Children should be taught at an early age, they cannot say
everything that comes to mind. My 3 year old grandson is at the stage where he
can be very embarrassing in public. He has no control
when it comes to commenting on anything he sees. Of course he doesn't know any better. What does he
understand about telling a little girl her head is big (which it was and
probably due to some type of physical deformity) that he is being offensive?
So, we are in the process of teaching him that he shouldn't say things like
that because it makes people feel bad.
Once we know children are at this point in their
development, we must be watchful. When my now 15 year old granddaughter was
that age, I could almost always tell by the look on her face she was getting
ready to say something she shouldn't! We were in Target and while my youngest daughter
was in the dressing room trying on clothes, I was walking around looking at
other outfits with my granddaughter was sitting in the little people’s seat in
the shopping cart. She looked at me and said, “Mimi, men don’t wear earrings?”
Well, we all know that they do, and when I turned around to look at her, I saw
a woman standing nearby with a short haircut that was on the boyish side, and I
quickly whisked her away! Why? Because she was getting ready to point to that
woman, and ask me, “Why does that man have on earrings?” that’s why! LOL!!
Learning to think before you speak seems to be a lesson that
continues for years to come. It seems we get it on one level, but not others.
We might learn to mind our manners when with adults when we are children, but
as we all know—children can be very mean when adults are not around. And it
seems in this day and age they are at their worst. With social media, bullying
has taken on a whole new look and feel. Young people have committed suicide
because of the taunting and bullying in their lives. Words have great power!
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” says Proverbs 18:21a. In
other words, words can destroy and tear down or they can build and encourage.
They can hurt and cut, or be soothing and healing. They can be condescending,
prideful and sharp daggers, or soft, kind and sweet as honey. They can be
what we choose them to be.
There was a situation last week on Facebook where someone
was upset and put it out there in a post that came off being somewhat
ungrateful. I know the person and I’m sure that was not her intent—but
nonetheless that was how it read. I made a comment that maybe she should delete
the post and rewrite one of gratitude when she had time to calm down and think
about things. It seems a group of people came and helped her clean her house,
and she was upset that she couldn't find things, and that was understandable, but
Facebook was not the place to express her displeasure about such a kind act. Then
another sister-in-Christ told her not to delete the post and how as Christians
we should be more transparent and it was okay what she wrote. Truth is it was
not okay what she wrote…they were not words that built anyone up. If anything,
they had great potential to make the ones who helped her feel badly. Written
words have just as much power as spoken words—maybe even more. And I say that
because when written in a public forum, it has a bigger audience and more power
to offend and tear down.
Impulse...a sudden strong
and unreflective urge or desire to act. Acting impulsively usually
always involves sin or some type of regret after the fact. Don’t agree, just ask
the sister who has been impulse buying on her credit cards for years and is now
trying to dig herself out of debt. Or the one whose impulsive temper tantrum
damaged a friendship or cost them a good job! Telling your boss off usually
ends with being fired. Impulses are
emotional and always show up when we are angry, upset or not thinking straight.
If you are one who lets it fly when you are angry or upset, it is time for a
change. It’s time to start practicing, “soft
answers” which can turn away anger. It’s time to take a deep breath, pray
and stay off the phone or Facebook until you have calmed down. If you really
need to talk about the situation then call someone who will let you vent. But
make sure they will also be instrumental in helping you apply what the Bible
has to say concerning your situation. There is protection in godly counsel and
much trouble in listening to opinions.
The ministry of being quiet and thoughtful has much for us
to gain. And yes, as women we are communicators and love to talk, but we must
be very mindful of our words. We must purpose in our everyday lives to let our
words be uplifting and edifying to others. We have to be very careful about
speaking harshly about family or life situations on Facebook or any type of
social media. Not only can your written words have a negative and adverse effect
and hurt deeply, they are also humiliating to the people you are writing about.
You know that old adage about “putting your business in the street” type of
thing—that’s what social media is.
Spoken and written words are very powerful. They can bring
joy and encouragement to one who desperately needs them, or they can damage and
wound that same person for years to come.
Sisters, please use your spoken and or written words
carefully.
