Original post date: March 3, 2010
As I was preparing for a special date, I noticed that the outfit I so desperately wanted to wear didn't seem to fit right. In fact, it wasn't fitting at all. I don't care how much I sucked my belly in, and prayed the zipper still only went half way. By now I had broken out in a sweat and I feared my makeup would run, and my hair was going to go limp on me. As I started to cry silently inside, holding back the tears of frustration that wanted to run down my face (which would only add to the damage the long beads of sweat had already done), I heard a voice say, "Wear something else." "No! I screamed out loud! I've been dieting for weeks so that I could wear this outfit and I'm going to wear it!"
"This is war" I thought, as I franticly rummaged through one of my dresser drawers. At last! I found what I was looking for.......an old girdle. Do they still call them that anymore? Oh, well on with my story. I put plenty of talc on and wiggled and squirmed, grunted, wiggled some more until I almost passed out, but Praise the Lord I finally got it on. Now for the darned pants that refused to zipper. Would you believe after all this work, I still had to suck it in and wiggle some more before the zipper went all the way up? Hallelujah!!!! As I stood in the mirror to take a look see, lo and behold there was this big roll of fat (that would put any inner tube to shame), starring me right in the face. Now what in heaven's name was I going to do with that? Again, I heard that voice say, "Wear something else." This time I didn't even bother to acknowledge that I had even heard it. I know what I'll do, I can switch tops; I have something that will look just lovely with these beautiful champagne silk pants and matching jacket that I'm wearing.
Okay now I'm dressed, just need to remember not to drink any liquids while I'm out, couldn’t take the chance of having to use the bathroom. As I was doing a quick touch up on the makeup and hair, that same distracting voice interrupted my wonderful fantasy about how this evening was going to play out and again I heard, "Wear something else." I sucked my teeth, rolled my eyes, and said, "You must be kidding!" And went on my merry way.
Getting into the car proved to be an adventure in itself. Once I was finally able to get seated, it seemed that someone had been messing with my car and had adjusted the steering wheel. It was sitting right on that camouflaged roll of fat. "This is crazy," I thought to myself......who would have been in my car? The drive to the restaurant proved to be very tricky. I had to figure out how to shift my body so that when I made a left turn I didn't cut off the blood flow as the wheel dug into my stomach. Once I hit the expressway it was smooth sailing from there.
"Oh this is the life," I found myself thinking as I drove 15 miles over the speed limit of 55, and listened to my Christian Jazz CD. I've been going to Weight Watchers for 3 months and had lost a few pounds, bought some new clothes 2 sizes smaller then what I really wear in anticipation for the new me, and I finally have a date after 5 years. Wow, life is soooo good! What is that sensation? Oh no, I couldn’t have to pee!
Finally, I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant. Oh no, valet parking! That means that some person will be standing there watching me struggle to get out of this car and then switch my right shoe from a slipper to a mule. Dog gone it, can anything else get in the way of this perfect evening? I tell you the devil is always busy trying to mess things up for me. The Lord was gracious in the fact that I had a female to park my car so it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been. I would say she was about twentyish, and had the bod of a personal trainer, but as I huffed and puffed to get out the car she just looked at me and had this smile plastered on her face that read, "Boy if this isn't my mother."
Usually I don't wear heels, because I had gotten to a point that comfort was more important to me then looking cute, but somewhere along the way I forgot that once I had this date lined up. As I'm strutting my stuff into the restaurant I trip in the heels that I am so not accustomed to wearing and landed face down in the hedges near the front door. Of course the doorman immediately ran to my aid, It seems he wasn't sure how I fell and before he had me up the manger was there by my side wanting to know if I was all right or did they need to call a doctor. What they needed to do was get their hands off of me and let me try to salvage what little pride I had left. No I wasn't hurt, but I did get a free dinner for 2 on my next visit. Sure like I would ever come back there again. Yet then again, it was free food, so you never know.
Fortunately the ladies room was outside of the main dinning room and I was able to discretely slip in there without my date seeing me. Once again I fixed my hair and makeup and held back the tears that wanted to mess it all up again. At that point I really just wanted to go home, but I couldn't stand my blind date up, that would not be the reflection of Christ. And with that thought someone flushed the toilet and I remembered my bladder was telling me that it would soon need to be relieved. I thought to myself, I'll just speak the Word of God over it..."Bladder you will hold this pee until I get home, in the name of Jesus!" There, that takes care of that! Now on with this date.
I was 15 minutes late, which I think is fashionable, I didn't want to seem too anxious, even though I hadn't thought about anything else the past 2 weeks. There he was, (exactly like his picture) sitting patiently with a bouquet of yellow roses. I thought....."Ah, just for me, what a sweet man!”
As I approached the table like any gentleman he rose to his feet to greet me and pulled my chair out. Once seated he handed me the bouquet and I knew instantly I could really learn to like this guy. He advised me that he had taken the liberty and ordered dinner for both of us. Now this could be taken as, "Such a sweet gesture," or "Has he lost his mind? He doesn't know me that way!" Personally I was torn between the two, but leaning toward the latter. Oh, the heck with it, I'll play along for tonight. "So, what are we having for dinner?" I asked. "I hope you like surprises," he answered. "No not really," I thought, but I'll play along since you’re paying......
Blessings & Love
Ponnie
I will be back with Part II on, Wednesday, July 16th.
Thrusday's Blog: Cheryl, "Diary of a Home School Mom"
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