What’s Your Relationship Status?

On Facebook’s relationship status, you have the option to leave it blank or put in whatever you want. But once you click that button, it lets all your friends and family know there’s been a life change.

And sometimes it’s good and other times it’s not so good.

Who wants to be bombarded with questions or whispered about when Facebook announces—you’re no longer in a relationship? Or even worst—the marriage is over. But on the other hand, it’s nice when people become engaged, married or a new parent. 

I guess like anything, a relationship status button should be used wisely.

But speaking about relationship statuses, what’s yours with yourself?

If I were to ask, “How is your relationship with your sister or brother?” You would be able to tell me right away. If you guys are close it would be all unicorns and rainbows. If you are at odds, I would hear a story of woe. Same goes for your boss, husband, neighbors, parents, children, friends and so on. We can quickly express what is going on in these relationships—but not so much with ourselves.

We have high expectations for our children and we will sacrifice as much as we can for them…even when it’s not always wise to. Relationship status: I adore my children. There is nothing I will not do for them.

Your husband is a hardworking, kind, generous, selfless man who loves the Lord. Relationship status: I love my husband and will do whatever it takes to keep him happy and lift him up.

The company you work for really sucks. Relationship status: I can’t wait to find another job and get out of here!

My relationship status with myself…

…I don’t like my hair. I wish it was thicker and not so mousy. My butt is too big and let’s not talk about the nagging belly fat I just can’t get rid of. I have never liked my ears, always thought they were too big. I’ve never thought of myself as pretty or beautiful. My arms are flabby and I don’t have nice shaped legs. It seems like one of my breast are larger than the other. My toes are really on the ugly side. My hands have always looked old, even when I was a young girl. I didn’t do well in school, so I think I’m not that smart. I’m just a stay-at-home mom.

In other words, many of us are not in a “love” relationship status with ourselves. And that is a huge problem in the Body of Christ.

Here’s the deal sisters…we have to work on having a good relationship with ourselves. It is important!

One of the best places to start is with the things we can change and accept and love that which we can’t.

Growing up I was teased about the shape of my legs. The kids used to call me, “Baseball bat legs!” My ankles are thin and from the knee down, my legs did resemble baseball bats. Did this make me feel good about myself or my legs? No! And to top it off, my sister and mother had very muscular shaped legs that looked really good in shorts, dresses and heels.

But one day a very wise woman helped me to see the value of my baseball bat shaped legs. She simply told me, “Thank God they work!” I’ve always loved them after that.

There are physical things we can change and then there are those we must embrace and see the value in them. Maybe you are getting crow’s feet and lines in your face in places that were once smooth. Use moisturizer and thank God you have hands that work to apply it and eyes to see where it goes. It’s all in our perspective!

Now, let’s take a look at that, which is most important—the inward things that hold us back.

Maybe you didn’t do well in school. It really has nothing to do with how smart you are in Christ. I really take to heart that the Bible says I now have the mind of Christ. (I Corinthians 2:13-16) How is it possible to not be smart with that kind of inside track?

There might be things in your past you are far from proud of—but that has nothing to do with who you are in Christ today. My bible says we are new creatures in Him and that the old has passed away, and we are washed clean by His precious blood. Forgive yourself and let go, just as God has forgiven and put all your sins in the sea of forgetfulness.

People put labels on people—but the Cross dispels them all!

There is but one label we wear—flawless daughters of the King!

When the bible states we are fearfully and wonderfully made—how can we just be a stay-at-home mom? Are we not great and been given the privilege and position of teaching and raising children to follow and love the Lord. Is that not a high calling? It is to me.

We must stop comparing ourselves to others and learn to be thankful for who we are.

Not all things in our outward appearance can be changed, but it is a totally different story about the inside—read your bible and you will see.

You’re short tempered. The Holy Spirit will help you with that. You feel intimidated being around other people and your conversation is limited. Read. Watch educational TV. I used to hate history in school (Probably still would if it was all about remembering dates.), but I adore history now. And above all else, I love biblical history!

But in order for us to love ourselves and see great value in who we are (flaws and all), we must first believe what God (the One who made us), has to say about us.

Our relationship status with ourselves should always be one of love. No, we are not perfect and never will be on this earth, but that doesn’t change who God says we are.

Each morning, speak a good relationship status over yourself. “I am smart!” “I am beautiful!” “I am fearless!” “I am kind!” “I am a woman of wisdom!” “I am a woman of godly counsel!” “I am forgiven!” “I am a good mother!”

I’m not encouraging anyone to be prideful; I just want us to move forward in love toward ourselves.

If your first answer to, “What’s your relationship status with yourself?” was negative or you couldn’t answer off the top of your head—change that today. After all, you have the mind of Christ and that means something!

Until next week...

Blessings and Hugs,

Ponnie