Permission Granted

When I used to ask my mother for permission to go to the movies, bowling, or over a friend’s house, “No,” was often the answer. And I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and can do what I want!”

Yes, and at 18 I could do what I wanted and ended up doing a lot of things I had no business doing. (Well, that’s for another blog.) LOL! I gave myself permission to go for the gusto! Not really knowing any better at the time. But, life became serious and then I had to grow up.

With my first daughter, I still found time to read at night after work, watch a little television with her before she went to bed, talk on the phone and still get in the bed at a decent hour. But with my second daughter (another generation later) I found my days jammed packed.

My second go round, was a single homeschool mom working from home. I was overwhelmed to say the least. Many mornings you would find me on my computer doing work at 4am. My daughter got up at 6:30am to do her math, get dressed and read the sticky notes I left her, just in case I had a business call and she needed to keep working or make her own breakfast. We ate breakfast at 8am, so that gave me two and half hours for work, and an hour and a half to do the lesson plans for the day (I was always behind), shower, make my bed and get dressed! And I still had a full day ahead of me and I was already a little tired.

I was blessed beyond measure to have a friend who helped me see I needed to give myself permission for time for me. Because once we give ourselves that permission, we can then figure out how to make it happen.

On the practical side, most days we took an hour for lunch and the last half I went in my bedroom and shut the door. My daughter was allowed to watch a video or a TV program when she was younger. Sometimes I needed to talk to an adult, so I called a friend or I just closed my eyes to rest my brain. Fridays became half days for schooling.  I chose one Sunday each month where we didn't attend church. I slept in and did much of nothing. And I made sure I didn’t have to cook and refused to do any chores. Saturdays were usually always taken with art classes, school trips and sometimes work.

A snow day was a blessing (we still did work), because it was a day to wear jammies and not feel guilty!

But the best thing I did, was stop waiting so late to spend time with God. I stopped giving Him the end of my long and tiring day. I gave myself permission to put aside things for Him. I did what Pasty Clairmont encourages us to do, “Create within your day permission to be still. For it is there we hear His voice most clearly and find our own.”

And it was during those times, I learned permission to forgive myself, permission to love myself, permission to accept myself and permission to be free of other people’s opinions of me. 

When I look at the women of the Bible and all they had to do and they still got to have a Sabbath day of rest—I’m baffled at the lifestyles we as Believers live and never have a Sabbath day of rest?

All followers of Christ do not attend church on Sunday, but I’m going to use Sunday as an example because so many of us do. Sundays are basically not days of rest for women, anymore than Monday is. We still end up cooking, tending kids, going to meetings at church and preparing for Monday.

Women of the Bible had to go to the river and beat clothes on rocks to get them clean, and they were dusty and dirty like nothing we’ve ever seen. They walked to the well everyday to get water, milked goats, pressed olives for oil, grinded wheat to make flour, churned goat’s milk for cheese, baked bread, killed and pluck chickens and cleaned house while one baby was wrapped around their bosoms, and another holding on to their skirt. And they had everything done for Shabbat.

It's amazing that with all our modern day conveniences, we still find it difficult to give God time that is substantial. Something better than the end of a long day where we find ourselves reading the same bible verses over and over and just give up. “I’m too tired tonight, tomorrow will be better.” But tomorrow is just another repeat of the night before.

Sisters, our daily lives are so full of things to do; we are missing out on being still. And it’s robbing us of permission to relax, laugh, take a day off, and accept being imperfect, make a mistake without being devastated and just plain goof off once in awhile.

Life is serious business indeed, but it should not be joyless. It should not be all work and no play, but mostly it’s never to be such that it steals our time from the One who loves us most.

Some of us are miserable. This should never be the state of one who is a resident in the Kingdom. But you see girls; it takes purpose, determination and planning to spend time in the Word of God and prayer.

No matter your age, your marital status, ages of your children or family dynamics…if spending time with God is not a priority in your everyday life—it’s time to grant yourself permission to create time for Him. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie