An Insecure and Needy Woman is as Attractive as a Flabby Underarm

With my new weight loss, I’ve recently noticed a flabby, saggy dangle under my left arm. I have it on both, but for some reason it’s more pronounced on the left arm. My initial reaction was, “Yikes!” But then I started swinging it back and forth and showing my youngest daughter, while laughing. All she did was shake her head and roll her eyes. LOL!

Once I realized things are going to start sagging with my weight loss, I sort of looked at my options. First I had to question, “Do I like it? And if not, is there something I can do to change it?” The answers were—no, and yes! No, I don’t like it, and yes, there is something I can do to change it! But for now—do I cover up my arms or do I embrace them?

I made the decision to embrace them. And it was an easy decision because I am no longer an insecure woman. I no longer give into the opinions of the world or people. I am FREE!

Thing is, I wasn’t always so free in spirit and in heart. No, I was about as needy and insecure as they come.

“Emotional insecurity or simply insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable or inferior in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one’s self-image or ego.” (As defined by Wikipedia)

Personally, I think insecurity and low self-esteem are BFF’s! And when they throw a party, their posse of buddies, envy, competition and jealousy always show up! But there is one friend who is more dangerous than any of them and that is the alpha of the pack…manipulation!

Manipulation causes one to be unscrupulous! We often lie or stretch the truth to get our way and be in control. We become clever in our dealings and very skilled with time. There are quite a few bible scriptures that refer to manipulative practices and how they are sinful, take Romans 16:17-18 for example. More often than none, we use words to manipulate, but things and money are clearly a close second.

How to manipulate others was a skill passed down like good cooking was. Mostly by an aunt I spent a lot of time with growing up. She was a master at it. But my mother not so much—she just demanded what she wanted. So, there was a balance of sorts which helped me not to go all the way to the left with my aunt because of the way my mother handled things. For instance, my aunt feigned being sick to get attention and her way. There were times she even encouraged me to do it. But my mother was a LPN and she didn’t go for the foolishness of pretending to be sick when you weren’t. As strange as it may seem, that was my balance.

As I look back, not only was I taught how to be a manipulator, but was also manipulated to the point of rebellion as a young woman. My family was so used to making me do what they wanted, that when I started to say, “No!” they declared war on me.

Truth is, I thought I was above their tactics. Turns out—I wasn’t! I just had my own brand of manipulation. We all do until we begin to see things from God’s perspective.

What I’ve learned over the years, is to let my nay, be No! And my yah, be Yes, to the manipulators.

Yes, it has taken work to get here and there are times I run into folks where I find myself being pulled back and forth with…but not for long. The Word, “Let us not become entangled again in the things we have been set free from,” speaks to my heart.

Being insecure caused me to not be truly happy for others. It kept me in a state of fear that I was not good enough for God or people. And that was the catalyst for working daily at manipulating people and my life events.  

 Stupid…right?

Yes!

But being insecure and all that goes with it, is one of the strongest lies our enemy would have us believe. And the saddest part of all—way too many of us fall for it—every time.

Sisters, I’m talking to you from years of experience and lots of work—insecurity is a state of mind, that none of us has to have or live with!

Manipulation is a practiced sin that we need to chuck right along with the rest of them. And if you truly desire to be free and live a different life in Christ—you have to put in the work to get there. In other words, you have to read and study the Bible. It's written for our instruction and correction. It is our blueprint to joy, and a peace that surpasses all understanding. And especially what salvation really is and the confidence of who we are—are all hidden in the pages for our taking.

If you have anyone in your life you see as a crafty manipulator—there are two things you should look at. One, do you see this in them because it is a reflection of your own way of doing things, or two, you personally have been set free, and see clearly to use your experience and insight in praying for their deliverance?

There are times I still run into trouble with manipulators, because I can see the setup to make me do things their way and catch the untruths they spin. And honestly, my first response is to put distance between us. But I’m glad I’ve learned to pray about it first. Yes, there are times we are to distance ourselves from others, but then there are those times we have been given the privilege to see only so we stand in prayer for them. 

We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  There is only one exception—Messiah!

I want to share a secret with you that everyone doesn't know...our security in Christ, is more than I could ever have hoped for or dreamed of!

What it has done for me is promoted me to be a cheerleader and encourager for others. I no longer compete with my sisters trying to prove something. There is nothing to prove…I now know who I am. Compassion has replaced being glad they didn’t make it. And confidence allows me to listen to others brag and pray for their deliverance versus try to up them one.

Personally, I think everyone has a know-it-all in their lives. It seems God uses them to keep us humble, and show us what we look like—allowing Him to continue His work on us. And with a closer look, the know-it-all is always one of the most insecure people you will meet—and that includes ourselves.

And when I use the term “know-it-all” I’m referring to the person who knows better than you, no matter what you say. I’m not talking about listening and learning from others (because we could definitely use more of that), but the one who brags, knows more than you and in truth and honesty—mostly knows much of nothing that's worthwhile. Yeah, that used to be me.

But today, I am a new, new, new creature in the Messiah. Yes, I’m still a work in progress and growing every day, but I’m making headway.   

I don’t feel the need to cover up my arms because I don’t fear what others might think. Sure, I’m going to start using hand weights to help the process as I continue to lose weight, because I don’t like it. But will I be trying to have arms like the woman in the photo to the right? No, not in the natural I won’t. But in the supernatural spirit realm of life—you best believe it!

I’d much rather spend time, exercising the Word of God in my life—there are far better results to be had.

Read and study your bibles sisters! It's the only way to achieve real change for the better.  

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie