The Greatest Love of All

The Greatest Love of All….. We have just transitioned into 2013 and often the transition from one year to the next comes with high hopes, resolutions and goals. Which by the way—may be unrealistic and burdensome and is why we often don’t keep them. It’s not that we are bad people; it’s just that we are human and forget that it took time to gain the extra weight and we can’t rush it off overnight. We forget all the clutter in the garage, basement, and attic or even though out our houses, took time to accumulate and we can’t fix it in one weekend. We try to go to the gym 5 days a week instead of trying to be faithful and consistent for 2 days. We take on the challenge of reading the Bible through in 1 year, when we are not disciplined in reading it once or twice a week. We fail because we forget that change and the renewing of our mindset takes time. So, today I want to focus on why it is important to keep the commitments we make to ourselves.

On Facebook there are so many posts about our kids and husbands being the love of our lives and so on and so on. But apart from the God Head being the greatest loves in our lives, “WE” should be the greatest love of all. Yup, that’s right. Matthew, Mark and Luke all quote Jesus telling us to “Love our neighbors as we love ourselves.” Well, how can we meet that commandment if we don’t love and honor ourselves? We can’t! So it is time we started taking better care of ourselves…spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

I have found that achieving a well balanced life takes discipline, commitment and hard work. But doesn’t anything in life worth having or keeping? Even our relationship with God takes work commitment, and discipline.

The first thing we must do is agree with God that we are worth it. We have to work on killing the spirit and root of “Low Self-esteem”! How do we do that? Read our Bible and agree with what it says about us. Will it happen overnight? Nope! But it you start to fight the lies from the pit and other people’s evaluation of you with God’s truth, your mind will start to change its thinking process about whom you are.

Have you allowed food to become a “god” to you? Do you find comfort in eating? Are you a healthy weight? Do you need to lose weight and be more active? If so, don’t go all hog wild and take on a gym membership, join a paid weight loss program, or get crazy with what you’re not going to eat and throw everything out and buy foods that you are not used to eating. I say this because starting off doing these things before looking at what the real problem is, is a setup for defeat. How do we find out what the root is to being overweight? Start talking to God about how we really feel about ourselves and confess to Him that we NEED Him in order to change. If you stick to this, the Holy Spirit will help you sort through the mess.

Start out slow in making change. Take a week or two to look at how, when and what you eat. I found that when I was upset I would automatically go to the fridge or cabinet to grab something to calm my nerves. Somewhere along the way in life I had gotten into the bad habit of trying to sedate myself with food when I had an emotional upset. It took work to change that behavior. If you find this is something you do, then you can try doing a small chore when the urge. Prayer is good; because sometimes the urge would be so intense I had to pray out loud and ask Jesus for help and command my body to sit still! I also started keeping a water bottle in my bedroom and drinking water without having to go to the fridge and it really helped. This was the beginning of looking at how much I used food for other than its sole purpose of nourishment.

Exercise is something we really need to do and I say again….start out slow or in moderation. Get into the discipline of 1 or 2 days a week of walking, going to a dance class, or even a home exercise video if you don’t already belong to a gym. Don’t jump out there 5 days a week and set yourself up to fail….slow and steady.

Do not starve and deprive yourself, it won’t last long. Again, make small changes that will turn into lifestyle changes that stick. Try drinking more water and giving up sodas, even if they are diet…give them up. That alone with some form of exercise will make a big difference. But no matter what you do, stick to it because you are worth it!

We need to eke out time for ourselves on a daily bases. I know some of you have lives that are jammed packed! You take care of a household, work, go to school, and have ministry work at church, kids, husband and much more. That is all good and well, but the Bible tells us that we are to have a day of rest and most Sunday’s or whatever day you attend church services is not a day of rest for us at all. So my point is…we are not doing what God has said we are to do and that is not good.

I now live in a home where the bathtub is very shallow so I don’t take baths anymore, but my last home had a wonderful spa tub and I made it a special event to take a bath. Candlelight, music, nice beverage, bubbles and a good book or magazine always played a big part in it. Yes, I always ended up adding more hot water before I eventually had to get out. Ah, it is the little things that can really bring happiness. Music is a good way for me to unwind and relax my mind and nothing really tops a good book. Well, the Good Book does, but that’s about it…LOL!!! Going for a walk is good and helps to relax my mind and gives me time to hear myself think. I love magazines too because they keep me abreast of the latest fashions, hair products, fragrances and beauty tips. What’s something you can plan for you to do during the week to relax and nurture you?

Yesterday I looked at my hands and noticed I could really use a manicure, so if things work out I’m going to treat myself to one on Saturday morning. Ladies we need to deem ourselves worthy so that we take better care of ourselves. We must go the extra mile when it comes to self love. Our appearance really does affect how we feel about ourselves. So, start taking time to make yourself feel better about you! You don’t have to lose 50lbs before that happens, you have to love yourself today right where you are. So treat yourself to a new hair cut or color. Get a pedicure or buy a new lipstick. You are worth it!

Making time for God on a daily bases is a MUST! This is the best medicine for our emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. And for anything else we desire to achieve. If the schedule you are living by does not include private and quality time with the Lord every day, then your life is messed up and your priorities are wrong. If you have time for the internet, Facebook and TV, yet not God—it’s time to seriously rethink things. Church once a week won’t cut it….we must live a daily life of worship and obedience and without spending time in the Bible, prayer and meditation, those things are hard to achieve.

Again I caution you on jumping off the deep end and reading the Bible through in one year. I say that because it becomes a routine of how much you must read each day versus spending time reading and talking to God about what you have read. I have worked on one verse for over 3 weeks because it was life changing! God wants a relationship with us, not for us to perform, use a formula or try to stick to a schedule that often ends up being a form of bondage versus something we do out of love for Him. The best thing to do is get into a discipline of reading the Bible daily if only for 15 minutes a day. Why? Because if you can handle that everyday then you are going to learn something about God and yourself that you didn’t know before, and in time, the time you spend with Him will grow.

Small changes turn into big accomplishment with time. Most of us can handle small and will find it much easier to stick to “small” versus “huge” and overwhelming ourselves.

As you spend time learning to love yourself, you will begin to see the value and beauty in others. That comes with being able to see through the eyes of God and not ourselves. If we value what God says about us and believe it to be true then we will value all who He has made in His imagine and deemed righteous and holy.

I hope that I have encouraged you to look at your life with a touch of wisdom and not get caught up in the whirlwind of a New Year of unrealistic expectations to put on yourself.

Let your expectations be in the Lord and you will not fail or be disappointed in the least.

Look for a blog next week, until then….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

What The Heck Is Going On?

I’m writing this on Monday, December 17, 2012……Eight days before Christmas, 18 days before my 60th birthday and 3 days after the horrific massacre at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, USA. Emotionally I was numb this morning (spent an entire weekend of watching news reports on the 26 killed on Friday) and my spirits were low, to the point that I’ve removed myself from Facebook for awhile. Why….

….It seems that we had just gotten a reprieve from the great divide of the American Presidential race. And now here we go again. Should we have guns? Do our teachers need to be packing? Should we have armed guards in our schools? Should Congress finally stand up to the NRA? Do we as individuals need assault weapons to protect our homes? God has given most of us the ability to form opinions, but it seem of late that is all the “Church” is about….Opinions! We talk a lot, post a lot but it seems we are falling so short of what we should really be doing.

I spent most of last night and today thinking about life and talking to God about things. I realize that I have been becoming increasingly disgruntled with the celebration of Christmas over the past few years. The reason being, it really has so little to do with Christ anymore. To begin with it is not the date He was born; it is something that man came up with….not God. And as the world moves further and further away from God, the less Christmas looks like anything that pleases Him or Jesus. If Christmas Day doesn’t fall on a Sunday you are hard pressed to find a church open, yet we say it is a Christian celebration. Churches have toy drives for the less fortunate kids, but after Christmas we go about our merry way. It boils down to the fact that we are not showing the world Jesus on a daily bases…just at made up Christmas time.

We now find ourselves in the great debate about….if only Prayer was back in schools! Allowing prayer back in the schools I don’t think will make a big difference. Why? Because I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says the public school system is to teach people about Christ. We act as if satan and Madalyn Murray O'Hair have outwitted God! That’s insane…if we were to spend as much time reading our Bibles as we spend on Facebook…we would know better than that. And the real truth about prayer is no one can stop a Christian from praying! No, not really! You may not be able to pray out loud, but so what! We can pray whenever and wherever we want! Who can really stop us? Who really knows? So every Christian who works in a public school should be standing in the gap for that school anyway. Every Christian parent who has a child attending public school should be praying for that school every day. Teachers should be coming in early to pray for their classes and calling each student by name. Who can stop that? No one…that’s who!

The Bible does tell us that we are to help people all the time, and show them the love of Christ every day by the way we live. So instead of toy drives why not be a haven for children after school, helping them with their homework, feeding them supper so that hungry kids will be fed. Why is it we just adopt a family for Christmas, and not the entire year to make sure their needs are being met and show them what Christ looks like on a daily bases? Gaining access to witness and share the gospel with them.

Christmas to me has become a “Holiday” that is all about greed, covetousness and money…even for Christians. We get upset because people say, “Happy Holidays versus Merry Christmas!” but why? So many Christians are no different than the world when it comes to celebrating Christmas. We lie and tell our children that Santa Claus is bringing them gifts, instead of teaching them that God has blessed and given us the means to buy them, we go into debt to buy gifts, (but will not tithe) we become selfish and self-centered about what we want and what we think our kids should have. Why? What does any of this have to do with celebrating the birth of our Messiah? How are we showing the world the grace of God and the love of Christ when we are in the crowds on Thanksgiving Day or Black Friday that are running people down to get a deal on a TV or computer? Of course this is not all Christians, but it is way too many to count. I’m really talking about Americans here.

Sisters I am sad today as I look at the world and the things that are going on because it seems the Church is asleep and we are not seeing the signs. I say this because so many who say they are Believers seem not to be living in ways that will convenience those who are lost and need to be evangelized. The Church wants to fight about things that really don’t amount to a hill of beans versus that which will be pleasing unto the Lord and bring change to a dying and lost world.

That is the bad news; but the good news is that Jesus has told us to be of a good cheer for He has overcome the world. I know that God is faithful and though I am sad today, I still have great hope in my heart for tomorrow, because I know God is already there.

I pray that I have maybe provoked you to think about this Christmas season and what it really means to the Kingdom of God, (not you) and to take a good look at your everyday life…what does it look like to your family, coworkers, neighbors, people in the supermarket, the teller at your bank or the stranger you met, and especially those on Facebook? Do you look like Christ to them or do you blend in so much you look like the world?

We have moved into the realm of where man is a lover himself and not God. Those who live in the darkness of the world, I understand, but for those in the Church….I find it very distressful. Time is drawing near; it is time to be very serious about the business of the Lord. Not manmade nonsense, but that which God has said is His business.

Look for a blog next week, until then….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

The Gift of Love

Love is a gift that can be freely given or ladled with stipulations. Well, true love (God’s love) is “unconditional” which translates into the ultimate free gift. As Believers we strive to love like God, but often fail because of the human side of our flesh, but still, we should keep striving to come as close as we can. And today I would like to look at lavishing ourselves with unconditional love and respect.

As a mother if the doctor were to tell me that I needed to make lifestyle changes for my children (when they were younger) or they would not live to see adulthood, that would have been all they had to say. I would have done whatever was needed! Why? Because of my great love and desire for them to grow up healthy and strong, to become all they could be. Yet how come I haven’t loved me enough to make changes in my life, so that I am healthy, strong and all that I can be? That’s a good question!

My family health history doesn’t read as well as I would like it too. I can’t say we have a lineage of good genes and we live well into our 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. No, there is a curse of diabetes, congestive heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and several deaths from the complications of diabetes, including amputations and blindness. So, why have I been so lackadaisical about getting my cholesterol and blood pressure under control? How come I’ve allowed myself to put back on weight I had lost, knowing it affects my health and leads to all the above mentioned problems? I guess I could write about several underlined reasons, but the bottom line is—I really haven’t been lavishing myself with love. And I say that because when we really love someone, we desire the very best for them. We bend over backwards to make sure they have the things they need, no matter what the sacrifices. Well, I can’t say I have been acting that way in totality concerning myself.

The great thing about realizing you have a problem or there’s a problem, is that you are now able to deal with it. I have a problem of not caring for myself as I should and though I know my days are numbered, I now want to live them the best that I can. If God allows, I will turn 60 in January 2013. And one thing I’ve noticed is people who live to be in their 70’s, 80’ and 90’s that are able to get around and enjoy life are not 50 to 60 pounds overweight.

Well, my dear sisters if you remember Jennifer and I did a two part blog on February 13th and February 14th about loving yourself, and I now have an addition to mine. I now love me enough to do what I need to do in order to be strong and healthy!

I am starting the journey to becoming a vegan. Yup, getting rid of animal dairy products and all things that add to my high cholesterol. Now, I’m not jumping out there and throwing everything out and declaring “I am now a vegan!” Nope, can’t do it like that. The beauty of being 59 is that I know myself pretty well and I know I have to transition into this new lifestyle. But I’m still very excited about it though.

Very soon (I hope by next week) I will launch a Food Blog to journal my journey. I want to share how I’m doing and load it up with new ways to cook and plenty of pictures of things I cook and enjoy. There are two major reasons for the blog, one is to encourage other women, (especially African American women my age) that huge lifestyle changes are possible even when you’re older, and secondly accountability for myself. The reason I’m targeting African American women is we are very unhealthy compared to our Caucasian counterparts. We have a higher rate of diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and heart disease. And let’s not forget being overweight. But I also have Caucasian friends who fall into the same category, so it really is for all women.

I’ve been praying everyday about this because I know I can only achieve my goals with God’s help. So, I’m relying on the fact that I can do all things through Christ who is my strength!!

Sisters, I hope some of you will follow my vegan blog if for no other reason than to encourage me, but I do pray that you might be encourage to make changes in your life if needed. Not saying you will become a vegan, but maybe just start exercising more, and making healthier choices when it comes to what you eat and how much.

I don’t have a name yet for the blog and I am open to suggestions. Please write me at PonnieCousins@yahoo.com if you have an idea for a name.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

Some Days I Just Want to Scream!

Yesterday I was watching an episode of “Restaurant Impossible”. It’s a TV show on Food Network, where Robert Ervine goes into failing restaurants and turns them around in 2 days. He’s like a drill sergeant to say the least but I love how it all comes together in the end. Well, in yesterday’s show he had one of the family members (who everyone said had a horrible attitude and was mean to the employees) throw rocks and scream about the injustices she felt she has had to endure over the years, including the sudden death of her son at 23. Then he had her run around the field proclaiming how she was going to change. That part was a little humorous, but when she was throwing the rocks at a target he had set up, it made me think of the times I wish I had a field to throw rocks and scream in.

I don’t know about any of you, but there have been times in my life when I have wanted to just scream my head off, fall to my knees and pound the ground and get it all off my chest. I really do believe that if I had been able to express my anger and frustration openly at times, life would have been much better. You might be shaking your heads by now, but how often have we had to work through emotional pain bit-by-bit, keeping on a strong face? Probably more often than we would like to admit.

As a single mom, are you really free to stand up and scream your head off when you feel overwhelmed and hopeless? Nope. What would your children think? Especially if they are young, it would frighten them. No, we can’t do that. The best we have is a good cry in the shower where no one will hear. Can you openly show your children how much pain you are in as you mourn the breakup of your marriage? Again, no! Why? Because you must be strong to help them mourn the loss of what family life used to be for them.

There are many life experiences that can make you want to scream until you are tired…death of a loved one, teenaged children, an unfaithful spouse, loss of a job or your home, a long illness, an unjust and harsh boss or just life in general. And you know what, if you do have the freedom to scream in private—then do it!! Scream and cry until you feel empty. This doesn’t mean you are not trusting God or your faith is weak. No. All it means is you are human and have the human emotions God has given us.

I have screamed in my pillow, but it was controlled and how I wished I could have just let it all out. I have wanted to scream and cry and fuss and yell and cry until there are no more tears for that moment. It was during a time when life was very hard and felt so unfair. Of course I have survived it all, but to have been able to just let it out would have been a good thing. Because I was a single mom who homeschooled, I hardly ever had time to myself where I could even have a good cry. I don’t think it is good to put on an “I’m doing wonderful face” when we are sad and hurting inside. We need to be able to at least cry when we are sad. So the shower became my safe haven, but I still had to suppress the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.

But there is a good side to wanting to scream too. There have been times I wanted to go on the roof and scream the goodness of God. Yup, it hasn’t always been about scramming the pain out. Just as I’ve been overwhelmed with grief, sadness and pain, I have also been overwhelmed by God’s wonderful love for me. And that has moved me to want to shout it to the world.

Sisters, it’s okay to scream! No, not at other people, but when it’s just you and God it’s okay. In fact, it will help you not to scream at others. It will help you work through whatever it is you are going through. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. So, when the trials and tribulations of this life seem to be getting you down, if you can find a place to scream and cry about it—don’t be afraid to do so. Then when you’ve cried it all out, be sure to talk to Jesus about it. You will feel so much better.

The song Melissa Manchester sings, “Don’t Cry Out Loud…learn how to hide your feelings” is a lie from the pit and don’t you dare buy into it! ~Smile~



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

God....What's Going On?

Ever feel like things are not quite right but you’re just not sure what it is? I think we all experience what I like to call the “Troubling of the waters” seasons or phase of life.

Recently I’ve had the blues a bit. Why? Not really sure, but it’s making me move in closer to the Lord to find out why?

Just as our homes need a good spring cleaning each year, I believe so do our hearts. Have you ever neglected a closet to the point you can’t fit another pair of shoes or piece of clothing in it? Or each time you open the door, something falls out? And finally you spend week’s cleaning it out? Well, often our hearts (left unchecked) can overflow with stuff that needs to be let go of, reevaluated, trashed, refreshed, looked at with new eyes or given away.

Often when there is an unsettling or rustling in our spirits, its God’s way of getting our attention. But, we don’t always get that. As women we like to self medicate. Shopping or overeating I feel are in a tie for first place. Second place is filling our schedules to the point we are always on the go or way too busy to sit and here from God. In fact, we often run from God when He desires to spend time with us. Why? For me, it used to be fear of hearing what He might say. He might tell me I had to let go of something or someone I wanted to hold on to. Fear that I’m really wrong in an area where I have justified being right. Fear that He might ask me to do something that would be a big sacrifice. Fear of what He might reveal to me about me. Fear He might want to have a heart to heart, where change is needed and dreams could be dashed.

Knowing that I have probably lived more days then I have left before me, I look at life very differently now days, and when I find there to be unrest or the blues for more than one day here are there, I know it’s time to seek God as to what is going on with me.

There are surface things I can pinpoint and have talked to Him about, but most often they are just the symptoms of something much deeper. With an illness you may have symptoms…high blood pressure, you experience headaches and dizziness. Vertigo is the symptom of and inner ear problem, fatigue is a symptom of many different things…high blood sugars, low blood iron levels to leukemia. My point is—physical symptoms tell you something is wrong, but not always what it is. So, we have to go to the doctor for test and evaluations. Emotional unrest, the blues or depression also tell us…something is not right. So we must dig deeper to find out what the root cause is.

Often when looking into the recesses of our heart and mind, it can be likened to cleaning out that junky overgrown closet you’ve neglected a few years. But it’s a must if we want to stay spiritually healthy.

If you’re finding that things are a little off kilter or amiss, take time to move into to God to see what the root cause of this unrest is? Seek Him, with a humble and willing heart. Humble so you can receive what He has to say, and willing, to be able to make whatever change is needed. Sometimes it’s as simple as waiting for it to pass as He makes changes we are not even aware of, but on the other hand it might be a more difficult feat and require great change. But either way, it’s all good. Because God never makes a mistake!

So my dear sisters, I hope I have encouraged you to not be afraid to seek God, no matter what the outcome or circumstances, because He will always give us His best.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!