Complete in Him

Hello friends,

You have the distinct pleasure of reading three blogs from me this month. Don’t you feel special? And no I will not be talking about home schooling. You know there is more to my life than the kids, teaching the kids, feeding the kids and playing… Okay the kids are a very big part of my life but today I will be talking about my life prior to my kids. I was asked to speak to the unmarried women but I believe what I am going to share will speak to women unmarried and married alike.

As I sat at the laptop trying to figure out how much to share I realize that what I want most is to encourage all you that no matter what stage of life you are in you are complete in Him. That is what Colossians 2:10 says. You are complete in Jesus. Complete according to Webster’s dictionary means full, whole, entire, lacking no component part. Get it, God through Jesus has made us whole, complete, full, entire and lacking no component part. I am not trying to give you a sermon, instead I want to share that this is what God revealed to me in every stage of my life.

I had so many opportunities to gain understanding how God made me complete. Before dating and feeling like I needed a special someone to make me feel valuable. While I was dating and feeling like being married was the ultimate goal to making me feel worthy. Let me take a minute to elaborate on this time of my life.

Dating is great especially when you are in God. I had a great time hanging with Brian (of course it was Brian who did you think I was talking about huh?) We enjoyed each other’s company and respected each other’s independence. I was satisfied but between society, my own issues and even the church I still felt like marriage was what I needed to make me complete. Brian and I both went to graduate school, he went off to Illinois and I stayed in Philly. People asked me what I was going to do and if I was going with him. It was as if life as I knew it would be over because he was going away. Don’t get me wrong I cried like a baby at the train station and I missed him while he was gone but at 23 God had some work to do in me and I was not about to let anyone interfere.

I remember being about 24, 25 and almost at the end of grad school and being asked by a well meaning sister in the church what I wanted to do once finished school. I, with excitement shared with her what I was studying and what I planned to do when I was done. She responded by asking me when I was getting married. Are you SERIOUS? That’s what I wanted to say but instead I said I did not know. That stayed with me because it made me feel like no matter what my accomplishments were all that mattered was whether I was married. Here I am 24 the youngest of four raise by a single mother in what was considered one of the worst sections of Philadelphia, the first in my family to get a college degree and all she really cared about was when I was getting married. Are you kidding me? I am sure she did not know how this made me feel but that conversation stirred stuff in me that I had to fight to get rid of. It boosted that continuing feeling that I needed to be married to be of any worth.

I finished school, Brian came home and we continued to date. All around me however people were getting married. My college roommate, my sister and my best friend all got married within a one year time period. The kicker, I was in two of these weddings as maid of honor. Oh how I was frustrated. I did rejoice with them but I also whined to God about when my turn would come. Brian and I had already determined that it was God’s will for us to marry but when was another story. What made this worse was the difference in our personalities. Brian is the slow and steady type. He takes his time when making decisions and he is generally laid back. I on the other hand can be very quick to decide. I have been known to be aggressive and ambitious. So on one hand I was like come on let’s do this and he was like let’s take our time. Since those days however we have formed a great balance, PRAISE GOD!

Eventually after whining to God and bugging Brian and getting nowhere I believe divine intervention took over. I decided to have the best time being unmarried. I began to spend more quality time in God’s presence. I served at my church every chance I got. I hung out with my friends and simply had a ball. During this time God showed me that I was complete in Him. He made it clear to me that it was Him, not Brian that made me valuable and accepted. He also showed me that this mindset that the world gives of two half people coming together and becoming whole was not real. Marriage is for two whole people coming together to become one. So the writers of Jerry McGuire got it wrong, Brian does not complete me (and I do not complete him either).

Life was going along great. I was having a blast in the stage I was in but guess what happened? During the Christmas season of ’97 Brian asked me to marry him. I was very happy, but at the same time I felt like “DAG!” I was just getting the hang of this single life. This was my first lesson in being truly satisfied where you are before you can move to the next level. I had learned what I needed so now God could trust me to get married. We got married 10 months later but you need to know that this lesson came up again when I wanted to have my first child. Once again I whined to God about having a baby because somehow it was not enough to be married, life was not complete until I became a mommy. Well of course the Holy Spirit reminded me of the lesson previously learned and well the rest is history.

Why did I share all this with you because sometimes as women we need to be reminded of what God says about us. He says that we are “accepted in the beloved”(Ephesians 1:6) and we are “precious in His sight”(Isaiah 43:4 Instead of holding on to what God says we look for outside forces to make us feel whole. We gripe and complain about not having a boyfriend, a husband, a child, another child, longer hair, slimmer waistline and the list goes on. God says I am the only One who can give you value and make you whole. So my dear sisters in whatever stage of life you are in look to God and know that you are COMPLETE IN HIM!

Let’s pray. Father we come to You in the name of Jesus thanking You for how truly wonderful You are. We praise You and honor You. We declare that You are the only true and living God and we adore You. Father we thank You for this stage in our lives. Help us to experience Your love and live life to the fullest in Jesus’ name Amen.

Until we meet again be blessed!

Hugs and Kisses,
Cheryl
March 11th, Brian Mackey will write a special blog (the flip side of Cheryl's) for single women, from the man's perspective. It is going to be awesome ladies, and is part of "Living Single & Loving It" so please mark your calendars!!

Friday's Blog: Pamela Davis (our guest blogger) has written a blog that will inspire and encourage you as women no matter where you find yourself. Make sure you join us! You are going to be blessed for sure!