Yesterday I was watching an episode of “Restaurant Impossible”. It’s a TV show on Food Network, where Robert Ervine goes into failing restaurants and turns them around in 2 days. He’s like a drill sergeant to say the least but I love how it all comes together in the end. Well, in yesterday’s show he had one of the family members (who everyone said had a horrible attitude and was mean to the employees) throw rocks and scream about the injustices she felt she has had to endure over the years, including the sudden death of her son at 23. Then he had her run around the field proclaiming how she was going to change. That part was a little humorous, but when she was throwing the rocks at a target he had set up, it made me think of the times I wish I had a field to throw rocks and scream in.
I don’t know about any of you, but there have been times in my life when I have wanted to just scream my head off, fall to my knees and pound the ground and get it all off my chest. I really do believe that if I had been able to express my anger and frustration openly at times, life would have been much better. You might be shaking your heads by now, but how often have we had to work through emotional pain bit-by-bit, keeping on a strong face? Probably more often than we would like to admit.
As a single mom, are you really free to stand up and scream your head off when you feel overwhelmed and hopeless? Nope. What would your children think? Especially if they are young, it would frighten them. No, we can’t do that. The best we have is a good cry in the shower where no one will hear. Can you openly show your children how much pain you are in as you mourn the breakup of your marriage? Again, no! Why? Because you must be strong to help them mourn the loss of what family life used to be for them.
There are many life experiences that can make you want to scream until you are tired…death of a loved one, teenaged children, an unfaithful spouse, loss of a job or your home, a long illness, an unjust and harsh boss or just life in general. And you know what, if you do have the freedom to scream in private—then do it!! Scream and cry until you feel empty. This doesn’t mean you are not trusting God or your faith is weak. No. All it means is you are human and have the human emotions God has given us.
I have screamed in my pillow, but it was controlled and how I wished I could have just let it all out. I have wanted to scream and cry and fuss and yell and cry until there are no more tears for that moment. It was during a time when life was very hard and felt so unfair. Of course I have survived it all, but to have been able to just let it out would have been a good thing. Because I was a single mom who homeschooled, I hardly ever had time to myself where I could even have a good cry. I don’t think it is good to put on an “I’m doing wonderful face” when we are sad and hurting inside. We need to be able to at least cry when we are sad. So the shower became my safe haven, but I still had to suppress the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.
But there is a good side to wanting to scream too. There have been times I wanted to go on the roof and scream the goodness of God. Yup, it hasn’t always been about scramming the pain out. Just as I’ve been overwhelmed with grief, sadness and pain, I have also been overwhelmed by God’s wonderful love for me. And that has moved me to want to shout it to the world.
Sisters, it’s okay to scream! No, not at other people, but when it’s just you and God it’s okay. In fact, it will help you not to scream at others. It will help you work through whatever it is you are going through. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. So, when the trials and tribulations of this life seem to be getting you down, if you can find a place to scream and cry about it—don’t be afraid to do so. Then when you’ve cried it all out, be sure to talk to Jesus about it. You will feel so much better.
The song Melissa Manchester sings, “Don’t Cry Out Loud…learn how to hide your feelings” is a lie from the pit and don’t you dare buy into it! ~Smile~
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
See you next Monday!
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