My youngest daughter was invited to apply for a summer scholarship that would have given her 6 weeks at a college in New York, or Texas. When she first received the request and application in the mail, I was very hesitant about her applying. My baby away with strangers for 6 weeks! I didn’t know about that? And she wasn’t sure either about being so far away from home, but there was a part of her that sort of wanted to go for it. A true blessing of being in the Kingdom of God is that, when you don’t know what to do, you always have God to turn to. And that is exactly what we did.
The Lord has been dealing with me the past year about letting go of the apron strings and allowing Tovah to make mistakes and suffer the consequences for them. How else is she going to learn? And the truth of the matter is, she is either going to learn certain lessons now, or she will learn them later. Now is better, so I am following the lead of the Holy Spirit. Well, as much as I’m able to at this point…LOL!! We prayed to the Lord, asking Him to take care of the situation for us and that if it was okay for her to go, He would open the door, and if this was not where she should be this coming summer, then He would shut the door and she would not be accepted…. …Period, the end!
She had a month to read a book, write 5 essays, and fill out an extensive application. She filed everything a couple of days before the deadline…phew. It was a lot of work on her part, (as much as I wanted to help, I stayed out of it) and I only contributed information she needed for the application. This past Saturday she received a letter stating that she had not been accepted. When she came to tell me, she was sad and had tears in her eyes. Now as a mother you might be thinking how this was a moment to hug her and let her cry, but it really wasn’t. It was one of those GREAT teaching moments that could change her life. I was quick to remind her of the deal we had with God. (I think she had forgotten our original agreement on how we were going to handle this.) I reminded her that He said, “No,” not the scholarship community. If He had wanted her to participate in this program, she would have been selected. I did acknowledge her disappointment, but I reinforced God’s love and protection for her and that trumps anything we might desire. I could see the light go on as her expression changed and the glassy look in her eyes turned to a smile. It hit her!! God wasn’t denying her anything, He was protecting her. We have no idea what goes on in this summer program. It has been around for sometime and is stated as being very prestigious (by the world’s standards) yet; I could not find one person or even a person of a person who had participated or knew anyone who had participated in this program. We really had no choice but to rely on God for direction and the answer.
I am very grateful to God for this experience for both of us. For one it really jump started Tovah into writing college essays, it helped me to stand back as a parent and trust that even if the answer had been “yes” God had it all taken care of. But the biggest part of all of this is that at an early age (right before she is old enough to make decisions with or without my say) she is seeing that agreeing with what God says, (even when you’re disappointed with the out come) is the way to go. Understanding that God is our protector and really does have a plan for our lives is a wonderful life lesson to gain as early as possible. Her life will be so much less complicated and disappointing because of her trust in God’s ability to handle things for her. Tovah didn’t mope her day away, in fact once we talked, she was back to her happy go lucky self the rest of the day. And I’m pretty sure I saw a new confidence in her because she understood a great truth about her Father.
My dear sisters, this is one of the main reasons so many of us as single women, are not happy in the position of “unmarried”. But truthfully many of us as women period (single or married) are not happy because we have not come to the understanding that God knows best. We are not so quick to agree with His decision on a matter if it is not what we want. And the problem of not agreeing with God is, we can find ourselves moving from a place of disappointment, to envy, to jealousy, to discontentment and finally disobedience. It is a slippery slope at best.
In the natural, if Tovah had been accepted for the program it would have been a great experience, especially since she plans to go to college in 2011. It would have looked great on her college applications and all that good stuff. But God said, “No.” And the beauty of that is Tovah didn’t have to revert to thinking anything negative about herself. It didn’t mean she wasn’t good enough, or that her essays weren’t up to par, or any of the many things our enemy could have filled her head with. No! Because she had trusted God to have the final say before she even applied, the outcome had nothing to do with her performance. We know she was good enough based on the fact you had to be invited to apply based on a particular test score, but when it comes to the recesses of our mind, if she had been relying on self, that would not have beem good enough. The same holds true for us as grown women. God could have blessed you with looks, great education, good job, wonderful family and friends, house, car, good health and so-on and so-on. But let that one something not turnout the way we wanted, hoped for or even manipulated for an outcome in our favor, and the enemy of our mind will begin to beat us down about it. But when our hopes and expectations are in the Lord, that doesn’t happen, because the outcome is His responsibility, not ours.
I think we often forget that we serve a God who knows our future, and the future of this world. For everyone who has recently lost a job, it was not a surprise to Him. He knew how the economy was going to tank and that is why He had been dealing with many of us concerning our finances for sometime before it happened. He knew exactly what was coming down the pike. Some of us took heed and some of us didn’t. I know a woman who wanted to get a new car. Her husband said, “No, not now.” Since she worked every day and had her own line of credit and didn’t need him, she purchased it anyway. Three months later, she lost her job, and struggled for months to pay her car note and other bills she had made. Did he help her? Nope. So years later when the bottom almost dropped out of our economy (a year ago yesterday) she had money in the bank and is debt free. It was a hard lesson she had to learn because she did not listen to her husband. But she was better prepared in 2009. None of us knows what our lives or even what this world is going to look like 6 months from now. But we do know someone who does. Ladies, the more you put your trust in God, the happier you will be.
If you would spend the next 2 weeks looking at the parts of your life that you are not happy about (and especially if it stems from being “unmarried”) and ask the Holy Spirit to help you see them through different eyes. Judge this thing or things against the Bible and see if the root of the discontent and unhappiness lies in not trusting the Lord. If this is the case, then take it back to Him and start over. That is one of the many things I love about our Father….there are do-overs.
My dear sisters, life in the Kingdom is wonderful and too many of us are letting it slip away because we want something that God has yet to sanction. But He has sanctioned life and with that alone we should be joyous and content in that great gift!
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
I will have more for you on Wednesday, March 31st. Until then, enjoy each day as if it were your last. Because the truth is....it could be!
Thursday's Blog: Cheryl our resident homeschool mom is up with... "Diary of a Homeschool Mom"
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