I was hanging out and minding my own business the other day when, “Do you think competition is good?” dropped in my spirit. It sort of took me by surprise for a moment, but then I realized I needed to answer this question and in a thoughtful manner.
Competition: noun…the activity or condition of
competing. Synonyms: rivalry, competitiveness, vying; conflict, feuding,
fighting “aka” keeping up with the Jones.
In answer to the question, “I think it’s good when
businesses have to compete for our dollars.” It makes things much better for us
as the consumer when we have choices. If you live in an area where there is
only one supermarket then you are held hostage to their prices and with little
or no competition around, you pay more for maybe not the best quality or service. But, when we have the option of four
or five different markets all within a 3 mile radius…then it stands to reason
we will get more bang for our buck because of the choices we can make. So,
competition in business can be very beneficial. “Noun”
But not so much when it shows up in the workplace, marriage,
families, sibs, friendships, church and most of all with each other. “Synonym”
Have you ever experienced a situation where you found yourself in a competition, but wasn't sure how you got there? Let me give you an example. I used to be a breastfeeding
counselor at a major teaching hospital. My specialty was helping moms pump and supply milk for their hospitalized babies and make the transition to
breastfeeding before they left the NICU. During the 5 years I worked there I encountered an array of different case scenarios—from the best to the worst. So often new or expectant moms would seek out my advice. I
remember this one particular incident at a luncheon (with Christian folks) where a new mom was asking for help with a particular problem she was encountering. For some unknown reason her girlfriend (who had breastfeed her baby) began commenting on everything I said or suggested. I couldn't open my mouth without her letting me know in someway, she was more knowledgeable and knew better. I didn't know this woman from a can of paint—but she had somehow decided we were in a competition.
Ever had one of these experiences—or better yet, have you been the
one who started the competition?
Sure you have! And most of us can honestly say, “We’ve
started one too!” I know I have, and on more than one occasion. Why? Well at the
time I really didn’t know who I was? I let the things I did or had accomplished
define me. That was how I was raised—to work for the approval of other people.
And the only way to do that is excel in the things that we do. We start to wear
labels, such as…great cook, excellent baker, hostess with the mostess, (sic)
sharp dresser, great homemaker with a beautiful house, go-getter, smart,a gifted
seamstress, life of the party, generous “aka” pushover/sucker and mother of the
year. We work to be known and labeled as exceptional or something
people need or want.
And it seems once we get it in our heads (or begin to
believe the hype of others) we are good or gifted at something; we can easily slide
into a competition mode over the least little thing. It’s sort of like trying
to blow someone else’s light out, hoping it will make ours shine brighter. But
it doesn’t work that way. In fact most of the time it makes others feel bad and shines a
bright light on us in a negative way.
There was a season in my life where it meant everything to me
that people see how smart I was and the many things I had accomplished in the
business world. And then I got SAVED!!!
As I began to study the Bible and attend Women’s Bible
Study, the need for the approval of others started to wean as I grew in who God
says I am. I no longer had to prove that I was viable to society. This revelation and change didn’t
come about overnight. No, I must admit it's been a journey. But I can honestly say, “I am
free!” And it is one of the greatest experiences of life. No more insecurity,
jealousy, envy, or self-doubt when it comes to my sisters. Of course these
little devils still show up, but they no longer control or consume
me. They have trouble provoking me to try to put out my sister’s light in hopes it will make mine shine brighter. I know better, so now I do better. Amen!
Truth is—we can’t do anything apart from Christ—we can’t
have anything apart from Christ—we can’t be anything apart from Christ and we
can’t achieve anything apart from Christ! So, why is it that we compete against
one another? Not one of us has anything God didn’t make the way for. Nothing!
Therefore not one of us is better or more important than the other. God
gives according to His will and His desire—no more—no less…
…So, instead of trying to blow out the candles of others, we
should be in the business of helping our sisters find and protect their light.
We should walk in unity with lights shinning brightly so those in darkness will be drawn to us and the love of Christ.
My dear sisters, the next time you are tempted to blow your
own horn at the expense of someone else (trying to blow out their candle),
please keep your mouth shut. And at that very moment of temptation, ask Jesus to help you,
not be insecure, proud or mean spirited. If you desire to be a bright
light—obedience to God’s Word—following Christ—walking in love are the ways to
make that happen. Amen.
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