A Foolproof Way…Not to be Pulled into Other People’s Messes!

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of confusion and wondered, “How in the heck did I get here?” I think we all have at one time or another. It’s part of life. But as always, the Bible shows us how to avoid such situations.

Gossip, rivalry and being braggadocious, are behaviors that are most certainly high up on the list of things we shouldn’t be doing as Christians…for sure.

I’ve chosen the above three, because we can easily be swept up in them before we know it.

My youngest (now 23 years old), attended a Montessori school for first grade. And one day while standing in the yard waiting for dismissal, I found myself having a conversation with the mother of one of her classmates. She started bragging on how well her daughter could read. Well, when my daughter was tested to get into the school (at the time in kindergarten) she was reading and comprehending on a 3^rd grade level. So, do you think I let her get away with bragging on her daughter like mine was nothing? Nope! And her response to me was, “Well, she reads the newspaper!” It was at that very moment when the Holy Spirit asked me, “What are you doing?”

At the time, I was studying, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (NIV), which translates into the fact that we can do nothing about from Christ, be nothing apart from Christ, have nothing apart from Christ, and achieve nothing apart from Christ! Therefore, He really wanted to know what I called myself doing. And especially with a woman who didn’t know the Lord?

From that day forward, I have tried my best to never get caught up in bragging about anything, especially my kids or grandchildren.

But this is not the case for many of us. Mostly because we believe what the World has to say about self-worth and value…we brag about our accomplishment and those of our family. And a prideful heart gives us a false sense of wellbeing.

Last Christmas Eve, I ran into a minister I knew (from a church in the city I had belonged to), at the supermarket, . He has always been a kind, gentle and humble man. And that is why I was dumbfounded, when he held me captive for about 10 minutes bragging on his daughter and her accomplishments in college. And not one time, did God get the glory.

Yes, bragging on anything that God is not the center of—is very dangerous territory for us.

“So if you want to brag, do what the Scriptures say and brag about what the Lord has done.” I Corinthians 1:31, ICB (see Jeremiah 9:24)

And the way to not be dragged into a bragging match is to study the above scriptures, until you believe them and agree with every word and understand how this applies to your life. At that point you will know deep in your heart bragging on any accomplishments as your own, is fruitless and more than likely has a root of pride.

Just as bragging is a sneaky little devil and will trip you up before you know it—rivalry is its mirror twin.

You belong to a book club and everyone has to bring a dessert. You bring your momma’s award winning pound cake. And bam! One of the other women comes up to you and says, “Well, I guess we will have to see whose is the best,” as she points to hers.

Now all of a sudden you are beginning to have some kind of feelings about her statement. You might even say to yourself, “Well, of course mine is going to be better!” And you know what, it just might! But there is still a heart issue in both of you. 

What is the correct response to someone like this? I personally like to ask them, “Why?” “Why do we have to see if one is better than the other?” “I made this cake out of love and I pray it will be enjoyed.” The "why" usually gives reason for pause?

I chose pound cake because I have a recipe for a sour cream rum pound cake that’s a big winner and ususally one of the first things to go. But I feel the minute I decide to brag on how good they are, would be the time it came out dry and some main ingrediant missing. And there is nothing worse than dry pound cake. ~Smile~

When I cook and bake for others, it is out of love and a desire to give something to someone else. And on the days I don’t feel like doing it—I don’t! I can no longer be manipulated or challanged into doing things I don’t want to. The Holy Spirit is the only to change my mind, and when that happens, I know it’s going to work out fine.

And yes, it has taken a lot of work and time for me to arrive at this point. You see, the old slef, was the one that once you brought the competition to my door—I wanted to not just beat you, but slay you! But praise God I am FREE from that foolishness and mess!

Knowing who we are in Christ and assured that every good and perfect gift comes from God (including being a fantastic baker), there is never a need to be sucked into a rivalry, competition or comparisons—especially with another sister-in-Christ. 

Pride…is an ugly and dangerous devil if ever there was one. The Bible tells us God hates pride and it’s an abomination unto Him. It blinds and deceives us. It causes us to hurt, mistreat and offend others. It’s mean spirited to the core.

Here’s a quote from Mother Teresa, which really sums it up…“If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.”

In other words...it doesn't make one bit of difference...either way!

Now a gossiping tongue can ruin a life and reputation. Gossip can cause so much hurt and pain, and irreparable damage. How do we not get sucked into gossip? Address it immediately!

I called a good friend and spiritual sister of mine to vent one day. She’s a good one to vent to because she helps me look at whatever is going on throw the lens of the Bible. (We all could use women like that in our lives.) And midstream, she just said, “I have to go!” We never end a phone conversation like that. Even, when she really might have to go, it is in a different tone and some explanation. But praise God, I didn’t just let her go, and asked “What’s wrong?” She shared I was dogging the person I was talking about. I had left the page of venting about what they had done that day, onto every wrong I could think of over the past 5 years.

Sometimes in order to protect yourself, you might have to just cut off the conversation, but I personally think you should speak up to the person. (If they bring it to your door then you have the right to speak on it.) Often we think we are okay in what we are doing, when in fact we are not. But, if no one is bold enough to tell us, how will we know?

One thing I learned in counseling is changing the focus to the one talking. If a woman is talking about how someone hurt her, instead of listing to the list of offenses (and especially since the other party is not there), it’s best to turn the focus on why she is hurt. And maybe look at the part she played in it. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. It all depends on the person involved. Some of us, no matter what, can make sure the focus goes back to the one who has wronged us.

If someone calls me under the guise of praying for someone but really wants to gossip, I call them on it! Either they accept responsibility and see what they are doing or they move on.

Recognize gossip immediately for what it is and act accordingly. Maybe you might have to just get off the phone or excuse yourself if in person . Maybe you will have the opportunity to address it, or can help the individual see it from a different perspective of compassion and love. But no matter what method you use—be quick about it.

You see sisters, the more we are in tune with Christ and know exactly who we are in Him; the less we are pulled into other people’s messes. There is no need.***

Is this easy to achieve? Not necessiarly because it has to become a lifestyle. It’s not something you study, get and move on. It’s a continuous growth process in our lives and a big part of spiritual maturity.

Making Jesus Lord, studying the Bible and being obedient to what it says…is the foolproof way to make sure you no longer are the mess, or get pulled into someone eles's mess. 

Either way, the payoff is freedom and a chunk of the good life. Amen!

***And this includes all the mess on Facebook and twitter concerning the new President elect. 

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

5 Simple Steps to a Successful Christian Life

Successful…wealthy, affluent, prestige and position.

This might translate into…owning your own business or making at least a six figure or higher salary. Which in turn provides you with the opportunity to have a big house, new car, latest clothes, private school for the kids, money in the bank, good retirement fund, vacation of choice every year, and great health and dental insurance. 

Everyone in the house has at least two electronic devices and when it’s cold outside your home is always warm and when it’s hot outside, your home is always cool. You are able to employ people to clean your house, take care of the pool and landscaping. In today’s society, you can easily have a personal shopper, chef and driver with the tap of a phone App, if you have the money. 

What you just read is the World’s standard of successful. And it all has to do with money.

In fact you can scratch everything you just read as far as it pertaining to what a successful Christian’s life is. I’m not saying there aren’t wealthy, affluent and rich Christians—because there are plenty! But it still doesn’t mean they are living a successful Kingdom life.

Also I hope you will not be too disappointed in my misleading title…there are no 5 Steps! But this is really good news.

It’s a writing ploy to draw you in. In fact, I really don’t like books which have steps to God or prayer, or too much more. If you search the Bible, you will see—there’s no such thing as steps to God. So, please forgive me for toying with you this morning. I just couldn’t resist. ~Smile~

A successful Christian life, takes work and making Jesus, Lord of your life.

Yup. That’s it!

No aptitude test. No internship. No college tuition or finical debt required. No hoops to jump through. No unreasonable demands you must adhere too and nothing that will test your integrity or put you in harm’s way.

Wow! We only have to make one more decision beyond salvation…Lordship.

Let’s say there’s a particular college you have your eye on and it promises you will have great success in whatever field you choose, if you earn a degree with them. You believe them, so you beg, borrow and beg some more to get this degree. Some would forsake family and friends and work a second job to make it happen. And if it takes you five years versus the average four…that’s okay too. You have a promise—your hard work and money are going to pay off—big time!

Now on the other hand, Jesus says, “If you love me you will obey my commands.” “Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.” “They will know you belong to me by the way you love one another.” “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” And the big payoff for making Him Lord, and obeying His commands…we have the promise of knowing His voice and being counted as sheep on Judgment Day!

We are also assured peace on this earth that surpasses all understanding. But He instructs we must first forgive those who abuse and mistreat us. In fact, He takes it one step further and says we have to pray for them. And in doing this we have the promise that God will forgive us, just as we forgive others.

Our Lord is also big on us helping others. In fact, He will reward us generously because when we feed the hungry, visit the sick, clothe the naked and visit those in prison…we have done it for Him. (Well, as long as He is Lord in our lives we do it for Him.) Wow! Are you getting excited about this?

God also promises to supply all that we have need of through the Messiah—our Lord! And Peter gives us the secret to contentment—we can do all things through Christ who is our strength!

James lets us know that if we lack wisdom—all we have to do is ask God. And He is going to not only give us the wisdom we need, but He’s going to lavish us with it!

And all we have to do to acquire all of this and more is to read and study the Bible...at our leisure. Yet so many of us don’t.

We will turn our lives upside down for four years or more to get a title and piece of paper man says has value. But, we don’t see the value in spending just 30 minutes a day perusing what it is our Lord, says we must do to be successful as a Believer.  

This is why so many in the Body are sad and downtrodden about life.

Yes! Life is hard! But, we are still to be victorious and triumphant! We are to be light to this sad, sinful dark world. But it is impossible to entice others to our Savior, when they don’t see Him in a good light, in us.

You see sisters, a successful Christian life is one where life is hard, but you don’t lose faith in God! It’s when people know you are going through a difficult time, but see you continue to have a joy and peace about you. Or when they hear of some tragedy or experience you encountered, but never knew what you were going through, because you were always joyous!

God’s joy and peace does not mean we will always walk around laughing, grinning and smiling all the time. But it does mean we won’t be a poor example of God’s empowering grace, love and faithfulness. It’s the peace the bible says, we will have…in the natural it will surpass all human understanding. That’s the power of God.

Anything you are experiencing in your life today…there is a solution in the Bible. But we must first makeup our mind, to believe that it is. And I tell you it is, because I’m a living witness!

It has taken years for me to get to the place of confidence I have in the Lord and His faithfulness today. But the day, I made Jesus; LORD…was the day things really changed for me. It didn’t take away the troubles I had or the consequences I had to suffer for my sin and dissidence. No. But it opened the doors for me to stop making poor decisions, forgiveness, healing (physically, emotionally and spiritually), confidence and hope. But most of all, I finally know who I am, based on who God says I am. I know that there is purpose to my life. And when things come up (which trust they are), I no longer panic and worry about what I’m going to do? Or question if God is there or still loves me.

I know He does.  

Also sisters, the more time we spend with God and focus on living a life to please Him, the more we are prepared when life unscripted shows up. The more you are at peace knowing God is working it together for His good—somehow.

I purposely didn’t give the scripture references to the things I shared from the Bible. If you know them fine. But if you don’t, I gave key words for you to look them up and read it for yourselves.

A successful Christian life is accessible to every Believer! But it’s up to you to obtain it.

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie