Permission Granted

When I used to ask my mother for permission to go to the movies, bowling, or over a friend’s house, “No,” was often the answer. And I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and can do what I want!”

Yes, and at 18 I could do what I wanted and ended up doing a lot of things I had no business doing. (Well, that’s for another blog.) LOL! I gave myself permission to go for the gusto! Not really knowing any better at the time. But, life became serious and then I had to grow up.

With my first daughter, I still found time to read at night after work, watch a little television with her before she went to bed, talk on the phone and still get in the bed at a decent hour. But with my second daughter (another generation later) I found my days jammed packed.

My second go round, was a single homeschool mom working from home. I was overwhelmed to say the least. Many mornings you would find me on my computer doing work at 4am. My daughter got up at 6:30am to do her math, get dressed and read the sticky notes I left her, just in case I had a business call and she needed to keep working or make her own breakfast. We ate breakfast at 8am, so that gave me two and half hours for work, and an hour and a half to do the lesson plans for the day (I was always behind), shower, make my bed and get dressed! And I still had a full day ahead of me and I was already a little tired.

I was blessed beyond measure to have a friend who helped me see I needed to give myself permission for time for me. Because once we give ourselves that permission, we can then figure out how to make it happen.

On the practical side, most days we took an hour for lunch and the last half I went in my bedroom and shut the door. My daughter was allowed to watch a video or a TV program when she was younger. Sometimes I needed to talk to an adult, so I called a friend or I just closed my eyes to rest my brain. Fridays became half days for schooling.  I chose one Sunday each month where we didn't attend church. I slept in and did much of nothing. And I made sure I didn’t have to cook and refused to do any chores. Saturdays were usually always taken with art classes, school trips and sometimes work.

A snow day was a blessing (we still did work), because it was a day to wear jammies and not feel guilty!

But the best thing I did, was stop waiting so late to spend time with God. I stopped giving Him the end of my long and tiring day. I gave myself permission to put aside things for Him. I did what Pasty Clairmont encourages us to do, “Create within your day permission to be still. For it is there we hear His voice most clearly and find our own.”

And it was during those times, I learned permission to forgive myself, permission to love myself, permission to accept myself and permission to be free of other people’s opinions of me. 

When I look at the women of the Bible and all they had to do and they still got to have a Sabbath day of rest—I’m baffled at the lifestyles we as Believers live and never have a Sabbath day of rest?

All followers of Christ do not attend church on Sunday, but I’m going to use Sunday as an example because so many of us do. Sundays are basically not days of rest for women, anymore than Monday is. We still end up cooking, tending kids, going to meetings at church and preparing for Monday.

Women of the Bible had to go to the river and beat clothes on rocks to get them clean, and they were dusty and dirty like nothing we’ve ever seen. They walked to the well everyday to get water, milked goats, pressed olives for oil, grinded wheat to make flour, churned goat’s milk for cheese, baked bread, killed and pluck chickens and cleaned house while one baby was wrapped around their bosoms, and another holding on to their skirt. And they had everything done for Shabbat.

It's amazing that with all our modern day conveniences, we still find it difficult to give God time that is substantial. Something better than the end of a long day where we find ourselves reading the same bible verses over and over and just give up. “I’m too tired tonight, tomorrow will be better.” But tomorrow is just another repeat of the night before.

Sisters, our daily lives are so full of things to do; we are missing out on being still. And it’s robbing us of permission to relax, laugh, take a day off, and accept being imperfect, make a mistake without being devastated and just plain goof off once in awhile.

Life is serious business indeed, but it should not be joyless. It should not be all work and no play, but mostly it’s never to be such that it steals our time from the One who loves us most.

Some of us are miserable. This should never be the state of one who is a resident in the Kingdom. But you see girls; it takes purpose, determination and planning to spend time in the Word of God and prayer.

No matter your age, your marital status, ages of your children or family dynamics…if spending time with God is not a priority in your everyday life—it’s time to grant yourself permission to create time for Him. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

We Are Not Extras!

Have you ever been or know someone who’s worked as an extra in a movie?

You can make up to around $300 a day, but mainly have to wear your own clothing, and if a woman, do your own makeup and hair styling. You show up ready to be in the movie. The only time they make you up or give you clothing would be for period movies, or zombie movies, etc. LOL!

And you usually don’t get to see the main actors (or stars) of the movies.

Being an extra seems like a good deal, but, that $300 a day is pittance compared to the money the stars of the movie make. Plus, they are lavished and pampered and get makeup and clothes. And if the movie is a hit, they get all the glory and honor.

I don’t know, but it seems that many of us as Believers see ourselves as extras in God’s scheme of things. We don’t think our part is big or important.

Extra…A background actor or extra is a performer in a film, television show, stage, musical, opera or ballet production, who appears in a nonspeaking or nonsinging (silent) capacity, usually in the background for example, in an audience or busy street scene).

We are bombarded with so many famous preacher/evangelist personalities that folks view them as the stars of Christendom!  And don’t forget the hierarchy of the individual congregations and denomination boards. We also see them with large roles.

Many church services consist of praise and worship teams, musicians, dancers, flag carriers and so much more before we even get to the Word. Yeah, we see them as stars of sorts too. And here we are, little old us, sitting in a cubby 5 days a week, doing the same tedious job over-and-over. No one really praises us, or gets excited to see us. Not like when Pastor Handsome comes out and the congregation stands, and the music wells up and everyone starts to clap. No! That’s for the stars and the stars only!

Wrong!

In the Kingdom of God, there are no stars and there are no extras! There are no fillers to make others look good. Nope! We all have a story...written especially for us. We are all considered by God. We all have a special part to play—in this thing called, “Life!” We don’t have to take care of ourselves and show up. He provides for all that belong to Him.

Recently a young man was knifed to death helping a young mother and her baby at a bus stop.

A mentally ill man tried to attack a woman and her baby, and a bystander stepped in to help. He was stabbed several times (enabling the woman to run and scream for help) and died at the scene. When they interviewed his friends there were so many tears. He was well known in the area because of his skateboarding. As I watched the story, it was heartbreaking and at first sight seemed so senseless, but then I thought, “What if that was his role in life?” Yes, his role in this life was to be there at that particular time to save that young mother and her child. What if that had been his purpose all along?

Wow!

To the natural eye, he would seem like an extra. Friendly enough guy, well liked, but out of work and trying to get himself together. Yeah, that would be extra. Not a real star—doing nothing great for others to see. But if you look at the fact that he gave up his life for someone he did not know—that is not the life or fate of an extra.

Just because we are only known or recognized by a few, doesn’t mean the story God has written for us, is not important. In fact, it could be so important that someone’s life depends on it.

We could live an entire lifetime and have just one purpose in life, but nonetheless it is still great!

Why?

Because it is what God has chosen for us.

Moses’ mother was here to give birth to him. The same goes for Samuel’s mother. They were not allowed to raise them, but their purpose was to give birth to two men God used greatly. Were these women extras, or did they have a most excellent role?

You see sisters, your kind and gentle spirit can persuaded someone to seek out our Lord. That coworker who has watched you day in and day out, and wondered what it is that makes you tick. The one who can’t figure out why you don’t lose your temper when mistreated? Why you are never part of the office gossip and complaints? Why is it you always have a kind word for those who really don’t deserve it?

With all the preachers and evangelist on television, the internet, church podiums and the radio—many are still going to be saved through a one-on-one interaction with a Believer. In other words, if it wasn’t for you—Sally may have never seen the light of Christ.

As human beings we like numbers. We like to count and give reports on how many (during an evangelistic outreach) gave a profession to Christ. Pastors get together and brag about how many people belong to the congregation they head. Yeah, we think numbers are important, but I can tell you—God is not impressed.

Look at David; he got in trouble for counting when God told him not too! During the wall of Jericho event, God dwindle the numbers way down. Why? So, no one could stick their chest out and claim it was achieved by the number of men. I would have to say, “God is not into numbers at all!”

Bottom line…whatever it is that you are doing in this particular season of life—if it is ordained and ordered by God—it has purpose and is a good thing!

If your life is only to make a difference in the life of just one other person—you have a lead role. And your reward will not be the accolades of men, but the declaration of our Lord, “Job well done, my good and faithful servant!”

There are no extras in the Kingdom. We all have an important and great role in God's end plan.

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Can We Talk?

Growing up, Joan Rivers was one of my favorite comedians and I loved her stick, “Can we talk?” She used those words as an opening for conversation and her dialogue.

When we think about it, as daughters of the King we should be able to say to one another, “Can we talk?” There's a great need for more heartfelt conversations among us spoken in love and truth.

Well, today I want to talk about something that’s on my heart, but something I think we can all relate to in some way.

For years I heard the Bible said (and quoted myself), “God doesn’t give you more than you can bear.”

Then one day, I realized I had been reading the Bible long enough I should have seen that scripture somewhere by now. I began to ask people, “Where in the Bible does it say that?” (Yes, this was pre-Biblegateway.com.) No one could tell me. And that’s because the Bible doesn’t say it. It’s another one of those things that we’ve heard, it sounded good and we repeated—especially to encourage someone in hard times.

Some people use, I Corinthians 10:13 to back it up. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” But this verse is really talking about God not allowing us to be tempted beyond what we can handle by giving us a way to not give into it. But you see girls; too often the hard times that come our way can be traced back to our own sin, poor decisions, mistakes and poor choices.

Not always, but often.

Let me give you an example. Having a baby that is still born (or sleeping) is one of the most grieves things to experience. Losing a child at anytime is. But when we experience this in having a child out of wedlock, it is an experience we put ourselves in place to have. Not God. I love both of my daughters dearly, (and God forbid) but if I were to have to bury one of them before I die, it would be a life experience, I set myself up for because I was not married. (And if done God’s way, I would not have children.) God, would not be punishing me, but all sin has consequences and therefore some of the very trying and hard times are our own doing—not God’s.

The past few weeks, I have found myself being tempted to respond to some life situations not in accordance with the Word of God. Some of the temptations I laughed at. The temptation to be petty, (a tit for tat) or telling someone off and putting them in their place! I was able to thank God; I am no longer that person and see how far I have come. But, I didn’t sail through them all. Could I have? Yes! Because I Corinthians 10:13, tells me I can.

We are tempted daily! Tempted to lie, cheat, steal, cuss folks out, get revenge, act childish, be petty, unforgiving, malicious, envious, hateful, mean spirited, drink too much, use drugs, be unfaithful to our spouses, lose our tempers and so much more. But the most dangerous is the temptation to not trust or believe God. We are tempted during the trials and tribulations of life (especially those we have no control over) to give up, or be like Job’s wife—curse God and die.

But the wonderful news to all of this is…once you become a resident of the Kingdom, (a daughter of the King of kings) you have all of God’s promises! That’s where we are able to make it through—no matter what. This is our way of escape!

Yes, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins, no matter how heinous they might have been, but that doesn’t negate the consequences we will suffer because of them. He forgives the murderer, but it doesn’t mean you will not still be executed by your state. He forgives the prostitute, but it doesn’t mean you will not die of Aids. But it does mean—you still get to spend eternity with Him!

In reading and studying our Bibles, we get to know the God of the Bible and are able to count on Him never leaving or forsaking us in the hard times—whether it is of our own doing—or not. But we also get to know that He is a God of His word. David didn’t get away, and he was a man after God’s own heart. David and his family paid a high price for his disobedience and poor choices.

Sisters, let’s stop repeating what we hear and read our Bibles more, so when we do say something, it will be the correct Word of God. The Word that breaks yokes, saves the lost and heals the brokenhearted.

If you want to start your day off with an affirmation, (which is a good thing to do), let it be what the Bible says and what will change your life! (Nowhere does it say we are to look for checks in the mail and such other foolishness.) Let’s try, “Lord I will be a light to the lost today! I will trust you today and fear not!” Let’s be about the business of serving God and making our days a service unto Him.

Some of us could use more joy in our lives. And knowing the God of the Bible and holding to His Word is where we find that joy—especially during the hard times. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

God I Still Believe In You…But!

Have you ever expressed or said to yourself, “God, I still believe in you but, I’m not sure you care about me?” [Quote taken from Truth Stained Lies (chapter 29) by Terri Blackstock]

I can tell you first hand that I have, and more than once. In fact it was a lifestyle.

There are many different things which can make us feel this way, but the most common thread is hard times. The times when it seems that one thing after another keeps happening to us and everyone else is merrily living life.

For me it was being raised with a deep root of rejection. Not being wanted by my mother or father. That will give any kid the feeling of being flawed. And to be told this, day in and day out only confirms the sneaky suspicion that it is true.

When I was growing up folks weren’t so quick to call it quits and breakup their family. Yes, people used to stay together if only for their kids. And being raised in a single parent household when most of the kids I knew had two parents, it made life that much harder not having a loving parent. I’m not singing the “Woe is me blues,” but just trying to set the stage, because over the years I’ve run into so many women who came from homes where there was not a loving parent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that because you came from a two parent home that it was automatically a loving environment. No way!

There is nothing loving about a father who sexually abuses you and your mother does nothing to stop it. There is nothing loving about having a father who is a drunk and physically abuses you and your mother. There is nothing loving about a father who rules the house with an iron fist and everyone is afraid of him. There is nothing loving about a mother who suffers from mental illness and is allowed to inflict pain upon the family and no one makes it stop. There is no joy or love in an abusive alcoholic mother. No, there is nothing loving about a life such as that.

And here is what such a life can do to you—it can make you doubt God’s love!

During my elementary school days, I had only one friend who was being raised by a single mom, everyone else in my neighborhood lived in two parent households. My friends mothers were kind and gentle women and they did not experience the daily abuse I did. I remember on holidays looking out the front window as the families packed up their cars to go out on outings and I was home with my great-aunt who couldn’t read or write. I was lonely, unwanted and forgotten about—so I thought.

But then to find out one day, there is a God who loves me—shook my world! As a kid, I could so easily accept Jesus as Savior, but as an adult it was a totally different ballgame in accepting Him as Lord. But even after I took the leap to believe, I struggled for years with wondering if God really cared about me.

It was always during the difficult and hard times, where I wavered concerning God’s love. “Why, why, why Lord, must things be so hard for me?” I often cried! “If you really love me why has my life been so hard all of my life?”

As I looked around me, it seemed that so many were doing much better than me. God was blessing them left and right and I seemed to continue to be beat down. And all the old feelings of being unlovable would surface and consume me. Truth is…it was hard to trust a God who let so many bad things happen to me—starting with my mother and no father!

I found it almost impossible to see God as a father, let alone a loving one. You see, my father was married to another woman and never wanted anything to do with me. My only point of reference was—rejection.

My mother never accepted responsibly for the part she played, and I became the object of her hurt, rejection and disappointment in life. So, where was this loving God again?

There were times in my life when I felt I was living hard to please God and then…Bam! Something else would come up that He could have blocked or not allowed to go down as it did, and I found myself back to feeling—God really couldn’t care about me.

Those who question if God cares about them are not a minority or small group. Nope, it is a full blow national and international sorority. It is one of the biggest and best lies that satan uses against us. “Yes, God does love her more than you. And you want to know why? Because you are no good—that’s why!” And until we are healed of our past and decide to agree with what the Word of God says—we buy into it, time and time again.

Here are some of the truths I had to come to grips with, which helped me trust God and believe Him. First, I had to believe His love was so deep, that He sent his Son, who knew no sin to become sin for me! And no, I was not worthy, but His deep love for me—makes me worthy! But most of all I had to take responsibility for my poor choices and bad decisions and believe (with all my heart) that God was working my past and all the bad things in it, together for my good! (Romans 8:28)  

I have spent many years studying the Bible and making the conscience decision to believe what it says. To try to agree quickly with God on His commands as to how I am to live to please Him. And through this came the healing process and forgiveness of my youth and past hurts.

As far as learning to understand a father/daughter relationship, I had to study what the Bible says about a husband and a wife. I know that probably doesn’t make much sense to you, (I still have the journal of that study which took a few years.), but one day, I somehow began to see how the same love I found in God as a Husband, translated into the same love of God as a Father. God knew I had a tainted view of what a father was, but since I had not been married He showed me what a loving Husband is to look like, through His relationship with Israel and Jesus. It was a private Holy Spirit led Bible study, and one I shall never forget, because it changed my life forever. It took me to the place to be able to have a real and authentic relationship with the One who does love me.

As a mature woman, I look back and see how the hard things in life have made me a better person in the Kingdom. And since so many women are scared from their childhoods, God made me a comforter and encourager because I understand the pain and brokenness of a loveless and abusive home. But most of all, I am a beacon of hope! Because I also know firsthand, the healing power of God’s great love.

Sisters, if you are one who still struggles consistently with believing if God cares for you—I’m a living witness that He does! But it is up to you to dig into Him, to be healed and freed! No one can do it for you—it is between you and Him. Jesus has opened the door and made the way, but it is up to you as to what you are going to do with that.

I am currently studying what it means to be a daughter of the King, and what Kingdom living truly is. It has taken me years to get to the point to truly know the God of the Bible. Not the God that others have told me He is, or even the one I had envisioned or made up in my own mind.

If you are one who finds it difficult to study the Bible, ask the Holy Spirit for help! I’ve talked to women who say, “The Bible is boring.” But I tell you, that is a lie from the pit! The Bible is wonderful and more than that it is our lifeline to the One who cares for us! Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Lifestyle of the ______________!

If asked to fill in the blank to the title, what lifestyle would you write down?

Would it be…the lifestyle of the rich and famous—the broken and down trodden—the jealous and envious? Or maybe you have a lifestyle of work to you drop, sickness versus health, or is it trying to keep up with the Jones’?

All over the world you will find people spending most of their waking hours striving or working for a particular lifestyle. But America is pretty bad in how it tries to sell us a bill of goods as to what type of lifestyle we are entitled too. Even if that translates into being up to your eyeballs in debt. Debt that consist of student loans (you may never live to pay off), or being so cash poor because of an outlandish mortgage, car note and designer clothing and accessories on maxed out credit cards.

In my 62 years, I have yet to meet anyone who didn’t want their version of a good lifestyle, (whatever that might be).

My mother came from a family of 10 kids and they were poor! All of them worked hard and strived to have a better lifestyle not only for themselves but for their children as well. So it seems that for years, each new generation (for the most part) did better than then their parents, except this current one today.

I recently read an article on how today’s generation is the first in America to not be doing as well or better as their parents were when they were the same age. For one, it didn’t cost an arm, leg and kidney and in some cases your soul to attend college. And if the average college grad owed $2,000.00 dollars in student loans, that was considered a lot of money. But it was doable to pay back. Today, young people are so bogged down in steep debt, that they are unable to buy houses, new cars or in many cases even live on their own.

Their troubles began when they bought into (or were pushed into) striving for a lifestyle more conducive to the “rich and famous” or at least something close to that.

People work hard to have nice things and live in a nice place, and they have no problem sacrificing time with family and friends to get them. But most of all we seem to also have no problem sacrificing time with God. This is one of the biggest downfalls of the Believer.

Here's an excerpt from Gloria Copeland's book “To Know Him”...“Of course, even after you make Jesus the Lord of your life, it takes more than a few causal contacts with God to learn how to be an overcomer.  It takes a lifestyle of communing with Him and spending time with Him.  If we truly want to see what God can do, we can’t be content to run to Him only in the hard times or when we’re in desperate need.  We can’t be satisfied just to work Him into our schedules when it’s convenient.  We must build our schedules around our time with Him. We must seek God in prayer and the Word every single day—when things are hard and when they’re easy, in good times and in bad.”  (Great book by the way!)

There goes that word again, lifestyle. The definition for lifestyle is very simple and straight forward…the way a person lives—period! Therefore, as a Believer, and child of the One true King….what should our fill in the blank say?

Lifestyle of the Believer! Lifestyle of the Healed! Lifestyle of the Forgiven! Lifestyle of the Loved! Lifestyle of the Blessed! Lifestyle of the one who loves Jesus! Lifestyle of the meek and humble! I could easily fill up a page of what we have the right to say and live because of who we are—but! That’s right, but! But, too many of us don’t know what God given rights we are entitled to because we don’t have (or see the need for) a lifestyle built around communing with God.

We are quick to run to God when we get a bad report from the doctor—lose our jobs—husbands walk out—children act up. And it doesn't seem to phase us that we've been remiss in developing a lifestyle of walking in love, forgiveness and building up our faith for the bad times.

The truth is, most of us will never be “rich and famous” well, not according to the world’s standards that is.  And that should be okay, because we have the propensity to be rich as part of the Kingdom of God! And I’m not talking about in our afterlife, but right here, right now!

You see, rich in the Kingdom has nothing to do with money. In fact, money is the lowest rung on the ladder of prosperity. “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” 3 John 1:2 (NKJV)

It is better to be poor financially and your soul prosper, versus be rich and lose your soul? Click (Matthew 16:26)

When we read the Good Book, it is loaded from the beginning to the end, about what prosperity (or riches) looks like for those who serve God. Of course it looks nothing like what the world has to say it is, but one must spend time, and desire to cultivate a lifestyle of Kingdom living to know all that it offers. 

We are already famous—our Father knows the numbers of hairs on our head, at any given day or hour—the beginning of our lives and the ending of our lives. Can we get any more famous than that?!

Seeking a lifestyle built around time with God is the only lifestyle worth pursuing! And I say that because, God (Creator of everything) knows what is best for us and He has all the answers. Time with Him will lead you to a lifestyle you never dreamed—and I'm not talking materialistically either!

If someone handed you a slip of paper and asked you to fill in the blank to “Lifestyle of the _____?” asking what lifestyle you live or are pursuing, would your answer be one that truly serves God? Or would it be one that serves manna or your own soul? Be honest in your answer to yourself. It is the only way for change.

Sisters, it’s time to get real with ourselves and God. Because you wouldn’t want to be one of the foolish virgins who gets caught without oil when the Bridegroom comes—now would you?  Click (Matthew 25:1-13) 

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie