Jesus not only gave us a model of how we are to pray (Matthew
6:5-15), but He also instructs us not to concern ourselves with the things
of tomorrow because there are enough worries in each day. (Matthew
6:34) But you know what conclusion I’ve come to about this—we don’t listen!
Today is day #24 of a 30 day journaling experiment my bible
teacher has a small group of women doing. Each night we are to review our day
looking at the things we had no control over and how it affected us, and our
responses to the situations. We must also review if our behavior or attitudes
were pleasing or displeasing to God. At the end of the 30 days we will go back
over what we have written and look for progress, problems and areas we find ourselves stuck in.
Though I have yet to go back over anything, I
am seeing a pattern of something not so good. And that is “Keeping records of
wrong.”
There is one constant in life…we have no control over what
other people do or how they react! So why is it we allow some of their foolishness
to get under our skin? And why do we allow them to steal our joy is a better
question?
I made up the list in the top left corner, and chose those
particular things because they are so common and in many ways trivial. Yet we
allow them to become mountains when in truth they start out as ant hills or
small mosquito bites—annoying, but nothing major. (click on the picture to see it better)
This morning I found myself crying out to the Lord, “How do we
not keep a record of wrong?! And especially when the offender continues to
wrong you?”
I’ve had an issue for the past several months, and I thought
I had come to grips with finally moving forward. It really made sense,
because so much of it was out of my control. And truthfully I was much happier
for it. Being upset with people is a definite joy killer.
But for the past 3 days, I found myself falling backwards.
And as I began to journal the situations, I could see key words popping up, “Again,
blah, blah, blah!” “As usual, they!” The words, again, always
and as
usual or record keeping introductions. It tells that this has happened
before and often more than once. Ever start off an argument with, "You always?" Always, is a record keeper, and an inadequate one at that, because no one "always" anything.
Now of course I could have added more serious offenses on
the list, but I wanted us to take a look at the sneaky little foxes that can
cause us big problems.
Do we keep records on our own, or do we get some help from
our enemy? I think it’s both.
When we walk in unforgiveness, we make the choice to keep
the record with us daily. When we purpose to forgive and let go, our enemy is
more than happy to remind us of the past, the minute they do something again.(Just
as he taunts us with our own past mistakes and wrongs.)
Putting a period at the end of each day in forgiveness and
letting go is not so easy. And I say this because that same person can piss you
off the next morning before you get out of bed. It can be your spouse, one of
your children or someone on the other end of the phone or email. In fact, you
can be in the shower minding your own business, when, bam! That sneaky little
devil has you thinking about yesterday and what you should have said to them and
yada, yada, yada!
My mistake was I allowed myself to get to a place where the
list and record were long. And I’m learning the key to a quick victory—don’t
let it get to that place. But of course hindsight is 50/50.
If you read the list, I’m sure there is at least one person
who comes to mind. I mean, who hasn’t met a bossy sister with a takeover
spirit? Our church congregations are full of them. Oh, and selfish and
self-centered. Apart from Christ, that is everyone. I’m sure we have probably
all encountered people in our lives who have tricked us, taken from us; lied to
us and mistreated us in some way or another. It’s called—life!
When I was finally able to forgive my mother and her years
of abuse, she was long gone. She didn’t have the opportunity to do anything
else to me. And when that sneaky devil would show up to remind me of our past,
I’d tell him to take a hike in Jesus name! Guess what girls, it still works
today. The Bible tells us to resist him and he will flee. Yes, he will be back,
but each time we should make it harder and harder for him, until he has to come
at us for something new. And that is growth!
If you have someone in your life who takes up a good portion
of your thought life during the day (and not in a good or positive way), it’s
time evaluate why? Are you struggling to forgive, and it seems like every time
you turn around there is another offense or slap in the face from them?
The bad news is—you’re stuck. The good news is—you can
become unstuck!
That is the beauty and one of the many wonders of God, He is
not going to command us (forgiveness and walking in love are commands), to do
anything, He is not going to help us achieve. But be clear my dear sisters—it is work!
You’re going to have to sit down with God and go through the
rubble—daily. “Give me this day, my daily help for the desire to forgive. Give
me this day, a not so touchy spirit. Give me this day, what I need to walk in
love. Give me this day, the help I need in not bringing yesterday into today.
Give me this day, the ability to start with a clean slate on the wrongs of
others, as you have given me.”
For me, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like the
person. Close your mouths, its okay. As a Believer, we are not going to like
everyone who crosses our path (no more than everyone is going to like us.), but
we are commanded to treat people a certain way. I’ve been pretty good in that
area, but since God judges the heart—I’ve had my share of failures in front of
Him. The biggest part for me, I feel I was duped. And I let all the little
offenses pile up, until I had a mountain before me. But there has been a great
lesson here for me. For one, I should have been more diligent in the beginning,
when things started heading in the wrong direction. And when I say “Diligent,”
I am referring to the protection of my heart and mind. Yeah, I was duped, but that was out of my control and I should have trusted God with it.
I have good news! The Lord quickly answered my prayer this
morning, “You can’t do it without Me!” He said. Of course, I already knew that, but
it seems I still need that daily reminder. Amen!
Until next week...
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