Here in the states we just finished celebrating Thanksgiving Day and since it is always the 4th Thursday in November, Friday is also a holiday for a lot of people. So, many of us end up with what we call a “four day holiday weekend!” It is such a nice prelude to the upcoming Christmas Holidays.
Having a big dinner or going out on Thanksgiving Day hasn’t been my thing in a long time. I like to keep on my jammies, watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade (held in New York City) on TV and eat either seafood or Chinese for supper. This year it was Chinese. It’s something I really look forward to each year. But this year was a little different. Tovah, my 17 year old was invited over a friend’s house, and I told her she could go but she didn’t want to leave me. Now I’m one who really enjoys solitude and it would have been okay. But she did jump at the invitation to hangout at the mall for dinner and a movie on Friday evening with friends. That negated our going to the movies on Saturday, but that was okay too because I will go to the movies by myself in a heartbeat. But what I found was that I wished I had somewhere to go on Friday evening while Tovah was out. And then it hit me! God willing, she will be leaving in a few months to attend college, and I don’t plan on sitting home by myself doing nothing, so no more Friday evenings wanting to go out but nowhere to go.
My circle of single friends that I used to hangout a lot with has shifted a bit over the past few years. One friend is now caring for an elderly mother while working full time, another was killed in a freak accident, and the 3rd, has become house poor since she cannot make the overtime she used to. Hum, it hit me like a bolt of lighting, “It’s time to make some new friends to hangout with!”
When I posted that statement on my Facebook profile status, there were a few other single sisters who agreed. I’ve known for far too long that single women or sort of the last to be considered in many ways in the Church. For one we are a very diverse and complex group and we can’t all be crammed into a “one fits all” ministry for, “Single Women”. So, a lot of times, we are just left hanging. My next Facebook status was asking women for suggestions on places to make new female friends outside of church. Well, I received a host of ideas. I sort of disregarded the ones from married women who have been married for over 20 years. Sorry girls, but you are just kind of out of the loop…LOL! But I found it amazing how some suggested using the internet to join groups or even start a meet up group myself. I did peruse the sites they suggested, but that is not for me. And I’m not recommending this to anyone, and especially if it is not a Christian group and even then you should be very careful in what you sign up for.
I had a plan all along, but wanted to see how others would approach trying to make new friends. I think the first thing, is you have to decide what it is that you want. I’m coming up on a stage of life where hopefully I will be free to come and go. So, I want a friend(s) who have that same flexibility. We can make plans, but it is nice to be able to just pickup and go too. I love the live theater, and jazz. I’m artistic and attended art college and really do want to take a photography class or jewelry smithing class at my neighborhood Arts League. My neighborhood YMCA has Zumba classes (which are very diverse) but you must have a membership to the “Y” to be able to attend. Okay, so now I had to sit down and figure out what it is I would like to do, I needed to come up with a plan, on how to execute and put these things in place.
One thing I have learned this past year, and that is to make sure God is part of my plans. I had so many things lined up in my head that I would be doing in 2010, and He showed me, that nothing I had come up with was even close to His reality of how things were going to be. So, first I had to present to God that these are some things that I desire and if they somehow fit into His plan for things that would be great. But it would be even better if His plans are different too!
I need money for the classes and so now I’m about the business of finding out exactly what the cost will be. And then prioritizing what would come first. I live in the city of Philadelphia and we are rich in the Arts and one of our main theater houses has a program where you can volunteer to be an usher. Wow!! After the New Year I will contact them to see about becoming a volunteer for the upcoming 2011 - 2012 season. I get to see all the plays for free and should also meet some very interesting people.
Being an inner city missionary, I often feel more at home in a group of unsaved folks then at church. Reason being, I have an anointing that shines in those types of group situations. I am anointed to minister outside the walls of the church building not inside, so I am drawn to the unsaved and those in crisis. But back to an earlier statement I made, you have to have an idea of what it is you think you want.
If you are a single sister who wants to get out more and have fun, then you should put this before the Lord. And being specific helps, such as I know I want to see more live shows than I have the past couple of years. I have a creative side that always enjoys being feed, and I love learning new things. I’m not shy, and I fit into very diverse groups of people. But we are all individuals and so what is a good fit for me, may not be so for you. If you are a babe in Christ, maybe you should stick with finding friends in your congregation, or some type of Christian group setting for safety reasons. You want to be built up in your new faith and not tempted to slip backwards into things that will be harmful to you. But if you are like me, finding yourself sort of the square peg where the hole is round, you might need to look elsewhere to meet new people. Of course it seems that us Christians are everywhere (LOL!!) and even with the many outside classes and groups you can find, you will also find us there. So it is not a thing of not trying to find friends of a like mindset, but just looking outside of the box is all I’m talking about.
But above everything, if God is not the author of it, we can set ourselves up for failure or trouble. So, make sure you are putting your desires before Him and listening to His instructions and following His lead.
I would love to hear from some of you to see what you think about his blog, or please share how you have joined a group or found new friends.
Love & Hugs
Ponnie
Thursday's Blog: "Homeschool Thursday"
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