Things We Thanked God For Yesterday

A friend posted a poster on Facebook, which read, “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” It stopped me dead in my tracks!

For a moment I had to stop and think about what yesterday was like for me. Was it a day I felt close to God and all warm and fuzzy, or was it one of my bad days when everything and everyone annoyed me? Was I happy and pleased with life (grateful) or was I a bit on the whining side, complaining, seeing only the bad things of the day (ungrateful)?

Did I wake up glad for another day, or climbed out on the wrong side of the bed? I really had to ask myself, “What was my attitude like during the day?” I needed to take stock of what I would have today, or better yet—what wouldn’t I have?

I have never lived without these things, but for some reason I thank God daily for being able to take a shower, and indoor plumbing that works—so a working bathroom I would have. I would have the internet and computer. Not that I am so enamored with the internet, but I use them both for my writing and communication for business. I hate when either is down for any reason, so it has become customary to thank God when my computer boots up and the internet connects. I would have food…but how much more?

Suddenly it dawned on me, “Stop focusing on what you would have and start thinking more about what you wouldn’t have!”

It’s possible I might not have any grandchildren. I don’t remember thanking God for them yesterday—in fact I was complaining in my spirit about how noisy they were being. I was also a little miffed with my oldest daughter because she said she was going to do something and didn’t do it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t thank God for her; it was probably more me complaining about her to Him.

Though I would have a bedroom, computer, internet and food, I might find myself in a room without a roof, or on the grass without four walls.

There’s the possibility I would no longer have any friends? Did I thank Him for my friends who love me deeply or was it just the ones I’ve made on Facebook?

Would I be blind and unable to hear? I know I complained about noise, versus thanking Him for ears to hear. I might have even complained for a minute when the “High Def” froze for a few seconds while I was watching a movie, instead of thanking Him for eyes to see and the blessing to be able to watch movies.

Truth is….if God had decided to only give me that which I thanked Him for the day before; I would have so little compared to yesterday. The loss would be such that it could crush me. It might look a lot like that of Job when he lost almost everything that was dear to him.

I wonder if I failed to thank Him yesterday for giving me a new day, would that be the end of life for me?  No today for me? Hum!

Sisters we need to go over I Thessalonians 5:16-18, with a fine toothed comb and get serious about what it says! “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Anyone who knows me personally knows I do not like to dust!! I had to dust my mother’s house like a maid, and since I received no reward for it (not even a “Good job”) I started to despise it at an early age. So, here I am many years later, still talking about how I don’t like to dust.

Yesterday I had to dust and vacuum and I remember complaining to myself because my youngest left a few things out of order running out the house at 5am to catch a plane. So, would I not have all the furniture in that room? Or even her?

Today is my last day of saying, “I don’t like to dust!” It will go something like this instead, “Though dusting is not fun for me, I am ever grateful to have things to dust! I am grateful to be able to see the dust, and two working hands to remove it! Lord, I thank you!”

Sisters, what would you find yourself without? Would you be alone? No husband, no kids? Would you be sitting on an empty lot, where your house once stood? That car you constantly complain about (though it runs), would it be gone? What about the job you begged God for? Would you still have it or would you find yourself unemployed?

It’s important for us to get a handle on our “thanksgiving” and or “ungratefulness”!

On any given day, we can forget to be grateful and thank God. No one is exempt from having a bad day or days—that’s life! But when Paul told the Thessalonians, to give thanks in all things and all situations, he was also talking to us!

We can so easily get caught up in the problems of the day that we forget to thank God for the things we have. Truth is—there is something we can always find in life to thank God for—even when life is really hard.

I challenge you to take a moment and think about what you wouldn’t have today, if things counted on how much you thanked God yesterday. It will give you a better picture of all we have and maybe help us to not sweat the small stuff so much.  Amen!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

I Get No RESPECT!

When I see the word, “respect” I hear Aretha Franklin singing…R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take care, TCB—oh, sock it to me, sock it to me,” which makes me want to dance and brings back good memories of times past. But that is not always the case in the Kingdom?

Respect: noun—a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important or have high or special regard for…in other words, “esteem”.

Philippians 2:3b tells us that in humility we are to value or esteem others above ourselves.  

Being disrespectful is not always as blatant as your child talking back, or a co-worker using inappropriate language and or someone calling you out of your name. No, often it is a more subtle practice, especially in the Body of Christ.

A lack of respect often shows up under the guise of “opinion”. Two people can have completely opposite opinions on something, and neither is wrong. They can both be right in their perception of things for them. Or one could be right and the other wrong—but is that an open invitation to steamroll someone to make sure they know you’re right? Is that the respectful or loving thing to do?

No.

I used to be one who had to get my point across whether I was right or wrong. My false sense of pride tricked me into thinking I was right even if that were not the case. A couple of weeks ago I shared how there was a period when it was very important to me that people knew how smart I was and all that I had achieved. It was important because growing up all I ever heard from my mother was how “stupid” I was. So, my self-worth and value were wrapped up in what I did. In other words, “It defined me.”

Talking on the phone is one of my favorite past times, and most of my friends and I have very lengthy conversations. Our calls usually span 2.5 – 3 hours, because they are weekly or bi-weekly.  You might be wondering what in the heck we have to talk about if we are not gossiping? Well, there are a lot of things in this world to talk about without ever speaking negative about anyone, especially when the focus is on improving your own life. And I love that we have such great respect for one another. Do we always agree on everything? Heck no! But with mutual love and respect it doesn’t cause a problem. We can back down if need be and let the other have it.

It took time for me to grow into the place of mutual respect even if I’m not on the receiving end of it. As I learned what it means to esteem others higher than myself it became easier to back down in most cases. I say, “Most,” because I still slip up at times. J

We all have some type of insecurity or back story, which effects how we filter things. And everything someone says is sifted through their own personal filter. So, if we were always told how dumb, stupid, ugly or worthless we were—then that becomes our filter.  Example: Someone says to you, “Don’t you think you could have done that a little differently.” you might hear, “That was so stupid!” It’s all in how our filters are set.

This is why it is very important to show respect in how we deal with others, because depending on their filter, a person with a strong opinion—can tear down another person.

Facebook is also a place where we should practice respect and restraint with our comments and opinions. Just the other week, I encountered a situation that reflected how great things can turnout when we do that.

I ran into comments on the status of a friend that was sort of derogatory about homeschooling and Christians. I was tempted to add my two cents, but out of respect I didn’t and when my friend saw the comments she handled it very eloquently and appropriately because she knew the person, (it was her fb buddy not mine) and how to approach them. Therefore, no argument or hurt feelings ensued on my part.

As a mother of grown women, I struggle often with keeping my opinion to myself. It is not because I don’t think they aren’t capable—it’s the mother in me being able to let go and allowing them to be. For years it was my job to tell them what to do and correct them, but not so much anymore. Just as I would not tolerate my daughters being disrespectful to me, I need to make sure I am showing them the godly love and respect they deserve also. As mother’s we are not exempt when it comes to our children.

Have you ever responded in a short or curt “What!” when one of your children or husband called out to you? Letting them know they were irritating or bothering you? When we do that we are being unkind and disrespectful.

It’s also disrespectful to always have to have the last word. And we can be so very guilty of that with our spouses, coworkers, friends and even bosses.

Humility plays a huge part in us being kind and respectful when we feel or know we are right. It is humility that enables us to push “self” aside and value the other person and their feelings more than being right or showing them they are wrong. Humility is something we have to work on everyday of our lives.

Sisters, don’t be a bulldozer—we should never want others to feel, “I Get No Respect” from her. Let’s follow the advice of Wayne Dyer, “When the choice is to be right or be kind, always make the choice that brings peace.” Amen!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Have You Checked Your Image Lately?

The image we project can have a huge affect on our everyday lives. Ever go to a job interview in jeans with your teeth not brushed or hair uncombed? Of course not! That would be absurd if we had any hopes of snagging the job. We would want our perspective boss to see us as confident, well groomed and someone who fit their company image. We would make sure we were the whole package—checking everything twice before we left the house.

But it wouldn’t stop there. No, once we were hired, we would continue to work at projecting the right image, especially in a corporate setting where there was room to advance. Truth is many of us would work on whatever was necessary to succeed. We would expand our vocabulary; make sure to keep up with any new trends that would help us shine, and give ourselves a nice allowance for hair, makeup, nails and clothing. If need be, we would attend workshops, or night classes—to give us that little extra edge. And there is nothing wrong with striving to be better.

But I do wonder how come we may not work as hard at being the “Image” of Christ?

Paul tells us, “The older women are to teach (or instruct) the younger women.” And as far as the progression of life, that’s the way it’s been like forever. Some of our favorite dishes we cook come from recipes handed down for generations and we were taught at a young age how to make them. The old school way was hands on teaching and passing of the torch. Someone showed us how to sew, knit, crochet, clean house, wash clothes, iron, wash dishes, speak properly, and have manners and to read and write. But in today’s world you can go on Youtube and find videos on how to do just about anything.

But in the Kingdom of God we still need to be taught by example.

I’m getting ready to step on some toes, and that’s okay. There are times we need our toes stepped on, if only to make us stop and think for a minute. And that’s my purpose today, not to come off as judgmental or all knowing, but to make us stop and think.

Let’s talk about some of the stuff we are abscessed with on television—beginning with the show Scandal. This is a show about adultery and all types of sexual exploits. When I get on Facebook Friday morning my feed is full of remarks from the night before—and many are from daughters of the King. How can we be so wrapped up in such debauchery and everything that goes against what the Bible instructs? Why are we rooting for an adulterer to win in life? And get very defensive when people talk about the show in a negative manner. I have a very serious question to ask, “Can you envision yourself sitting with Jesus on your sofa with popcorn and a beverage watching Scandal?” During the hot and sultry sex scenes would you look at Him and say, “Oh yeah Jesus, now that is hot!” Would you make some of your Facebook comments directly to Him? Sisters, this is something to really think about.

And for those of us who watch the soaps, or the supposedly real housewives of whatever state you choose—can you see yourselves hanging out with Jesus watching these shows? Shows where women are fighting, disrespecting their husbands and cussing each other—a constant barrage of people (heterosexual and homosexual) romping in the bed. Would you invite Him over to watch them with you?

I hope your answers were, “No!” But the truth is—He is there in the form of the Holy Spirit.

Paul warns that just because we can do a thing—doesn’t mean it is profitable for us or others. We don’t want to be a stumbling block to anyone. I drink a glass of red wine everyday with my supper. But when I go out with people I don’t know, I am mindful not to drink. It’s not because I’m a hypocrite—I’m just concerned for my brothers or sisters.

Are the women in these shows the type of women we want our daughters or granddaughters to be? Is it our hearts desire they have such low self-esteem they would be on a show such as the Bachelor? Would we really want the President of the United States, to be an adulterer, carrying on a lewd and lascivious affair when he should be running the country and true to his wife?  

So many of our young women are struggling to live a holy life and abstain from sex outside of marriage, but feeding on shows such as these only hinders them in having a renewed mind. But they are not alone because many of our married sisters are feeding on this stuff too. These types of shows are very harmful in the fact that we begin to cheer on the wrong doer wanting her or him to win, and most often the seeds that seep into our hearts lead to discontentment for wives with their lives and husbands.

I know firsthand what it is like to struggle to live as God has commanded us. I was one who came to the Lord filthy with the ways of the world all over me. I know the challenges of turning away from sin and also the blessing of godly women to imitate and what they were doing versus not doing.

We must be extremely careful about sending double messages, because the babies in the Kingdom are going to follow and imitate us. And how can we help guide and instruct them if we ourselves are partakers of things that can so easy entangle them and us in sin?

If we expect to help the younger women follow Christ, we must be sure we look like Him.

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

May I Pour You Another Class of Milk?

 ^“11 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. ¹² In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! ¹³ Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. ¹⁴ But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” (Hebrews 5:11-14) Maybe Paul wrote this or maybe he didn’t, but nonetheless the author was trying to get a group of Believers (the Messianic Church) who were in danger of falling away from the truth to reevaluate their spiritual lives and wellbeing.

Sisters, today I have the same goal as the author of Hebrews. I hope to get us to reevaluate our spiritual maturity and what we need to do in order to make change. Amen!

The author of Hebrews was not talking to new converts (the true babies), no, he was addressing those who had been in the household of faith for sometime—years even! And that is who I am mainly addressing today.

In the natural babies cry and whine a lot. This is normal and expected. We understand this is their only form of communication for awhile, and as mothers and caregivers we quickly learn to read and understand their needs and wants.  Well, we can tell a baby Christian the same way. They whine, complain, and find fault a lot. But this is to be expected because coming from a world of sin and being used to doing whatever you felt like doing, is a huge shock to the physical and spiritual being in us. But just as babies start to grow and become capable of rolling over, crawling, and walking, so should we as Believers. Babies drink nothing but milk for awhile, but then we begin to introduce mushy solid foods in the form of grains, fruits and veggies. It is sometime before we introduce meat into their diet. First we wait for teeth to come in and they can chew without chocking. And last but not least we make sure their digestive system is developed enough to be able to handle it.

It’s the same in the spiritual life of a newborn Believer. It takes time to be able to eat the meat and throw away the bones on our own. As well educated and affluent as Paul was,—He still went away for 3 years to learn and get understanding—after his Damascus experience with Jesus. So, it does take time to find and develop our spiritual muscles. But it doesn’t take forever—well it shouldn’t.

We can gage the spiritual maturity in our lives and that of others by answering one simple question, “How do we handle people and stressful situations in our lives?”

Are you one who complains a lot to others? If you answered “Yes,” you are a baby. Do you still find yourself easily angered and unwilling to forgive? Do you keep a list of wrongs others have done to you? Are you having sex outside of marriage? Do you think its okay to lie? Do you repay evil-for-evil? Do you think it is okay to steal from your job—whether it is paid time or office supplies? Is your first response in handling a situation still led by your fleshly feelings? When given godly or constructive criticism, do you respond defensively versus listen to what is being said? Are you taking things into your own hands and then getting upset with God because they didn’t work out? Do you still think your voice is that of God? I think you get the picture by now. These are some of the things that show us we are still babies.

You might ask, “Why are many of us finding ourselves trapped as a spiritual infant?” Well, for one, we don’t study the Bible and we don’t do what it says to do! It is not complicated.

How can we turn things around?

Simple…go back to the elementary truths of God’s Word!

And listen to James—start being doers of the Word—not hearers only—and stop deceiving ourselves.

We won’t learn to discern the voice of Jesus if we do not spend quality time studying and meditating on the things of the Bible.  We cannot hope to build strong spiritual muscles if we don’t do things God’s way, no matter how difficult or hard it may be.

There is no excuse for any of us to not be growing in the things of the Lord in this day in age. If your church does not have a good women’s Bible study or you are unable to attend…there are good books to read and lessons on the internet.

Yes, there is so much out there one could be confused, so I am going to suggest Gloria Copeland and Joyce Myer! Why? They will help you lean the “elementary truths of God’s Word!”

I admonish you to stay away from the Paula Whites and Juanita Bynums of our times. Why? “But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil,” and as babies we cannot distinguish, so I’m going to help you at this time. 

My dear sisters, it is time for many of us to grow up and throw away the bottle. It is time to ditch the pull-ups and put on our big girl panties and walk in the confidence of the Lord! Accepting God’s will for our lives (whether it looks like what we wanted or not) and trusting He knows best.

Start agreeing with God in ALL areas of your life, and you will begin to see the drama and sin leave. Only to be replaced with peace, love, joy, contentment and gratitude! God’s way—is the only true way to live the good life on this earth. Amen!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Hey! Why Are You Trying to Blow Out Her Candle?

I was hanging out and minding my own business the other day when, “Do you think competition is good?” dropped in my spirit. It sort of took me by surprise for a moment, but then I realized I needed to answer this question and in a thoughtful manner.

Competition: noun…the activity or condition of competing. Synonyms: rivalry, competitiveness, vying; conflict, feuding, fighting “aka” keeping up with the Jones.

In answer to the question, “I think it’s good when businesses have to compete for our dollars.” It makes things much better for us as the consumer when we have choices. If you live in an area where there is only one supermarket then you are held hostage to their prices and with little or no competition around, you pay more for maybe not the best quality or service. But, when we have the option of four or five different markets all within a 3 mile radius…then it stands to reason we will get more bang for our buck because of the choices we can make. So, competition in business can be very beneficial. “Noun”

But not so much when it shows up in the workplace, marriage, families, sibs, friendships, church and most of all with each other. “Synonym”

Have you ever experienced a situation where you found yourself in a competition, but wasn't sure how you got there? Let me give you an example. I used to be a breastfeeding counselor at a major teaching hospital. My specialty was helping moms pump and supply milk for their hospitalized babies and make the transition to breastfeeding before they left the NICU.  During the 5 years I worked there I encountered an array of different case scenarios—from the best to the worst. So often new or expectant moms would seek out my advice. I remember this one particular incident at a luncheon (with Christian folks) where a new mom was asking for help with a particular problem she was encountering. For some unknown reason her girlfriend (who had breastfeed her baby) began commenting on everything I said or suggested. I couldn't open my mouth without her letting me know in someway, she was more knowledgeable and knew better. I didn't know this woman from a can of paint—but she had somehow decided we were in a competition.

Ever had one of these experiences—or better yet, have you been the one who started the competition?

Sure you have! And most of us can honestly say, “We’ve started one too!” I know I have, and on more than one occasion. Why? Well at the time I really didn’t know who I was? I let the things I did or had accomplished define me. That was how I was raised—to work for the approval of other people. And the only way to do that is excel in the things that we do. We start to wear labels, such as…great cook, excellent baker, hostess with the mostess, (sic) sharp dresser, great homemaker with a beautiful house, go-getter, smart,a  gifted seamstress, life of the party, generous “aka” pushover/sucker and mother of the year. We work to be known and labeled as exceptional or something people need or want.

And it seems once we get it in our heads (or begin to believe the hype of others) we are good or gifted at something; we can easily slide into a competition mode over the least little thing. It’s sort of like trying to blow someone else’s light out, hoping it will make ours shine brighter. But it doesn’t work that way. In fact most of the time it makes others feel bad and shines a bright light on us in a negative way.

There was a season in my life where it meant everything to me that people see how smart I was and the many things I had accomplished in the business world. And then I got SAVED!!!

As I began to study the Bible and attend Women’s Bible Study, the need for the approval of others started to wean as I grew in who God says I am. I no longer had to prove that I was viable to society. This revelation and change didn’t come about overnight. No, I must admit it's been a journey. But I can honestly say, “I am free!” And it is one of the greatest experiences of life. No more insecurity, jealousy, envy, or self-doubt when it comes to my sisters. Of course these little devils still show up, but they no longer control or consume me. They have trouble provoking me to try to put out my sister’s light in hopes it will make mine shine brighter. I know better, so now I do better. Amen!

Truth is—we can’t do anything apart from Christ—we can’t have anything apart from Christ—we can’t be anything apart from Christ and we can’t achieve anything apart from Christ! So, why is it that we compete against one another? Not one of us has anything God didn’t make the way for. Nothing! Therefore not one of us is better or more important than the other. God gives according to His will and His desire—no more—no less…

…So, instead of trying to blow out the candles of others, we should be in the business of helping our sisters find and protect their light. We should walk in unity with lights shinning brightly so those in darkness will be drawn to us and the love of Christ.

My dear sisters, the next time you are tempted to blow your own horn at the expense of someone else (trying to blow out their candle), please keep your mouth shut. And at that very moment of temptation, ask Jesus to help you, not be insecure, proud or mean spirited. If you desire to be a bright light—obedience to God’s Word—following Christ—walking in love are the ways to make that happen. Amen.

Until next week!

Love and Hugs....Ponnie