Can We Talk?

Growing up, Joan Rivers was one of my favorite comedians and I loved her stick, “Can we talk?” She used those words as an opening for conversation and her dialogue.

When we think about it, as daughters of the King we should be able to say to one another, “Can we talk?” There's a great need for more heartfelt conversations among us spoken in love and truth.

Well, today I want to talk about something that’s on my heart, but something I think we can all relate to in some way.

For years I heard the Bible said (and quoted myself), “God doesn’t give you more than you can bear.”

Then one day, I realized I had been reading the Bible long enough I should have seen that scripture somewhere by now. I began to ask people, “Where in the Bible does it say that?” (Yes, this was pre-Biblegateway.com.) No one could tell me. And that’s because the Bible doesn’t say it. It’s another one of those things that we’ve heard, it sounded good and we repeated—especially to encourage someone in hard times.

Some people use, I Corinthians 10:13 to back it up. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” But this verse is really talking about God not allowing us to be tempted beyond what we can handle by giving us a way to not give into it. But you see girls; too often the hard times that come our way can be traced back to our own sin, poor decisions, mistakes and poor choices.

Not always, but often.

Let me give you an example. Having a baby that is still born (or sleeping) is one of the most grieves things to experience. Losing a child at anytime is. But when we experience this in having a child out of wedlock, it is an experience we put ourselves in place to have. Not God. I love both of my daughters dearly, (and God forbid) but if I were to have to bury one of them before I die, it would be a life experience, I set myself up for because I was not married. (And if done God’s way, I would not have children.) God, would not be punishing me, but all sin has consequences and therefore some of the very trying and hard times are our own doing—not God’s.

The past few weeks, I have found myself being tempted to respond to some life situations not in accordance with the Word of God. Some of the temptations I laughed at. The temptation to be petty, (a tit for tat) or telling someone off and putting them in their place! I was able to thank God; I am no longer that person and see how far I have come. But, I didn’t sail through them all. Could I have? Yes! Because I Corinthians 10:13, tells me I can.

We are tempted daily! Tempted to lie, cheat, steal, cuss folks out, get revenge, act childish, be petty, unforgiving, malicious, envious, hateful, mean spirited, drink too much, use drugs, be unfaithful to our spouses, lose our tempers and so much more. But the most dangerous is the temptation to not trust or believe God. We are tempted during the trials and tribulations of life (especially those we have no control over) to give up, or be like Job’s wife—curse God and die.

But the wonderful news to all of this is…once you become a resident of the Kingdom, (a daughter of the King of kings) you have all of God’s promises! That’s where we are able to make it through—no matter what. This is our way of escape!

Yes, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins, no matter how heinous they might have been, but that doesn’t negate the consequences we will suffer because of them. He forgives the murderer, but it doesn’t mean you will not still be executed by your state. He forgives the prostitute, but it doesn’t mean you will not die of Aids. But it does mean—you still get to spend eternity with Him!

In reading and studying our Bibles, we get to know the God of the Bible and are able to count on Him never leaving or forsaking us in the hard times—whether it is of our own doing—or not. But we also get to know that He is a God of His word. David didn’t get away, and he was a man after God’s own heart. David and his family paid a high price for his disobedience and poor choices.

Sisters, let’s stop repeating what we hear and read our Bibles more, so when we do say something, it will be the correct Word of God. The Word that breaks yokes, saves the lost and heals the brokenhearted.

If you want to start your day off with an affirmation, (which is a good thing to do), let it be what the Bible says and what will change your life! (Nowhere does it say we are to look for checks in the mail and such other foolishness.) Let’s try, “Lord I will be a light to the lost today! I will trust you today and fear not!” Let’s be about the business of serving God and making our days a service unto Him.

Some of us could use more joy in our lives. And knowing the God of the Bible and holding to His Word is where we find that joy—especially during the hard times. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

God I Still Believe In You…But!

Have you ever expressed or said to yourself, “God, I still believe in you but, I’m not sure you care about me?” [Quote taken from Truth Stained Lies (chapter 29) by Terri Blackstock]

I can tell you first hand that I have, and more than once. In fact it was a lifestyle.

There are many different things which can make us feel this way, but the most common thread is hard times. The times when it seems that one thing after another keeps happening to us and everyone else is merrily living life.

For me it was being raised with a deep root of rejection. Not being wanted by my mother or father. That will give any kid the feeling of being flawed. And to be told this, day in and day out only confirms the sneaky suspicion that it is true.

When I was growing up folks weren’t so quick to call it quits and breakup their family. Yes, people used to stay together if only for their kids. And being raised in a single parent household when most of the kids I knew had two parents, it made life that much harder not having a loving parent. I’m not singing the “Woe is me blues,” but just trying to set the stage, because over the years I’ve run into so many women who came from homes where there was not a loving parent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that because you came from a two parent home that it was automatically a loving environment. No way!

There is nothing loving about a father who sexually abuses you and your mother does nothing to stop it. There is nothing loving about having a father who is a drunk and physically abuses you and your mother. There is nothing loving about a father who rules the house with an iron fist and everyone is afraid of him. There is nothing loving about a mother who suffers from mental illness and is allowed to inflict pain upon the family and no one makes it stop. There is no joy or love in an abusive alcoholic mother. No, there is nothing loving about a life such as that.

And here is what such a life can do to you—it can make you doubt God’s love!

During my elementary school days, I had only one friend who was being raised by a single mom, everyone else in my neighborhood lived in two parent households. My friends mothers were kind and gentle women and they did not experience the daily abuse I did. I remember on holidays looking out the front window as the families packed up their cars to go out on outings and I was home with my great-aunt who couldn’t read or write. I was lonely, unwanted and forgotten about—so I thought.

But then to find out one day, there is a God who loves me—shook my world! As a kid, I could so easily accept Jesus as Savior, but as an adult it was a totally different ballgame in accepting Him as Lord. But even after I took the leap to believe, I struggled for years with wondering if God really cared about me.

It was always during the difficult and hard times, where I wavered concerning God’s love. “Why, why, why Lord, must things be so hard for me?” I often cried! “If you really love me why has my life been so hard all of my life?”

As I looked around me, it seemed that so many were doing much better than me. God was blessing them left and right and I seemed to continue to be beat down. And all the old feelings of being unlovable would surface and consume me. Truth is…it was hard to trust a God who let so many bad things happen to me—starting with my mother and no father!

I found it almost impossible to see God as a father, let alone a loving one. You see, my father was married to another woman and never wanted anything to do with me. My only point of reference was—rejection.

My mother never accepted responsibly for the part she played, and I became the object of her hurt, rejection and disappointment in life. So, where was this loving God again?

There were times in my life when I felt I was living hard to please God and then…Bam! Something else would come up that He could have blocked or not allowed to go down as it did, and I found myself back to feeling—God really couldn’t care about me.

Those who question if God cares about them are not a minority or small group. Nope, it is a full blow national and international sorority. It is one of the biggest and best lies that satan uses against us. “Yes, God does love her more than you. And you want to know why? Because you are no good—that’s why!” And until we are healed of our past and decide to agree with what the Word of God says—we buy into it, time and time again.

Here are some of the truths I had to come to grips with, which helped me trust God and believe Him. First, I had to believe His love was so deep, that He sent his Son, who knew no sin to become sin for me! And no, I was not worthy, but His deep love for me—makes me worthy! But most of all I had to take responsibility for my poor choices and bad decisions and believe (with all my heart) that God was working my past and all the bad things in it, together for my good! (Romans 8:28)  

I have spent many years studying the Bible and making the conscience decision to believe what it says. To try to agree quickly with God on His commands as to how I am to live to please Him. And through this came the healing process and forgiveness of my youth and past hurts.

As far as learning to understand a father/daughter relationship, I had to study what the Bible says about a husband and a wife. I know that probably doesn’t make much sense to you, (I still have the journal of that study which took a few years.), but one day, I somehow began to see how the same love I found in God as a Husband, translated into the same love of God as a Father. God knew I had a tainted view of what a father was, but since I had not been married He showed me what a loving Husband is to look like, through His relationship with Israel and Jesus. It was a private Holy Spirit led Bible study, and one I shall never forget, because it changed my life forever. It took me to the place to be able to have a real and authentic relationship with the One who does love me.

As a mature woman, I look back and see how the hard things in life have made me a better person in the Kingdom. And since so many women are scared from their childhoods, God made me a comforter and encourager because I understand the pain and brokenness of a loveless and abusive home. But most of all, I am a beacon of hope! Because I also know firsthand, the healing power of God’s great love.

Sisters, if you are one who still struggles consistently with believing if God cares for you—I’m a living witness that He does! But it is up to you to dig into Him, to be healed and freed! No one can do it for you—it is between you and Him. Jesus has opened the door and made the way, but it is up to you as to what you are going to do with that.

I am currently studying what it means to be a daughter of the King, and what Kingdom living truly is. It has taken me years to get to the point to truly know the God of the Bible. Not the God that others have told me He is, or even the one I had envisioned or made up in my own mind.

If you are one who finds it difficult to study the Bible, ask the Holy Spirit for help! I’ve talked to women who say, “The Bible is boring.” But I tell you, that is a lie from the pit! The Bible is wonderful and more than that it is our lifeline to the One who cares for us! Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Lifestyle of the ______________!

If asked to fill in the blank to the title, what lifestyle would you write down?

Would it be…the lifestyle of the rich and famous—the broken and down trodden—the jealous and envious? Or maybe you have a lifestyle of work to you drop, sickness versus health, or is it trying to keep up with the Jones’?

All over the world you will find people spending most of their waking hours striving or working for a particular lifestyle. But America is pretty bad in how it tries to sell us a bill of goods as to what type of lifestyle we are entitled too. Even if that translates into being up to your eyeballs in debt. Debt that consist of student loans (you may never live to pay off), or being so cash poor because of an outlandish mortgage, car note and designer clothing and accessories on maxed out credit cards.

In my 62 years, I have yet to meet anyone who didn’t want their version of a good lifestyle, (whatever that might be).

My mother came from a family of 10 kids and they were poor! All of them worked hard and strived to have a better lifestyle not only for themselves but for their children as well. So it seems that for years, each new generation (for the most part) did better than then their parents, except this current one today.

I recently read an article on how today’s generation is the first in America to not be doing as well or better as their parents were when they were the same age. For one, it didn’t cost an arm, leg and kidney and in some cases your soul to attend college. And if the average college grad owed $2,000.00 dollars in student loans, that was considered a lot of money. But it was doable to pay back. Today, young people are so bogged down in steep debt, that they are unable to buy houses, new cars or in many cases even live on their own.

Their troubles began when they bought into (or were pushed into) striving for a lifestyle more conducive to the “rich and famous” or at least something close to that.

People work hard to have nice things and live in a nice place, and they have no problem sacrificing time with family and friends to get them. But most of all we seem to also have no problem sacrificing time with God. This is one of the biggest downfalls of the Believer.

Here's an excerpt from Gloria Copeland's book “To Know Him”...“Of course, even after you make Jesus the Lord of your life, it takes more than a few causal contacts with God to learn how to be an overcomer.  It takes a lifestyle of communing with Him and spending time with Him.  If we truly want to see what God can do, we can’t be content to run to Him only in the hard times or when we’re in desperate need.  We can’t be satisfied just to work Him into our schedules when it’s convenient.  We must build our schedules around our time with Him. We must seek God in prayer and the Word every single day—when things are hard and when they’re easy, in good times and in bad.”  (Great book by the way!)

There goes that word again, lifestyle. The definition for lifestyle is very simple and straight forward…the way a person lives—period! Therefore, as a Believer, and child of the One true King….what should our fill in the blank say?

Lifestyle of the Believer! Lifestyle of the Healed! Lifestyle of the Forgiven! Lifestyle of the Loved! Lifestyle of the Blessed! Lifestyle of the one who loves Jesus! Lifestyle of the meek and humble! I could easily fill up a page of what we have the right to say and live because of who we are—but! That’s right, but! But, too many of us don’t know what God given rights we are entitled to because we don’t have (or see the need for) a lifestyle built around communing with God.

We are quick to run to God when we get a bad report from the doctor—lose our jobs—husbands walk out—children act up. And it doesn't seem to phase us that we've been remiss in developing a lifestyle of walking in love, forgiveness and building up our faith for the bad times.

The truth is, most of us will never be “rich and famous” well, not according to the world’s standards that is.  And that should be okay, because we have the propensity to be rich as part of the Kingdom of God! And I’m not talking about in our afterlife, but right here, right now!

You see, rich in the Kingdom has nothing to do with money. In fact, money is the lowest rung on the ladder of prosperity. “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” 3 John 1:2 (NKJV)

It is better to be poor financially and your soul prosper, versus be rich and lose your soul? Click (Matthew 16:26)

When we read the Good Book, it is loaded from the beginning to the end, about what prosperity (or riches) looks like for those who serve God. Of course it looks nothing like what the world has to say it is, but one must spend time, and desire to cultivate a lifestyle of Kingdom living to know all that it offers. 

We are already famous—our Father knows the numbers of hairs on our head, at any given day or hour—the beginning of our lives and the ending of our lives. Can we get any more famous than that?!

Seeking a lifestyle built around time with God is the only lifestyle worth pursuing! And I say that because, God (Creator of everything) knows what is best for us and He has all the answers. Time with Him will lead you to a lifestyle you never dreamed—and I'm not talking materialistically either!

If someone handed you a slip of paper and asked you to fill in the blank to “Lifestyle of the _____?” asking what lifestyle you live or are pursuing, would your answer be one that truly serves God? Or would it be one that serves manna or your own soul? Be honest in your answer to yourself. It is the only way for change.

Sisters, it’s time to get real with ourselves and God. Because you wouldn’t want to be one of the foolish virgins who gets caught without oil when the Bridegroom comes—now would you?  Click (Matthew 25:1-13) 

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Stereotypes and Preconceived Ideas (Myth Busters and Myth Makers)

As a woman of color and an American, I have been exposed to many stereotypes and preconceived ideas about my race of people and my gender. Coming up, it was we were a shiftless and lazy bunch of folks. Today it’s…all young black men are thugs and uneducated and our young girls are welfare recipients and baby making factories. The problem is the “all”!

But not many get a free pass on some type of stereotype being tagged on them. I was raised in the city of Philadelphia, and I grew up thinking that all Italians were part of the mafia, now if that is not a stereotype, then I don’t know what is. I’ve also been tempted to stereotype French and Asian woman. Why? Because I have had such negative experiences with them and it would be easy to put “all” of them in one basket.

Stereotyping people leads to the pool of preconceived ideas and notions of who they are and what they are, whether true or not. 

Stereotype, verb: typecast, pigeonhole, conventionalize, and categorize label or tag.

Preconceived idea, an opinion formed beforehand, a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty.

My new roommate is Caucasian and I just knew she would enjoy the fact that I had such a great range of “white mainstream music”. But too my surprise, she likes to listen to “soul (black) mainstream music,” which she also thought I would like…LOL! I enjoy listening to Barry Manilow songs, and she really doesn’t like him that much. On the other hand, she likes music I grew up with but no longer care to listen to. Stereotypes and preconceived ideas happen all the time—even with friends.  

While shopping at an open market in Honduras, my daughter encountered the enthusiastic call and and shouts from a vendor. He had something she must come and see. Well, when she got to his stand, he proudly showed her watermelons. He was so excited because he just knew he had a sale, but the sad thing is…she can’t stand watermelon. LOL! Her initial thought was, he must have been watching old movies where we are stereotyped as people who only love watermelon and fried chicken. L

I had a friend who traveled extensively  all over the world  for her work, and she told me that American woman are perceived as sluts and very loose women in many countries and black men are gold wearing gangsters. Which comes from them watching American television shows and Hip Hop videos. And they have put us “all” in one basket.

It would be nice if this just happened in matters of the world, but Christians are stereotyped and many people have preconceived ideas about us and it is not for the good either.

There are so many reasons people perceive Christians as being flakes and nuts, that I don’t have time to cover them all. False prophets, and make-believe preachers who are fleecing the flock, people claiming to belong to Christ (for their own gain), hate groups covering themselves with the name of Jesus and the list goes on! But today I just want to focus on those of us who are truly of the Household of Faith. 

Over the years in ministry, I have encountered so many people who have such a bad taste in their mouths about Christians, especially the ones whose parents kept them in church All day on Sunday! Somewhere during that torture, they made a conscience decision, never to go to church again when they were old enough to say, "No more!". But it was also the hypocrisy they experienced that went along with it. And there are the ones who came to church looking for love and support, only to be wounded even the more. And too many to count are tired of being beaten up emotionally by the bible tooters. 

We picket abortion clinics, but shun the girl’s or women in our church who become pregnant out of wedlock. (And often spend more time gossiping about them then we do praising God for His goodness.) We throw big showers for the married ones we like, and shun the others. Oh, we can be so messy and it shows in the opinions of those in our everyday lives.

When you look at the life of Christ, he always had something to give—mostly love and compassion.  He healed, He fed, He raised folks from the dead, He forgave and then He dealt with their sin. Jesus didn’t browbeat people with their sin; in fact, his biggest problem was with the leaders of the church. I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where He called anyone expect them, “Vipers and whitewashed tombs!” And that was because they were abusing their positions.  God loves people, it is sin that He hates. But we sort of get that backwards.

It's our job to be myth busters! We are to be a light, not a joke or someone people run away from. 

When people meet us and spend time with us, they should see we are not stereotypical in anyway. They should see something different about us, because “Love” never fails.

Now I am not guiltless, by no means. I look back over my life and I can see where I missed the mark and left people with the wrong impression or reinforced the bad one they already had. But, like Paul says, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child; I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (I Corinthians 13:11) I'm grownup now.

Sisters, we need to stop telling people in the world what they need to stop doing and what they are doing wrong. We have to be more like Jesus and offer them love, because in relationship, God opens doors for conversations that are good seeds and vast waterings.

No, maybe as individuals we will not be able to change the preconceived ideas of the masses, but all God asks of us is, "One person at a time!"

Jesus is our example of how we are to represent and He left us all the instruction we need. All we have to do is read it and make the decision to do what He commands of us. I don’t know about anyone else, but I remember my hay days of sin, and it wasn’t people telling what a sinner I was that drew me to Christ. No! It was the love and kindness of God exhibited through a co-worker and his wife.

How do the everyday people in your lives perceive you? Are you a myth buster or myth maker?

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Time!

Today is the 14^th anniversary of 911 and at sundown, we come to the end of the Shemitah year and the beginning of Elul 29. Now you might be wondering what exactly I am talking about and why have I put the two events together? And I can understand that because many Christians are not up on our “Jewish roots,” but it is important that we know what is going on and get prepared for what is to come.

Here is a clip “Rabbi Jonathan Cahn” from Tuesday’s broadcast on the 700 Club, please, please….please watch. Mystery of the Shemitah (click) This 20 minute segment is a short summation of the Shemitah, and will give you good information and something to really think about.

I have a few more chapters to read in The Mystery of the Shemitah, and I hope by time I post this blog I have finished. And I do suggest you get the book, because even if you only read the beginning, it will change your world and understanding about God and what His intent has always been, and it was never for the rich to get richer and the poor get poorer. And most of all, it has always been about our dependence on Him. Amen!

Sisters, things are about to change and not for the better.  You might ask, “What is it we can do?” Well, for starters, we can make sure we are in the “Will” of God! This is the safest place any of us can be right now. And we need to desperately pray for those we know who are not. I think we all know someone who claims to be a Christian but are not living a right life. We all probably know someone who was once on fire for the Lord, but now is lukewarm. And above all else, we all know people who are in danger of spending eternity in hell’s fire if they do not accept Christ as their Savior!

In Paul’s letter to the church of Corinth he advised them to judge themselves! Let us take his lead. Some of us already know what’s wrong, because we have made the decision to do things our way and not God’s way. But some of us have been lured into a false sense of “Everything is okay and I am fine with God.” But in truth you’re not.

Do you know that unforgiveness keeps us out of the will of God? I ask this because personally I think too many Believers for some strange reason do not know this. And I say that because so many of us refuse to forgive and let go. Disobedience period is a deal breaker for us in the Kingdom no matter how you slice it, but the refusal to agree with God to forgive—is a biggie. Why? Because like cancer it spreads (metastasis itself)! It affects how we filter everyday aspects of our lives, it causes us to involve others, and after awhile it turns into hate, which is the opposite of love. Unforgiveness is a nasty bugger.

But we can’t stop there; let’s talk about our idols (those things which come before God). They are a great downfall for us too. As we take time to judge ourselves, we should ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any idols we have erected and are blind to.

The new TV season is upon us and we are chomping at the bit for certain shows or sports events to return. Do you realize that TV can be an idol? Yup, because we can put TV shows before spending time with God. Ouch! I know I just stepped on a toe or two. In fact, I’m getting ready to make a few of you mad, but that’s okay if it will prompt you to stop and think.

The morning after Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder and Umpire broadcast, my Facebook feed is flooded with extensive commentary from women as they watch the show. And, from sisters who say, “Jesus is Lord” in their lives. Some even make it an event, “I got my wine, cheese and crackers!” I’ve even seen posts a day or two later, because it was set on the DVR. I am not trying to be the TV police, but all 3 of the above named shows (and I can name many more) are not what the Word says we are to be feeding off!

But not only that…these sisters give more praise (on Facebook) on a weekly bases to these show than they do God, Himself! And here lies your “idol”! How can we justify watching that which God has deemed sin, (He did not design sexual intimacy as something to be watched) and call it entertainment? We can’t if we don’t want to contaminate that which is good inside us.

Anything that gets more attention than God or reading the Word should be weighed as a possible idol in our lives. What is the first thing you do in the morning—check your phone—get on the internet—or read your Bible and spend time with God?

And I cannot leave out those of us who are watching porn, (in what we think is secret). God sees and the Holy Spirit is with you. Same goes for those of us who are fornicating or having adulterous affairs. I don’t care who you are…we are not in the “Will” of God when we practice sin. We do not get a free pass on, “Well God understands.”

Sisters, I beseech you (beg and plead with you) to be about the business of making sure you are in the “Will” of God and in the safety of Yeshua, the Messiah.

I am not trying to scare you, but I am warning you that NOW, (not tomorrow, not next week) is the time to get right with God, make sure your house is in order and diligently start seeking Him on behalf of the lukewarm, the prodigals and the lost.

Forgive, ask to be forgiven, reconcile with those you have been separated from over foolishness, and let go of any sin you are holding on too! The Blood of Jesus has set us FREE from sin—so just let go!

Do not allow another day to pass where you don’t read the Bible and spend quality time with God. It doesn’t matter what you have to do to make it happen…just do it girls. Your life could really depend on it. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie