The One Thing You Need To Know: (To Ensure Reaching All Your New Year’s Resolutions and Goals)

Yup, it’s that time of year again, when we start making lists of what we want to achieve in the upcoming year. Some of us call them resolutions or goals.

Resolution: n…a firm decision to do or not to do
something.

Goal: n…the object of a person’s ambition or
effort; an aim or desired result.

However you slice it, it all boils down to change and a hope for the better.

Here are 10 of the most popular ones:

•            Lose Weight
• ·         Exercise More/Get Healthy
• ·         Stop Smoking
• ·         Stop Drinking
• ·         Spend Less/Save more
• ·         Get Out of Debit
• ·         Find a New Job
• ·         Go Back To School
• ·         Stop Cussing 

And year-after-year, we fail. Or just give up and revert back to our old ways. Why is that? It happens because we haven’t connected to the one thing in our lives that will ensure our “Success”.

The God Head!

That’s right. God the Father! God the Son! And God the Holy Spirit!

We approach the situation all wrong by trying to do it the World’s way. For one if there's change that needs to be made, why wait for a particular month and day? And especially since tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. But this is what the World does and we play along. I often question, "Why as Believers we don't get all excited and celebrate New Year's according to the Jewish calendar, "Rosh Hashana?"

But like Paul, I know the secret to success in this world. And it’s not complicated at all.

We need to do exactly what Jesus instructs in (Matthew 6:25-34), we must first seek God—His way of doing things—and trust Him. We have to go to Him first.

The Messiah also tells us, “Whatever we ask of the Father in His name we shall receive.” (John16:23) But it must be God’s will for us. Folks like to leave that part out when quoting this particular scripture. And being out of debt and healthy is defiantly God’s will for us. Jesus was beat mercilessly so we could receive our healing. And who wants to be the tail, versus the head when they don’t have to be?

But it doesn’t stop there. It’s also the Holy Spirit’s job to guide, teach and correct us. And when given the opportunity, He will stop us from jumping off the deep edge, like signing a gym contract we are never really going use, obligating ourselves to monthly debt.

And when we take to heart and make (Proverbs 3:5-7), a way of life, then we will know exactly what we need to do for successful change in our lives.

You want to lose weight but have been struggling for years to get it off or keep it off? Well, having a close and upfront relationship with God will help you get to the root of your eating problem. Because that’s what needs to be fixed first—the why?

You’re drinking too much is a way of self medicating. It’s your way of trying to cover up pain which needs to be healed.

Why are you in debt? How did you get there? What is your true relationship with money? Are you in debt because shopping or buying things somehow takes the place of God helping you cope with life’s disappointments? Or  does it temporarily fill a void, only He can fill?

What is the motivation for wanting to go back to school? Is it because you feel less than without a college degree? Or there is the promise of better pay with a Masters degree? How do you plan to pay for it? With loans and incurring debt you will spend the majority of your life trying to pay off? That’s not God’s will for us.

Looking for a new job with better pay is not a bad thing. Well, it is, if the job is going to close down or have a massive layoff 9 months after you start and you lose your job and benefits! And the company you left is thriving. We don’t know what tomorrow holds...but God does.

Our #1 priority in life, should be building a deep personal relationship with God. It’s the key to everything we need.

Time in the Word and prayer will reveal our problem areas. And that is a good thing, because God is not like people. We are more than happy to point out each other’s flaws, if only for no other reason than it makes us feel better about ourselves. But He shows us, so we can allow Him the privilege of turning whatever trash or ash it is—into a thing of beauty.

But we have a tendency to make our plans and then expect God to go alone. I am guilty of this myself. Several years ago, I got caught up in a promotion to join a gym because I really wanted to get out of the house, more so than get healthy. It was during the time I was homeschooling, working from home and deep in missions work. I longed to be doing something for me and be around more progressive people. So, I joined and signed a two year contract (by faith), that God would supply the money.

Well, I learned that the only thing in a gym I really like is the treadmill. And that is because I already liked walking—which I did a lot of.

I had a trainer for seven sessions, but was never comfortable. The gym was located in downtown Philadelphia, and only took 20 minutes to get there. I went three times a week. But about 3 months in, it became too much to pay the monthly fee and I barely got to go. Too busy! I called corporate and tried to get the payments cut in half and they wouldn’t do it. Eventually I just defaulted and it went against my credit. And that well known company went out of business—worldwide. Now how much do you want to bet, God knew all about their downfall, my waning lack of interest and inability to pay the contract off?

Yes, He knew all about it, before it ever happened.

If only I had taken my feelings of isolation to Him. And allowed Him to show me the way to deal with them and make change. But, lesson learned—the hard way!  And my goal is to help you girls see the folly in our lives with New Year’s Resolutions and Goals. To understand, why we keep making the same ones over-and-over, with the promise—this year I’m going to do it! But don’t.

Use the time you would be spending at the gym, or doing homework assignments or whatever it is you do that idly takes up your time, and spend it—digging in the Word.

The bible holds the keys to everything we have need of; through God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Find out exactly what privileges where given to you at the Cross, besides salvation. Get to know the God you serve, with a desire to truly see and understand the love story He has for you. And if you are in a church that denies the power of the Holy Spirit, then once you get into the Word for yourself, my prayer is, you will leave that congregation and be led to one which knows and teaches His power.

Yes, we fail time and time again….because of our lack of understanding and acknowledgement of the Holy Spirit.

On December 31, 1989, I fell to my knees and cried out, “Lord, I didn’t want to smoke anymore!” asking the Holy Spirit to help me! (I was a babe in Christ, but in a Word church.) And guess what? He did.And after 19 years of smoking...I was FREE!  (At the time I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.) I can’t tell you how many times I tried to quit on my own. So, I do know what it is to be addicted to cigarettes, but I also know the yoke breaking power of the Holy Spirit!

We can go to God about anything. But many of us don’t have the confidence He hears or is interested. But that is a lie from the pit and also the result of time not spent getting to know Him on our own.

There is only one thing we need for total success (and not the world’s definition of success either), and that is Jesus as Lord! And with Him as Lord—we get into the Bible and do everything it instructs us to do! Beginning with loving God with every ounce of our being and then down the line. With this you will be able to get out of debt and stay out. You will be able to lose that weight and keep it off. You will be in God's will, by waiting on Him to make a move for a new job or higher education. You will have success!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs,

Ponnie

Stop Running Away!

A couple of weeks ago I encountered an incident on Facebook where a Christian Facebook friend, didn’t like something I said and left the comment, “What you said, Ponnie was very mean!”

What offended her was, “Because you are Caucasian, it is impossible for you to understand where I’m coming from and what it is to be a Black person in America.” 

The whole thing was in response to a post I made about being silent at times speaks volumes…referring to our President elect being backed by an openly white supremacy group founder and leader.  

But here is the real kicker….she left the message, deleted me as a friend and blocked me so I couldn’t even find her name on Facebook. Wow!

Here’s the scenario that should have played out.

First, I would have apologized immediately for hurting her in anyway, and then I would have private messaged her to find out why she felt what I said, was mean. As two sisters-in-Christ, we should have been able to quickly fix the problem—but she ran away.

This seems to be a common thread I’m seeing in those of us who profess, Christ as Lord. And it just shouldn’t be.

The Bible instructs us explicitly on how to handle adversity and misunderstandings. We serve the God of reconciliation—not separation.

Since I wasn’t given the opportunity to talk it through, I did the next best thing—I prayed.

Working with women in crisis for many years, I’ve learned that hurting people are often far from rational thinkers. And yes, even Believers. And I’m assuming I hit some type of nerve or wound that has yet healed. So, I’m keeping her in prayer and the door open if she ever contacts me.

This is not my first encounter with this type of emotional behavior, but it did prompt me to really look at why, we as daughters of the King behave so poorly to one another and think it is okay?

I am a kind person, so it is never my intent to purposely offend anyone—especially when I have time to think about it. Am I bragging on myself? No. But we must know our strengths as well as our weaknesses. And truthfully over the years, I have met many missionaries and they have all been kind and generous people. It’s a characteristic God gives us to do the job.

There was a time I would take it on and beat myself up when something like this happened. But as I've grown in the Word (and as long as I didn’t intentionally mean any harm), I've learned to let it go. But if given the opportunity to make things right or apologize…I am right there. Why? Because, blessed is the peacemaker and we are to live in peace as long as it is within our power. That’s how the Bible runs it down.

Think about it, if a Native American felt I wasn’t getting what they were saying about their experience here in the United States and said to me, “Ponnie I don’t expect you to get it because you have never lived on a reservation.” You know what—they would be telling the truth! I really don't have a clue.

I’ve found that we are afraid of truth. For many different reason we think truth is out to get us, when in fact—it’s out to help and set us free.

Lysa TerKeurst talks about this in her new book, “Uninvited…Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely,” great book! Especially if you are afraid of truth.

Here’s another example…one day while talking to a sister who has been known to have what I like to call, “a know-it-all-spirit,” I just couldn’t take it anymore! (Well, I could have if I had allowed God’s grace to prevail.) I jumped in with both feet and ran it down how far off she was from the bible in what she was saying. She didn’t like it, but it was the truth. Was it the truth in love? I would have to say, “No.” She was infamous for giving advice under the guise of being spiritual. But the truth is…anything that doesn’t line up with the Word of God is wrong information or a lie—period.

A week or so later, I received a teaching CD in the mail with a note to listen to it and there was no need to respond or bother to contact her. Oh-kay! I saw the setup and threw it in the trash. And that was the end of that. What she did is a big fat, No-No! But it just supported my case even more.

Sisters, communication is a two-way street. Again, trying to have the last word and then running away. Is not Jesus' way.

Time passed and we were okay. Never to speak on it again.

The lesson I’ve learned over the years, is to not let drama play out on Facebook or anywhere else.

This past summer a family member was to stop by one day to visit. It really wasn’t a big deal when they didn’t show up because nothing special had been planned. The next day I sent a text, “Oh it was so nice spending time with you yesterday. We must do it again!” (Or something to that effect.) Nonetheless, it was all tongue in cheek.

I was expecting some type of snarky retort such as, "Girl! I haven't had so much fun in a long time! LOL!" But instead my phone immediately rang, and she accused me of being passive/aggressive in my text.

What!

Since I am a much wiser woman these days, I quickly got off the phone and told her I needed to call her back. I prayed, laughed about it and gave it half an hour. Why? Because most of the time when stuff like this happens—it has nothing to do with us. It is all about what is going on with the other person. And in love we should see this.

When I called back, she was fine. She apologized for not calling to say she couldn’t make it, and shared the crazy kind of day she ran into.

Being residents of the Kingdom, there is a royal protocol for us to follow when it comes to dealing with strife, confrontation, adversity and being offended.

How can we ever expect to encourage the unsaved and godless that severing Jesus is something special when we act no differently than they do. Or in some cases—worse!

We can’t.

And this is another reason many people leave church congregations—they don’t see or feel the love that should be flowing from us.

Sisters, we cannot just shut people down and run away! Yes, there are times in our lives we must let people go because they are not good for us. But, having the last say and not giving the other person an opportunity to speak is not how Jesus would handle it.

I think Paul really sums it up in a nutshell for us in Ephesians 4:1-3, 31-32, (Amp)… 1So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [this is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation], 2with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. 3Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working together to make the whole successful].

31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, faultfinding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse.] 32Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.

Maybe some of you have a situation in your life right now where you need to make amends, or at least open the doors of communication. Don’t mess around with it any longer. Forgive. Ask to be forgiven. And move on.

May I suggest you read the entire chapter. Click here (Ephesians 4, Amplified Bible)

Remember...love never fails!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

A Foolproof Way…Not to be Pulled into Other People’s Messes!

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of confusion and wondered, “How in the heck did I get here?” I think we all have at one time or another. It’s part of life. But as always, the Bible shows us how to avoid such situations.

Gossip, rivalry and being braggadocious, are behaviors that are most certainly high up on the list of things we shouldn’t be doing as Christians…for sure.

I’ve chosen the above three, because we can easily be swept up in them before we know it.

My youngest (now 23 years old), attended a Montessori school for first grade. And one day while standing in the yard waiting for dismissal, I found myself having a conversation with the mother of one of her classmates. She started bragging on how well her daughter could read. Well, when my daughter was tested to get into the school (at the time in kindergarten) she was reading and comprehending on a 3^rd grade level. So, do you think I let her get away with bragging on her daughter like mine was nothing? Nope! And her response to me was, “Well, she reads the newspaper!” It was at that very moment when the Holy Spirit asked me, “What are you doing?”

At the time, I was studying, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (NIV), which translates into the fact that we can do nothing about from Christ, be nothing apart from Christ, have nothing apart from Christ, and achieve nothing apart from Christ! Therefore, He really wanted to know what I called myself doing. And especially with a woman who didn’t know the Lord?

From that day forward, I have tried my best to never get caught up in bragging about anything, especially my kids or grandchildren.

But this is not the case for many of us. Mostly because we believe what the World has to say about self-worth and value…we brag about our accomplishment and those of our family. And a prideful heart gives us a false sense of wellbeing.

Last Christmas Eve, I ran into a minister I knew (from a church in the city I had belonged to), at the supermarket, . He has always been a kind, gentle and humble man. And that is why I was dumbfounded, when he held me captive for about 10 minutes bragging on his daughter and her accomplishments in college. And not one time, did God get the glory.

Yes, bragging on anything that God is not the center of—is very dangerous territory for us.

“So if you want to brag, do what the Scriptures say and brag about what the Lord has done.” I Corinthians 1:31, ICB (see Jeremiah 9:24)

And the way to not be dragged into a bragging match is to study the above scriptures, until you believe them and agree with every word and understand how this applies to your life. At that point you will know deep in your heart bragging on any accomplishments as your own, is fruitless and more than likely has a root of pride.

Just as bragging is a sneaky little devil and will trip you up before you know it—rivalry is its mirror twin.

You belong to a book club and everyone has to bring a dessert. You bring your momma’s award winning pound cake. And bam! One of the other women comes up to you and says, “Well, I guess we will have to see whose is the best,” as she points to hers.

Now all of a sudden you are beginning to have some kind of feelings about her statement. You might even say to yourself, “Well, of course mine is going to be better!” And you know what, it just might! But there is still a heart issue in both of you. 

What is the correct response to someone like this? I personally like to ask them, “Why?” “Why do we have to see if one is better than the other?” “I made this cake out of love and I pray it will be enjoyed.” The "why" usually gives reason for pause?

I chose pound cake because I have a recipe for a sour cream rum pound cake that’s a big winner and ususally one of the first things to go. But I feel the minute I decide to brag on how good they are, would be the time it came out dry and some main ingrediant missing. And there is nothing worse than dry pound cake. ~Smile~

When I cook and bake for others, it is out of love and a desire to give something to someone else. And on the days I don’t feel like doing it—I don’t! I can no longer be manipulated or challanged into doing things I don’t want to. The Holy Spirit is the only to change my mind, and when that happens, I know it’s going to work out fine.

And yes, it has taken a lot of work and time for me to arrive at this point. You see, the old slef, was the one that once you brought the competition to my door—I wanted to not just beat you, but slay you! But praise God I am FREE from that foolishness and mess!

Knowing who we are in Christ and assured that every good and perfect gift comes from God (including being a fantastic baker), there is never a need to be sucked into a rivalry, competition or comparisons—especially with another sister-in-Christ. 

Pride…is an ugly and dangerous devil if ever there was one. The Bible tells us God hates pride and it’s an abomination unto Him. It blinds and deceives us. It causes us to hurt, mistreat and offend others. It’s mean spirited to the core.

Here’s a quote from Mother Teresa, which really sums it up…“If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.”

In other words...it doesn't make one bit of difference...either way!

Now a gossiping tongue can ruin a life and reputation. Gossip can cause so much hurt and pain, and irreparable damage. How do we not get sucked into gossip? Address it immediately!

I called a good friend and spiritual sister of mine to vent one day. She’s a good one to vent to because she helps me look at whatever is going on throw the lens of the Bible. (We all could use women like that in our lives.) And midstream, she just said, “I have to go!” We never end a phone conversation like that. Even, when she really might have to go, it is in a different tone and some explanation. But praise God, I didn’t just let her go, and asked “What’s wrong?” She shared I was dogging the person I was talking about. I had left the page of venting about what they had done that day, onto every wrong I could think of over the past 5 years.

Sometimes in order to protect yourself, you might have to just cut off the conversation, but I personally think you should speak up to the person. (If they bring it to your door then you have the right to speak on it.) Often we think we are okay in what we are doing, when in fact we are not. But, if no one is bold enough to tell us, how will we know?

One thing I learned in counseling is changing the focus to the one talking. If a woman is talking about how someone hurt her, instead of listing to the list of offenses (and especially since the other party is not there), it’s best to turn the focus on why she is hurt. And maybe look at the part she played in it. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. It all depends on the person involved. Some of us, no matter what, can make sure the focus goes back to the one who has wronged us.

If someone calls me under the guise of praying for someone but really wants to gossip, I call them on it! Either they accept responsibility and see what they are doing or they move on.

Recognize gossip immediately for what it is and act accordingly. Maybe you might have to just get off the phone or excuse yourself if in person . Maybe you will have the opportunity to address it, or can help the individual see it from a different perspective of compassion and love. But no matter what method you use—be quick about it.

You see sisters, the more we are in tune with Christ and know exactly who we are in Him; the less we are pulled into other people’s messes. There is no need.***

Is this easy to achieve? Not necessiarly because it has to become a lifestyle. It’s not something you study, get and move on. It’s a continuous growth process in our lives and a big part of spiritual maturity.

Making Jesus Lord, studying the Bible and being obedient to what it says…is the foolproof way to make sure you no longer are the mess, or get pulled into someone eles's mess. 

Either way, the payoff is freedom and a chunk of the good life. Amen!

***And this includes all the mess on Facebook and twitter concerning the new President elect. 

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

5 Simple Steps to a Successful Christian Life

Successful…wealthy, affluent, prestige and position.

This might translate into…owning your own business or making at least a six figure or higher salary. Which in turn provides you with the opportunity to have a big house, new car, latest clothes, private school for the kids, money in the bank, good retirement fund, vacation of choice every year, and great health and dental insurance. 

Everyone in the house has at least two electronic devices and when it’s cold outside your home is always warm and when it’s hot outside, your home is always cool. You are able to employ people to clean your house, take care of the pool and landscaping. In today’s society, you can easily have a personal shopper, chef and driver with the tap of a phone App, if you have the money. 

What you just read is the World’s standard of successful. And it all has to do with money.

In fact you can scratch everything you just read as far as it pertaining to what a successful Christian’s life is. I’m not saying there aren’t wealthy, affluent and rich Christians—because there are plenty! But it still doesn’t mean they are living a successful Kingdom life.

Also I hope you will not be too disappointed in my misleading title…there are no 5 Steps! But this is really good news.

It’s a writing ploy to draw you in. In fact, I really don’t like books which have steps to God or prayer, or too much more. If you search the Bible, you will see—there’s no such thing as steps to God. So, please forgive me for toying with you this morning. I just couldn’t resist. ~Smile~

A successful Christian life, takes work and making Jesus, Lord of your life.

Yup. That’s it!

No aptitude test. No internship. No college tuition or finical debt required. No hoops to jump through. No unreasonable demands you must adhere too and nothing that will test your integrity or put you in harm’s way.

Wow! We only have to make one more decision beyond salvation…Lordship.

Let’s say there’s a particular college you have your eye on and it promises you will have great success in whatever field you choose, if you earn a degree with them. You believe them, so you beg, borrow and beg some more to get this degree. Some would forsake family and friends and work a second job to make it happen. And if it takes you five years versus the average four…that’s okay too. You have a promise—your hard work and money are going to pay off—big time!

Now on the other hand, Jesus says, “If you love me you will obey my commands.” “Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.” “They will know you belong to me by the way you love one another.” “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” And the big payoff for making Him Lord, and obeying His commands…we have the promise of knowing His voice and being counted as sheep on Judgment Day!

We are also assured peace on this earth that surpasses all understanding. But He instructs we must first forgive those who abuse and mistreat us. In fact, He takes it one step further and says we have to pray for them. And in doing this we have the promise that God will forgive us, just as we forgive others.

Our Lord is also big on us helping others. In fact, He will reward us generously because when we feed the hungry, visit the sick, clothe the naked and visit those in prison…we have done it for Him. (Well, as long as He is Lord in our lives we do it for Him.) Wow! Are you getting excited about this?

God also promises to supply all that we have need of through the Messiah—our Lord! And Peter gives us the secret to contentment—we can do all things through Christ who is our strength!

James lets us know that if we lack wisdom—all we have to do is ask God. And He is going to not only give us the wisdom we need, but He’s going to lavish us with it!

And all we have to do to acquire all of this and more is to read and study the Bible...at our leisure. Yet so many of us don’t.

We will turn our lives upside down for four years or more to get a title and piece of paper man says has value. But, we don’t see the value in spending just 30 minutes a day perusing what it is our Lord, says we must do to be successful as a Believer.  

This is why so many in the Body are sad and downtrodden about life.

Yes! Life is hard! But, we are still to be victorious and triumphant! We are to be light to this sad, sinful dark world. But it is impossible to entice others to our Savior, when they don’t see Him in a good light, in us.

You see sisters, a successful Christian life is one where life is hard, but you don’t lose faith in God! It’s when people know you are going through a difficult time, but see you continue to have a joy and peace about you. Or when they hear of some tragedy or experience you encountered, but never knew what you were going through, because you were always joyous!

God’s joy and peace does not mean we will always walk around laughing, grinning and smiling all the time. But it does mean we won’t be a poor example of God’s empowering grace, love and faithfulness. It’s the peace the bible says, we will have…in the natural it will surpass all human understanding. That’s the power of God.

Anything you are experiencing in your life today…there is a solution in the Bible. But we must first makeup our mind, to believe that it is. And I tell you it is, because I’m a living witness!

It has taken years for me to get to the place of confidence I have in the Lord and His faithfulness today. But the day, I made Jesus; LORD…was the day things really changed for me. It didn’t take away the troubles I had or the consequences I had to suffer for my sin and dissidence. No. But it opened the doors for me to stop making poor decisions, forgiveness, healing (physically, emotionally and spiritually), confidence and hope. But most of all, I finally know who I am, based on who God says I am. I know that there is purpose to my life. And when things come up (which trust they are), I no longer panic and worry about what I’m going to do? Or question if God is there or still loves me.

I know He does.  

Also sisters, the more time we spend with God and focus on living a life to please Him, the more we are prepared when life unscripted shows up. The more you are at peace knowing God is working it together for His good—somehow.

I purposely didn’t give the scripture references to the things I shared from the Bible. If you know them fine. But if you don’t, I gave key words for you to look them up and read it for yourselves.

A successful Christian life is accessible to every Believer! But it’s up to you to obtain it.

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Knowing Yourself

It has taken me years (and I mean years), to learn and know the important and intimate things about myself. 

Like most, I was a product of the world’s thinking to gage what we do as our value or self-worth.

I remember a conversation a few years back with a sister-in-Christ, and she described herself as a “Domestic Engineer,” and I knew what she thought she was saying, but I was perplexed as to why she was saying it?

Domestic Engineer is the one who executes household chores; they are a member of the family that does this as a part of their responsibility. A Domestic Engineer can carry out anything from cleaning to do every day jobs for the family….hum! Where’s the word, mom or wife? See, the world’s way of thinking is so askew, we really must be careful in picking up its jargon and points of view.

She was a stay-at-home mom and homemaker. One of God’s most important positions for women, if not the most important. I called her on it, but in a kind way. Only to let her know that what she was doing was important to God, her husband and her family…no matter what anyone may think. And to please drop the empty title of domestic engineer. But we can see how it's such an easy trap to be snared in.

For years, what I did defined who I was. I spent most of my childhood and teen years listening to how I wasn’t anything and never would be. And my mother wishing I had never been born. And no matter how much I tried to win her acceptance or love—I failed—time-after-time. But then in 1991, I went to my first Women’s Bible Study, and learned that working full time, bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan (anyone remember that commercial), was never part of God’s plan for us as women—never!

I was a broken woman who was lonely and desperate. I was puffed up with pride in what I did because I thought it gave value to my life and who I was. I was jealous of those who seemed to be moving past me and envious of the things others had. There was a time I wanted to be married and felt that having a child at the age of 40 had blown that hope to smithereens. I gossiped about others because if made me feel better about my life. And yes, there were those who I looked down on. I was petty, vindictive, selfish and unforgiving. I often gave with the motivation and intent of manipulation to get my way. I pretended often to be something or someone I was not.

I am now a woman who is healed of past hurts and pains. I love to laugh, dance and have fun. I hate shopping or sitting down for hours to watch sports. I love the freedom of cooking only for myself! I’m picky about what movies and TV shows I will watch. And I drink red wine and go out for margaritas at least once a year. I don’t worry about people liking me and I no longer gossip. I don’t have time for drama and foolishness. When I say, ‘No,’ I mean no!” And I don’t explain a lot—only when necessary. I am genuinely happy when I see others do well or excel. And I’m quick to help one in need, looking for nothing in return. I know what I like and what I don’t like and I’m learning to be true to myself!

There was a time I pretended to like golf just to be with a guy. But truth be told, I’d rather pick lint off a sweater with a straight pen, and one eye closed versus watch golf on TV. I must admit though, driving the cart around the golf course and eating and drinking at the club house was better than TV. But it was all still just a farce!

I’m free in the fact I finally know who I am and I’m okay with it! In fact—I love me some me! Am I trying to imply that I’ve arrived? Of course not! As long as I have breath in this body, I will be a work in progress—but knowing who I am and seeing the mighty work God has done and knowing He is not finished, is exciting!

When my now 23 year old went off to college, I started talking about a dream of traveling around the United State of America—my homeland. That’s when a few friends and family started asking about the possibility of marriage one day and how I was still young enough. Well, you should see the look on their faces when I start talking about what a future husband would have to look like...

…for one, he would have be a great cook, or love to eat out. I’m an excellent cook, but I now have the freedom to cook when and if I feel like it without a thought to anyone else. He would also have to be financially set. Why? I’m too old to build something with someone else—and I just don’t want too! And he better love garlic—I eat food with garlic in it just about every day. He wouldn’t be able to take it if he didn’t. He couldn’t be needy or clingy. Those are personality types I dislike in men and women. He would need to have hobbies and things he loved to do outside the house.

You see girls—I like who I’ve become. I could never sit and pretend I was interested in football or golf. And I don’t ever want to hear the words, “What’s for dinner?” again, if they are not coming out of my mouth. I think I’m past the days of washing underwear that doesn’t belong to me. And after having a grandson to clean up behind—I prefer an all girls bathroom anyhow.

Maybe you might think I’m being a little too picky or set in my ways. And if I am, that’s okay because I’ve earned the right. I’ve paid my dues and it’s my time. I was a single mom nonstop for almost 42 years and will turn 64 in a little over 3 months. I think I’ve taken care of other people enough to last a lifetime. And I still see myself traveling around the USA!  

I’m hoping I got a few chuckles as you read about my ideal husband, but on a more serious note—do you really know who you are? And if so, are you happy with her?

The Ponnie who walked into the Women’s Bible Study taught by Pat Betters, 25 years ago, ceases to be! And I praise God for that. Because I see too many women in the Body who carry burdens of brokenness, pain and unforgiveness and it doesn’t have to be that way.

Maybe as you were reading the characteristics of the old Ponnie, something felt a little familiar? Maybe you experienced a little tug at your heart. Or possibly you saw something in the new and improved Ponnie you are struggling to be? As I say all the time, “There’s nothing we struggle with that others aren’t struggling with too.”

Guess where I found the real me?

In the pages of the B I B L E!

Yup!

It's where the yokes were broken, and I learned how to be more like Christ. It's where I learned to be free to be me!

Too many sisters in the Body of Christ are sad, and this should not be. Anything in your life you don't like can be changed. It will either be changed through different circumtances or a different attitude and perspective. But either way...God is able.

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie