YOU"RE FIRED!!!

This blog first posted on April 10, 2010

“You’re fired!” Two dreaded words that no one wants to hear. One of my favorite shows is The Apprentice because at the end of the show you know that Donald Trump is going to turn to someone, point his finger, and say “You’re fired!” When you think of the phrase, “You’re fired!” your job is probably the first thing that comes to mind. “How am I going to support my kids without a job?” “How will the bills get paid?” However, being fired may not only refer to your job.

Another one of my favorite TV shows is “CHUCK”. In one episode, while Chuck was talking to his best friend Morgan, Morgan got upset because he discovered that Chuck had been lying to him a lot. Morgan also happens to be Chuck’s boss and Morgan was so upset that he turned to Chuck and said (bet you can guess it), “You’re fired!” Chuck replied, “What, from my job?!” Morgan’s response surprised me because he answered back, “No, from being my best friend.” Whoa! Now while you may have been fired from your job before, have you ever been fired as a friend? I can only imagine what it would feel like to be told that, “You’re not doing a good job as a friend anymore so I’m going to have to replace you.”

I’m sure that we’ve all had times when we feel like our friends are failing us or we’ve failed as a friend, I know that I certainly have. But I don’t know anyone who’s been physically fired as a friend. Have you ever thought about what it would be like if God ever fired you as a friend? He wouldn’t, because He is a kind, loving, and a merciful God, but what if God treated us like we treat each other? “I’m sorry but you never talk to me anymore so I’m going to have to let you go as my friend.” Have you been spending time with God in the way that he desires of you? I recently came to the realization that I haven’t been talking to God like I should, or spending adequate time with Him.

God has given us a willful nature and He doesn’t force us to do anything, He always gives us a choice. I realized that I was choosing television and Facebook, over Him, on a daily basis. He really wants to spend time with us, and I wasn’t making the time for it. God convicted me of this and I am now working to further strengthen my relationship with Him, and make sure that I am always talking things over with my Best Friend.

Spring is upon us and with that comes the beautiful weather and new life in the form of flowers and budding trees. Everything seems so new and fresh. It has inspired me to want to refresh my relationship with my heavenly Father, and my friends. This is one of the major goals that I would like to accomplish this spring, and I hope that you will do the same. The last words you want to hear are… “You’re fired!”



Till next time,
Tovah

I'll be back on Friday, August 13th, with new blog as a high school Senior!


Monday's Blog: Sasha is back with a new blog and inspiration for us to live "Healthy Lifestyles"

Women's Bible Study

The Kitchen Table is very happy to announce that we are going to have a 9 week online/virtual Women’s Bible Study, starting October 7, 2010!

Pat Betters “Woman of Wisdom” blogger will be teaching the classes. Pat has been in women’s ministry for over 20 years. She is an anointed and gifted teacher of God’s mighty Word! You will love her classes. You get out exactly what you put in. It is all up to you how far you want to go. That is the beauty of her classes. If life unscripted comes along, (which it has a way of doing) you are never behind and will not have to dropout until the next session.

We are prayerful that our virtual Women’s Bible Study will help close the gap for women who would other wise not be able to attend Bible Study. Once a week you will able to attend class in the comfort of your own home, without worry of finding a babysitter if you have young children, or if you are homebound yourself. There are many reasons women are not able to get out in the evenings but that does not stop their desire to study God’s Word in a group setting.

“Trusting God” is the study topic for this 9 week session. Pat will be teaching from our Jewish roots and what it is to have a relationship with God. Sisters, Pat is an awesome teacher; she makes the Bible come alive. There will be no boring prewritten lesson plans, just exciting insight into the greatest book of all—your "Bible". You will have ample opportunity for questions and interaction during class and during the week via our list serve. Only difference is that you will be able to do it in your PJ’s if you like. ~Smile~

Classes will be held on Thursday’s starting October 7, 2010, 7pm – 8pm EST, USA.

Registration is simple. Please send an email to thekitchentable2010@yahoo.com. In the subject write “Women’s Bible Study” and please give us your name.

The last class will be Thursday, December 9, 2010. There will not be a class on Thursday, November 25th.

Sisters, this is a great opportunity and we are very hopeful you will take advantage of this great gift to learn more about your relationship with God and what it really means to trust Him.

Seating is limited, so don't delay in registering to make sure you have a seat.



Blessings & Love,
Ponnie and all the Sisters at “The Kitchen Table”!

OUR STORY.....Part II

This first posted on June 2, 2010

Sorry I left you hanging. LOL!! But here’s the conclusion of....OUR STORY

I found a public charter school that was close to home and we just made the application deadline for the next school year. Having a background in both private and public school systems myself, I prepared Kaiya for public school by telling her you WILL experience culture shock. Some of the children won’t have the values you have. Some may curse, steal, be extraordinarily mean, and talk about or actually be sexually active. I think like most children she listened but she didn’t “hear” me. Every day after school she had a story to tell me about her adventures in public school. She experienced being teased for speaking proper English or “talking white” (I hate that term) as the kids called it. Isn’t that ironic? The child who once had a mild speech problem is now being teased for speaking proper English. When she came home she had many stories to tell me about her first week in public school and she couldn’t believe that I was right. Newsflash kiddo, I experienced that ‘from private school to public school’ culture shock too!

I received a call from the school social worker who explained that the teachers had concerns and would like to schedule another IEP. This time around, I was told that Kaiya is easily angered, doing inappropriate things in class such as barking like a dog or picking up objects from the floor and putting them in her mouth. The social worker, bless her heart, had conversations with Kaiya and really liked her. She observed Kaiya’s behavior and said that she thinks Kaiya has Asperger’s Syndrome. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are bright but lack social cues. In most cases, children are diagnosed at a younger age. I felt this was an accurate diagnosis, however I began to pray. I prayed for this 8 year struggle to be over. I just wanted Kaiya to be productive in school, make friends and have a “normal” life. I wish I could say I had the faith of a mustard seed or greater faith like my mother; but the truth is I was tired.

In Kaiya’s second semester things began to change. She stopped the quirky behaviors and started to slowly make friends… friends that spoke proper English and enjoyed the same activities such as anime, pop music, and Spongebob. By Kaiya’s last semester of the seventh grade, she was just shy of making the honor roll!

Fast forward to the present; Kaiya is finishing her eight grade year. Her first trimester she made the Honor Roll and her second trimester she made the Merit Roll (highest honors)! Kaiya was also accepted into a prestigious all girl college preparatory high school. I asked Kaiya what changed in her that she is excelling in school now. She said “I don’t know, I guess I’m maturing and it’s easier for me now.” I believe it was our prayers that made the difference. Not only is God awesome, he remembers our prayers!

I admit the fleshly part of me wanted to rise up and find those people who told me that something was wrong with my child. Especially that first grade teacher that failed her. I imagine I would present Kaiya’s Honor and Merit Roll certificates to her with a flourish and tell her “In your face, you were WRONG! By the way, you may have flunked her but she was promoted to her right grade that fall!” That was a passing thought…. Ok I thought about it a few times, I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t follow the direction of my flesh LOL!

Our story is a testimony that God hears our prayers and he hasn’t forgotten us. In Luke 11:6, The Message Bible says: What’s the price of 2 or 3 pet canaries? Some loose change right? But God never overlooks a single one. And He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail – even numbering the hairs on your head! Kaiya attended 6 schools in 8 years. Yes, 6 schools in 8 years. A few of the schools closed due to financial problems and a couple of times I moved her in order to find the right match where her self esteem wouldn’t be damaged, she could get a good education and it would be a good fit financially for me. This is simply our story, a true account from our lives. I would never suggest that there aren’t children who have ADD or Asperger’s, need medicine or extra help. I just believe although it was a difficult time especially in Kaiya’s life, maybe God didn’t want her to be labeled as we tend to do with children. “She’s a brat, he’s a whiny mama’s boy, he has ADD, and she has Asperger’s”. I truly feel if Kaiya had the right diagnosis years earlier, I may have given her excuses for her behavior and it’s possible she would not have excelled the way she’s excelling right now.

Much like the old slogan for Virginia Slims cigarettes, “We’ve come a long way baby!” We’re entering into a new and exciting chapter of our relationship. Kaiya is preparing for her 8th grade dance, class trip and graduation. This fall she starts her freshman year of high school. YIKES!!! I know this journey will bring new challenges. I plan to keep God first and fasten my seatbelt as Bette Davis wisely quipped in ALL ABOUT EVE.

Part I was posted Wednesday, May 19th, just in case you missed it!



See you in 2 weeks,
Jennifer

I'll be back on Wednesday, August 11th, with a new blog, hope to see you then!


Thursday's Blog: Special Annoucement on Women's Bible Study!

VIRTUAL BOOK CLUB...."Book 3" August 2010

Ladies….If you have been reading the Yada Yada Prayer Group books, then I’m sure you will agree with me….they are the best!!!! I was a little disappointed that book #5 was not in the mail today. Yes, it looks as if I’m going to read all 7 books. Well, I’ve ordered all of them so let’s hope so. LOL!! We will be holding the 3rd and last book club meeting of 2010, on August 21st, but don’t worry if you weren’t able to make it this time; we plan to be back the beginning of 2011 with 3 new books by 3 new authors.

But if you can it is not too late to join in, we are now reading The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Real (Book 3) and will have the book club call on Saturday, August 21st.
This is how it works.
1. You pick a date and time and register by sending an email to: thekitchentable2010@yahoo.com.
2. Place in subject : “Summer Book Club”
3. Put in your day of choice, “Saturday or Tuesday” (sorry you cannot mix and match dates, if you choose Saturday, it will be the 3rd Saturday of each month)
4. Make sure you put your name, city and state.
5. You will receive an email stating that you have been registered. And the call-in information for the call in center we will be using.
Make sure to put thekitchentable2010@yahoo.com in your address book so that our emails do not go into your spam box
6. You will receive a weekly email concerning the book we are reading that month. Just a little something to keep you engaged and excited before we come together to discuss it.
7. You will receive a reminder email (with call-in info again) a couple of days before the book club meets.

Please register as quickly as possible, seating is limited.

Ponnie Cousins will host on, August 21st,
(3 - 4:30pm ET), (2 - 3:30pm CT), (1 – 2:30pm MT), (12 – 1:30pm PT)

If you have any questions please feel free to contact Ponnie on Facebook, the above email address or my private email if you have it.


Wedneday's Blog: Jennifer "Single Working Mom"

Achieve Financial Peace by Taking Baby Steps

This blog first posted on February 22, 2010

I would like to introduce you all to the Baby Steps by Dave Ramsey. Initially I was going to explain what each one meant and how it worked. Then I thought, why re-invent the wheel? I have listed them below, directly from the above-named author’s website, daveramsey.com.

I will tell you that the Baby Steps work! My husband and I have been working these same Baby Steps in our own lives and we are truly experiencing Financial Peace! I urge you to seriously consider the lifestyle change that you will need to undergo in order get where you want to be financially.

Baby Step 1 - $1,000 Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is for those unexpected events in life that you can’t plan for: the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy, a faulty car transmission, and the list goes on and on. It’s not a matter of if these events will happen; it’s simply a matter of when they will happen.

This beginning emergency fund will keep life’s little Murphies from turning into new debt while you work off the old debt. If a real emergency happens, you can handle it with your emergency fund. No more borrowing. It’s time to break the cycle of debt!

Baby Step 2 - Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
List your debts, excluding the house, in order. The smallest balance should be your number one priority. Don’t worry about interest rates unless two debts have similar payoffs. If that’s the case, then list the higher interest rate debt first.

The point of the debt snowball is simply this: You need some quick wins in order to stay pumped up about getting out of debt! Paying off debt is not always about math. It’s about motivation. Personal finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. When you start knocking off the easier debts, you will see results and you will stay motivated to dump your debt.

Baby Step 3 - 3 to 6 months of expenses in savings
Once you complete the first two baby steps, you will have built serious momentum. But don’t start throwing all your “extra” money into investments quite yet. It’s time to build your full emergency fund. Ask yourself, “What would it take for me to live for three to six months if I lost my income?” Your answer to that question is how much you should save.

Use this money for emergencies only: incidents that would have a major impact on you and your family. Keep these savings in a money market account. Remember, this stash of money is not an investment; it is insurance you’re paying to yourself, a buffer between you and life.

Baby Step 4 - Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
When you reach this step, you’ll have no payments—except the house—and a fully funded emergency fund. Now it’s time to get serious about building wealth.

Dave suggests investing 15% of your household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement plans. Don’t invest more than that because the extra money will help you complete the next two steps: college savings and paying off your home early.

Why shouldn’t you invest less than 15%? Some people choose to invest a small amount, if anything, because they want to get a child through school or pay off the home in a hurry. But the kids’ degrees won’t feed you at retirement, and if you throw all your money into your mortgage at this point, you’ll end up having to sell the house and buy the book 72 Ways to Prepare Alpo and Love It. Bad plan.

Baby Step 5 - College funding for children
By this point, you should have already started Baby Step 4—investing 15% of your income—before saving for college. Whether you are saving for you or your child to go to college, you need to start now.

In order to have enough money saved for college, you need to have a goal. Determine how much per month you should be saving at 12% interest in order to have enough for college. If you save at 12% and inflation is at 4%, then you are moving ahead of inflation at a net of 8% per year!

Never save for college using: Insurance, Savings bonds (only 5-6% growth), Zero-coupon bonds. (only 6-8% growth), Pre-paid college tuition (only 7% inflation rate).

The best way to save for college is with Education Savings Accounts (ESAs) and 529 plans. Remember, college is possible without loans!

Baby Step 6 - Pay off your house early
Now it’s time to begin chunking all of your extra money toward the mortgage. You are getting closer to realizing the dream of a life with no house payments.

As you attack this last debt, you will gain momentum much like you did back in the second step of the debt snowball. Remember, having absolutely no payments is totally within your reach!

Baby Step 7 - Build wealth and give!
It’s time to build wealth and give like never before. Leave an inheritance for future generations, and bless others now with your excess. It's really the only way to live!

Golda Meir says, “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” Vow to never hold your money so tightly that you never give any away. Hoarding money is not the way to wealth. Save for yourself, save for your family’s future, and be gracious enough to bless others. You can do all three at the same time.


Peace & Blessings
Sharon

I will be back with a new blog Monday, August 9th! Until keep working your plan for financial peace and freedom.


Tuesday's Blog: Special Announcement about upcoming events! Please tune in.

Just Let It Go....Part I

If you want to read all of this 4 part series… blogs were posted as follows: Part I March 20, 2010, Part II April 3, 2010, and Part III April 17, 2010, and Part IV May 1, 2010

Philadelphia (the city in which I live) has been experiencing spring like weather for the past few days. It has been such a blessing and joy to have the sun every day and temps almost reaching 70. Of course we can’t pack away all the winter clothing just yet, it’s still March. And the month of March has been known from time-to-time to come in like a lamb and go out like a roaring lion. But none-the-less, God has given us a taste of what’s to come.

We easily embrace the change that comes with spring. We can’t wait to shed the boots, gloves, hats, and heavy outerwear. No one has to convince us that you don’t need to wear your wool coat when it is 75 degrees (Fahrenheit) it is something we so easily let go of. No one has to tell us to turn the heater off, or open up the windows to let fresh air in. It becomes a no brainer that you will no longer need a heavy comforter or electric blanket at night. No, letting go of the winter season and embracing spring is not something we have to be coerced into doing. But just think if we didn’t embrace letting go so easily how miserable we would be. Walking around in a wool coat when it’s so warm outside that you don’t even need a jacket would not be very comfortable. Trying to sleep with the windows closed and under a pile of blankets when it’s warm enough to have a fan on, would not make for a good night’s sleep. No way are we trying to hold on to the past season and not embrace the new. It just would not make sense. Yet we do it with the seasons of our lives. And just as not letting go of those things that help see us through the cold winter months and trying to make them work in the spring and summer would only bring misery, so is the same in our everyday natural lives.

As a counselor of women, over the years I’ve found that often we do not want to let go of past hurts. Why? There are many different reasons and I can’t go over all of them but I am believing that the Holy Spirit will guide me as to the most common to us.

I guess I have to start with childhood abuse. Abuse can wear a different colored coat but the effects are the same. Some women were sexually abused. That could range from being fondled to actual sexual intercourse. It could have been by one perpetrator or many. Or you might have been one that was beaten and battered. It could have been once a month or every day. You may fall into the category of being neglected, hungry and cold in the winter. Verbal abuse could have been your every day demon…”You ain’t blank, and you never will amount to blank, blank nothing!” As I said, “Abuse comes in many different ways, but the effects are the same.” The effects are good and the effects are bad. Now at this point I know that some of you are rising up and saying, “Good!! What good comes from abuse?! Lady, you don’t know what you are talking about!” Clam down and stay with me sisters, because through the Holy Spirit of God at the end we will be able to see how “Though the devil meant it for evil, God used it for good!”

When you are a child and bad things are done to you, it is not your fault and often you have no control over it. But there does come a time in your life that if you want to be free from the bad effects of your abuse then you have to stand up and take control of your life. The number one thing you have to do is begin the process of “Letting it go!” “But see you don’t understand” is what I so often hear when I counsel women about letting go. Why? I think because has humans we don’t like to confront the part we play in the poor decisions we’ve made in our lives, if it's easier to play the “blame game” and lay all our problems on the things that happened to us that were out of our control. And then sometimes it seems too painful to pull the covers off and really examine the rubble that lies within us. But we cannot get around it. With God’s help, we have to go through the mess.

A friend of mine has given me permission to use her life as an example. So let’s call her “Princess”. This woman came from a background of sexual abuse by a stepfather and a mother who after finding out chose to believe him (he didn’t do it) and allowed him to stay in the house. Yes, he continued. This same mother was also physically, verbally and emotionally abusive to her. So we have a girl child who grew up with very low self-esteem and self worth. And all of this was grounded in a deep root of rejection, and feelings that the only way for anyone to care for her was through sex. So thus began her life of poor decisions based on her childhood and emotional state. The world tells us that if you were abused, then you are going to be an abuser. If you were sexually abused that is why you are promiscuous. And now given with so many men in the spotlight being caught in a web of adultery, we now have that you can have a sexual addiction. The world always comes up with a way to justify its sin. But as for Believers there is something much better for us, and that is the healing grace of God! But you have to want it. How do you get it? You will have to confront the demons that have ruled your life and imprisoned you since you were a child.

Let’s get back to Princess, she was a woman who was very angry at life, but more so at her mother and at God. Because for the longest time she could not accept and understand that if God is so loving why did He allow her life to be so hard and so very miserable for so many years. And why did this God give her such a horrible mother? After all we do not have any say as to who our parents will be. And Princess will tell you that she hated her mother for many years. She made the declaration of her hatred to herself when she was 7 years old and her mother was pulling her by her hair because she wasn’t sitting still enough while she combed it. As a child she would lie in bed at night thinking of ways to kill her mother because she knew the abuse would stop if she were dead. Little did she know at the time that damage had already been done that would be with her for years to come. As a child Princess didn’t have a lot of friends and the children in her neighborhood often made fun of her and only added to the barrage of bad names her mother called her. She was told that she was ugly, worthless, stupid, cow dung, and any other thing you could think of. She never met her father and she was told most of her life that she lived with her mother, that he never wanted her and that he hated her. By the time Princess turned 18 and was legally old enough to leave her mother’s house, she was a mess being unleashed into a cruel world that would do its best to eat her up…..

I’m going to do something that I fussed with Ponnie for doing a couple of weeks ago when she wrote the two part blog “The Voice”. I’m going to stop here and pick it back up in two weeks. ~Smile~ I know it’s just starting to get juicy for some, but most of all; it is stirring up old emotions in others. I feel I’m being led by the Holy Spirit to stop now, and He knows better than I do. If you know someone who might benefit from what we will be talking about, please pass the blog on to them. If you are the one who will benefit, please do not run away. Stay with me as I help you to explore how to be free from the prison that abuse creates for those it has touched.

Know that I am praying for you.



Be blessed,
Pat

I will return Friday, August 6th, with a brand new blog! Hope to see you then.

Monday's Blog: Sharon will be back with more great "Financial Wisdom" for us"

Friends Wanted......

This blog first posted on March 18, 2010

One day after school Chris, Brandon and I were walking to the store and on the way home we ran into a 1st grade buddy of Brandon’s. He asked Bran where he had been and why he does not see him in school anymore. Brandon replied boldly that he was home schooled. The other boy said Oh and began to update Bran on all the “news” of our local elementary school. They talked for a moment and we resumed our journey home. As we walked Bran said to me, “Mom, I like being home schooled.” I knew that a “but” was soon to follow; you see I detected a note of sadness in Bran as he talked with his friend. He then said. “But I do not have any friends.” As my heart was breaking I reminded him that he had a lot of friends and cousins that he hangs out with often. You see along with having 12 nieces and nephews (From both sides of the family) we have 8 god children and host of very close friends who have children in Brandon’s age range (he just turned 8 by the way). But this is not what he meant because he only sees them on the weekend. He was saying that with the exception of his brother he has no other children to socialize with during the week. Brandon was trying to say that he was lonely.

Do you know how hard it is to hear your child express that he is lonely? It was heart wrenching partly because as a mother you don’t want your child to hurt in any way and partly because I felt the same way. I too was feeling alone and isolated in this new thing we were doing.

When I stopped working outside of the house I went through moments of isolation, but it did not last long. At various times I had friends who stayed home with their kids and we would talk and occasionally get together. At one time we had two cars and Brandon and I (it was just him at the time) would go to the mall and have lunch. Sometimes I would leave him, not by himself of course, duh! Anyway I would go out with a friend. Later when Christian came along I started to work part time instructing Early Childhood teachers. I would have trainings a couple of days and evenings throughout the week. I had sufficient adult interaction as well as time with the kids, things were good, until…Home schooling put both Brandon and I in the same position, isolated and seemingly friendless. Here we are closed off from the rest of the world forced to live a life of solitude (okay I know but haven’t you guessed by now that I have a flare for the dramatic). How could something good leave us with feelings of loneliness? What can we do to overcome this?

For Brandon the answer was simple get him involved in programs to interact with other kids during the week. There are so many activities available for children being homeschooled, plays, ballet, trips snowboarding and the list goes on. So what does he do you may ask. Well he was already in basketball and Cub Scouts and those are good but it did not really help the need for interaction throughout the day. You see basketball meet Friday evenings and Saturday mornings and Cub Scouts meet Thursday evenings, I put in a request to a local internet home school group which gave me a good lead on a coop in my area. That ended up being a dead end because the coop was filled to capacity, no room at the inn. Is this how Mary and Joseph felt? Probably not. Then the sky opened and from the heavens came a wondrous blessing that left me speechless. Me, speechless, yeah right. Seriously a letter came in the mail about classes, FREE classes I may add given by the program that we home school with. The times are perfect as well as the location. Brandon now takes an Acting and Musical Theater class, he too is a little on the dramatic side. He also takes a Visual Arts class. All three classes are held throughout the day and he is with kids his age who are also being home schooled. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

So you may be wondering what about you? Well the solution for me is not so simple. To be honest I find myself waiting with baited breath for Brian’s arrival in the evening. I am excited when the weekend comes and at times I feel disappointed when Sunday comes to an end. I do at time feel isolated, not so much lonely anymore but just separated. And you know as I write this I realize that God calls on us to do things and at times he will separate us so He can perfect some things in us. So please do not feel bad for me because I am choosing to look at this time as a time of pruning and perfecting. He is transforming me into the person He can use from glory to glory. Is it good to have people around? Sure and I have people I can call on and spend time with when I really need a break.

I know I did not impart any great words of wisdom to you. And to those who may be going through what I am you may be saying is that it? Unfortunately that is all I have. I can however encourage you to try and find a bright side and I can offer prayer. So let’s pray.....

.....Father in Jesus’ name I thank You for another opportunity to come together. Thank You for every person reading this blog and every parent and grandparent who have taken the plunge to educate their children at home. Father as they go through this journey they may experience the feeling of isolation or even loneliness. Remind them, remind us that we are not alone, that You promised not to leave us nor forsake us. Help us to see this time as a time of restoring and perfecting. And Father I ask that You will send opportunities to gather with those who are in the same position as us. Help us to find avenues even for our children to be with other kids who are being home schooled. Thank You Father that You are concerned about all that concern us. You love us and care for us, thank You for Your eternal love in Jesus’ name Amen!



Hugs and Kisses,
Cheryl

I'll be back on Thursday, August 5th, with a brand new blog!


Friday’s Blog: Pat, "Words of Wisdom"

The Voice.....Part II

This blog posted on March 11, 2010

…….Surprise is putting it mildly. For an appetizer he ordered snails. Did I mention this was a French restaurant? That's right, those slimy slugs with shells. Yuck! I refused to even taste them, just the thought of that in my mouth made the tire under my breast hurt even more then it had. Plus I couldn't really drink anything and I wouldn't have been able to rinse the stuff down. Have you heard anywhere that he said I looked nice? That's because he didn't!!!! Well, as you have already guessed our date was starting off on the wrong foot, so to salvage what I could, I lied and said I was allergic to certain types of shellfish. Do snails fall under that? I wasn't sure but it sounded good and he bought it. Phew, I forgot how much fun dating could be! ~Sigh~

My napkin fell from my lap and when I bent over to pick it up, I head the most awful sound you could imagine. No, I didn't cut the cheese, even though it probably would have given me a little more room in those pants, what I heard were my beautiful silk pants ripping from the crotch all the way up the back to the top of the waste band. Lord, what do I do now? Remember the incident at home with the sweat messing up my makeup, I found myself there again.

Dinner was finally served and it proved to be good and safe. Only problem was the lobster in the salad, he thought I should pass with my allergies and all that, but as I had explained it was certain kinds of shellfish. He must have been a fool it he thought I was passing up lobster. See what a lie will do for you.

The evening was far from what I had allowed my mind to fantasize it would be the past few days. My date was not attentive at all. In fact all he did was talk about himself. Me, me, me, me, and more me! And just when I thought he couldn't tell me another thing about him, he started with his childhood years. Now I was told he was a Christian man who loved the Lord. I found him to be a man who only loved himself. I wanted to go home! As much as I love French pastries, I passed on dessert. My mouth was so dry and it felt like most of my food was still stuck in my chest, and to top it off my bladder was screaming," RELIEVE ME, NOW! I thought at that moment, "I've got to get out of here!"

I looked at my watch and mumbled something about an early appointment I had the next day. Prince charming was looking more and more like a frog to me. How do I get up with this split in my pants and prance across this huge dinning room? Oh, the heck with it, I no longer had the desire to impress this self-centered pompous fool sitting across from me. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I split my pants a little while ago and I need you to walk closely behind me so that no one will see." Now even the dumbest of men would have kept their mouth closed and agreed to help you, but not this one. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "That's what you get for wearing clothes that are at least one size to small for you." That was it! I didn't need his help, in fact I didn't care who saw my black shinny panty girdle, screaming through the tear in my pants....."Hey everybody, look at me!" I rose, told him to have a blessed life and left with my head held high. That was the only way to keep the tears back that again wanted to mess up my makeup.

It was dark by now and so I wasn't concerned that anyone could see the split outside as I waited for my car. With the extra room I now had in my pants it made it easy to jump in my car and speed away. "Men" I screamed, "Who needs them!" Those tears that had waited patiently all evening finally were allowed to have their way to flow freely, who cared about makeup now. I cried for 15 of the 25-minute drive and you would think that would have helped my bladder's insistence on being full. About 5 minutes from my house I started to pray for mercy and command my bladder to wait!!!!

As I ran up the steps to my home and frantically tried to unlock the 4 locks on my front door, my bladder announced very loudly...."I Am in Control NOW!" and with that, the flood gates opened and I stood on the porch and peed all over my brand new $75 mules, and down my imported Asian silk pants that cost way too much to mention. You would think I would have been dehydrated by then, but there were more tears to come. How could this night be such a horror, I've spent the last two weeks planning so hard for it? I practically starved myself and added two extra days at the gym. I faithfully did my facials 3 times a week, and never once feel asleep with makeup on. Spent money on a professional manicure, and shoes I will never wear again. How did this turn out so wrong?

After my shower I laid across my bed giving into more tears and asking the Lord why? He answered, "I told you not to go, but you wouldn't listen to Me." "I've told you to always be yourself, but you didn't listen to Me." "I’ve told you over and over that I love you just the way you are, but you refused to believe Me." I said, "It is My job to pick the man for you," but you wouldn't wait. "And even after all the many times that you ignored Me over the past few days to have your way, I still tried to spare you, by telling you to "Wear something else," and you ignored Me." "I hope you have learned the lesson, that when you leave Me out, you will never receive My best.

I pray that I have brought tears of laughter to your eyes as you read this. The story was fictional, factual, meaning…. I took a lot of different scenarios from the many years of dating before Christ and gleaned from them and embellished for the story. But the bottom line is we so often ignore the voice of God when He is saying something we don't want to hear, but be weary my dear sisters because the ending is not always as hilarious as a sitcom. When you hear the voice of God instructing you, Stop, Listen and Obey. Even if it is not what you want to hear, it could save your life.

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

I will see you Wednesday, August 4th, with a brand new blog.

Thursday's Blog: Cheryl, "Diary of a Homeschool Mom!"

WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT!

This blog first posted on April 27, 2010

“For we walk by faith, not by sight”.....
......2 Corinthians 5:7

Since the days of Spring are upon us…I decided to walk home from work. I was enjoying the time outside, breathing in the fresh air and the breeze that comes along with the spring season.

As I was walking home, similar to the lady in the picture above, I started to think to myself. Which foot do I start walking on?? I never thought to ask myself this question, but I did, LOL. I start walking with my right foot…Which foot do you start walking on?? I think this will have you getting up from your seat and finding out for yourself, LOL!! I have to share this…Isaiah, my son, was reading this paragraph and actually tried it out…it was funny to see, he starts walking with his right foot too!

After the funny thoughts of my physical walk, I started to think of my spiritual walk. My spiritual walk consists of walking forward. There is no benefit to walking backward. It will only take me toward my past. Who really wants to go back to the past, I know I don’t. Walking forward has many benefits. You can focus your eyes on what lies ahead. You can see (with caution) the stumbling blocks and use the detour road(s) Jesus provides. HE always provides you a way out of a situation.

Since I have been talking about walking, Peter comes to mind during the occasion when Jesus walks on water toward the boat and Peter asks to walk on the water toward him. He used his mustard seed faith to walk on the water. However, when he looked down to see with doubt in his eyes his walk; he started to sink in the water. That is why the scripture “For we walk by faith, not by sight” really came to mind.

I thought about this scripture and what it means in my life…It means to walk with my mustard seed faith, trust in the promises God has for my life and even if I don’t see the promises yet, KEEP WALKING!!! All Peter had to do was keep walking forward by faith and focus his eyes on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We all should learn from this example…walk forward in faith and focus on the Lord!

Walking by faith, not by sight is a process...always remember Jesus did not leave us alone to fend for ourselves, he left the Holy Spirit to guide us through the process. Thank you Lord!

Prayer
Lord Jesus, I pray for all the women who have read this blog. That they may increase their mustard seed faith and not lose sight of their purposes and promises you have for each and every one of them. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Bible Scripture Reference
2 Corinthians 5:7, Matthew 14:22-36

Dictionary Reference
The word “WALK” in the dictionary means to advance by steps, to come or go easily or readily, and to pursue a course of action or a way of life.

Bible Dictionary Reference
The word “WALK” in the Bible Dictionary means to roam, advance by steps, and to pursue a course of action or a way of life.



God bless you always,
Maria Guzman

I will be back with a new blog on Tuesday, August 3rd. See you then!


Wednesday's Blog: Ponnie, "Living Single & Loving It"







¡ANDAMOS POR FE, Y NO POR VISTA!



“porque por fe andamos, no por vista;”...
.....2 Corintios 5:

Ya que los días de la primavera están sobre nosotros ... decidí caminar del trabajo a casa. Estaba disfrutando el tiempo al aire libre, respirando el aire fresco y la brisa que viene junto con la temporada de primavera.

Mientras caminaba a casa, similar a la dama de la foto de arriba, me puse a pensar a mí misma. ¿Con qué pie empiezo a caminar? Nunca pensé que me haría esta pregunta a mi misma, pero lo hice, LOL. Yo empecé a caminar con mi pie derecho ... ¿Con qué pie tu empieza a caminar? Creo que esto te hara levantarte de tu asiento y descubrir por ti mismo, LOL! (Tengo que compartir esto ... Isaías (mi hijo) estaba leyendo este párrafo y, de hecho lo probé ... fue divertido ver, el también empieza a caminar con el pie derecho!)

Después de la idea divertida de mi caminata física, comencé a pensar en mi camino espiritual. Mi vida espiritual consiste en caminar hacia adelante. No hay ningún beneficio a caminar hacia atrás. Sólo me llevará hacia mi pasado. ¿Quién realmente quiere volver al pasado, sé que yo no? Caminar hacia adelante tiene muchos beneficios, usted puede enfocar su mirada en lo que se avecina. Usted puede ver (con cuidado) las piedras de tropiezo y el uso de la carretera desvío (s) Jesús ofrece. (Siempre te ofrece una manera de salir de una situación).

Desde que he estado hablando acerca de caminar, me viene a la mente, Pedro (de la Biblia) durante una ocasión cuando Jesús caminaba sobre las aguas hacia el barco y Pedro le pidió caminar sobre el agua hacia él. Él utilizó su fe, su semilla de mostaza para caminar sobre el agua. Sin embargo, cuando miró hacia abajo para ver con duda en sus ojos su andar, él empezó a hundirse en el agua. Es por esto la que la escritura “porque por fe andamos, no por vista;” en realidad vino a la mente.

Pensé en esta escritura y lo que significa en mi vida ... significa caminar con mi fe de semilla de mostaza, la confianza en las promesas que Dios tiene para mi vida y aunque yo no veo las promesas, sin embargo, sigo caminando! Todo lo que Pedro tenía que hacer era seguir caminando hacia adelante por fe y enfocar la mirada en nuestro Señor y Salvador Jesucristo. Todos debemos aprender de este ejemplo ... andar en fe y centrarse en el Señor!

Por fe andamos, no por vista es un proceso…recuerda siempre que Jesús no nos dejo solas para defendernos nosotras mismas, sino dejó el Espíritu Santo para guiarnos en el proceso. ¡Gracias Señor!

Oración
Señor Jesús, mi oración es por todas la mujeres que han leído este blog. Que ellas puedan aumentar su fe de semilla de mostaza y no perder de vista sus propósitos y promesas que tiene para cada uno de ellas. En el nombre de Jesús, Amén.

Referencia en la Escritura Bíblica
2 Corintios 5:7, Mateo 14:22-36

Referencia en el Diccionario
La palabra “ANDAR” en el Diccionario significa avanzar por pasos, venir o ir fácilmente o listo, y perseguir un curso de acción o un estilo de vida.

Referencia en el Diccionario Bíblico
La palabra “ANDAR”en el Diccionario Bíblico significa vagar, avanzar por pasos, y perseguir un curso de acción o un estilo de vida.



Dios te bendiga siempre,
María Guzmán

Happy Birthday!!....much more than mere words!

This blog first posted March 15, 2010

Today is a very special day to me because it marks another year of life for a very special person in my life, my dad. Dad turns 68 years old today! (Happy Birthday Daddy!). I always tend to get very reflective and emotional during the days and weeks surrounding my father’s birthday. I praise God for my dad’s life and am so grateful that he is still here with me today because if it had not been for God’s Grace and His Mercy...my dad would not be here today. You see 5 years ago my dad decided that after suffering from depression for many years that he didn’t want to live any more and made yet another unsuccessful attempt to commit suicide...the 3rd time over a 3 year time period.

I want to take the time today to talk about a health issue that affects many women in the body of Christ but goes ignored because of the stigma that is attached to it....that health issue being “Mental Illness”. Specifically, let’s talk about depression. Depression has been called the “common cold” of mental orders and it has been estimated that it disrupts the lives of 15 million Americans each year. The majority of these people are women. Many of us have suffered from situational depression over disappointments in our lives and fortunately, we were able to “bounce back” from those moments. However, for some, depression can be a crippling disease most often brought on through clinical imbalances/biological causes and often times needing medication in order to help deal with it. Unfortunately, nearly two-thirds of women who do experience this kind (clinical depression) never seek treatment.

What are some of the symptoms of depression in Women?
*persistent sadness, anxious, or "empty" moods
*loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex
*restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying
*feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
*sleeping too much or too little, early-morning awakening
*appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
*decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down"
*thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
*difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
*persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as
headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

If you or someone that you love is experiencing any of the symptoms and the symptoms have persisted for more than 2 weeks or if the symptoms are interfering with your work, school or family life, you may be suffering from depression and should see treatment. Please don’t ignore it.

When my father made his first attempt at suicide, it was devastating for me. For the first time, I was forced into dealing with dad’s illness. Before “that day” I never took his issues seriously...in fact, there were times that I resented him because I couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t just “get his act together”. I couldn’t understand how he could spend HOURS in the bed at a time nor could I understand his lack of desire to interact with the family as he should. I couldn’t understand his irritability at times and his erratic behavior. I knew that he was depressed but I thought it should be easy for him to “shake it off”. Shoot, he just needed to spend more time in church, more time in the Word and he needed to pray without ceasing. Where was his faith???

I believe that it was through our prayers and our faith that my father is delivered (and I also believe that it was through those same prayers that I was delivered from such thinking)....but it was through MANY years of praying and keeping the faith...and many doctors and different medications as well. (Lord, I continue to Thank and Praise YOU!) Once we (my dad and family) came to the realization that this was a medical condition no different than diabetes, hypertension etc, then we could help my dad get the help and treatment that he so desperately needed. I believe that it was through our many years of fasting, praying and standing on our faith of who God is that God healed my dad by putting the right doctors and therapists in his life to treat him. I believe it was through our fasting, praying and standing on our faith that God gave them the wisdom and the knowledge to put him on the right medications and to successfully help him through this process. However, did you notice that I initially said that my dad attempted suicide 3 different times over 3 years? Goes to show you....it was a long hard road. But God is Faithful and He gave us the strength to endure. Thank you Lord!!

There may be someone who is reading this blog right now who is experiencing the kind of pain/depression/hopelessness that my dad once felt. Sister, don’t give up....know that God really loves you and wants you to be set free. He wants you to have the joy and the peace that you may have given up on. He has people already strategically set up all around you to help you on your road to recovery but you have to trust Him to do so. My prayer is that the Spirit of God will put into your mind the name of the person, church or facility that you can call right now to ask for help and that He will give you the courage to go to that person or to call that number and tell them that you need help, right now. I’m believing that God has that person on standby that He is giving them the wisdom to take the next steps with you.

There may be someone reading today who knows of someone who is suffering from depression. Don’t ignore it any longer! I pray that today is the day that God gives you the courage to go to that person and that He will also give you the wisdom and knowledge to find the resources that you need to help this love one. I also pray that you will not become discouraged and that your faith is strong to help you endure the process.

National Suicide Hotlines USA
Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK(1-800-273-8255 )



In Christ,
Sasha

I will back on Monday, August 2nd with a new blog. Hope to see you then.


Tuesday's Blog: Maria, "Life Unscripted"

How Long Is Too Long?

This blog first posted February 25th.

I do not like the word “patience”. At least not when it’s me who is supposed to be patient. The whole sound of the word gives the idea that I’m supposed to wait for something that I want RIGHT NOW! Patience is a virtue that I never feel like I posses and this has always bothered me. I do not want to wait for everything to work itself out. I want to lose those ten pounds right now and I want the college degree and a to die for job tomorrow and (the biggest one for girls my age) I want that guy to ask me out right now!!!

So I started to wonder, after school options began to get postponed and jobs became non-existent (in my state at least) and another year passed with me being single and pretty much I realized that I would have to wait for what I want: what does it mean to be patient? Does it mean that you should feel perfectly content with the way God is working out your life right now? It’s easy to say I’m content but let’s face it; waiting for God to act can get just a little uncomfortable, especially when what you want so badly isn’t what He wants for you at the moment. Does patience mean sitting back and just letting God take care of everything? I really don’t get it.

The dictionary (my old friend) says Patience is: an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay or quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence. This suggests, not a feeling but an action or an attitude. Maybe it’s about learning to look patient when you feel like you’re going to explode? But as I was reading my Bible and different verses and stories on patience I realized something: Trust is an essential part of patience. If I do not always trust the one leading me, how patient will I be when things do not go my way? If I could really, truly trust that God only has good and amazing things ultimately in store for me, wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier to wait for those things (especially if I realized that God’s blessings do not run out like an Early Bird sale at Kohl’s). Anyways I think if we even start to learn how to place our trust in God and not in ourselves, God begins to grant us the patience that we need to make it through whatever situation he has us in right now.


Blessings,
Lydia

Until Saturday, August 27th, enjoy everyday you wait on the Lord!


Monday's Blog: Sasha Brown, "Beauty & Healthy Lifestyes"

Watched Any Good TV Lately?

This first posted February 25th.

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”- 1 John 4:11-12

I had planned when I started thinking about writing this blog for The Kitchen Table that it would pretty much be a monolog of my travels– kind of an if-I-can-do-it-so-can-you type of thing. But this past couple of weeks, God has really been talking to my heart about judgments, criticism, loving one another, and – of all things – terrorists. So when I opened BibleGateway.com and found the verse above staring me in the face, I knew my blog for this month had to be modified from its original format somehow!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never really been one to get into the daytime soaps. General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, All My Children… Those never appealed to me. For one thing, the acting is so appallingly bad; I don’t understand how anyone can stand to sit through them. For another, the story lines are always so transparent, it’s almost like a 5-year-old could do a better job with them…

Now the evening drama shows / serials are a different matter… Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon’s Crest back in the day (how’s that for aging myself in one fell swoop??!!)… … Then Friends, Two and a Half Men, House, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice - to name but a few.

So how does all this TV talk tie in with traveling and terrorists? It will, I promise…

When I was a teenager, my mom used to rent out one of our bedrooms to students from the local college – not because we had so much spare room, but because she needed the extra income (this was in the days before we became a foster family). To begin with, we had 2 Chinese girls who shared the room; then a Greek mother and son – he was in college, she couldn’t bear for him to be away from her, so she came along too (they were lovely people, they really were). Our last lodger was a young man from Jordan, Basim. By the time he moved in, I was in my early teens. He was the first contact I’d had with anyone from the Middle East; through him, we met his family – brothers, sisters, parents, cousins – and his friends – and other young men his age. Basim was a guy with a lot of pent-up energy and no real idea of what to do with it, so he mainly took it out driving liking a maniac around the local towns and country roads. (Sadly, it was driving that eventually took his life before he even made it to 30.) One thing he did like to do was to sit around and openly, obviously talk about my girlfriends, my sister & me with his friends – in Arabic, in front of us, knowing that we couldn’t understand, and that that would drive me at least nuts…

That’s how I came to major in Arabic (and German – but that’s a story for another day) at University, and how I came to live in Egypt for several months as a young 20-something. Prior to moving to Egypt, I’d had some contact with Arab / Middle Eastern / Egyptian men (don’t ever make the mistake of calling Egyptians Arabs – they get really offended, as they are still a Pharaonic people, not an Arab one!) – Basim and his friends, guys at my college – who’d all given me the impression that they viewed Western girls as basically nothing more than unpaid hookers there for their pleasure – a perception that I could not figure out and that often greatly offended me – until I moved to Egypt.

You see, the foreign TV shows that they got in Egypt – and which we watched through greatly different eyes on moving over there – were just the ones I mentioned above – General Hospital, Dallas, the older precursors to things like Grey’s Anatomy, Friends and so forth… And you know what literally screamed out at me about those shows – what had never, ever occurred to me before, but which has since been reinforced over and over and over again? Western women pretty much ARE portrayed as unpaid hookers. In every one of those shows, the guys look at the girls – or the girls look at the girls – or the guys look at the guys – and SOMEONE’S panties are falling to the ground. Married? Not a problem! Your best friend’s partner? So what! A complete stranger in a bar? Even better!

How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Luke 6:41-43

Remember that these images – these often poorly scripted, badly acted sitcoms, soaps and dramas – are the only exposure to the Western world that most Egyptians – indeed, most Arabs – will ever have, as they are largely too poor to leave their own countries. What is portrayed in these shows – and the movies just like them – is the picture they have of us, and is so, so vastly different to their own culture – their own beliefs – their own way of living and behaving – as to be almost beyond belief for them. So of course they’re going to look at Western women as the closest thing to unpaid hookers – after all, just look at us the right way, and they know what’s supposed to happen next!

This is how we end up being the Great White Satan to them. They don’t know anything else about us oftentimes except these shows. The education system they have doesn’t explore culture in the West anymore than our own explores cultures in the Middle East or the Orient. The things we perceive as freedoms here are seen as shameful, often criminal acts there – and can lead to disgrace at the least and death at the most if a native is caught behaving in such a way.
It’s easy; once you get an understanding of what little they see and know about us, to see how fanaticism – the deep-seated desire to protect and defend – can be born. From there, it’s a short step to terrorism – taking actual steps to protect the “good”, the “righteous”, the “clean” way to live…

Traveling – alone or in groups – to places unknown helps cancel out those negative images; it helps to make the world a smaller, more understandable, less threatening place to live – and helps us gain insights and understandings into each others’ ways of life and cultures, by each of us taking the time, making the effort, and reaching out to learn something about another culture. To see the world through another’s eyes –and to understand how they got their perceptions about us, and we ours about them…

Father, I pray that you will give each of us a way to reach out to someone from another place, another culture, to learn more about where they come from. Open our eyes to the similarities between us and not just the differences, and help us to bring about YOUR peace by making the world a smaller, more understandable place for everyone. Amen.




Blessings & Hugs
Esther-Marie

I will be back to share with you on Thursday, August 25th...hope to see you then!


Friday's Blog: Lydia, "Eighteen"

OUR STORY....Part 1

This story first posted May 19, 2010

In the classic movie All ABOUT EVE, Bette Davis says these famous words: “Fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night!” That quote describes my experiences with Kaiya’s elementary and middle school years. Kaiya’s school career began in Christian private schools. In pre- Kindergarten, the teacher reported that Kaiya won’t sit still, she may have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and may need medication. I dismissed what her teacher said by thinking “She’s 4-5 years old. Do you really expect a 4 or 5 year old to sit still for hours at a time? I know adults that can’t do that!” By the time Kaiya reached the first grade, the teacher had concerns that Kaiya wasn’t keeping up with the kids in her class, her handwriting is awful (Well, so is mine! My mom has the pretty handwriting in the family. My younger sister and I obviously missed that gene), she won’t sit still, maybe she’s ADD (again?), and she pretends to be different characters during class time. When children are playing family, instead of Kaiya choosing to be the mom or daughter, Kaiya chooses to be the dog! I can laugh about this now but I didn’t think it was so funny then. I’m also well aware of Kaiya’s affinity to pretend to be different characters; she also created some of her own! I’ll save that story for a future blog, LOL! Out of all of her teacher’s concerns the ones that worried me was Kaiya’s inability to stay focused on class work and homework was a nightly struggle. You would think that I’m finished with her teacher’s complaints… Oops! I mean concerns, right? WRONG! She was also concerned that Kaiya pronounced “L” words with the letter “Y”. For example, the word “like” was pronounced “yike” and “yellow” was pronounced “lellow”.

It got to the point that her teacher insisted that we have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting with special educators to discuss Kaiya’s lack of progress. At that meeting, the experts told her teacher: “Give her a break; all kids learn differently, she’s fine.” She was also evaluated by a speech therapist who said she’ll grow out of her problem and speak clearly as she matures. I was elated! As a parent, it feels good when experts validate that your child is “normal”. Nevertheless, Kaiya’s first grade teacher failed her at the end of the school year and recommended that she spend another year in first grade with her. I said, “She MUST be crazy, that AIN’T happening!” Kaiya was transferred to a different private Christian school.

Within a few weeks at the new school, the principal realized that Kaiya is bright and although she struggles with class work and math, she doesn’t need to be in the first grade. She promoted Kaiya to the second grade. Praise God! However, that school couldn’t keep teachers due to the small salary and from my understanding NO salary at times. So there was no consistency in her education and I transferred Kaiya to another school for the fourth grade.

Her next school was structured, but once again I heard: “Has she been checked for ADD?” from her teachers. The teacher also reported that Kaiya was playing with the boys instead of the girls. Kaiya reported to me that the girls wouldn’t play with her because she’s “bad” and always in trouble. Having my own experiences with the cliquish nature of young girls and grown women, my heart began to hurt. I asked God: “Why is school so difficult for Kaiya? Is it too much to ask to have a “normal child”? I don’t want Kaiya to chase after the boys who are starting to go through their “Girls stink” phase and I don’t want her to be mistreated by the girls. Please help Lord, Kaiya needs to do well in school and to make friends…. And frankly Lord, I need a break from the constant negativity about my child.”

My mother told me to read Daniel 1:17, God gave them knowledge and skill in all learning and wisdom (paraphrasing the King James Version) over Kaiya and to pray. My mother also kept the whole family in prayer. Thank God for a praying mother!

Things started to improve slightly for Kaiya at this school. Instead of seeing C’s and D’s with an occasional B, her report card had B’s and C’s with an occasional A! Kaiya continued with that school for 2 years until its untimely closing due to financial problems.

Here we go again, another new school… this time I chose a secular private school where children are encouraged to be different. Kaiya experienced some negativity from one student but she also made a few friends. I thought, “This may work!” Apparently Kaiya was “too” different for them, because teachers once again approached with the ADD, handwriting and class work concerns. A new concern was that she isn’t as mature as the other girls. From my observation, some of the girls in her class had diva attitudes, wore makeup and behaved like miniature grown women. I told them that if your definition of being mature is having an attitude, talking about having boyfriends and wearing makeup; I prefer Kaiya stay immature! At this point I was at my wits end from the years of hearing teachers say negative things, questioning her intelligence and her behavior in the classroom. I would like to say that I sat down, put my arm around her and gently said “Kaiya, I know you’re a bright girl, you need to show everyone else how bright you are. Please stop misbehaving, I love you! Sounds cute, but this is real life, not a TV show. This is what actually happened, I told her: “You’re in the sixth grade and it’s time to grow up! You can sit still, you can write neatly, and you can stop being so weird! (Oh my goodness, did she tell her child to stop being weird? Yes she did!) At our third IEP meeting, the experts once again said that Kaiya was fine. At this point I wasn’t so sure that I believed them myself but I continued to pray. Towards the end of the school year I searched for another school because tuition at this school was draining my pockets.

I’m sorry, but I must stop at this point. I hope that you will return in two weeks to read the EXCITING conclusion of how God saved a frazzled mother from losing it, and a daughter from hating school. God is truly awesome! ~Smile~



See you in 2 weeks,
Jennifer

I'll be back on July 28th, please make sure you stop by for Part 2!



Thursday's Blog: Esther-Marie, "World Travel & Single Gals"

CARS, CARS and more CARS!

This blog first posted on April 19, 2010

Do you remember your first car? The experience of saving up for it, of picking it out, of driving it home for the first time, of showing it to all of your friends? I remember my first car. It was a 1994 Saturn SL2. It was a cute car. I made one mistake; I purchased it on payments, 48 months worth. Now I know this seems fairly normal, but over the years I have come to realize that normal is broke. So I have been on a journey to be weird. And my journey has led me to subscribe to the notion that you can have a car without a car payment.

How is this possible, you might ask? Saving up and paying cash. The problem that we have is a severe allergy to delayed gratification. OKAY, so maybe not everyone, but most do. Think for a moment how much you pay per month on your car. Now think about how much money you could save if you did not have a car payment. Why you could be a millionaire!

Here’s the 411 on car payments, per Dave Ramsey:
Recent statistics show that one-third of car buyers sign up for a six-year loan at an average interest rate of 9.6%. Among these buyers, the average price of the car is just over $26,000. This means that one-third of the cars you see on the road are dragging a $475 payment behind them.

The car dealer won’t tell you that your awesome new car loses about 25% of its value the instant you drive it off the lot. After four years, your car has lost about 70% of its value! What does that mean? After six years, you’ve paid almost $33,000 for a $26,000 car, which is now worth maybe $6,000. Not a good deal.

Here’s a new plan. What if you bought a cheap $2,000 car just to get around for 10 months? Then you take that $475—the average car payment—save it every month, and pay for a new car (with cash!), instead of giving it to the bank.

After 10 months of doing that, you’ll have $4,750 to use for that newer ride. Add that to the $1,500–2,000 you can get for your old beater, and you have well over $6,000. That’s a major upgrade in car in just 10 months—without owing the bank a dime!

But the fun doesn’t end there. If you keep consistently putting the same amount of money away, 10 months later you would have another $4,750 to put toward a car. You could probably sell that $6,000 vehicle for about the same price you paid 10 months before—meaning you now have $11,000 to pay for a car, just 20 months after this whole process started.

The bottom line with this exercise is simply this—what could you do with that $475 if you weren’t paying for the car every month? Anything you wanted!

Think about it this way: If you were to invest that $475 (remember, this is the average car payment in the U.S.) into a good mutual fund with a 12% rate of return, you would have over $100,000 in 10 years! At 20 years, you would have made $470,000. And at 30 years? That mutual fund would be worth $1.6 million!

The numbers will make your head spin, but it really just comes down to simple math. The less money you are spending on your car every month, the more money you have to put into other more important things: your kids’ college fund, your retirement, and paying off any other debt you might have.

If you’ll just follow this simple plan, your life could be dramatically different 10 years from now.

You can live without a car payment!



Peace & Blessings
Sharon

I will have more for you on Monday, July 26th! Until then keep working your plan for financial peace and freedom.


Tuesday's Blog: The Kitchen Table has some exciting news, so please stop by!

It Only Takes One Decision to Change Your Life

This blog posted January 2, 2010, and is a good 6 month check point for some of the goals we set for this year and how we are doing.

Decisions are something that we have to make every day from the moment we wake up to the moment we lie down. The alarm goes off, “Do I hit the snooze button again or do I get up now?” I’m tired, “Do I go to bed early or try to stay up and watch a little TV?” And in between those two every day events, there are so many more decisions to make. Some we do by habit, others we do from commitment and often we are just going with the flow. But there are times in our lives that one poor decision can have lasting consequences that can be very devastating. Driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol can put you in a wheel chair for the rest of your life, cause you to be responsible for the death or injury of others, or even send you to jail. It can also take your life. But there is a flip side to all of this and that is, one good decision can also change the caliber of your life for the better.

Being a teacher of women, someone asked me a couple of weeks ago, “What information would you give women to help them be successful in their New Year’s resolutions?” I’m not a big fan of “New Year’s Resolutions” so I had to take a minute to think about what’s the common thread for us as women on resolutions. The more I thought about it the more I realized the list of things we jump up and say we are going to do or would like to do for the New Year is quite substantial. But there is one thing I can think of that will cover anything on that list and more. It is, “This year, I’m going to obey God!” Yep, that about says it all.

Somehow as Believers we have gotten off track to think that we can pick and choose what we do as far as the Word of God is concerned. Beep! Wrong!!! If we are going to live to our fullest potential then we have to start with, “What does God have to say about this in my life?” And whatever it is, I’m going to do it!

How do we get started? I suggest that you begin with taking a hard look at that thing you want to change the most. For most of my adult life, I struggled with my weight. I would lose weight only to gain it back and even pick up some extra pounds I didn’t have before. But when I began to see (through the Word of God) that my eating was much deeper than just taking in too many calories or not exercising enough, then I was able to get to the root of my problem. I was using food to help me deal with certain emotions. It was a god to me and also a comfort in some ways. The truth is, God did not make food to comfort us, He made it for fuel and nourishment to the body. He never intended for food to be our friend, *Yeshua, is our Friend. And the Holy Spirit is the one in which we gain and receive comfort. As I began to get to the root of my overeating and made the decision to treat my body as the temple of God and take authority over my flesh, things turned around for me. As I took one day at a time, focusing on obedience to God, food began to lose the hold it had had for years. That was the biggest blessing to me, I was FREE!! The extra blessing or the gravy you might say was that I did begin to lose weight, dropped about 5 sizes, and I have not gained it back.

I used my weight issue as an example because losing weight and getting healthy is one of the top 3 New Years resolutions for women. But no matter what it is that you want to change in your life, you first must realize you cannot do it apart from Yeshua and obedience. You cannot expect your finances to change for the better, if you don’t do what God says concerning your money. If you don’t tithe then you are going to have money problems. If you spend your bill money on things that you shouldn’t then you will always find yourself behind in your bills and your credit rating low. Ask yourself, “Why is it that you are such a poor steward of your money? How do you view money?” We must get to the root of why we struggle or have problems in certain areas in our lives. Deciding to obey God period will change your life forever….for the Good!

There is no easy or might I say, lazy, way to achieve this. You must spend time reading the Bible. But I do want to say, that the King James Version is not “the be all to end all” that some people believe. First, Yeshua didn’t speak King James English, He spoke Hebrew and Aramaic. So for anyone who has been taught that King James is the only real Bible, you now know better and are free to try other translations. I say this because over the years I have met too many women with this misconception, and since King James can be somewhat difficult to read, they stopped trying. So if you don’t have a translation that suits you, please look for one that does. Also if you are not one who has been reading your Bible on a consistent basis, please don’t try to go from 0 to 90 all at once and try to read a chapter every day when you hardly read a chapter a month, or better yet, don’t try the formula for reading the Bible in a year. Make a realistic commitment. It can be 15 minutes day. But whatever it is, stick to it. You will also need a good Bible concordance and study guide. Another biggie, you must read the Old Testament too. It is a must, because without it you won’t really understand God, and it will help you with your understanding of the New Testament. And if possible, please attend a Women’s Bible Study. A good Women’s Bible study will help you have a renewed mind in Christ and His way of how a woman of God should be.

Second, surround yourself with women who are positive in the Lord, and stay away from the self-righteous, judgmental ones who think they have arrived. There is a little test I tell women to try to help them judge where people are at. It is often impossible to tell from an outward appearance who people really are because so many in the church have practiced and polished their appearance of being holy in such a way, that new converts or baby Christians are easily fooled. Take a biblical truth you know is right, and really flows against what the world says, and twist it a bit to be more mainstream than God and see what this person’s reaction is to you. Do they agree and cosign your foolishness? Are they huffy and self-righteous in correcting you? Or do they lovingly guide you back on track? You want the latter. Let me give you an example why it is so important to be grouped with the right people.

I was mentoring a young woman who had been struggling with letting go of a relationship that she had so desperately wanted to workout. And in her desperation she had really made some very poor decisions concerning this man, but when she did decide to be obedient to God she began to pull away from that lifestyle. There was also a very well known female minister throughout the city of Philadelphia, who happened to befriend this young woman. One day she was visiting her and she began to question this young woman about her child’s father, and when the young woman shared that it didn’t seem that he wanted to marry her, this well seasoned, well known woman of God, told her that she had to use her feminine wiles to help him see that she was it. WRONG!!! The blessing in all of this was that this young woman had really made the decision to obey God, had been in the Word concerning this matter and knew that what this minister was telling her was wrong!!

The dangerous part of all of this is that if this encounter had happened two months before it did, the young woman could have easily agreed with this woman and found herself in even more trouble. I’m not just sharing one side with you, because as a leader in our church I began to watch this minister, and it turned out she was giving wrong information to several woman and it was addressed. I am sharing this story (with permission) because I want you to understand that you must know the Word for yourself, and it is essential to group yourself with women who not only know the Word of God, but have made the decision to live by it through “Obedience”.

Sisters rise up and be in the group of virgins who are prepared for her Groom. Do not be one of the ones caught without oil. See Matthew 25:1-10 in your translation of choice.

Note: *Yeshua is the Hebrew name for our Messiah. Christians call Him, Jesus, but in Pat’s blogs the Messiah will be referred to in His Hebrew name of Yeshua.



Blessings.....Pat Betters

Hope to see you July 18th, when I return!


Monday’s Blogger: Sharon, "Women & Finances"