means? More fun for me!

Fortunately all the kids are enrolled in virtual classes and they only come over a couple times a week. Today was the day the Jones Boys were over (that is the name affectionately given to Adrienne’s boys when referring to them or talking to them collectively). It went pretty well considering Brandon and Christian (my boys) thought this meant playtime and had to be reminded several times that school was in session, The Jones Boys were not as familiar with the system and needed more help. The youngest Jones boy chose to leave in the middle of his class to get juice and my cell phone was ringing off the hook with text messages from Momma Jones checking in on them (actually other people were also texting me a lot today too). WHEW!!! It is a good thing I got up early today and worked out, that along with prayer gave me energy. At 3 o’clock when school was done, I told everyone to put their sneakers on and GET OUT! Ahhh—sweet relief. They are outside and I am enjoying peace and quiet.

Surprisingly though, having the nephews over for school is not the topic of this blog today. Rather the topic has to deal with the theme for this home school year. You see last year a good friend suggested we have a theme for our first year and we did. The theme came from Phil. 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” We said it in our morning prayers and tried to remind ourselves of it throughout the year. As we were embarking on something new we needed to know that if God was calling us to do this, that He would certainly give us the strength to do it. As we start this new school year we are already convinced of the power we have in God, so although we will continue to stand on this we need a theme for this year that will keep us on our toes. Surely with all the extra people that will be at our house we could use the theme “The more the merrier,” but no, that’s not it. ~Smile~

As I continued to give our theme dilemma some thought I flirted around with Ephesians 4:32 where the Apostle Paul speaks about being kind and forgiving one another. This would be great because sometimes my kids go at it, whew doggie! I liked the scripture but it had to be more than just being kind. Then it hit me like lightning from the sky hitting a tree causing it to split in half, LOL!

I went out to lunch one Saturday with friends from high school, friends who I have not seen in twenty years. I was a little nervous because I was not sure what, if anything we still had in common? But once seeing them and spending time with them it was like old times. We laughed, reminisced and caught up on the past twenty years. Afterwards I realized one thing, it’s all about relationships. You see no matter what our differences or similarities, how much time spent together or apart we were made for relationship — God first and then with others. The scripture in Ephesians that speaks about being kind and the verse that precede it and the ones after are all talking about relationship. How we should behave and treat one another is up there on God’s agenda. In fact it is proven in the Great Commandment when Jesus says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-40 NRSV)

So you see it is all about relationships, even your relationship with your kids. I have a pretty good relationship with my boys, but I want it to be a GREAT one! I want this year and every year actually to be about growing closer with Brian and the kids in God. I don’t want us to take our biological relationship for granted so that we are not constantly working on being kind and forgiving toward each other. I know that as we grow, all of us (children included) will make an impact on the rest of our family, our community and every where we go. I am about impacting and influencing for the Father.

There you have it, in a nutshell, my theme for this school year. I pray that whether you use traditional or non traditional means to educate your children that your focus is more than just Reading, Writing and Arithmetic’s. But instead on building long lasting, influential relationships that honors God and brings glory to the Kingdom. Be blessed and…

…until next time, happy home schooling!



Hugs and Kisses,
Cheryl

Catch you in two weeks on, Thursday, September 30th!


Friday's Blog: Pat "Words of Wisdom"

"Make It Work!"

I am a big fan of the show “Project Runway” and I love to hear Tim Gunn tell the designers “Make it work!” By this time in the challenge, they have already come up with a design and purchased their materials and if things are not coming out the way they had envisioned, Tim is there to let them know they have no other choice but to “Make it work” if they don’t want to be sent home. And you know what, some of them do and some of them don’t. This is what I see in single women—some of them make what they have been given work and so many of them don’t!

There are single women who have dream jobs and they love it. There are others that have dream jobs and still are very dissatisfied with life. There are women who have good jobs and love it, and you have your group who have good jobs but are not happy. There are women who have jobs that are not the best but they are grateful to be employed, and then there are those who whine and complain all the time. What we have here are those who “Make it work” and those who don’t.

I cannot count the times I’ve listened to women (not just single) complain about their lives when in essence they can make change (including me). We do find ourselves in seasons where we have to ride things out, but there are times we have the ability to make change and we don’t. As humans it is so much easier to talk about what we are going to do then to actually put in the time and energy to do it. We all know someone who is forever talking about what they plan to do yet; they never seem to get around to doing it—all talk and no action so to speak. In fact you might be one of those personality types yourself. That is the bad news, but the good news is…..you don’t have to continue to be that way. Change can be good!!!!

If you are one who finds life boring, then do something about it! If you are lonely and desire friendship—do something about it! If you find that you have so much on your plate that there is no time for you—do something about it!!

In other words girls, “Make it work!” Take what you have at this time and “Make it work” for you. Refurbish, rethink, redo, reorganize, reschedule, revamp, do something to change your circumstances for the better. I could list many different things you could think about doing as I have done in the past, but you know what? It’s time for you to put on your thinking cap, get on your knees and take what God has given you and “Make It Work!” Stop sitting around being sad, jealous, envious, covetous, unhappy, depressed and mean spirited, when we have so much to be grateful for. If you are reading this blog, then right off the bat without knowing you, I can think of a couple of things you have to be grateful for like, life, eyes that see, the ability to read, access to internet service and a computer, which runs on electricity. And that is just the beginning.

I pray that if you have not been enjoying your single life that as of today, you will make the decision to make change (if only in your attitude) and make what God has given you, work for the better in your life. In other words, live single and learn to love it!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Hope to sit with you again on Wednesday, September 29th.

Thursday's Blog: Cheryl, "Diary of a Homeschool Mom!"

God's Timing

This past weekend I was blessed to be able to attend “The Women of Faith Conference” for the 3rd year in a row. And it was fantastic to say the least, but the awesome thing about it all, is how God continues to work this out for me, and that is what I want to share today. God’s time!

I’m not sure if everyone is familiar with “The Women of Faith Conference” but it is sort of a big deal here in the USA. I don’t see where they do anything internationally so I would have to say they seem to be centered in North America. http://womenoffaith.com/

The conference originated in 1996 and started coming to Philadelphia in 2000. I first heard about it about 6 or 7 years ago and wanted to attend from that moment on. But each year when it rolled around, I was not able to purchase a ticket. I felt sort of left out because as an inner city missionary who gave a lot to others, people would constantly tell me how wonderful it was and that I should go, but never offered a hand to get me there. But as I kept growing in the Lord, I came to the understanding that if I was supposed to be there then God would make the way. This helped to take the sting out of not being able to go and people telling me what I missed. Because the truth was, “I had missed nothing.” If I didn’t get to go, then it was not God’s will for me, so how could I have missed something?

I want to expound a little more on that, because as women we have a tendency to freely tell other women what they’ve missed and we really need to stop that. The only time we miss anything, is if the Lord instructed us to do something or be somewhere and we were disobedient and did not follow His instruction. So stop going up to women and telling them what they missed because you didn’t see them Sunday at service, or a concert or any of the many different functions churches have. We have no right to make the assumption that because they weren’t there that they missed anything. How awful we make others feel when we do this. Please sisters, stop and think the next time you share with another sister how nice a certain function or conference was that they did not attend. Just tell them how nice it was for you, but leave out the “Girl, you missed it!”

Now, back to growing to the point of realizing that if God wanted me to be somewhere I would be there. This changed my life in a big way. I stopped feeling left out across the board. If someone had something in there home and invited others that I knew but didn’t invite me, I no longer cared, because if I was supposed to be there then I would have been invited. If people informed me after the fact about something that I would have liked to have been a part of, it didn’t bother me because again, if God had wanted me there, I would have known before hand. This is an area of “freedom” for me that Galatians 5: 1 talks about.

I didn’t give up hope of going to The Women of Faith conference, but I just took each year as it came. And I was so pleasantly surprised on January 4, 2008, when I was given a check to purchase a ticket for the upcoming WOF conference that September. Wow!! I was happy and it was so unexpected. I went by myself and had a wonderful time. That’s where I met Maria Guzman (Life Unscripted) blogger and we have been friends ever since. Maria resides in Stanford, CT with her husband, two sons and mother. The following year, Rita (a friend) called to say that she could get discount tickets for us through a group. At the time I did not have the funds, and she was willing to purchase the tickets and I reimburse her. Well, I wasn’t sure I would be able to pay her back, but she reassured me that if for some reason I couldn’t it would be okay. Not only did God make sure I handed her the ticket money when we met up at the conference, but I had money for food and to purchase a couple of items at the conference! Now, we are in 2010, and yes, I wanted to go, because each time I’d been there was such a refreshing of my spirit that took place, but I didn’t think I was going this year because the price of a ticket was not in budget. And that was okay because if God wanted me there it would not be a problem. But guess what? He did want me there…LOL & Jumping for Joy!!!

Four days before the conference I received an inbox message from Esther-Marie, our guest “Travel & the Single Woman” blogger, asking me if I wanted to go to the conference on Friday and Saturday? She had a free ticket for me. As some of you know I am homeschooling my granddaughter and arrangements had to be made for her since Tovah was not going to be home. It all fell into place, 1-2-3!! No finagling! No manipulating!

Did I have a good time? You best believe it! And for many different reasons, but most of all it was so grand to be with Esther-Marie, her mother, sister and all the other women there who came to hangout. Steven Curtis Chapman was there, Mandisa, Sandi Patti, Patsy Clairmont and many others. I laughed, I cried, I sang, I prayed.

Sisters, we must continue to strive to grow in the knowledge of who God is. And in that knowledge we will come to see that His timing is perfect. The gift of this ticket came when I was tried, and feeling very dry in spirit. But I’d been feeling that way for sometime. There had been days, when I cried out to God, to show me that a change is coming that something is going to give. Yet, He was silent. Did His silence mean that He didn’t hear me or care? No, it just meant that I had to continue to trust Him. Not trust Him to do a particular thing, such as: “I’m trusting God to change my finances.” No, it was, “I am trusting God…period!” Because the truth is when we try to separate His care and provision into little compartments, we are most assuredly going to experience disappointment. But when we strive to trust God, because He is good and realizing that it all works together according to His will and plans, then even when things are tough, hard or really bad, we can stand on our hope that He has not forsaken us and has allowed whatever it is to be for this season. I got a break and refreshing when He knew I needed it the most, and it worked for everyone concerned, not just for me.

My dear sisters, God tells us that His ways are not our ways and that also translates into His timing is not our timing. There is an old saying that, “God comes at the 11th hour.” Well, that holds no truth to it whatsoever. The 11th hour insinuates that He just made it—whew!! But God is a God of purpose and planning and He is never late or just making it in the nick of time. His time is our perfect time, whether we think so or not.

When we can trust God to have perfect timing in our lives, we find more peace and joy than before. You no longer worry that your biological clock is ticking away, or feel desperate to be married, or get that new house, car or job. We’re not so quick to run out and make poor decisions because we feel God is taking too long and we might miss out if we don’t take things into our own hands. What happens is, we begin to find a place of rest and peace, reassured that He is taking care of it all, whether we have evidence of this or not.

Who is God to you? Do you really trust this God? These are 2 very profound questions to ponder on. I think you might be surprised at what comes up.


Love & Hugs
Ponnie



Wednesday's Blog: Ponnie, "Single & Loving It!"

BACK TO SCHOOL

Happy September Ladies!

Can you believe it’s September already? I can’t! Seems like just yesterday, we were in January kicking off the new year and here we are already, a new school year among us and all of the great Fall and Winter holidays right around the corner!

Usually when you think of September, not only do thoughts of my birthday fill your mind (LOL!!) but also, you think of back to school and all of the excitement that it brings.

This year is extra exciting because it is the beginning of change for me and my family. You already know that back to school means the beginning of homeschooling for me and my daughter, Mali. However, we have another big milestone this year as well. My son, Zachary, begins high school this year!

The busyness of back to school has already started! Homework assignments, projects, extra-curricular activities, driving 2 different kids to 2 different locations at the same time…you know the routine!

Or it may be that YOU are starting school this fall. If so, it means evenings with lots of reading, studying, completing assignments etc.

So whether you are the parent of a back to schooler or attending school yourself, I think we can all agree....School can burn a sister out!

So ladies, I wanted to take a moment to encourage you on one simple thing....don’t let the hustle and bustle of the back to school season, burn you out! In the midst of the chaos, keep yourself healthy by taking some time for yourself!

I realize that this is a task that may seem impossible for many of us but it’s a must if we are going to keep ourselves well. Don’t neglect yourselves and lose your well-being.

Be sure to exercise daily for at least 30 minutes...in fact schedule the time in your day planners. This is one area that I am committed to this school year! In fact, little does Mali know...we are adding a daily workout to our school day to make sure that I get it in. *Smile*

Next, be sure to take at least 15-20 minutes a day to do something just for you. Polish your toes, read a magazine, work on a crossword puzzle, play a game on Facebook or read your favorite blog from the Kitchen Table....whatever you enjoy doing, just do it!

Here’s a biggie—Make sure that you get your rest. This one has been hard for me lately. I recently started working different hours so that I can have more hours during the day to homeschool Mali and to allow myself to be more actively involved in Zachary’s school year. The sacrifice has been less sleep! I have to repeat...it’s been hard but I’ve been able to work it out so that I can get the rest that my body needs to function properly. When I was sleep deprived, I was cranky, forgetful and I kept a headache....not good. It was then that I made a mental note to remind all you of the importance of getting your REST. We can’t be all that we need to be to our husbands, children, loved ones and friends if we are always tired! So ladies, GO TO BED! If it means not doing that last pile of laundry or not responding to an email until another day, so be it.

Last but most importantly....include God in your day. While preparing for homeschooling, I became totally overwhelmed with finding the right curriculums, lesson plans, schedules etc. It totally consumed my day (and nights). On top of all of that, I began to stress over how to keep Zach on track his first year of high school and getting him to and from his extra-curricular activities that he wants to do this year. These things along with making sure the house stayed clean, dinner is cooked and other general household chores made me officially stressed. Then one night while laying in bed and mentally writing yet another to-do-list, the Lord spoke to me so clearly...”Cast your cares on Me”. I was so consumed with trying to figure out how to be the perfect mom that I forgot to turn to the one who could help me get it all done. It was at that moment that I determined that I was surrendering it ALL to Him. The curriculum decisions, our daily schedule, the kids...all of it...I gave it to Him and said, “Lord, Show me what to do, when to do it and how to do it!” Instantly, the stress was lifted off of me and I was able to think more clearly. Now, every morning, I give my day to the Lord and as a result, I have restored my sanity. *Smile*

I hope that it’s a wonderful school year for everyone and I pray much success to all of you this year!



Be blessed Sisters!
Sasha

I will be back on Monday, September 27th, hope to see you then!


Tuesday's Blog: Ponnie has a special "God's Timing" please stop by.

Don't Cry Out Loud

Rose continued to stare at her feet even after Dr. Hanson had called her name twice. “Rose, would you like to tell the group anything about yourself?” she asked again. But Rose chose to ignore her request once again.

As the others began to talk, Rose lifted her head just enough to be able to see a couple of women sitting across from her. They looked normal. In fact none the women looked as if they were crazy, yet all of them were patients in the psychiatric ward of St. Christopher’s Hospital. Without warning Rose threw back her head and started to laugh out loud. Everyone stopped to look at her, and just as the laughter seemed to come from nowhere, so did the tears and screams that followed.

The crisis that Rose now found herself in was long in the making. She had been raised like the Melissa Manchester’s 80’s hit, Don’t Cry Out Loud. “Don't cry out loud, Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings, Fly high and proud, And if you should fall, remember you almost had it alllllll.” She could hear her grandmother’s voice as if they had the conversation yesterday, “You must pull yourself up by the boot straps girl!” “God only helps those who help themselves!” “Don’t let people know your business.” From the time that she was a little girl baking bread with her mother and grandmother every Tuesday, it was drilled into her head that she came from a strong stock of women—who didn’t let life get them down. So when Rose began to suffer from depression, she hid the hurt and pain and held her head high with pride as if everything was coming up roses, exactly as she had been taught to do.

The first signs of real depression started for Rose in her freshman year of college. Her mother began to see the change in her but thought it would pass once she got over being homesick and made new friends. But Rose never did get over being homesick and though she was very likeable, she kept people at a distance. That was a result of her father abandoning her at the tender age of 9 years old and she and her mother had to go and live with her grandmother. She made a decision in her heart then, that she would never allow anyone to hurt that deeply again. Rose’s mother just seemed to forge on in life as the Carlton women have always done. And so did Rose, even though her heart was broken into a million little pieces. They never spoke of her father again.

Graduation day was like a fuzzy dream. Everyone in her family was excited about the fact that Rose was the first women in her family to obtain a college degree, except Rose. There was this sadness in her spirit that she just couldn’t put her finger on, but it had been living with her for years, and today was no different. But Rose painted on a happy face and hid the dark feelings that were beginning to take hold of her a little more each day.

Rose thought maybe she needed to do more with her life, so she signed up with the Peace Corps, to use her degree in sociology. There she met her husband Conrad. The two years they worked together in Honduras were some of the happiest times Rose had ever known, but even then she had days where it was all she could do to be present in mind and not just in body. There always seemed to be a haze to her world or some type of gloom on the happiest of days. Right before their 2 year contract was up, Conrad and Rose got married.

Conrad came home to the position as administrator at a very prestigious Ivy League prep school and he and Rose wanted to start a family. Rose is not sure if the gloom took over after her first miscarriage or the third? But one thing she does remember and that was everyone telling her “You’re young, you can try again.” “Don’t worry, you will have a baby.” “Everything will be okay.” But everything wasn’t okay for Rose, but she didn’t dare tell anyone how bad she was feeling, because that is not what the Carlton women did. She had also been taught that if you were a true Christian and really trusted God, you should never be depressed. So deep down, Rose was afraid to voice how bad she was feeling because it would mean that she wasn’t a real Christian. It would validate that she really didn’t believe and that God would see her as being weak. So, day-after-day, she tried to help herself so that God would one day help her.

Conrad’s days were very full with running the school so, often when he was home with Rose, he didn’t pick up on the painted face she wore for him. Even though many times, the Holy Spirit tried to tell him to pay more attention to his wife. When asked at church how she was doing, Rose like many Christians adopted a Bible verse cliché. “I’m blessed and highly favored,” was always her answer. And yet no one ever called her on that by answering back, “Yes, we are all blessed and highly favored if we belong to the Kingdom of God, but what I want to know, is “How are you?” The days began to turn into weeks, and the weeks began to turn into months and the months began to turn into years.

By age 29, Rose no longer wanted to live. But the only one who knew this dark secret of hers, was God. Because she was home alone most of the day, she was able to drag around and by the time Conrad came home it was often time to go to bed. Her mother and grandmother loved to cook for her and Conrad, so Rose no longer had to make herself cook and when Conrad questioned why she had her night clothes on so early in the evening, she would give the excuse of not feeling well, or she had such a long day. He didn’t seem to notice that she had not gotten dressed all day. But when she showed no interest in having sex, or going out with him and friends, or visiting family—he finally began to see that something was wrong.

Conrad reassured Rose after they left the doctors office that he would help her in anyway needed and he would be there for her. And everyone including Rose thought the pills the doctor prescribed would do the trick. But they didn’t! Rose felt even worse then before. She had very little interest in life at all now and her mouth was constantly dry, no matter how much water she drank. She began to withdraw a little more with each passing day. Conrad noticed that things were getting worse and not any better so he suggested she see a therapist. But by now Rose, just wanted to die. She wanted the pain of life to stop. She felt God didn’t love her and she was probably going to burn in hell anyway, so why continue on. There was no hope left in her.

When Rose awoke to find herself in restraints she was very disappointed to realize she had lived. Through the fog in her mind, she remembered taking all her depression meds, pain killers she had from when she broke her finger, and pain meds that Conrad had for a back injury. Surely all those pills laced with 10 oz of vodka should have killed her. And it would have except Conrad had forgotten to download a report from his laptop at home that he needed for a very important meeting that day, and he came home to find Rose unconscious and all the empty prescription bottles by her side.

Rose could still hear herself screaming as she fell to the floor asking God to help her. The other women in the group sat very still as the therapist instructed them to let Rose have this moment. Rose’s throat still hurt from having her stomach pumped, but finally after so many years of holding it all in, she was now able to express the hurt and pain that she was feeling.

A special note from Sasha Brown: There may be someone who is reading this blog right now who is experiencing the kind of pain/depression/hopelessness that Rose has experienced. Sister, don’t give up....know that God really loves you and wants you to be set free. He wants you to have the joy and the peace that you may have given up on. He has people already strategically set up all around you to help you on your road to recovery but you have to trust Him to do so. My prayer is that the Spirit of God will put into your mind the name of the person, church or facility that you can call right now to ask for help and that He will give you the courage to go to that person or to call that number and tell them that you need help, right now. I’m believing that God has that person on standby that He is giving them the wisdom to take the next steps with you.

There may be someone reading today who knows of someone who is suffering from depression. Don’t ignore it any longer! I pray that today is the day that God gives you the courage to go to that person and that He will also give you the wisdom and knowledge to find the resources that you need to help this love one. I also pray that you will not become discouraged and that your faith is strong to help you endure the process.

National Suicide Hotlines USA
Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK(1-800-273-8255 )


Love & Hugs
Ponnie & Sasha

As the Holy Spirit leads us to tackle more of the issues that women have that are kept under the rug, please look for more special blogs such a this.


Monday's Blog: Sasha, "Healthy Lifestyles"