This first posted on June 2, 2010
Sorry I left you hanging. LOL!! But here’s the conclusion of....OUR STORY
I found a public charter school that was close to home and we just made the application deadline for the next school year. Having a background in both private and public school systems myself, I prepared Kaiya for public school by telling her you WILL experience culture shock. Some of the children won’t have the values you have. Some may curse, steal, be extraordinarily mean, and talk about or actually be sexually active. I think like most children she listened but she didn’t “hear” me. Every day after school she had a story to tell me about her adventures in public school. She experienced being teased for speaking proper English or “talking white” (I hate that term) as the kids called it. Isn’t that ironic? The child who once had a mild speech problem is now being teased for speaking proper English. When she came home she had many stories to tell me about her first week in public school and she couldn’t believe that I was right. Newsflash kiddo, I experienced that ‘from private school to public school’ culture shock too!
I received a call from the school social worker who explained that the teachers had concerns and would like to schedule another IEP. This time around, I was told that Kaiya is easily angered, doing inappropriate things in class such as barking like a dog or picking up objects from the floor and putting them in her mouth. The social worker, bless her heart, had conversations with Kaiya and really liked her. She observed Kaiya’s behavior and said that she thinks Kaiya has Asperger’s Syndrome. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are bright but lack social cues. In most cases, children are diagnosed at a younger age. I felt this was an accurate diagnosis, however I began to pray. I prayed for this 8 year struggle to be over. I just wanted Kaiya to be productive in school, make friends and have a “normal” life. I wish I could say I had the faith of a mustard seed or greater faith like my mother; but the truth is I was tired.
In Kaiya’s second semester things began to change. She stopped the quirky behaviors and started to slowly make friends… friends that spoke proper English and enjoyed the same activities such as anime, pop music, and Spongebob. By Kaiya’s last semester of the seventh grade, she was just shy of making the honor roll!
Fast forward to the present; Kaiya is finishing her eight grade year. Her first trimester she made the Honor Roll and her second trimester she made the Merit Roll (highest honors)! Kaiya was also accepted into a prestigious all girl college preparatory high school. I asked Kaiya what changed in her that she is excelling in school now. She said “I don’t know, I guess I’m maturing and it’s easier for me now.” I believe it was our prayers that made the difference. Not only is God awesome, he remembers our prayers!
I admit the fleshly part of me wanted to rise up and find those people who told me that something was wrong with my child. Especially that first grade teacher that failed her. I imagine I would present Kaiya’s Honor and Merit Roll certificates to her with a flourish and tell her “In your face, you were WRONG! By the way, you may have flunked her but she was promoted to her right grade that fall!” That was a passing thought…. Ok I thought about it a few times, I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t follow the direction of my flesh LOL!
Our story is a testimony that God hears our prayers and he hasn’t forgotten us. In Luke 11:6, The Message Bible says: What’s the price of 2 or 3 pet canaries? Some loose change right? But God never overlooks a single one. And He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail – even numbering the hairs on your head! Kaiya attended 6 schools in 8 years. Yes, 6 schools in 8 years. A few of the schools closed due to financial problems and a couple of times I moved her in order to find the right match where her self esteem wouldn’t be damaged, she could get a good education and it would be a good fit financially for me. This is simply our story, a true account from our lives. I would never suggest that there aren’t children who have ADD or Asperger’s, need medicine or extra help. I just believe although it was a difficult time especially in Kaiya’s life, maybe God didn’t want her to be labeled as we tend to do with children. “She’s a brat, he’s a whiny mama’s boy, he has ADD, and she has Asperger’s”. I truly feel if Kaiya had the right diagnosis years earlier, I may have given her excuses for her behavior and it’s possible she would not have excelled the way she’s excelling right now.
Much like the old slogan for Virginia Slims cigarettes, “We’ve come a long way baby!” We’re entering into a new and exciting chapter of our relationship. Kaiya is preparing for her 8th grade dance, class trip and graduation. This fall she starts her freshman year of high school. YIKES!!! I know this journey will bring new challenges. I plan to keep God first and fasten my seatbelt as Bette Davis wisely quipped in ALL ABOUT EVE.
Part I was posted Wednesday, May 19th, just in case you missed it!
See you in 2 weeks,
Jennifer
I'll be back on Wednesday, August 11th, with a new blog, hope to see you then!
Thursday's Blog: Special Annoucement on Women's Bible Study!
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