It Only Takes One Decision to Change Your Life.

Decisions are something that we have to make every day from the moment we wake up to the moment we lie down. The alarm goes off, “Do I hit the snooze button again or do I get up now?” I’m tired, “Do I go to bed early or try to stay up and watch a little TV?” And in between those two every day events, there are so many more decisions to make. Some we do by habit, others we do from commitment and often we are just going with the flow. But there are times in our lives that one poor decision can have lasting consequences that can be very devastating. Driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol can put you in a wheel chair for the rest of your life, cause you to be responsible for the death or injury of others, or even send you to jail. It can also take your life. But there is a flip side to all of this and that is, one good decision can also change the caliber of your life for the better.

Being a teacher of women, someone asked me a couple of weeks ago, “What information would you give women to help them be successful in their New Year’s resolutions?” I’m not a big fan of “New Year’s Resolutions” so I had to take a minute to think about what’s the common thread for us as women on resolutions. The more I thought about it the more I realized the list of things we jump up and say we are going to do or would like to do for the New Year is quite substantial. But there is one thing I can think of that will cover anything on that list and more. It is, “This year, I’m going to obey God!” Yep, that about says it all.

Somehow as Believers we have gotten off track to think that we can pick and choose what we do as far as the Word of God is concerned. Beep! Wrong!!! If we are going to live to our fullest potential then we have to start with, “What does God have to say about this in my life?” And whatever it is, I’m going to do it!

How do we get started? I suggest that you begin with taking a hard look at that thing you want to change the most. For most of my adult life, I struggled with my weight. I would lose weight only to gain it back and even pick up some extra pounds I didn’t have before. But when I began to see (through the Word of God) that my eating was much deeper than just taking in too many calories or not exercising enough, then I was able to get to the root of my problem. I was using food to help me deal with certain emotions. It was a god to me and also a comfort in some ways. The truth is, God did not make food to comfort us, He made it for fuel and nourishment to the body. He never intended for food to be our friend, *Yeshua, is our Friend. And the Holy Spirit is the one in which we gain and receive comfort. As I began to get to the root of my overeating and made the decision to treat my body as the temple of God and take authority over my flesh, things turned around for me. As I took one day at a time, focusing on obedience to God, food began to lose the hold it had had for years. That was the biggest blessing to me, I was FREE!! The extra blessing or the gravy you might say was that I did begin to lose weight, dropped about 5 sizes, and I have not gained it back.

I used my weight issue as an example because losing weight and getting healthy is one of the top 3 New Years resolutions for women. But no matter what it is that you want to change in your life, you first must realize you cannot do it apart from Yeshua and obedience. You cannot expect your finances to change for the better, if you don’t do what God says concerning your money. If you don’t tithe then you are going to have money problems. If you spend your bill money on things that you shouldn’t then you will always find yourself behind in your bills and your credit rating low. Ask yourself, “Why is it that you are such a poor steward of your money? How do you view money?” We must get to the root of why we struggle or have problems in certain areas in our lives. Deciding to obey God period will change your life forever….for the Good!

There is no easy or might I say, lazy, way to achieve this. You must spend time reading the Bible. But I do want to say, that the King James Version is not “the be all to end all” that some people believe. First, Yeshua didn’t speak King James English, He spoke Hebrew and Aramaic. So for anyone who has been taught that King James is the only real Bible, you now know better and are free to try other translations. I say this because over the years I have met too many women with this misconception, and since King James can be somewhat difficult to read, they stopped trying. So if you don’t have a translation that suits you, please look for one that does. Also if you are not one who has been reading your Bible on a consistent basis, please don’t try to go from 0 to 90 all at once and try to read a chapter every day when you hardly read a chapter a month, or better yet, don’t try the formula for reading the Bible in a year. Make a realistic commitment. It can be 15 minutes day. But whatever it is, stick to it. You will also need a good Bible concordance and study guide. Another biggie, you must read the Old Testament too. It is a must, because without it you won’t really understand God, and it will help you with your understanding of the New Testament. And if possible, please attend a Women’s Bible Study. A good Women’s Bible study will help you have a renewed mind in Christ and His way of how a woman of God should be.

Second, surround yourself with women who are positive in the Lord, and stay away from the self-righteous, judgmental ones who think they have arrived. There is a little test I tell women to try to help them judge where people are at. It is often impossible to tell from an outward appearance who people really are because so many in the church have practiced and polished their appearance of being holy in such a way, that new converts or baby Christians are easily fooled. Take a biblical truth you know is right, and really flows against what the world says, and twist it a bit to be more mainstream than God and see what this person’s reaction is to you. Do they agree and cosign your foolishness? Are they huffy and self-righteous in correcting you? Or do they lovingly guide you back on track? You want the latter. Let me give you an example why it is so important to be grouped with the right people.

I was mentoring a young woman who had been struggling with letting go of a relationship that she had so desperately wanted to workout. And in her desperation she had really made some very poor decisions concerning this man, but when she did decide to be obedient to God she began to pull away from that lifestyle. There was also a very well known female minister throughout the city of Philadelphia, who happened to befriend this young woman. One day she was visiting her and she began to question this young woman about her child’s father, and when the young woman shared that it didn’t seem that he wanted to marry her, this well seasoned, well known woman of God, told her that she had to use her feminine wiles to help him see that she was it. WRONG!!! The blessing in all of this was that this young woman had really made the decision to obey God, had been in the Word concerning this matter and knew that what this minister was telling her was wrong!!

The dangerous part of all of this is that if this encounter had happened two months before it did, the young woman could have easily agreed with this woman and found herself in even more trouble. I’m not just sharing one side with you, because as a leader in our church I began to watch this minister, and it turned out she was giving wrong information to several woman and it was addressed. I am sharing this story (with permission) because I want you to understand that you must know the Word for yourself, and it is essential to group yourself with women who not only know the Word of God, but have made the decision to live by it through “Obedience”.

Sisters rise up and be in the group of virgins who are prepared for her Groom. Do not be one of the ones caught without oil. See Matthew 25:1-10 in your translation of choice.

Blessings.....Pat Betters

Note from Ponnie: *Yeshua is the Hebrew name for our Messiah. Christians call Him, Jesus, but in Pat’s blogs the Messiah will be referred to in His Hebrew name of Yeshua.

Monday’s Blogger: Sasha Brown….Beauty & Health

Welcome my dear sisters to “The Kitchen Table”

Hi my name is Ponnie Cousins and I’m the visionary for “The Daughters of the Most High” and “The Kitchen Table” daily blog.

I’ve been involved with inner city missions for close to 20 years, and have been in the ministry of helping women in crisis for a little over sixteen years. As a baby Christian (and I do stress “baby”) I ventured out to feed the homeless in downtown Philadelphia. It was exciting and scary at the same time. Back then, there were many more homeless people living underground in our downtown area than now. No, it doesn’t mean that Philadelphia has somehow found an answer to its homeless problem. It just means that our mayor at the time who is now our governor put a stop to the downtown area being overrun with people camping out in our underground subway and shopping areas. Call it progress for the city to build a new convention center and Marriott hotel. But there has always been (and probably always will be) a group of people who live in the back ally ways and literally sleep in the streets. Those were the people my ministry fed. Many were classified as schizophrenic, but the truth is, many were demon processed. The Lord used this time to make me bold and cast out any fear that would hold me back from the things He would have me do over the years. It was easy even though I was in my late 30’s because I was a young Christian and believed every Word of God I could get hold of. Oh, how I sometimes long for those first days, when God made things so much easier for me. ~Smile~.

After giving birth as a 40 year old single mom and living through mistreatment from church folks who swear by all that is holy they love the Lord, I soon found myself helping women who were being mistreated as I had been. I’m sad to say that it still exists today. Missionaries are equipped with many different gifts, but my more dominate gift is “encouragement.” However, I am not alone in this particular part of the Body of Christ, there are many of us. And our Lord has decided to bring some of us together in one particular venue so that we can pool together the gifts that the Holy Spirit has so generously given us, thus birthing “The Kitchen Table.”

I would like to take a moment to share with you how I met each of the women who sit at The Kitchen Table.

Pat Betters: As a new convert in a small church, but one that was growing quickly, I was really hungry for the Word of God and I went to just about everything they had. Pat was teaching the Women’s Bible study and that was how we met in April 1990. She has been my best friend in the Lord ever since that day. She is a great woman of God and an awesome teacher of His Word. She had also been my mentor and has helped me through the years more than words can ever express. I pray that all women will have a mentor such as her. Of course she rubs it in that she is chronologically younger than me. It is less than 2 months, but it’s a big deal to her. But in Jesus years, she’s 3 days younger than water. LOL!! She is a no-nonsense person when it comes to teaching women about the Lord, but I have to admit, she is good!

Sasha Brown: I met Sasha through a facebook game called, “Sorority Life!” I needed people to win fights so I ventured out to an online group where you could get other people to join your house. But the downside was they had to become a facebook friend first. I was a little hesitant at first, but jumped in anyhow. Ours was a match made in heaven because most of the time you have to block a lot of the people you pickup, but I wrote something in my status that she liked and she stuck around and here we are. Sasha is a strong and giving woman in the Lord. I can only deeply admire people who adopt children, but a single woman who adopts two children blows me away. You’re gonna love her style. We haven’t made plans yet on how we are going to meet face-to-face, but I think it will be after she celebrates her 40th birthday.

Michele R Cousins: We met on January 7, 1975, 11:05pm. It was at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, where I had just given birth to her. I took one look into those funny looking eyes of her’s (they are now light brown) and decided she was a keeper. LOL! She is my oldest of two girls and the mother of my three granddaughters Zoe (11), Christina (5) and Amaia-Joi (2). She works hard at caring for her 3 girls and others as she is a registered nurse. We’ve been together for 35 years now. As a young child she had a passion to help sick people and wanted to be a nurse since I can remember. She has a very gentle and quiet spirit, and is a very compassionate woman. Michele has written some good stuff for you gals, and I’m not just saying that because I’m her momma!

Tovah Cousins: Cousins is not Tovah’s legal last name, but since she is a minor I have chosen to use it just in case she is googled. Of course she had to make our meeting a little different by showing up 7 weeks before she was supposed to. I didn’t get to hold her when she was first born. A team from the ICN (Intensive Care Nursery) grabbed her the minute she arrived, which was 12:15pm, on April 7, 1993, stuck her in an incubator and whisked her off. That was 16 years ago. With my oldest daughter I decided from day one I would keep her, but not so with Tovah. Tovah is the one who was almost aborted, and thus has become a living representation of God’s great love and mercy. When I minister to women who want to have an abortion out of fear, I can not only tell them about Tovah but they get to see the living proof of God’s love and hope.

Sharon C. Daniels: When I first met Sharon her last name was Miller, and I don’t think she and Ernest were even looking at each other let alone thinking about marriage. The one thing that stands out most in my mind about her is her wonderful personality and gentle spirit. She worked a full time demanding job but also held the part-time position as church secretary. No matter how difficult her day might have been, she was at church in the evenings (always with a smile) meeting whatever obligation she had. Now years later she and her husband (the youth pastor) head the Youth Ministry at Christ Community Church of Philadelphia, and she has the same sweet disposition and commitment to the work she does unto the Lord. Sharon is committed to helping people with their finances, and she is on a mission to help each of us.

Maria Guzman: She and I met at the Philadelphia “Women of Faith Conference” in October 2008. I was gifted with a ticket and went by myself. The Friday morning session was general seating and Maria was sitting one seat over from me. I guess she could see that I wanted someone to talk to, because she leaned over and introduced herself. We started talking and have been ever since. I could tell by her conversation how much she was on fire for the Lord, and that she and her husband were very involved in their church. We exchanged numbers and email, because after that session we would have to sit in our assigned seats, and with over 13,000 women we were not sure if we would see each other. Good thing we did that, because I haven’t seen Maria since the first time I met her, but we have become good friends nonetheless. Prayerfully we will get to spend time together at the Philadelphia 2010, Women of Faith Conference. Maria is bilingual and will be doing her blog in English and in Spanish. Her January blog addresses something we all have had to deal with at some time or another. Make sure you check her out.

Lydia Hedinger: Lydia’s mother was going to be Tovah’s 8th grade Spanish teacher in her new school, and she had assigned schoolwork for the summer and I called her to clarify some of the work. Well, turned out her and her husband were missionaries and we started talking about how wonderful God is and sharing ministry stories and we hit it off right away. Tovah was very shy in making the transition from home school to being a full time student in private school. Lydia, being homeschooled and used to moving and making new friends, befriended Tovah. Here you had two girls who had parents who worked for the Lord and understood each other in many ways. Lydia is a very beautiful young woman inside and out. She is caring and very kind hearted. Her parents have trained her well in the things of the Lord. I can’t wait to see how being 18 years old in her world turns out.

Cheryl Mackey: I remember Cheryl as a young married woman with no children. I love to see her smile because her entire face smiles, especially her eyes. She is sweet and very soft spoken. My greatest memory was how happy she was when she found out she was going to have her first child, who is now 7 years old. Her husband is a really funny guy. When you see the two of them together, he is always making her laugh. In fact he is always making me laugh. He’s also one of our associate ministers. Besides loving the Lord, one of her best attributes is that she has such a humble spirit. Humility is something we have to work so hard at, yet she makes it seem so easy. I love her writing style and you are in for a treat. All you homeschooling moms, or those of you who think you might want to home school, you must read her blog. She is witty, but very open. You can almost feel her smile.

Rita Scarborough: Rita and I met at a home school enrichment program held at Crossroads Community Church (which later became my missions church) that our daughters attended. She and her husband were home for 1 year to visit the different churches that sponsored them as missionaries in the Arab world. We hit it off and have been crazy friends ever since. That was almost 10 years ago. If you are a person who is shy, you should not go out with the two of us. We have bad habits like talking and laughing in the movies. Rita has many gifts, but as with most missionaries the gift of ‘helps’ is very prominent. Girlfriend does not have time to talk about what needs to be done; she just jumps in and does it. Her family was called back to the states after 911, but she has not skipped one beat in all her work for the Lord. The perspective she has taken to talk to you married ladies, is really sort of cool. Not preaching, but great food for thought.

Rise’ Wampler: As much as we are warned about meeting people on line, I must confess that I have met some great sisters that way. Rise’ and I met through a virtual support group for Christians who are foster parents. I googled this group and have praised God ever since I found them. I had been part of the group about 2 weeks when Rise’ sent me an email introducing herself. She had been under the weather when I first joined, but I had already been introduced to her hubby, another comedian in the bunch. We hit it off and started an out of group friendship. What can I say about a woman who has adopted 11 special needs kids? One thing….she is my hero!! We have plans for her to come to Philly in 2010 if God is willing and I think between her, me and Rita, we are sort of pestering Him about it. ~Smile~ You have got to read her blog to find out how her and Rich ended up adopting 11 kids. It makes for some good reading, trust me.

I look forward to the journey we will all be taking this upcoming year, and I’m very excited about the great things the Lord has planned for us.

Saturday’s Blog: Pat Betters will be sharing a New Year’s resolution that can change your life forever!


Love & Hugs
Ponnie

2 More Wonderful Sisters from "The Kitchen Table"

Sharon C. Daniels....Women and Their Finances

Sharon C. Daniels works in the Health Benefits Industry specializing in Client Services. She received her degree in Business Administration from Temple University. Prior to transitioning to her current position, Sharon was an Underwriter for a major insurance company for almost twelve years. A strong background in numbers and a passion for the financial well-being of those around her has motivated her to find ways, avenues, and outlets whereby she can help as many people as possible to “Live like no one else, so that later, you get to live like no one else, and give like no one else!” Sharon and her husband Ernest are expecting their first child this year.

Interests - Sudoku, Reading, Watching TV Shows (like NUMB3RS LOL) and playing games in a group setting.

Favorite Movies - Ever After, Finding Forrester, Hitch, Lean On Me (but only with the TV Guardian On!), Legally Blonde, A Little Princess, Pay It Forward, Princess Diaries (1 & 2), Searching For Bobby Fischer, Something The Lord Made, Uptown Girls.

Favorite TV Shows - 24, Bones, Criminal Minds, Heroes, House, Lie To Me, Monk, NUMB3RS, Smallville.

Favorite Music - Alvin Slaughter, Commissioned, Delirious?, Fred Hammond, Hillsong (Australia, London, and United), Israel & New Breed, Lisa McClendon, Martha Munizzi, Marvin Sapp, Out of Eden, Scott Krippayne.

Favorite Books - Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, Love Life For Every Married Couple by Ed Wheat, The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko, The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.


Michele R. Cousins...Working Single Moms

My name is Michele R. Cousins. My birthday is January 7, 1975. I was born and raised in Philadelphia. I am mother to 3 beautiful daughters; Zoe, 11, Christina 5, and Amaia-Joi 2. I have been a registered nurse for over 13 years. Nursing is both my passion and my calling. I am currently working on my Masters Degree. I look forward to sharing my thoughts, feelings, struggles, and ideas with all of you. I hope to learn from you and I pray that you will also learn from me.
Interest:
I don't have any hobbies but I do enjoy quiet time (which I get very little of), reading, rainy days, and a good movie. I do have fun playing Wii with my girls and Wii Fit when I can find the strength to try and exercise.

Movies/TV Shows
Saving Private Ryan, The Dark Night, Color Purple. My all time favorite TV shows are All in the Family and The Jefferson’s.

Books
God Are You There? It’s Me Margaret. “God's Master Plan for Your Life” by Gloria Copeland. Though I love to read, mostly I am reading textbooks for class.

Music
90’s R & B, & Martha Manuzzi

Our Young Women at "The Kitchen Table"

Lydia Hedinger....18!

My name is Lydia Hedinger. I am 18 years old and living in Portland, Oregon (where it always rains) with my Dad, Mom, three brothers and my adorable dog Sierra. ~Smile~ I just graduated from Alliance Charter Academy (I was homeschooled for most of my education) and am planning on attending Portland State University in the fall to study European history. For right now I’m working as a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant and praying for the Lord to show me what he would like me to do with the free months I have off of school. Oh, and best of all my parents are missionaries.

Interests
I love to write novels (though I have not been working very hard on them) and paint. I also of course love books and movies and history.

Favorite Moves/ TV Shows
Far and Away, Beauty and the Beast, anything with Cary Grant in it, Indiana Jones, Pride and Prejudice, Community, The Office, Bones

Favorite Music
Josh Groban, Michael Buble, lots of other random songs.

Favorite Books
The Scarlet Pimpernel, any travel books by Frances Mayes, The Historian, all of the Jane Austen books, Rebecca, Beowulf






Tovah Cousins.....High School Junior!



Well, let’s see, where to begin? I’m Tovah Wilson, I’m 16 years old and currently a junior in high school. I go to a Messianic Jewish school, and I’m starting the process of applying to colleges. I am also Student Council President. I love to hangout with my friends and I’m enjoying my last 2 years of high school while they last. I’m Ponnie Cousins’ youngest daughter, and I’ve been helping my mom with inner-city missionary work for as long as I can remember. I volunteer each summer at Alpha Pregnancy Center, a Christian organization that provides positive alternatives to abortion. I currently volunteer as a student teacher for Chalutzim Academy working with children ages 3 to 6 years old. This is good training as I will be pursuing a career in early childhood education.

Interests
I have a jewelry making business and make a lot of my own jewelry. I love to read, play guitar, watch movies, listen to music, and curl up with a good book on a rainy day.

Favorite Movies/TV Shows
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The Princess Bride, The Mummy. Monk (sorry it ended) and Chuck. I have many more but my mom only wanted a couple.

Favorite Music
Flyleaf, Les Miserables, Michael Bublé, Eisley

Favorite Book
Singing River Series, Left Behind Series (Adult), just about all books by Melody Carlson

Cheryl & Rita, 2 More Sisters from The Kitchen Table

Cheryl Mackey....Home School Mom

Cheryl R. Mackey was educated in the Philadelphia school system. After graduating high school she attended Lincoln University in Pennsylvania where she received a B.S. in Psychology. Following Lincoln Cheryl received a Masters of Arts degree from Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary (presently called Palmer Theological Seminary). While at Lincoln Cheryl was introduced to the saving knowledge of Jesus and there invited Him into her life. Also while enrolled at Lincoln she met the man who later would become her husband.
After her schooling, Cheryl held various positions working with children ranging in ages infant to 18 years old. Her titles include, Mental Health Counselor, Foster Parent Recruiter, Director of early child care facility, Preschool/Kindergarten Teacher and Certified Instructor. The most important title she has held (and continues to hold), however, is that of full time stay at home mom.

Currently Cheryl serves as an Associate Pastor, heading the children’s ministries at Christ Community Church of Philadelphia. She resides in Sharon Hill, PA with her husband, Brian and their two sons, Brandon, 7 and Christian 3, and first year Home School mom.

Interest – I enjoy reading, watching a good movie and sleeping (LOL). Within the last couple of years I have taken to exercising daily. I would not say it is so much of an interest rather that I am interesting in not gaining weight back and staying healthy. I also enjoy baking and hanging with my family and friends.

Favorite Movies – I absolutely LOVE musicals. Give me a movie with some singing and dancing and Oh Man! My favorites are West Side Story, Grease (not the 2nd one, blah) and Hairspray. Other movies that I can watch over and over are Remember the Titans, The Count of Monte Cristo, Zorro 1 and 2, the Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Batman Returns, X-Men 1,2 and 3, Spiderman 1,2 and 3, Fantastic 4 and Transformers. As you can see I also have a Superhero thing going on too!

Favorite Music – Primarily I listen to Gospel and Contemporary Christian. My taste varies but I prefer Fred Hammond and anything by Commissioned. I enjoy Tye Tribbet, Casting Crowns, Steven Curtis Chapman, Israel Houghton, and CeCe Winans. On Occasion I like to listen to an old Stevie Wonder song.

Favorite Books – Anything by Francine Rivers or Joyce Meyers is a must read. More recently I have been reading novels by an author named Neta Jackson. She writes a series called The Yada Yada Prayer Group. There are 8 books in this fiction series and they are wonderful



Rita Scarborough.....Married Life

My name is Rita Scarborough and I have been married for 19 “Exciting and Extraordinary” years to my husband Alphonso. We have two children Rachel and Joshua. We have two dogs and a rabbit. Their names are Maadi, George and Frodo. We live in the Garden State, more commonly known as the state of New Jersey. I have been serving the Lord for about 22 years now and currently serve as the Special Events Coordinator for the youth ministry at our church. For 9 of those years my family and I did Christian service work in the Arab world.

Interests: Some of my interests are traveling, acting, and cooking. I have had the pleasure of traveling to 17 countries on three continents. Acting has always been one of my passions since high school. I am presently in a Christian drama group called Chosen Vessels. I have been performing in Christian plays for about 15 years and currently have a reoccurring role in two plays titled Secrets on South 60th Street and Aunt Lo’s Rent Party which we perform two or three times every year. Cooking is also an interest of mine that I really do enjoy. If you can believe it I cook everyday and most of my cooking is done from (dare I say it) STRATCH!!! I am game to try any recipe at least once.

Favorite Movies: The Temptations, The Five Heart Beats, West Side Story, All About You, and The Ten Commandments.

Favorite Music: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, and Broadway Musicals ie: West Side Story, Cats, My Fair Lady

Favorite Books: Hadassah, UnPretty, Cover Girls, Saved In The City, Seasons, and Plenty Good Room