Since I can remember I had always been taught about Jesus. I
wasn’t raised in a Christian home, but I went to Sunday school as a kid, a
Christian overnight summer camp for about 5 years, and church on Sundays with
my aunt and a Seventh-Adventist boarding school for 3 years. So, Jesus was a
name I was very familiar with. In the mid 80’s I was starting to feel the call
of the Lord, and I started attending a Baptist church with a co-worker and his
wife. One Sunday I decided to join.
Immediately following the service I was swarmed by a bunch
of women trying to over talk each other to ask me to join their ministry. I
really didn’t have a clue as to what they were talking about and truthfully
they scared me. This was my first encounter with the new and improved church ways
since I had denounced going to church back in 1970.
No. I didn’t join any of their ministries. In fact I didn’t
stay a member there for too long.
While growing up and going to church with my aunt, I often
found myself in the basement while service was going on setting tables for the
guest who would be eating afterwards. I hated it and promised myself that I
would never miss the service making preparations for folks to eat when I
was grown.
I had a made up mind that I would not be a Martha, but more
like Mary her sister, before I ever knew who they were. ~Smile~
Eventually I did get to use my administrative talents to
help at a church I was attending and loved. But that didn’t last long,
because the head of the ministry was a mean spirited woman and I had to cut her
loose. But like everyone else, I too wanted to fit in somewhere. I wanted to be
of service. Yet, I didn’t have a clue about true service and was just beginning
to get some of God’s Word into me. And most of the stuff people asked me to do
I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to clean the bathrooms, (I think people
should be paid to keep the congregation building clean.) I didn’t want to work
in the nursery because though I do like children, I don’t like everyone’s children.
I don’t care for fresh, rude and unruly kids and you find a lot of that in the
nursery.
After awhile I began to feel useless and feelings of being
unworthy and unloved by God began to set in. That was until; I learned in women's bible
study—that was not the case!
Have you ever been made to feel guilty if you didn’t agree
to do something in the church? This is a huge problem for women. I can’t
speak for men, because as you all know I write to women from a woman’s perspective.
One of the churches that supported me (greatly) as an inner
city missionary would have many different social gatherings and the women were
asked to bring prepared foods. I felt I had an obligation, but in my spirit I
hated doing it, so as time went on I did my best to get out of as many of them
as I could. When asked by one of the elders wives, (not my elder) why I was
even part of their congregation since I didn’t come to most of the functions the women
held, my response was, “When you have something for the women in the community,
I’ll be the first to sign up and help. We always have teas for the women in the
congregation, why not have one for the single mothers and their daughters in the
community?” She never bothered me again.
Women have been bullied into certain duties in the church congregations
for years. And I say bullied, because there is a mindset that because you are a
female then this is what you are supposed to be doing—even if deep in your
heart there is no joy. And though miserable, we are afraid to stand up and say,
“No!” Often because of what others might think but also a sense of disappointing
God.
Sisters that is not God’s MO! And besides, we cannot disappoint
God, He knows all about us.
I’ve head TV preachers tell women who are having trouble conceiving
that they should sow seed by working in the nursery! There will be no magic in
doing that. In fact the motivation is to try to manipulate God in some way.
Our first and foremost ministry is our service to God. But
even in that He has an order. Next is our family. As women, we can’t be
involved in ministry where it leads us to neglect our husbands and our homes.
If you are a mother, you cannot neglect your children either.
There is a season for everything in life. For some of us
(especially in the younger years) it is all we can do to care for our home and
family. A lot of us also work outside of the home. There is a season for
mothers and wives to mostly be home. And if this is your life, don’t allow
anyone to bully you into serving on a ministry that will take you away from
that. And often single women are expected to do even more since they are not
married and don’t have children.
Our spiritual gifts complement our ministry. And that would stand to reason, because God does not call us to do anything and not equip us with what we need to succeed.
I taught women’s bible study for 2 years in church, but
after that it was always in my home. I was given the gift of hospitality so
that it would be used with my service “aka” ministry. My home, (not the church
building) is where I have housed the homeless, feed the hungry, and cared for
the sick. But if I had allowed others to bully me into doing things in the
congregation, I would have been hindering God’s real purpose for me. You see
sisters, most of us are not meant to be workers in the buildings we call
church. We are called to be disciples.
When we allow others to dictate to us, what we should or
should not be doing it becomes a problem. Anytime we are doing something that
is supposed to be benefiting the Kingdom, yet we are tired and
miserable—something is very wrong.
Many of us are gifted and have talents that are to be used
for the congregation, but even in that we should be doing what we are called to
do and not what someone says we need to be doing.
Back to the main theme of this series…everything for us is
relational. It is through an intimate relationship with God, we find the path
that He has for us. And in our appointed destiny there is joy and peace. Not
frustration, discord and unhappiness.
This is the last of the series “The Bondages of Christendom”
and I pray it has been a blessing. I want to thank all who have written to me
to share and encourage me. I love you much!
My dear sisters, I can’t say this enough—study your Bibles. There
is “Freedom” in Christ Jesus!
Until next week...
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