Thou Shalt Be Happy.......

At the end of 2011, a book called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin caught my attention. Ms. Rubin spent a year making changes in her life in order to be happy. Browsing her website gave me the incentive to make changes in my life immediately. Ms. Rubin gives a set of simple guidelines for anyone to make their own happiness commandments. In writing my own commandments, I realized that the majority on my list focused on internal happiness; otherwise known as joy. On her website, there is an area for readers to share their commandments to help and inspire others. I’m choosing to share my list with the dear readers of The Kitchen Table. Some of my commandments are serious, there are biblical based ones and some are phrases I found funny. I will offer explanations for a few from my list. I hope you enjoy.

1. Stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog! – This is a funny reminder to stop stress/ emotional eating. (smile)

2. No more stress, it’s not that serious. – A year from now, I will not remember what caused stress to my mind, body and soul. Therefore, I need to let it go!

3. Buy something nice (for me) or go somewhere fun at least once a month.

4. Let go of demons, leave the past in the past.

5. Hebrews 13:1-2 – “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”

6. Be grateful. In all things give thanks. - If I learned something, even in a bad situation, be thankful.

7. Don’t be afraid to “clean house”, negative people you’ve got to let go!

8. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. It’s not selfish, it’s healthy. Your happiness should always be a priority. #self-preservation - I saw this quote on Twitter and added the hash tag “self-preservation”.

9. Get busy in your purpose, gifting, or ministry. No idle hands.

10. Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. – Surely you think I’ve gone crazy after reading this one, LOL! This is a quote a saw on Twitter and I interpret it to mean: People are going to be who they truly are. Some people’s assignment appears is seemingly to dislike, disagree, and speak negatively against you and anything you’re trying to accomplish. “Haters” are what they do. Just like potatoes well, they potato, LOL! Hence the previous phrase (smile)

11. 1Corinthians 15:33 – Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – Just a reminder to be careful who I become intimate with on a friendship or relationship level.

12. You deserve to look as nice outside are you are inside. Eat right, workout regularly, treat yourself to clothes, accessories, wear makeup and get your hair done. Most of all, remember to SMILE!

Thank you wonderful readers for reading my list; my prayer is that those who needed encouragement or a “pick me up” found it and are inspired to create their own happiness commandments.



Until next time, Jennifer!

The "Little" White Lie......

What is a white lie and where did it originate from?

White lie: A minor, polite, or harmless lie, fib.
White has the connotation of being good whereas black has the connotation of being evil. This is indeed somewhat racist but nevertheless it's the way the language evolved. A white lie can be excused because it does not cause great harm. For instance, if you don't want to see your friend one day, you tell them you aren't feeling well to avoid telling them the truth that you just don't want to see them that day. The little white lie hurts no one and sometimes avoids hurt feelings. ~Ruth Campbell~

Sounds pretty good—right! Especially the part, “The little white lie hurts no one and sometimes avoids hurt feelings.” Well, I think that “little” white lies are very harmful. Why? Because the practice of lying is a slippery slope. Solomon tells us that it is the little foxes that spoil the vine and Jesus tells us how they trip us up.

Before Jesus got a hold of me and God starting straigthening some things out in me, I was big on the “little” white lies. But I didn’t stop there; I told the big lies too and thought nothing of it. That is until the Holy Spirit shinned a light on it, and at that time I could barely stand to look at what He was showing me. Why was it necessary? God wants us to be as much like our Messiah as we can on this earth, so practiced sin is not acceptable in the Kingdom.

Over the years (since being exposed by God) I have been put on the spot many times as to where the “little” white lie would be so easy and very less complicated, but then I’m reminded of what Paul says in Ephesians 4….In speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

In the example above by Ruth Campbell, why couldn’t you just say to the person, “I can’t make it today”? That is the truth in love. And as Believers we must be very careful with our words, so I would never claim to be sick or not feeling well and that was not a true fact. ~Smile~

I’m not trying to be preachy with brimstone and fire for a lying tongue, because in some cases lying is not always so black and white. But, I do think the “little” white lie is. Now take Rahab who lied and hid the spies Joshua sent. She was rewarded for what she did. So were the midwives who the king of Egypt sent to kill the Hebrew babies that were born males. They lied and said they had gotten there too late, because they feared God, and the Bible says God was kind to them for this. And if the truth be told, I would lie and hide a brother or sister (in Christ) who was going to be shipped back to another country where they would be killed by their family or government for becoming a Christian. Look at the many people who did the same for salves in America until we were set free and also for Jews during the Holocaust. I personally know a woman who was one of the many hidden Jewish children of that time. Her parents sent her to live with a Catholic family in Belgium when she was 8 years old. Her mother, father and brother were sent to the camps and she never saw them again. She had to pretend to be Catholic and go to mass and Catholic school. She was later smuggled into the United States of American….she is now in her late 70’s.

But the “LITTLE” white lie is for our comfort and not really the benefit of someone else and as Believers we must also be careful because we don't always know who is watching us, and that's our real testimony.

Jesse DuPlantis (preacher/evangelist) tells a story of when he was a young evangelist as a guest preacher one Sunday; a woman from the congregation invited him home for lunch with her family. She laid claim to making some of the best gumbo in Louisiana. Long story short, he went home with her and it was the nastiest tasting stuff he had ever had. She looked at him and said, “Now isn’t that some good gumbo?” He was more than tempted to tell the “little” white lie, of “Yes, it is” when the Holy Spirit spoke sternly to his spirit and told him to tell the truth. After debating with the Holy Spirit for about a minute he looked at her and said, “I don’t mean any harm but this is the nastiest gumbo I’ve ever tasted.” Her husband (who by the way had not been in church) slapped his hand on the table and said, “Finally a man who says he’s a man of God who told the truth!” It seems that minister after minister had come to eat with her family over the years and kept telling the same “little’ white lie of how good that gumbo was, when in reality it wasn’t. Her husband ended up getting saved, because he had an ear to hear what Jesse had to say.

My dear sisters, as you can see, “LITTLE” white lies are harmful and you may never know how far reaching. So, if you are guilty of telling what you deem as “Little White Lies” it’s time you stopped and started speaking the truth in love.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!


Look for Jennifer's bolg on Wednesday, "Thou Shalt Be Happy"

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

There is a part in all of us that needs inspiration to succeed and develop who we are. God made us to be imitators. But I guess the trick is to make sure that those who inspire you, are ones who inspire you to be more and not less.

February can be a month of the doldrums. It is midwinter for many and a time when cabin fever starts to set in as we wait patiently for spring to arrive. Lately I’ve seen a need for me to make sure my spirits are lifted this time of year and to mix things up and not be bored. What about you? Are you finding life a little complacent or boring? If so, what inspires you to do something different?

Over the years I’ve found that I can find inspiration in many different things. It probably has a lot to do with the maturity of my age, but also, I’m the artistic type. I love magazines! Why? I find them to be very informative, but mostly they appeal to my visual senses. They remind me there is a much bigger world outside of mine. Such as—ones with ideas on the latest décor, fashions, make up and new fragrances to try. They also help to remind me I should take better care of myself and keep my relationships alive and well. If you don’t have at least one monthly subscription for a good magazine, I suggest you get one. If you go online to the magazine’s website, you usual get the better deal.

You might be one who says, “I don’t have time to read a magazine.” I’ve heard that response often. But I challenge you to make time. One place to read is the bathroom. ~Smile~ So, I’m sure that in a month’s time you can finish a magazine. And find yourself inspired to try a new dish for supper or rearrange your bedroom furniture. You might even try a new facial product with a coupon from your magazine, or it could be something as simple as just finding pleasure in the articles and short stories you have read.

I also get inspiration from my friends. It never ceases to amaze me how a good conversation or laughter with someone can make you feel so good afterwards? We need each other to bounce ideas off, and be encouraged to make change. But most of all we, need good people in our lives who will tell us the truth about ourselves (with love and compassion of course), and at the same time inspire us to achieve greater things.

My dear friend and mentor of over 20 years, is one who can make me laugh and cry at the same time. We have some of the most wonderful conversations about the good ole days. But we also have very serious conversations about God, and His Word. World events and what time we are in according to scriptures. She inspires me to strive to be more like Jesus and read my Bible and search out who God really is. She inspires me in the little things like drinking more water, being active and to treat myself good! But most of all she inspires me to always Believe God!

We are all different personalities, yet we are all the same in many ways. There is something the Lord has put inside of each of us that needs to be cultivated with inspiration. So, again, what inspires you to grow and make change in your life?

It might be a magazine, or it could be a cooking show on the Food Network, or a decorating show on the Home & Garden channel? Maybe music speaks to your soul and can energize you when it is rainy and gray outside. The great blessing from God is that we have so many good things to choose from. So, I say, “Pick something!” Pick something inspiring that will give you a fresh new perspective about life and yourself.

I think keeping oneself inspired and motivated falls under “Self Love.” And I say that, because we need to be inspired and reminded to do things for ourselves. To keep “us” a priority so we don’t end up on the back burner or the bottom of the “to do list”.

My dear sisters, make sure you have inspiration in your life that will help you live life to the fullest and keeps “you” in the forefront.

A confident, self-assured woman helps others to feel the same way. She has an energy that fills a room on the upbeat. People are happy to see her and want to be around her. She inspires others to be all that they can be. So, let us work on being that confident and self-assured woman.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


See you next Monday!

Self Love.....Part II

Happy V-Day ladies, or should I say, “Happy Day of Love!”

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day of love, but somehow it has turned into a day for lovers, which by the way leaves a lot of people out. But that is the way of the world and all manmade holidays, but the good thing is…we have control over how we let them affect us. And besides, it doesn’t matter if you are one half of a couple or not, ALL women can use a big dose of “Self Love”!

When Jennifer turned her blog in last week, I was very excited to say the least. Because I could really relate to the things she was saying and felt many other women would too. And though I have walked in Jennifer’s shoes of having anxiety attacks when spending money on myself, I am glad to say that is not the case at this time. Which is kind of amazing because it means I’ve gotten to the point in life that I know I deserve things and its okay to think about myself?

I started loving on me back in November of last year when I realized I had been neglecting myself for well over a year. I started with simple things like drinking more water each day, eating more whole grains, moving around more and cutting a lot of junk and sugar out of my daily diet. But January was the “I’m gonna give it all I got” starting point!

I celebrated my birthday from January 4th to February 4th! I brought it in with a bang and went out the same way. I was both practical and not so practical. In other words I tried my best to find balance in how I spent my money. ~Smile~ For starters I replenished all my vitamins (which had run out months ago), and my facial cleansers. It is the little things like these we should stay on top of because they affect our health and over all attitudes about ourselves. I even purchased a yoga matt and one of Jane Fonda’s latest exercise videos. When I went food shopping I stocked my cabinets with healthy snacks, nuts and other goodies so I wouldn’t over eat or eat a lot of the wrong things.

Now you know the practical side, so let’s look at the not so practical. I bought a ring, books, CD’s (I love my music) and a DVD. I was also given several DVD’s on my birthday, along with jewelry, and money. Before my move in the fall I let all my magazine subscriptions expire, so as part of celebrating me I renewed 3 of them for 2 years each! But my splurge gift to me was a Dooney and Bourke pocketbook! That’s right girls—that was my special treat. And you know what Jennifer was also inspired to buy one! I must say, “We really love them!!”

My new ring inspired me to make sure I used my cuticle oil every night (well, most nights..LOL!!); I’ve started taking better care of my face since I’m restocked on facial cleansers. But I didn’t stop there….I needed a new fragrance. I love smelling good for me. I didn’t buy any clothes, because I’m looking forward to the spring and buying new pieces then, but I am focusing on making myself a high maintenance woman on my terms. That means that I don’t plan to do all my pedicures and manicures myself. Here and there someone else is going to do it for me. I no longer plan to use old makeup, which for health reason should have been thrown out years ago. When we hear the phrase “High Maintenance” we think…money, money, money!! But it really just means taking better care of yourself like Jennifer said yesterday, it can be as inexpensively or expensively as you like or can afford.

Here’s a comment posted on Jennifer’s blog yesterday: "I read the title of the post and had a bath with a delightful, delectable "Phoenix Rising" bath bomb from Lush. It was amazing - just watching the bathwater change colour and the smell. Because I quit smoking on Valentine's Day, 23 years ago, I always do something just for me - this year it was a bottle of "Daisy" by Marc Jacobs. This was the first time I've bought perfume for myself”……Now this is what we’re talking about!

Self love is to love you inside and out. It means you make time for yourself on a regular basis. I love to read for enjoyment, and if you feel the same then make sure you eke out some time each day just to read, or be quiet and listen to music.

We all have different needs, but one thing we all have in common is that we all have the need to care about ourselves.

Yesterday Jennifer posted pictures of herself on Facebook after her makeover. She was Hot! LOL!! She is a beautiful young woman without makeup, but as she said, she just wanted the makeup because it made her feel good! It is her way of “loving on Jennifer”!

So, I’m with Jennifer…”What do you need to do as an act of self love? What is Valentine’s Day (the day of Love) going to mean to you? We shouldn’t depend on others to make us feel beautiful or worthy. The Blood of Jesus has taken care of that, so what are you going to do to celebrate you? Whatever it is my dear sisters….have fun!!



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


See you next Monday!

SELF LOVE......

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that stirs up many emotions in women. As a teen, I felt hopeful, in my 20’s I felt dread, my early 30’s brought on a feeling of numbness and now that I’m entering my late 30’s and still single my focus has shifted. It’s time for “Self Love”. So I ask this question: What are you going to do for yourself this Valentine’s Day?

As women we often put our needs and desires last. Single women focus on their career, ministry, family and friends. Mothers often focus on the needs of the children and wives tend to their husbands first. It is very easy to neglect yourself in the name of love. Just today I went shopping to buy things I needed for the house, new bedding and a few goodies like DVDs and in the middle of the store aisle, my heart began racing, and my stomach and head started to hurt. I recognized that these sudden symptoms were not the beginning of a virus but due to me spending money on myself. Can you believe it? My physical symptoms were brought on because I began to think about the money I was about to spend and I hadn’t even made it to the checkout. LOL!

I actually began some internal dialogue in the middle of the store: “Self, I'm no longer denying or depriving myself of things I need or want. Taking some Excedrin and keeping it moving!” :) For me, I will drag my feet about spending money on things I need; it’s pretty sad, I will wait until things have almost fallen apart before I buy something new. You would think I lived through the Great Depression of the 1930’s! In fact, I’m writing this blog in a favorite shirt of mine that has a few holes in it. So my challenge is to do something nice for myself that’s non food related. I have decided I will go to a cosmetic store, have a makeover and purchase some makeup. I can’t stop there! I am the type of woman who wears lip gloss for a special occasion instead of daily. I will commit to wearing makeup daily; not because I feel I need to cover up something but just to brighten my day.

My question to you, wonderful readers is: What do you need to do as an act of self love? Do you need to buy some clothing or goodies like me? Maybe you haven’t been to the movies or to a show in a long time? Have you been holding back on fixing or buying a particular meal because you’re the only one in the family that likes it? When was the last time you had some quiet time to read a book or give yourself a manicure or pedicure? As you see, you can make this as costly or inexpensive as your budget allows. So I challenge you to do something nice just for you on Valentine’s Day and at least one day a month. Are you up for the challenge? I know I am.

In parting, I will leave you this quote from Oscar Wilde: “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”



With sisterly love, Jennifer!


Ponnie will continue Part II of "Self Love" tomorrow. Hope to see you then.