Want A Different Point Of View?

I often say that the world’s point of view compared to God’s point of view is always backwards and topsy-turvy. And the more I think about the truth of this in all aspect of Christian life it never ceases to amaze me how much of the world’s lies and foolishness have crept into the every day lifestyle of Christians. Now I know some of you are going to be upset with me, but I must add, “Especially in the life of single Christian women!” Okay, I’ve put it out there and I’m ready for any backlash that might come my way, but I would be remiss as a woman of God if I did not tell you the truth. We have already lived under the cloak of deception and untruth much longer than we should. It is time to use the key given us to unlock the chains that have held us captive for way too long. So today my dear sisters, I want you to take a step back and look at something from a totally different point of view then the world and many in the Church posses.

With marriage being so very prevalent on the minds of women (for so many different reasons) and the lack of marriage proposals, I think there is a solution that can save many women from undue emotional heartache. Now how does that sound? I hope you all agree that, that sounds GREAT!!!

First let me say that I am coming from the American culture point of view, so what I’m about to propose might seem strange to some because it will be more to what their culture is about, but since America has all but lost It’s mind as far as the things of God, my mentor, (she and I have discussed this in length) and I might be pioneers in opting for this change in thinking.

Are you ready for this? Well, here we go, ready or not. We think that women and men 25 years of age or older, should only date with the intent of marriage. That’s right, no more, no less. What??!!! Yes, I will repeat it for you so that you will know for sure you read it correctly the first time, “We think that women and men 25 years of age or older, should only date with the intent of marriage.” Oh and there is a second part to this. And…we feel you (as a couple) should start counseling right away to see if you are even suited for one another. WHAT??!!! Do I need to rewrite that sentence too? No, I don’t think so. I think you are beginning to understand what I’m saying. And with that understanding, let’s take a look at some of the whys?

For one, as women we have been taught to romanticize about prince charming, the knight in shining armor and our dream wedding has been planned since 4th grade. Now some of you might be laughing at this thought but there is probably more truth in what I just said, than most of us want to own up to. How many young women have high hopes of finding a husband in college? Probably way too many! That is why we looked at an age where there is a little more maturity and understanding of who you might be or who you are to become. At 18 years of age starting off at college, you are just getting your first taste of real decision making and freedom. Also a bunch of distractions are lurking in wait for you as is. If you are going to college then your top priority should be to focus on your schoolwork. Especially your freshman year! Courtship is a huge distraction that could cost you dearly. At age 25 you should have graduated undergrad school, or have worked in the world’s system or missions. You should have some inkling as to the call and destiny on your life.

I have a friend who when her husband proposed to her, (after he had graduated from college) he knew that God had called him into the mission field, so when he asked for her hand, he also told her that being his wife would mean going to the Arab nations. I can tell you that she did not jump up and down and hug and kiss all over him because she had be waiting and wondering why he had been dragging his feet in asking her. No!! She told him, she had to think about it and then pray. Why in that order? One, she was not desperate to be married, and two she was not sure she wanted to travel around the world as a missionary’s wife. Well, needless to say, God told her this was His will and they married have been for almost 20 years and spent many years in the Arab nations. They were both over 25 and had a better understanding of God in their lives than they did at 18. In fact she shared that at 18 she just wanted to be free to experience life and have fun. One of the furthest things from her mind was being a wife.

Let’s get back to why counseling before dating is a great course of action. The reason is things will come up that we often fantasize about but need a reality check on, way before we are emotionally involved and fall into the trap of denial. Because he smells good, looks good, dresses well, talks good, is a gentleman, has a nice car, works hard and loves the Lord does not mean that he is the one. If he is a man whose mother did everything for him and his father, and you were raised by a single independent mother, this could be a great area of dissention once married. If you love everything in its place and he is used to throwing his stuff anywhere and his mother picking it up, in the long term this could lead to huge fights. He is cheap and stingy with money. I’m not talking about being a good steward over what God has given, I’m talking cheap, doesn’t like to spend money and you like to do things that cost money. This will be a problem because you will spend your life begging for things or fighting over them. He grew up in a household where his mother was a great cook and cooked every day. You can’t boil water without almost burning the pan; tell me how is that going to work? Once the honeymoon is over he is going to desire good home cooked meals. Now these things might seem superficial, but anyone who has counseled couples will tell you that these are the type of things that cause problems in a marriage.

Now let’s take a look at if he doesn’t smell so good, and he is not one to keep his nails clean or frequent the barber as he should. Overall he is un-kept most of the time. Women like to look at men and think that we can change him, but I want to forewarn you my dear sisters, if you have a grown man that has peculiar hygiene habits, I say, “Look out” if you think you are going to retrain him. And the truth is, “You shouldn’t want too!” Wife is not the same position as mother. Let’s also look at the fact that there are women who do not keep a clean home. Dirty clothes all over the floor, sink full of dishes, stove with grease caked all over it, you only make up the bed when you decide to change your linen. And live daily under the misconception that you don’t have to clean the tub out because you only took a shower. That is not the makings for a good wife.

What counseling also does is give you both the opportunity to see if there are issues that are irreconcilable. How do you both feel about children and what is your conception of family? How does he interact with his family? How does he handle money? What dose he think about the role and position of women? But the big question is…..What vision has God planted in his heart? How would you as his wife fit into this vision? This is serious stuff, and it would be prudent to find out the answer to these questions before you invest time and your emotional wellbeing, only to find out later that this is not it!

The world’s mindset is to date and see what happens. If it doesn’t workout then you just move on to the next, and the next, and the next. Each time giving a little of yourself that you will never get back. If we believe that God is in control then why do we have to spend a lifetime of going through one guy after another? We don’t! And that’s the problem; God’s daughters don’t seem to realize this truth and have taken on the ways of the same world He has told us come out from among and to separate ourselves from. 2 Corinthians 6:17.

So for all my sisters out there who are chomping at the bit to get married, I hope I have given you some food for thought, before you jump off the cliff of fantasy and the world’s version of romance.




Blessings & Hugs
Ponnie

I'll be back with more on Wednesday, April 28th!


Thursday’s Blog: more humor from Cheryl, “Diary of Homeschool Mom”

The Spring Season is Here!!!

Hello Ladies,

I love to be outside of the four walls of my house and enjoy the outdoors, breathing in the fresh air!

I know some of you are taking the time to start your spring cleaning….I haven’t started yet. I have been seeing the nice weather lately and rather be outside than inside. My favorite thing to do during this season is to go to the local park and read my book. While I’m sitting there reading, I can hear the sweet sound of the birds chirping, I can see the ducks and swans waiting for people to bring them bread to eat, I can see the trees getting their leaves, and the flowers blooming.

I want to share this quote of the day that I read in the book called “Inspiring Words from the Psalms”, “Spending time in nature is a wonderful way to get refreshed and to learn more about God through his beautiful creation”.

I remember a time we spent in nature we enjoyed, and that was when we went canoeing. It was our first time canoeing as a family. We had invited our niece to join us on this first experience. However, it was not the first time for Flor (my husband), he was a boy scout when he was young and was taught how to canoe. Well, if you have never been canoeing, I suggest you have at least one experience canoe driver….I will tell you why. I was driving one canoe with my niece and my younger son Angel, while Flor was driving the other canoe with my older son Isaiah.

Well, Flor was trying to give me pointers….He drove the canoe to one side of the lake and I was on the other side. It was a sight to see. Flor was gliding on the water so smooth, he made canoeing look easy. It was not easy for me, but I enjoyed it anyway. We stopped at one of the islands to eat lunch and we sat near the edge of the water and the lake was so still that we could hear the water ripple on the rocks. The scenery at the lake was so beautiful. We were the only ones canoeing other than a lady who was kayaking.

Spending time out on the lake was so refreshing. Like I said before, it was so quiet you can hear the water ripple on the rocks. I know, I know….I have to go now and start my spring cleaning.

Ladies, enjoy the spring season to the fullest!

P.S. Please post a comment, I would love to hear from you regarding your own refreshing experiences with God’s beautiful creation.



God bless you always,
Maria Guzman

Hope to see you on Tuesday, April 27th!


Wednesday's Blog: Ponnie, "Living Single & Loving It"




¡La Temporada de la Primavera está aquí!



Hola Mujeres,

¡Me encanta estar afuera de las cuatro paredes de mi casa y disfrutar del aire libre, respirando el aire fresco!
Sé que algunos de ustedes están tomando el tiempo para iniciar su limpieza de primavera .... No he empezado todavía. He estado viendo el buen tiempo últimamente y prefería estar afuera que a dentro. Lo que más me gusta hacer durante esta temporada es ir a un parque local y leer mi libro. Mientras estoy sentada leyendo, puedo oír el dulce sonido del canto de los pájaros, puedo ver a los patos y cisnes esperando a la gente llevándole pan para comer, puedo ver los árboles obteniendo sus hojas, y floreciendo las flores.

Quiero compartir esta cita del día que leí en el libro llamado "Las palabras inspiradoras de los Salmos”, "Pasar tiempo en la naturaleza es una maravillosa manera de refrescarse y aprender más acerca de Dios a través de su hermosa creación".

Recuerdo un tiempo que pasamos en la naturaleza que disfrutamos, y fue de ese entonces cuando nos fuimos en canoa. Era nuestra primera vez en canoa como familia. Habíamos invitado a nuestra sobrina a unirse a nosotros en esta primera experiencia. Sin embargo, no era la primera vez para Flor (mi esposo), él era un niño escuchas cuando era joven y aprendió a ir en canoa. Bueno, si usted nunca ha sido el piragüismo, le sugiero que al menos tener una persona que tiene experiencia de cómo guiar la canoa.... Te diré por qué. Yo estaba conduciendo una canoa con mi sobrina y mi hijo menor Ángel, mientras que Flor estaba conduciendo la otra canoa con mi hijo mayor Isaías.

Bueno, Flor estaba tratando de darme consejos .... Él condujo la canoa a un lado del lago y yo estaba en el otro lado. Era un espectáculo ver esto. Flor se deslizaba sobre el agua tan suave, que hizo parecer fácil canoa. No fue fácil para mí, pero he disfrutado de todos modos. Nos detuvimos en una de las islas para el almuerzo y nos sentamos cerca del borde del agua y el lago estaba tan quieto que podíamos oír el murmullo del agua sobre las rocas. El paisaje en el lago era tan hermoso. Fuimos los únicos en canoa y una señora que estaba en kayak.

Pasamos el tiempo en el lago y era tan refrescante. Como dije antes, estaba tan silencioso que puede oír el murmullo del agua sobre las rocas. Lo sé, lo sé .... Me tengo que ir y empezar mi limpieza de primavera.

¡Mujeres, disfruta de la temporada de la primavera al máximo!



Dios te bendiga siempre,
María Guzmán

P.D. Por favor enviar un comentario, me encantaría saber de ustedes con respecto a su propia experiencia refrescante con la hermosa creación de Dios.

WHAT KIND OF SEEDS ARE YOU PLANTING?

I just realized this morning that on April 12th, I will celebrate my 20 year anniversary of being initiated into my college sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Inc! I can remember the day that I “went over” like it was just yesterday. There were 7 of us and our line name was “The Blossoms of a New Beginning”. Happy Anniversary Sorors!!

The Blossoms of a New Beginning....that phrase got me to thinking about the onset of Spring which is right around the corner. I don’t think there is anyone anywhere in the USA that would deny that this has not been a long, harsh winter! I think we are all looking forward to the spring and all that it represents - warmth, rebirth, growth. Did I mention warmth? (Oh happy day!) I am already seeing the first signs of spring here in Georgia. The tulip tree that is planted near my front door is already starting to bloom and I am sure the azaleas will start to bud any day now. I love Spring!

There is one other thing that is blossoming this spring.....ME! Towards the beginning of the year, I set my 2010 New Year’s Goals and at that time, I began to plant the seeds of becoming Fit by Forty. From these seeds, I expect to see a growth in all areas of my life. I not only want to be physically fit but also, financially, spiritually, emotionally and socially. Every day, I make sure to “nurture” these areas of my life by eating more healthy, exercising, spending more time with the Lord through prayer and bible study. I’ve also been educating myself, making wiser choices with my finances and saving more (thanks to fellow Kitchen Table sister, Sharon!) Yes, I’ve been working hard and although the changes have been subtle, I am finally seeing the fruits of my labor! I’m slowly but surely blossoming into a new ME!

The bible tells us this..."So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up."- Galatians 6: 9. This scripture is referring to the principle of sowing and reaping. You will always harvest what you plant (Galatians 6:7) It’s quite simple - every action has results. If you plant apple seeds, you would be very surprised if a peach tree began to grow, right? Of course you would be...you expect to see an apple tree. The same principle applies to all areas our everyday life...physically, financially, socially, emotionally and especially even spiritually. If you plant the seeds of eating an abundance of junk food everyday and sat on the couch everyday, you can expect to gain weight and begin to have health issues. If you plant seeds of a healthy diet and exercise, you can expect to lose weight and obtain good health. Here’s another example...if you plant to please your own desires, you’ll harvest a crop of sorrow. If you plant to please God, you’ll harvest a life of everlasting joy.

What kind of seeds are you planting?

I always tell my children. If you continue the same action day after day, you can almost guarantee that you will get the same action every single time. Sometimes, you have to change directions....or plant a different seed...in order to get a different and more favorable result.

Go back and look over both your long and short term goals. Now look at the types of seeds that you are planting in order to obtain those goals. As Dr Phil always says, “So how’s that working for you?” Take an inventory of your actions and then be honest with yourself and try to determine if you can really obtain your expected harvest from those actions. If not, it’s time to start over. The good thing is - it’s never too late!

For those of you who have really been working hard at your life changes, I want to leave this scripture with you. It blessed me and encouraged me to keep going right up to this morning and I hope that it does the same for you. The scripture reads as follows: “So think clearly and exercise self-control. .....Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then” (1 Peter 1:13-14 Paraphrased-NLT) We can’t get weary in well doing....keep moving forward in the right direction and your harvest will be plentiful!

On that note, I must go...I have to get in a run before I start my workday. My first 5K is on April 17th...the “Susan B. Komen’s Race for the Cure”. Please, please, PLEASE keep me in your prayers because quite honestly....I’m scared! (LOL) Fear and negativity are trying their hardest to creep in...LOL....but I hope to have a praise report when we talk again on April 26th.



Until then,
Sasha

Don't forget to tune in on April 26th!


Tuesday's Blog: Maria our "Life Unscripted" sister is back to encourage us in the every day parts of living.

YOU'RE FIRED!

“You’re fired!” Two dreaded words that no one wants to hear. One of my favorite shows is The Apprentice because at the end of the show you know that Donald Trump is going to turn to someone, point his finger, and say “You’re fired!” When you think of the phrase, “You’re fired!” your job is probably the first thing that comes to mind. “How am I going to support my kids without a job?” “How will the bills get paid?” However, being fired may not only refer to your job.

Another one of my favorite TV shows is “CHUCK”. In one episode, while Chuck was talking to his best friend Morgan, Morgan got upset because he discovered that Chuck had been lying to him a lot. Morgan also happens to be Chuck’s boss and Morgan was so upset that he turned to Chuck and said (bet you can guess it), “You’re fired!” Chuck replied, “What, from my job?!” Morgan’s response surprised me because he answered back, “No, from being my best friend.” Whoa! Now while you may have been fired from your job before, have you ever been fired as a friend? I can only imagine what it would feel like to be told that, “You’re not doing a good job as a friend anymore so I’m going to have to replace you.”

I’m sure that we’ve all had times when we feel like our friends are failing us or we’ve failed as a friend, I know that I certainly have. But I don’t know anyone who’s been physically fired as a friend. Have you ever thought about what it would be like if God ever fired you as a friend? He wouldn’t, because He is a kind, loving, and a merciful God, but what if God treated us like we treat each other? “I’m sorry but you never talk to me anymore so I’m going to have to let you go as my friend.” Have you been spending time with God in the way that he desires of you? I recently came to the realization that I haven’t been talking to God like I should, or spending adequate time with Him.

God has given us a willful nature and He doesn’t force us to do anything, He always gives us a choice. I realized that I was choosing television and Facebook, over Him, on a daily basis. He really wants to spend time with us, and I wasn’t making the time for it. God convicted me of this and I am now working to further strengthen my relationship with Him, and make sure that I am always talking things over with my Best Friend.

Spring is upon us and with that comes the beautiful weather and new life in the form of flowers and budding trees. Everything seems so new and fresh. It has inspired me to want to refresh my relationship with my heavenly Father, and my friends. This is one of the major goals that I would like to accomplish this spring, and I hope that you will do the same. The last words you want to hear are… “You’re fired!”



Till next time,
Tovah

I'll be back on Friday, April 23rd, with a little more about my life as a high school junior!


Monday's Blog: Sasha is back with more inspiration for us to live "Healthy Lifestyles"

REFRESH THE OLD

A couple of weekends ago we had a rainy and chilly Saturday. You know one of those days were you want to stay in your jammies and piddle most of the day. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do since my youngest daughter had spent the night over her sister’s house, which meant I had the entire house to myself. Well, almost, we do have two cats. Now that my granddaughters are with me during the week, I do miss the quiet time I’ve been accustomed too the past couple of years, so the question was, “What was I going to do with this time?”

Now I must be candid with you, washing clothes, rearranging closest, dresser drawers, and ironing was nowhere on the list of things I might do with this day! But that is what I ended up doing. Somehow I started pulling out summer clothing and discovered there were certain items I had not worn last year or the year before. Why? I don’t remember, but what I found was that I was going to have a fresher wardrobe than I had anticipated.

My finances have not yet lined up with what I believe God for them to be. Many don’t know this but a part-time job I had for almost 10 years ended in February. So right now I am not able to add the new pieces to my spring and summer wardrobe that I would like. And there was a part of me that wanted to be sad about this. Why? Because I feel that I work hard for the Lord doing ministry work and have sacrificed a lot to raise my youngest daughter and I should be able to buy new clothes. Now mind you, these were just my feelings, they have nothing to do with the reality of God in my life. I’m just sharing my emotional state with you because as women we can let our emotions get the best of us and easily lose sight of God’s reality. The purpose of “The Kitchen Table” is to let our sisters know that you are not alone in the things that you feel or experience. So, I just wanted everyone to know that when it comes to the makings for a “pity party” you are never alone. LOL!!

Now God’s reality in my life is…..He has kept every single promise that He has ever made to me!!! Thing is, He never promised I would be able to shop the way I desired. He never promised I would have a vacation and travel every year. But He did promise He would supply all that I have need of. Do I need new clothes? Honestly, “No.” Would I like a few new pieces? “YES!” Will I get new clothing this season? I don’t know? Reason being, my checkbook says, “No,” but since my checkbook does not have the final say, we will just have to wait and see.

As I began to look at what clothing I had, versus what I didn’t have, my entire attitude began to change. And the blues that were trying to get me realized they were no longer welcome. As they were leaving I had them send a text message to despair, sadness and woe-is-me, and tell them to turn back around because the party was off! ~Smile~

My excitement began to grow as I looked at familiar pieces with fresh eyes, and spent my day, gleaning a new wardrobe from what I already possessed. It turned into a time of refreshing the old or that which had become familiar. The next day I wore this beautiful blouse (it was one I hadn’t worn in a couple of years) with a new chunky necklace I had yet to wear, and headed off to church. Did I feel beautiful? You better believe it! Was it because of the clothes? NO! It was because of my attitude. While pulling out the different items, I began to realize what I had. Not just in clothing pieces, but what I had in Jesus. What it means to be the daughter of a King. I remembered that the clothes didn’t make me, but it was the love of God that made me. It was the death of Yeshua that made me and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit of God. So that is why I felt beautiful and strutted my stuff. I was wearing designer, but it was designed from the inside out.

During service a couple of older songs were sung, and I realized how much I loved them but it had been sometime since I heard them. When I got home, I started rummaging through my CD drawer and found not only those songs, but many more I had not listened to in awhile. Since then I’ve made a play list of some of my favorites and I’ve been listening to them with a refreshed ear. You know how it is when you get a new CD; you keep playing that new favorite, over and over. Well, I’ve been playing my new old favorites, over and over.

Sisters, often what we think we need, must have, or want, is already in our possession. We just need to refresh or adjust our attitude about things. I love wearing a new outfit for the first time and there is a special feeling that can come with that, but I realized the Sunday before last, that nothing tops the feeling of knowing who you really are. I cannot remember ever having a new outfit that made me feel the way I did, in the outfit I gleaned from the storage box from under the bed. Why? Because it had nothing to do with the clothing, it was all about me.

Spring is the season for new life and growth. It is a time when we open the windows, let in the fresh air and clean away all the old dust of winter. It is also a time to paint, garden, change out the draperies and bed covers, and just all around freshen things up. We often equate this with spending money, but I wonder how much we can refresh by refurbishing what we already have? Do you remember everything that is in those boxes you stashed away a couple of years ago? Take a look, you might find that you have a few gems you have forgotten about.

Just as we have boxes in the attic, basement, under the bed and the spare room that we have forgotten about, I think we also have things of God we have packed way and forgotten about? I know that I always feel really good about my home after a good spring cleaning, and especially when I change out accessories or paint a new wall. So, what about if we approach our spiritual lives the same as we do our spring cleaning and planting? What if we pull out the boxes that hold our experiences with God and house His faithfulness that we haven’t really thought about in awhile? What if we get rid of spiritual junk that is cluttering up our hearts and taking up precious space where faith could rule? What if we pulled up some of the weeds we have let creep into our hearts and replace them with the good seeds of the promises of God? What if we did a good spring cleaning on our inner self? What would that mean for us? Sisters I think it would mean something different for everybody, but the common thread would be, “It would bring us closer to our Father!” And it doesn’t get any better than that!!!

I pray you have been inspired to look at what you have with new eyes. I challenge you my dear sisters to start spring cleaning in your soul. I challenge you to refresh, and refurbish that which you already have and get rid of the old that is trash and taking up space. How? Just as you would in your house…one project at a time!



Blessings & Love
Ponnie

I will be back at my regularly scheduled slot on Wednesday, April 14th "Living Single & Loveing It" Hope to see you then.


Saturday's Blog: Tovah is up with "Life of a High School Junior"