Book Review for “Dearest Samantha: I Love You!!!!”

Book Review for “Dearest Samantha: I Love You!!!! Stories of Hope and Encouragement for Hurting Women” by Heather L. Smith

As a former inner city missionary supporting and helping women and children in crisis, I’m easily drawn to Christian books written by women who have lived through the pain and disappointments life can throw our way. Because of this Dearest Samantha: I Love You! Stories of Hope and Encouragement for Hurting Women, quickly grabbed my attention.

The preface starts off very choppy and somewhat confusing, but I forged on with an open mind and great expectations of stories of hope and encouragement for hurting women as promised. Sorry to say, “It didn’t happen.”

The author went through a divorce after 30 years of marriage and lost her home, and not once before chapter 11 does she give her readers a glimpse of the pain she experienced, or the effect it had on her faith.

Over the years, I have helped women whose husband’s have left and asked for a divorce. And they ALL went through a period of grief, disappointment and anger at God for letting it happen. The author gives us a tiny glimpse of this in chapter 14—the book only has 22 chapters in all.

If I were a woman who was experiencing a devastating life event and read this book, it might make me feel worse rather than encourage me through the struggle.

Chapter 9 is full of one life event after another, which paints a picture of God answering all her prayers in a great and astonishing way, minus any periods of grief she might have experienced or unbelief and wavering faith. (It seems the author crammed different events and time frames into one chapter without any distinction between them.)

My reason for saying this book might make one feel worse versus encourage and lift them up is, if you were praying to God for answers and He is quiet (or you don’t have the people in your life she talks about in chapter 8 helping her at every turn and doing so much to care for her), it might cause you to wonder if God really loved you because your scenario is playing out differently.

The order of the stories and time frames are hard to follow and lack continuity. Also some of the scriptures used, seemed to be taken out of context. The author’s particular writing style of trying to make the chapters stories and love letters at the same time—did not work.  

However, there were a few chapters on point. But truthfully if I didn’t have an agreement to read the books I review completely through, I would have never read this book long enough to encounter those chapters—closer to the end.

I do empathize with the author’s desire to share God’s great love to the hurting, especially since it seems she has made it to the other side of hope. She was just not able to articulate it in a way to help one make sense of the pain and hopelessness they might be experiencing.

Dearest Samantha: I Love You! Stories of Hope and Encouragement for Hurting Women, is not a book I recommend for hurting women to read.

(Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”)

Until the next blog. Blessings and Hugs...Ponnie

Don't Give Up!

“Even though you’ve been anointed on the way to your destiny, there will be times of testing, where you don’t see anything happening. Times where it doesn’t look like it’s ever going to change. That’s when you’ve got to stay in faith and keep believing” ~Joel Osteen~

I posted this quote on my 22 year old daughter’s Facebook page on Monday. I thought it would encourage her in the many challenges she has faced her first year of teaching. But I wasn’t able to stop thinking about it in the context of what it is saying if you are older and it has been many years. What does that look like for some of us? What has it looked like to me?

And sisters, this is how today’s blog came to be!

The past couple of weeks whenever I’ve had a conversation with my mentor and bible teacher, she has encouraged me to join her in praying for the saints. I didn’t shrug her request off, but I didn’t pick up her banner either, because the Holy Spirit has given me the task to spend more time praying for the lost. And yet, when I read Joel Osteen’s quote it helped me to better understand her request and the weight Jesus’ words to Peter, hold. “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. ³² But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:31-32 NIV)

Jesus saw the need to pray that Peter’s faith not fail from the guilt he was going to experience for denying him. He had to step in and intercede for him, or he wasn’t going to make it. But Christ also knew that when Peter’s faith didn’t fail and he got his act together—he would leave behind a great testimony that to this day is still helping us, “Fight the good fight of the faith!” (I Timothy 6:12a CJB)

Joel Osteen speaks about the times we don’t see things changing. You’ve been praying for relief from pain in your body, your finances, a bad marriage, the shenanigans of a teenager or a poor work environment—and relief has yet to come. Your diligent prayers (for the past 5 years), for your husband’s salvation have gone unanswered. In fact, he seems to be worse than ever. You have children who have denounced Jesus and openly choose to practice sin—the 9 years of fasting and praying for them seems to be of no avail. It looks as if satan has an even stronger hold on them.

Waiting on God, can chip away at ones faith. And if we are not careful, it can also propel us into taking matters into our own hands. So, what can we do about this?

For one—we must pray for one another. And especially in the times we are being ushered into today. We are living in, “What is right is deemed as wrong. And what is wrong, is hailed as right!”

But! We must also study the Bible. Because if you have anything in your life you need faith to stand against, it will be impossible to achieve based on someone else’s faith or what you’ve only been told by others. That’s a foundation built on sand. Only a foundation built on rock (Jesus is the Rock) can withstand the storms of life. Even in the natural this is true. Build a house on sand versus rock and see what you will have left after a violent storm. Rubble.

Knowing the God of the Bible (not the one we have made up in our minds, or been told), is imperative if we are to stand to the end. Our faith doesn’t stand a chance if we don’t keep feeding it.

Another stumbling block is the belief in “prayer warriors”. I have yet to see this in the Bible—anywhere. It’s something man has come up with, because we have such a hard time believing in the simplicity of God’s Word. If you are one who is always calling on others to pray with you and for you—please question why? Is it because you don’t believe God hears you? Is it because you think He hears others better than He hears you?  Or if you get enough people to stand with you, He’s going to hear even better and be moved?

Jesus prayed to the Father for Peter, all by himself. The prophetess Anna spent years in the temple praying and fasting day in and day out for the coming of our Lord, by herself.  

Here’s a little story I want to share, which happened close to 20 years ago. One summer out of the blue, prostitutes started sitting on the steps of my neighborhood high school, using it as a pickup spot.  When school reopened in the fall, I noticed cars cruising by in the morning trying to pick up the young girls going to school. And without fail the prostitutes would return every night.

I started walking around the school after the last bell rang (an entire city block), praying out loud and taking authority over that situation. (There is a much longer version to this story, and especially how I finally got up the nerve and faith to get out there.) I felt really foolish in the beginning, but by the end of it all—the prostitutes were no longer out there and the cars stopped cruising and bothering the young girls. There wasn’t a clean sweep by the police—it was the prayers of one.

This experience taught me how to better walk in the authority that is given us, and removed any doubt I might have had about God hearing my prayers. It made me bold.

There was only one person who knew what I was doing (because the Lord used her to be the final push), you see I was acting a lot like Moses. It was only years later I found out she was praying for me every time I went out.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying not to ask others to stand with you in prayer, or pray for you. It’s just that we do it so frequently; I am admonishing you to check your motivation in seeking the prayers of others. And remember there is not a special group (prayer warriors) to do the job for us.

When a saint requests prayers of me, I often do not pray the way they have requested. If someone has been looking for a job, I pray that God’s will be done and if this is not the job, that their faith will not waver. People are rejected for employment every day.

Until I started writing this blog, I didn’t realize how much I do pray for the saints that their faith not waver or fail. And as our Savior has shown us, there is a great need in the lives of Believers to pray for one another’s faith stand.

Here’s a good example…if you know someone who desires to be married and has been praying for a husband, don’t pray that prayer with her—pray that her faith doesn’t fail and she take matters into her own hands. Pray she stays strong in her faith in God, no matter what His answer may be. God does not say, “Yes!” to every prayer. And it is when, “No,” or “Not yet,” comes into play, we have a hard time. Same goes for one who wants to have a baby. Don't beg God with her, pray her faith not fail. 

If you're feeling fainthearted because you’ve been praying and it seems God has not moved—don’t give up! Call that friend who will encourage you. If you feel like giving up, reach out to someone to pray for you. But you don’t need 20 people, just one who knows you, loves you and knows God.

With the New Year approaching many of us will reflect on the past year and think about how we can make things better for the upcoming year. I say, “Let us purpose to read and study our Bibles more. Let us purpose to establish the best relationship we can with God.” Because my dear sisters, there lies all your hope and strength to endure!

Continue to pray and believe. Amen!

I will see you next year! Merry Christmas and God bless!

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Reaping What We Sow

It is common place (even for non-believers) to talk about reaping and sowing, and especially in a negative connotation. Let someone do something wrong or mistreat us in anyway. “They will get theirs! You reap what you sow!” Or as the world so loving refers to it as karma.

But you know what sisters, as Believers we should be focused on the good seed we sow and the great harvest we will receive from that. Not the, “I can’t wait until you get yours!”

Some of the best seeds we can sow are love! But it’s not as easy as it sounds. And I say this because in our humanness we have a very skewed conception of what love is, and especially in the English language. Love is used to express lust for someone—you have my love today—wrong me and it’s gone tomorrow. Love is something people fall into and out of at a whim.

But when God tells us to love, it becomes a decision and action.

We think that by buying or giving things we show love, but that is not necessarily love in action. It can be a tactic of manipulation or a ploy to control.

If I give him this, he will love me more. If I buy my kids the expensive things they want, they will do what I ask them to do. If I share with her, she will be a good friend. And then none of it happens the way we had planned. Why? Because our motivation was wrong.

Here’s what the Bible says love is…“⁴ Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. ⁵ It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. ⁶ It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. ⁷ Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].⁸ Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].” I Corinthians 13:4-8a (Amp)

Doesn’t sound like gifts or things has anything to do with love to me. It's a much more deeper and heartfelt situation of obedience. 

But it goes even further…“Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].” I Peter 4:8 (Amp)

Loving the unlovable is hard! But it is not impossible, because Jesus commands us to do it. But, we find it far easier to do for those who love us or when it makes us feel good.

This is the season when you hear a lot of talk about love, but is it really? One could say, “No.” I don’t think running people down when the doors open to a store on Good Friday, is love. Buying hot (stolen) items is not operating in love. Dropping toys off for the less fortunate and posting pictures on Facebook isn’t love. Giving and looking for something in return is also not love. Complaining when people don’t repay us in the way we think they should (not being grateful) is not love.

Truth is…love is practiced.

Love is a discipline.

Love is a commitment.

Love is action.

Love is obedience.

Love is forgiveness.

Love is not a feeling.

Love is not a debt owed.

Love is not something you can buy.

Love is not manipulation.

Love is being able to give your last to help someone in need and looking for nothing in return.

Love is helping to care for a father who raped you for years. Love is helping someone who is mean spirited and thankless. Love is seeing a person who has a need and helping them without telling the world and thinking they owe you. Love is kind, even when we don’t deserve it.

If you are someone who is lonely or doesn’t feel love in your life, I must first ask if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. If not, that is your first step to the greatest love you will ever experience—God’s great agape love. It’s a love that surpasses all human understanding. It’s a love for the forgiveness of our sins and a showering of mercy and grace. None of which we deserve, yet He bestows it generously upon us.

And if you are a Believer, it’s a good time to do a heart check. Are you loving others as God commands us too, or are you still loving like the world, with strings attached and selfish motivations.

Over the years God has blessed me with many people who helped support my ministry. Sending and giving aid to help the women and children in crisis I ministered to—looking for nothing in return. And even now when a call to help a family went out, love stepped up strong. Their lives will be changed and their young faith made stronger. That is what love does. It changes lives.

“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done.” Proverbs 17:17 Look for His repayment, not from those you have helped.

How’s your love walk going? Does your love harvest look like the picture above? Could it use some sprucing up? I know mine can. I don't think we will ever completely get it until the day of Christ, but we must work to make it a daily lifestyle, if we desire to please Him and God.

The world needs to see a little more of the Love of Christ, so they too may believe.

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Book Review for "Catch Me If You Can"

Book Review for “Catch Me If You Can” by Carrie Marston

This book grabbed my interest because I have a granddaughter who is in the 11^th grade and thought it might be something she would enjoy reading.

Initially, I struggled with how to approach my review of this book. Only because I know the author was a teen at the time it was published and had to take this into consideration—so, here goes.

To write fiction one must have a good imagination, and the author showed that she can think up a plot and end the story with a bang! I give her kudos for being brave and fearless to self-publish her first book at such a young age. It shows a confidence in herself, where most girls this age are very insecure in who they are, and what they want to be and do in life. And for that I applaud her.

I don’t know the dynamics of the book being published, but I’m sorry to say, “It was published a bit prematurely.” There are typos and mistakes in just about every chapter of the book. The characters could use a little more development and the details need a lot of work and rewriting. It is a first draft full of potential, but not a finished work. The homeschool mom in me wanted to have a long conversation about all the typos, incorrect auto corrects and mistakes.

Since the book was published in 2012 and we are 3 years down the road, I would like to see the young author revisit the e-book and put some polish on it. I can see she has talent and a passion to write and hope she is taking writing courses to improve and hone her writing skills.

(Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers (booklookbloggers.com) book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”)

Until next review....Ponnie

Book Reviews

Hello sisters!

I have some exciting news to share with you girls. I've been accepted as a "book reviewer" for HarperCollins Christian book publishers, through the BookLook Bloggers!

It's a dream come true for any bookworm such as myself. 

Every so often I will post a review here on a book of my choice and various interest. I just completed my first book and will post the review Tuesday.

Mainly my list is comprised of mysteries, Christian fiction, some spiritual help books and books for kids and teens. I can't always promise the book I pick is going to be a good one, but either way I have committed to write a review.

This next time around I think I will pick a couple of books and then pray over which book to read, especially if I'm the first one to review it. Tiny clue about tomorrow's review. ~Smile~

Have no fear: Friday's blog will post as usual.

Hope you had a wonderful day and a blessed and peaceful night. 

Blessings and Hugs...Ponnie 

Limitations

“We tend to limit ourselves.  Others can limit us. But in Christ we become limitless because of his provisions. God wants us to grow. He is our parent. And like any parent He is pleased when we take even wobbly steps.” ~Patsy Clairmont~

After reading this paragraph I was provoked to think about some of the limitations people had put on me and I put on myself? And the conclusion I came to is, often the limitations we put on ourselves has a root in those set by others.

A friend (who was very dark complexed), shared that as a young girl she would run errands and clean for her neighbors for change, so she could buy bleaching cream in the hope it would lighten her skin. Her sibs teased her and called her black bear and black bunny. She grew up thinking she was flawed and ugly. (She is one of the most beautiful  woman God has created.) But she felt limited by the view of others when it came to the color of her skin. That was until she found out who God said she was, and things began to change for her.

This was one of many limitations put on Blacks by slave owners. The lighter skinned slaves (offspring of white masters) became the house slaves and the darker ones worked the fields. This mindset that lighter is better has carried throughout American history and other counties. And even in our own families. 

I on the other hand, worked hard to prove I would be something (growing up I was told I wouldn’t be), and every time I failed or something didn’t work out, I felt deep down they were right. And when I became older I began to put my own limitations into place based on those lies. We all do.

Believing the lies of others damages us emotionally. Once a child is made to feel, unloved, stupid, dumb, unwanted, and flawed and of no value—things are set in motion that can shape us for the rest of our lives.

But, God, has a destiny and path for us as individuals and in that—there are no limitations beyond our own minds.

God tells us to do something, and fear holds us back.  Moses is a prime example.  He deemed himself slow of speech (his self imposed limitation), and even with God telling him, “I will put the words in your mouth.” it was still not enough. He wanted Aaron to go with him and do the talking. (Exodus 4:10-16) click to read

Low self-esteem is another culprit that’s in the business of imposing limitations. Our low self-esteem can be emotional, physical, intellectually or all three! Anyone of these can do great harm in keeping us from God’s best—but it’s not because He hasn’t made a way for us to move forward. It’s because of the limitations others have instilled in us and those we set for ourselves.

One of the biggest limitations we can put on ourselves is going through life not knowing what the Bible has to say. Our ignorance puts us behind those who do know and will always limit us in what we can achieve.

I had been told so many times as a child that I was stupid and dumb, until deep down I believed every word of it. One day while doing a work project (in my 50’s) I had forgotten something and said, “Ponnie you are so stupid!”  And the Holy Spirit said, “How can you be stupid and still have the mind of Christ?”  It was not in an audible voice, but it shook me in a way that it might as well have been. (At the time I was doing a bible study with Gloria Copeland on “our words” and as you can see it was staring to sink in.) “I can’t. It’s impossible!” I answered.

Maybe you grew up in a home where you were not wanted, unloved, mocked by your sibs, bullied, mistreated, pronounced ugly, dumb, stupid and of no value. You might have been used and abused. But in Christ, we are new creatures! That means in body, spirit, mind and soul. Yet, there is one small catch to all of this—we have to do the work to find out exactly how this new creature thing works and what it's all about.

I no longer speak badly about or to myself. I never use my words to confirm anything that goes against what the Bible says I am. It took practice, but I mastered it.

It doesn’t matter what life has tried to limit you to being—God says, something totally different. I don’t care what you have been through, or what you have done—the Cross covers it all!

Does this mean you buy into the foolishness of the world and think you can be anything you desire to be? No! It means you can be and excel in that which God has called you to be.

If your husband thinks you are not a good housekeeper or cook—you can begin to change that today!  You never finished high school and it’s holding you back—you can start changing that today! Your household is in an uproar because you haven’t been an attentive mother—you can also begin to change that today!

The truth is—we cannot study the Word of God too much! If we have time to watch TV, then we have time to get into the Word and learn how to unlock the balls and chains of “limitation”!

What is it you feel limited in? What limitations have others instilled in you that are not truth? What are you afraid of?

Come on sisters; let’s start taking some wobbly steps toward change. Just in case you didn’t know it—the sky is the limit in God. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Just So Darned Ungrateful!

“She’s so ungrateful!” “He just takes me for granted.” “No one in this house appreciates me!” “My boss never tells me I’m doing a good job.” “My parents don’t acknowledge the extra things I do!”

It has taken years for me to come to the realization that giving people the power to validate me, also gives them the power to annihilate me.

Because I was not loved as a child, I somehow came to believe as an adult I could make people love me, by the things I did for them. Yes, that is a very tiring and I might add, very unrewarding way to live. (It has many valleys and some mountains.) But my need and desire to be accepted and loved continued to push me to try and make it happen.  No matter how much the writing on the wall said otherwise.

With the Christmas holidays quickly approaching, there will be an abundance of opportunities for the enemy to make us feel that all our hard work was for naught and people really don’t care.

We will shop to we drop. Spend money we don’t have and so much more. And at the end of it all, someone, somewhere, will not thank us, not applaud us and most of all…will not be grateful!

I want to ask a question, “Do you thank God for everything He does for you?” If you answered “Yes,” you’re dreaming. I say this because we haven’t a clue as to what all God does. It is impossible to know what harm or danger He has kept us from and all the blessings bestowed upon us. And even in all the things we do know and see—we still don’t always thank Him.

When my youngest daughter started attending school in 8^th grade (she was homeschooled) I would pray over her and plead the blood every morning before she left. And one day the Holy Spirit asked, “When are you going to start thanking the Lord when she walks through that door every day?” Yes, I was guilty of making a daily request and casting my care for her safety on God, yet I still neglected to thank Him for granting, “Yes."

Do you thank God every time you put something in your mouth—lifesaver—gum—piece of candy? Do you thank Him every time you load the dishwasher, washing machine or dryer? Do you thank Him for your Dyson or do you mumble a little bit because you really don’t like vacuuming? See sisters, we don’t thank God for everything He does or gives us. And the moment we mumble and complain about anything, we are being ungrateful.

When you’re upset with your husband is your focus on the good he does, or what he did to upset you? Is your attitude one of gratefulness or scorn? The same goes for our place of employment. When we feel we are not being treated fairly or are underappreciated we lose focus of the fact we have a job and how God is using it to meet a need. And we most certainly forget how hard we prayed and begged Him for the job to begin with.

And when we choose (on purpose) not to handle a situation God’s way, we are really ungrateful for all that Christ did and went through on the Cross for us.

I think I’ve made my case as to how no one can be more ungrateful than us at times.

Personally, I’ve been struggling with people being ungrateful most of my Christian walk. Of course it has been in different degrees and has weakened as I grow in the Word. But even so, I still find myself saying or thinking how ungrateful people are from time-to-time. The good thing now is I quickly get an auto correct from the Holy Spirit, because the truth is—people don’t have to be grateful. I mean, when you think about it, they really don’t.

We train our children to say, “Thank you,” and tell them how grateful they should be when people do things for them or give them something. But gratefulness is an issue of the heart and we can only tell them, we can’t make them.

But there is one sure fire way to conquer the, they are so ungrateful syndrome and that’s by doing things to please God and remembering His mercy in our own ungratefulness toward Him. Yup, that’s how you become free from, “She’s so ungrateful!” “He just takes me for granted.” “No one in this house appreciates me!” “My boss never tells me I’m doing a good job.” “My parents don’t acknowledge the extra things I do!”

Maybe you spent the better part of your day fixing your husband his favorite meal and baked a special dessert and he never said a thing. It was business as usual when he got in from work. Now, you’re upset and the pathway to “He doesn’t appreciate me,” is wide open. But if you do it because you love God and you know it's pleasing to Him to show your husband love by fixing this meal, then you’re not so fast to feel taken for granted because it was all about God in the first place. Maybe he had a bad day at work?

When you do something special in your home and your husband or kids don’t notice; does that upset you? Why? Is it because you need them to acknowledge your hard work? But if we do it because we are grateful to the Lord for our home and desire to be a good steward over it, then shouldn’t that be enough? 

Yes, it should.

The same goes for buying Christmas gifts or any of the other million things we do for people. Buy it because you love them and want them to have it. If you have any other motivation other than that—don’t get it. No one asked you to get up at 2am to stand outside in the cold and shop the deals. Therefore, when their response to the gift is not what you wanted, don’t get upset…it was your choice.

As Believers, we are to work in excellence on our jobs and if our natural boss never compliments us in anyway, remember it is our ultimate Boss who sees it all and is our rewarder. 

Being grateful or ungrateful is definitely a condition of the heart… “Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life’s consequences.” Proverbs 4:23 (CJB) or a more familiar translation, “Keep your heart with all diligence. For out of it spring the issues of life.” (NKJ)

When we desire validation from man, it’s never a win-win. When we give power for compliments to lift us up then the absences or lack of them can pull us down. But, when we do it as unto the Lord (for God’s pleasure), then man’s attitude toward us is not what matters.

The next time you catch yourself saying or thinking, “They’re so ungrateful! No one appreciates the things I do!” remember God’s great love toward us and how ungrateful and unappreciative we can be when it comes to the things He does. It’s called, “Unconditional love”!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Tit for Tat!

I think we are all familiar with the term, “tit for tat” because somewhere in our lives we have been a tit for tatter. Or to put it more simply—petty!

Paul tells us how to behave as Christians and petty is not part of the scenario. In fact we are not to repay evil for evil and we overcome evil by doing good and a lot more. (Romans 12:9-21) click to read

For years when I read this scripture, I mostly thought of the big things people do or have done to me, but the truth of the matter is…all sin has little foxes in it.

Tit for tat or pettiness are the little foxes of repaying evil for evil. But the consequences can be huge, because it gives the devil a foothold and that always ends up poorly for us.

Years ago while in full-time ministry, my youngest daughter and I had to live with a younger married couple for a few months. It turned out to be my first experience witnessing how pettiness can bring unhappiness and havoc to a marriage. (Happy to say, they are still married and have a lovely family.)

Their house was a two-story home with a basement where the dryer was. It wasn’t unusual for me to find it full of dried clothes when I went to use it, so I would not only bring the clothes up to the main floor but I folded them. I was trying to lend a helping hand, since they both worked and had a toddler.

But because they had the problem of “You should do this because I do this!” syndrome, they would argue over who should take the basket of folded clothes upstairs to the bedroom. And it got so bad that they would take out what they needed and still leave the basket with clothing on the first floor.

Sin, has a way of convincing us we are right (even when we are so wrong) and blinding us to the blessings at hand. You see, they missed the blessing of the clothes being folded and one level closer to the bedroom, and especially the wife, because laundry seemed to be her chore. And needless to say the day she told me her husband didn’t like the way I folded his socks, was the last day I helped with laundry. 

Pettiness—keeps a record. Tit for tat—encourages you to payback.

“I’ve put out the trash the last three times.” “I wash your dirty dishes in the sink, but you wash yours and leave mine!” “You never clean the lint filter in the dryer.” “I always take the things you put on the steps upstairs, but you walk right past mine.” And as the record grows, so does the temptation to repay.

“Hum, that stuff can sit on the stairs forever; I’m not taking it up!” “From now on, I’m only washing my stuff in the sink!” “The trash can sit until it runs over and stinks up the whole house, I’m still not taking it out!” 

But this doesn’t only happen in our home lives, it’s in our workplace, family gatherings, college dorms and church.

Sin, is everywhere.

We can’t run from it! Can’t hide from it! But we do have authority over it.

To be petty or try to give as good as you get, is a spirit that controls a lot of saints. I used to be a very petty person. It would rise up the moment I felt I was being taken advantage of. (And don’t think I still don’t struggle from time-to-time with those feelings—because I do.) But as I began to grow in the Word, Jesus showed me how following His way leads to a better quality of life.

We have all had someone in our lives who is always asking for favors or help and the one time we’ve gone to them—it’s not convenient.  And what was one of the first things that came to mind? “Next time they ask me to do something for them, the answer is going to be, No!” Or we stop answering their calls for a few days? Yup, that is pettiness at its finest. We not only can feel this way about a friend, but also our spouse, and even our own children. Feeling used or underappreciated (self) can really bring up some nasty stuff in us.

The key to putting a petty spirit in a coffin and nailing it shut, “Aka” making sure it is dead and buried are to—do things to please the Lord—and stop keeping a record of what we have done or what someone else has not done. Obedience and love are key!

Take for example the couple I described, if just one of them had picked up the basket and taken the clothes up on their way to the bedroom, so many arguments and wrong attitudes would not have been part of their evenings after a long day at work.

Proverbs tells us a wise woman builds her house up, and a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. Therefore the wife could have looked at things from a couple of different perspectives. Even though her husband came home before her and would walk right past the laundry basket, she could have been grateful the clothes were folded and taken them up. And even if she felt her husband should have taken them up, a wise woman would have not wanted the argument and taken them up to keep the peace—for blessed is the peacemaker. And though she might have felt underappreciated and overworked she should have picked up the basket if only to please God!

One last thought on the subject—she was more than blessed that she didn’t have to spend her weekends or evenings in a Laundromat.

And yes, the husband could have so easily picked up the basket of clothing and taken them upstairs as well…but I’m talking to you ladies, so we will leave him to be in a brother’s blog telling men to how love on their wives and what have you. ~Smile~

But keeping a record of what she did and what he didn’t do became a source of contention for them both. 

Funny thing though, when I started putting their clothes back in the dryer when I was finished, they stopped arguing about the basket. The clothes just stayed in the dryer for days (not the baby’s clothing) and they would each walk all the way to the basement to get things they needed. Until finally the wife brought them up.

No matter how long she tried to hold out, she still ended up bringing them up from the basement and folding them anyhow. The trickery and illusion of sin!

We are not responsible for what others do. And even if you are in a marriage where you feel your husband should help out more around the house, or with the kids, until God changes his heart and mind, He still requires you to respond according to His Word.

You want to see God move quickly in your marriage or other areas of life—do things His way and it will happen!

I’m not saying your husband will change or your circumstances will change. But I guarantee you will change and start doing things differently, and that is all that really matters.

Sisters, let’s put our petty childish ways behind us, and be adult about things. When tempted to be petty in the way you handle a situation—let the Word of God and the Holy Spirit have reign and let your response be in love and obedience. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

What We All Have In Common

A week ago today, (Tuesday) a young woman (I’ll call her Doris) in my development committed suicide.

Around 4:10am, I was awakened by loud noises and a man’s voice under my bedroom window.  The noise was coming from an idling ambulance and what I thought one of the drivers talking on a phone. I didn’t think too much of it because there are a couple of elderly people in the complex, so I jumped back in bed, said a prayer and dozed off. But, I could still hear voices and a lot of commotion. I got up again and stayed at the window until I could figure out what was going on.

Finally I realized someone had passed. And the man talking was a police officer and not an ambulance driver, because it was gone. At 5:35am they wheeled a body bag along the path from the woods in front of my home. For a fleeting moment I thought of Doris, because men were walking up to her condo which was in the opposite direction, but I brushed it off. I found out several hours later it was her and she had shot herself at one of the trees in the woods. The paper delivery man had found her body.

The news grieved me deeply.

We met this summer one night while sitting on my neighbor’s patio. She loved walking on the side where the woods were. She shared it was a time to have some peace in the evening. As time went on I had the privilege to pray with her and encourage her in the Lord concerning the troubles in her life. She was attending church and had accepted Christ as her savior.

My biggest regret was that she had not come to the place in her Christian walk to understand all the Messiah had done on the Cross, and that she could be delivered from the demons that haunted her. To only be in her late 30’s she had lived a very turbulent life for most of those 30 something years.

A few days ago I had the pleasure to meet a woman (I’ll call her Amy) who shared her very hard life with me. She has spent time in jail for killing the father of her children (in self-defense of a brutal beating). There has been a lot of abuse and drug use in her life.

She also talked about how weighed down she had been with the guilt of killing another human being, and recently her pastor shared one Sunday how his father had killed his mother and God’s great forgiveness! Amy went to him with her story and as he laid hands and prayed for her, she felt the power of forgiveness takeover and the burden of guilt lift from her body! Now that is a testimony for sure!

An hour or so after this conversation, the subject of people becoming angels after they die came up. And as I was sharing with another friend how heaven really works and that is not true, Amy jumped up and said, “Well, my mother is an angel!” For a moment I was stunned, but then I remembered from our earlier conversation, she doesn’t really read the Bible.

How can one not know there is no redemption for angels and that God created Hell for satan and all the fallen angles, except they do not know the Bible?

How is it that Christians commit suicide because of hopelessness and demonic forces, except they don’t know the power of the Cross?

In trying to look through the eyes of someone coming to church looking for help, I would have to say that so many churches are failing, in the aspect of teaching new Believers the fundamentals of the Cross and salvation they need to know.

People who have been held captive by drugs and alcohol need to know that Jesus took captivity captive and that drugs and alcohol no longer have authority over them. Or any other sin for that matter.

We are hearing too many light weight congregational professions during services; we need to hear more of “I’m free by the Blood of the Cross!” “Sin no longer has authority over me!” We need to have the babes, say this every Sunday and began to wonder what does this really mean, versus having them looking for checks in the mail.

Please, I do not want anyone who has gone through a 12 step program to get upset about what I am about to say, but this is a program (though it has helped people), that goes against the Word of God.

When you go to an AA (Alcohol Anonymous) or NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting, one of the first things you must say is, “Hi I’m Suzy and I’m an alcoholic or I’m a drug abuser!” And even if you have been clean for 10 years, you will still speak this over yourself whenever you attend a meeting. That is what goes against the Word, because there is power in our words and to continue to profess day in and day out that you are still something that you are not, is not the finished work that was done for us on the Cross.

But we can’t put it all on the churches, because too many us don’t read or study the Bible, so we can know things on our own.

What is it we all have in common? We all have a common need to know the God of the Bible and exactly what the Finished work of the Cross is! Because this is where our hope and power for a victorious life lies. If we never, ever, receive a check in the mail, a better paying job or any of that other stuff…we all need to know what we have in Christ Jesus!

I shared these two stories today, because too many of us in the Kingdom are still struggling with the same old sins and issues in our lives. We are miserable, and in many cases feeling hopeless and living on half truths and fiction—versus what is truth.

Sisters it is time to grow up and experience victory in our lives! Times are changing and it is time to get into the Word, and share with others as you see them struggling.

As daughters of the King, it is our duty to spread the gospel of the Kingdom of God. Even if it’s only one person at a time!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Looking For God!

Many of us are familiar with the verse, “And I am sure of this: that the One who began a good work among you will keep it growing until it is completed on the Day of the Messiah Yeshua.” Philippians 1:6 (CJB)

A more popular translation is, “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (NKJV)

But what I’ve found is I can sometimes get so familiar with a scripture I forget its living and continues to deepen and expand in meaning.

After living the past 4 years in a house with my oldest daughter, 4 grandchildren and my youngest daughter (when home from college), our family dynamics changed drastically this past summer.

My oldest daughter moved and got married. My youngest moved to Honduras and I became a roommate—big adjustments for everyone.

Truthfully though, I thought mine would be the easiest transition of all. But that has not been the case.

Having strangers live with me over the years (at a moment’s notice) and living the past 4 years, with four adorable noisy (sometimes downright loud) grandchildren, I figured it would be an easy transition. Also, God knew I needed a well deserved break from it all and a nice quiet place to write the final touches on my book. This was going to be a piece of cake—so I thought.

Once my youngest shipped off to Honduras and I began to settle in, I found my living situation to be nothing like I had hoped or envisioned.

Old familiar feelings began to arise and I found myself wanting to respond in old ways.

While talking to my dear friend and mentor about my situation, I made the statement, “I thought God would give me a break.” “If you needed a break, then a break is what you would have gotten.” was her response. Though it stung for a minute it was the truth. We’ve been friend’s a long time, no more beating around the bush. She knows me well enough to know, I was on my way down the wrong rabbit hole and she was there to warn and help redirect me. (If you don’t have a godly friend such as that, please spend time praying for one.)

She reminded me there are times the lesson is not complete and a break will not come before God’s end result is achieved.

Since the feelings were familiar, it meant that something old was coming to the surface and I needed to take a look at that, versus looking at my circumstances around me.

Well, long story short—I am still having trust issues with God given the right mix of elements.

Though I know God loves me, I can still struggle with the reality of His love, especially when I feel He has put me in a situation (not of my own doing) that doesn’t seem fair or is not comfortable.

But here’s the thing—He’s going to keep working on the good work He has begun in us, no matter how old we get or how long we have walked with Him.

I had somehow convinced myself it was going to be smooth sailing from here on. After all—I had paid my dues—now it was my time.

Wrong again!

People are personality types that we can never escape. And God uses these personalities to help expose the hidden things of our hearts. Selfish personalities always remind me of my mother. Takers and thoughtless people do too. People who give under the guise of being generous when really in truth keep a record and think you owe them, reminds me of an aunt. Manipulators and controllers are also personality types who bring up old feelings related to my childhood. And as a child I learned to shutdown and cut people off. But as children of the King, He wants us to be free. Not keeping people at bay and trying to protect ourselves.

I allowed the disappointment of my new living arrangements to start stealing my joy and here lies the reason God didn’t allow a break. If things were all rosy and comfortable as I had hoped, I would not have seen this particular area that needs work and be able to make the adjustment.

Sisters, our joy should never be contingent on our circumstances and I knew this, but given the right mix of circumstances—I forgot!

I forgot to look for God versus look at the circumstances and how it made me feel. I forgot that God has already been in all my todays and all my tomorrows and has made provision for all situations.

Living the life of a Believer can be very challenging and at times hard! But, as long as we have the right perspective and the Word of God in our hearts—we will always come out on the other side of whatever it is we face in victory.

Disappointments are a huge part of life. We face them in our marriages, love relationships, with our children, jobs, friends, churches and even ourselves.

The best way to face and handle life’s disappointments is…

…look for God in all of them.

And without a doubt—He will be there!

Remembering that God is completing a good work in us and believing with all our heart, Romans 8:28, “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” is a great start!

But we just can’t pull scripture out of the Bible and stand without doing what it says we must do. If we are not reading and studying the Word of God, then how can we really love Him? It’s a requirement to get to know Him and know what He expects from us as His daughters. It is impossible to live a life of victory and one that pleases the Father if we don’t have any idea as to how it works.

Maybe you are in a place where you are finding it difficult to be joyous. If that is so, it’s time to change your perspective on the situation and look for God and the good in it.

The subtitle to Barbara Johnson’s book, Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy, was, “Pain is inevitable but misery is an option.”  And she was one who should know, she lived through a lot of pain and sorrow in her Christian life, but through it all came to know that for the Believer, “misery” is an option that we choose or not!

God takes our pain and suffering and uses it to grow us, so that we may not only live a victorious life here on this earth, but also help others do the same. We live in a world of sin and bad things happen every day, but He can use it all for good. We just have to keep looking for Him.

My living circumstances haven’t changed much and probably won’t before I leave. But I can rejoice because His love for me is using it for my good.

When life changes hit you hard, don’t forget to look for God and the good that is going to somehow come!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

Permission Granted

When I used to ask my mother for permission to go to the movies, bowling, or over a friend’s house, “No,” was often the answer. And I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and can do what I want!”

Yes, and at 18 I could do what I wanted and ended up doing a lot of things I had no business doing. (Well, that’s for another blog.) LOL! I gave myself permission to go for the gusto! Not really knowing any better at the time. But, life became serious and then I had to grow up.

With my first daughter, I still found time to read at night after work, watch a little television with her before she went to bed, talk on the phone and still get in the bed at a decent hour. But with my second daughter (another generation later) I found my days jammed packed.

My second go round, was a single homeschool mom working from home. I was overwhelmed to say the least. Many mornings you would find me on my computer doing work at 4am. My daughter got up at 6:30am to do her math, get dressed and read the sticky notes I left her, just in case I had a business call and she needed to keep working or make her own breakfast. We ate breakfast at 8am, so that gave me two and half hours for work, and an hour and a half to do the lesson plans for the day (I was always behind), shower, make my bed and get dressed! And I still had a full day ahead of me and I was already a little tired.

I was blessed beyond measure to have a friend who helped me see I needed to give myself permission for time for me. Because once we give ourselves that permission, we can then figure out how to make it happen.

On the practical side, most days we took an hour for lunch and the last half I went in my bedroom and shut the door. My daughter was allowed to watch a video or a TV program when she was younger. Sometimes I needed to talk to an adult, so I called a friend or I just closed my eyes to rest my brain. Fridays became half days for schooling.  I chose one Sunday each month where we didn't attend church. I slept in and did much of nothing. And I made sure I didn’t have to cook and refused to do any chores. Saturdays were usually always taken with art classes, school trips and sometimes work.

A snow day was a blessing (we still did work), because it was a day to wear jammies and not feel guilty!

But the best thing I did, was stop waiting so late to spend time with God. I stopped giving Him the end of my long and tiring day. I gave myself permission to put aside things for Him. I did what Pasty Clairmont encourages us to do, “Create within your day permission to be still. For it is there we hear His voice most clearly and find our own.”

And it was during those times, I learned permission to forgive myself, permission to love myself, permission to accept myself and permission to be free of other people’s opinions of me. 

When I look at the women of the Bible and all they had to do and they still got to have a Sabbath day of rest—I’m baffled at the lifestyles we as Believers live and never have a Sabbath day of rest?

All followers of Christ do not attend church on Sunday, but I’m going to use Sunday as an example because so many of us do. Sundays are basically not days of rest for women, anymore than Monday is. We still end up cooking, tending kids, going to meetings at church and preparing for Monday.

Women of the Bible had to go to the river and beat clothes on rocks to get them clean, and they were dusty and dirty like nothing we’ve ever seen. They walked to the well everyday to get water, milked goats, pressed olives for oil, grinded wheat to make flour, churned goat’s milk for cheese, baked bread, killed and pluck chickens and cleaned house while one baby was wrapped around their bosoms, and another holding on to their skirt. And they had everything done for Shabbat.

It's amazing that with all our modern day conveniences, we still find it difficult to give God time that is substantial. Something better than the end of a long day where we find ourselves reading the same bible verses over and over and just give up. “I’m too tired tonight, tomorrow will be better.” But tomorrow is just another repeat of the night before.

Sisters, our daily lives are so full of things to do; we are missing out on being still. And it’s robbing us of permission to relax, laugh, take a day off, and accept being imperfect, make a mistake without being devastated and just plain goof off once in awhile.

Life is serious business indeed, but it should not be joyless. It should not be all work and no play, but mostly it’s never to be such that it steals our time from the One who loves us most.

Some of us are miserable. This should never be the state of one who is a resident in the Kingdom. But you see girls; it takes purpose, determination and planning to spend time in the Word of God and prayer.

No matter your age, your marital status, ages of your children or family dynamics…if spending time with God is not a priority in your everyday life—it’s time to grant yourself permission to create time for Him. Amen!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie

We Are Not Extras!

Have you ever been or know someone who’s worked as an extra in a movie?

You can make up to around $300 a day, but mainly have to wear your own clothing, and if a woman, do your own makeup and hair styling. You show up ready to be in the movie. The only time they make you up or give you clothing would be for period movies, or zombie movies, etc. LOL!

And you usually don’t get to see the main actors (or stars) of the movies.

Being an extra seems like a good deal, but, that $300 a day is pittance compared to the money the stars of the movie make. Plus, they are lavished and pampered and get makeup and clothes. And if the movie is a hit, they get all the glory and honor.

I don’t know, but it seems that many of us as Believers see ourselves as extras in God’s scheme of things. We don’t think our part is big or important.

Extra…A background actor or extra is a performer in a film, television show, stage, musical, opera or ballet production, who appears in a nonspeaking or nonsinging (silent) capacity, usually in the background for example, in an audience or busy street scene).

We are bombarded with so many famous preacher/evangelist personalities that folks view them as the stars of Christendom!  And don’t forget the hierarchy of the individual congregations and denomination boards. We also see them with large roles.

Many church services consist of praise and worship teams, musicians, dancers, flag carriers and so much more before we even get to the Word. Yeah, we see them as stars of sorts too. And here we are, little old us, sitting in a cubby 5 days a week, doing the same tedious job over-and-over. No one really praises us, or gets excited to see us. Not like when Pastor Handsome comes out and the congregation stands, and the music wells up and everyone starts to clap. No! That’s for the stars and the stars only!

Wrong!

In the Kingdom of God, there are no stars and there are no extras! There are no fillers to make others look good. Nope! We all have a story...written especially for us. We are all considered by God. We all have a special part to play—in this thing called, “Life!” We don’t have to take care of ourselves and show up. He provides for all that belong to Him.

Recently a young man was knifed to death helping a young mother and her baby at a bus stop.

A mentally ill man tried to attack a woman and her baby, and a bystander stepped in to help. He was stabbed several times (enabling the woman to run and scream for help) and died at the scene. When they interviewed his friends there were so many tears. He was well known in the area because of his skateboarding. As I watched the story, it was heartbreaking and at first sight seemed so senseless, but then I thought, “What if that was his role in life?” Yes, his role in this life was to be there at that particular time to save that young mother and her child. What if that had been his purpose all along?

Wow!

To the natural eye, he would seem like an extra. Friendly enough guy, well liked, but out of work and trying to get himself together. Yeah, that would be extra. Not a real star—doing nothing great for others to see. But if you look at the fact that he gave up his life for someone he did not know—that is not the life or fate of an extra.

Just because we are only known or recognized by a few, doesn’t mean the story God has written for us, is not important. In fact, it could be so important that someone’s life depends on it.

We could live an entire lifetime and have just one purpose in life, but nonetheless it is still great!

Why?

Because it is what God has chosen for us.

Moses’ mother was here to give birth to him. The same goes for Samuel’s mother. They were not allowed to raise them, but their purpose was to give birth to two men God used greatly. Were these women extras, or did they have a most excellent role?

You see sisters, your kind and gentle spirit can persuaded someone to seek out our Lord. That coworker who has watched you day in and day out, and wondered what it is that makes you tick. The one who can’t figure out why you don’t lose your temper when mistreated? Why you are never part of the office gossip and complaints? Why is it you always have a kind word for those who really don’t deserve it?

With all the preachers and evangelist on television, the internet, church podiums and the radio—many are still going to be saved through a one-on-one interaction with a Believer. In other words, if it wasn’t for you—Sally may have never seen the light of Christ.

As human beings we like numbers. We like to count and give reports on how many (during an evangelistic outreach) gave a profession to Christ. Pastors get together and brag about how many people belong to the congregation they head. Yeah, we think numbers are important, but I can tell you—God is not impressed.

Look at David; he got in trouble for counting when God told him not too! During the wall of Jericho event, God dwindle the numbers way down. Why? So, no one could stick their chest out and claim it was achieved by the number of men. I would have to say, “God is not into numbers at all!”

Bottom line…whatever it is that you are doing in this particular season of life—if it is ordained and ordered by God—it has purpose and is a good thing!

If your life is only to make a difference in the life of just one other person—you have a lead role. And your reward will not be the accolades of men, but the declaration of our Lord, “Job well done, my good and faithful servant!”

There are no extras in the Kingdom. We all have an important and great role in God's end plan.

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie