Who Wants To Be An Unhappy Christian? (Part 2 of What Are the Lies You Believe?)

Raise your hand if you want to be an unhappy Christian! I didn’t think so. I’m going to assume not one hand was raised. And that is as it should be. But in truth and reality—there are way too many of us who are very unhappy—raised hands or not.

Just so we are on the same page, I’m not talking about a season of sadness or grief because of a loss in one’s life, but rather a lifestyle of unhappiness that some have adopted.

Prayerfully you had a chance to read last week’s blog, “What Are the Lies You Believe?” and it helped you pinpoint a lie or two that has been the root of grief and or sadness in your life.

Today I want to focus on the unhappy lifestyle of the Christian.

I think some of the biggest culprits for unhappiness in the life of a Believer is a lack of understanding of who God truly is—what the finished work of the Cross entails—and an unwillingness to agree with God, “aka” disobedience.  

Some of us are unhappy and miserable because we had great expectations when we got saved that God would be like the fictional character Santa Claus, and lavish us with gifts and fix all our problems. Well, it didn’t happen that way and now we are disappointed and disillusioned.

As babes in Christ we latched onto the prosperity message, and devoured the “how to” books. We gave money with high hopes of checks in the mail—the big house on the hill with a beautiful new car. We followed the 8 steps on how to get close to God, yet no matter how hard we tried to follow them; we didn’t feel closer or saw any changes that indicated God was even listening or interested. Then we saw a book that promised to give us the secrets or keys to what we have been looking for. 

Again…they haven’t produced what they promised. And now we find we are the same miserable and unhappy person we were before Christ.

Now what?

Well, for one, if you are a babe in Christ….I suggest you read only the Bible. New International Version (NIV) is a good translation to start with. And if you want something to go along with it…The Amplified Bible is a good cross reference.  Just you, the Holy Spirit and your bibles. If you have questions pray for revelation and someone to talk to who knows the Word and can help you. But we all only know in part and it is the Holy Spirits job to decipher the scriptures for us.

There are many books written by Christians (though they mean well), which are not good books. I have learned over the years, it is best that we stay away from books that have steps, secrets, keys or formulas to them. No matter how well intended, they are just not good. Why? Because there are no special keys, no secrets, or 10 steps and formulas concerning the Kingdom of God, Salvation or the finished work of the Cross. Study your bible—simple.

I’m not saying to not read books, but certain types of books we should just pass on, and others we need to have some Word in us already so we can discern what is for us and what is not.

But then there is something very important we must do with our studying—agree with what God says and then do it! James tells us, not to just be readers or hearers of the Word, but we must be doers also.

 

Yup, this is hard for some of us. We don’t want to forgive. We don’t want to respond in love to those who mistreat us. We don’t want to give up things that bring us pleasure, such as sex outside of marriage, gossip and keeping one foot in the world’s system. And we really don’t want to accept responsibility or the consequences for our poor decisions and choices in life.

The Bible says there is a joy available to us that will surpass all human understanding. Jesus tells us that His peace he gave us through the Holy Spirit and therefore we should not let out hearts be troubled. Is God a man that He can lie? No. So, then why are so many of us so unhappy?

Truth—we choose to be.

It is by choice we adopt a lifestyle of unhappiness when we are children of the King and have access to so much.

No matter how we slice it—it takes time, effort and work to build good healthy relationships. And an intimate relationship with God is no different. We must be intentional.

God can heal the broken marriage when we give the pieces to Him and do what He says to do. He can change the heart of the rebellious child, but we must become the parent He wants us to be.

And the debt you have piled up, well guess what—you just might have to do it the old fashioned way and pay it off.

We can want what we want, but only God knows if and when we should have them. Some of us can’t handle half the stuff we beg God for. And we are mistaken to think we can bypass an intimate relationship with Him. We think material things, a man or changed circumstances will make us happy—wrong!

Life on this earth is hard! And there are seasons when it seems harder than ever! But once you establish a good, loving relationship with the King, built on truth, life becomes astonishing and we tap into that peace, which surpasses all human understanding. There is a joy in us that others want, and it draws them to Christ. 

So, my question now is, “Who wants to stay an unhappy Christian?”

I want to wish everyone a most splendid holiday and the next blog will be posted on New Year’s Day, January 1, 2015!

Love, Hugs and blessings,

Ponnie

What Are the Lies You Believe? Part 1

Most of our unhappiness and emotional struggles are caused by the lies we tell ourselves…Until we identity our lies and replace them with the truth, emotional wellbeing is impossible…Lies are beliefs, attitudes, or expectations that don’t fit reality. And we don’t have to go out looking for them. They come to us. We learn our lies from a variety of sources—our parents, our friends, the culture we live in, and even the church we attend. ~Dr. Chris Thurman~

When we take the time to examine the areas we struggle in the most, we often find they're rooted in some sort of lie. It could a lie of our own making, or ones we were told. Either way, lies cause an awful lot of pain and suffering.

Jesus tells us that satan is the “Father” or “King” of all lies, so we are forewarned of his antics. He comes to steal, destroy and kill. Well, a lie can achieve all of that! Lies, have destroyed, families, friendships, marriages, split churches and caused people their jobs and good reputations. Right there you have things stolen and destroyed. And how many people have died because of a lie? More than we will probably ever know.

There was a lie I was told at a very early age, which proved to be the root of unhappiness and emotional struggles for more than two thirds of my life. I am just days from turning 62.

The lie told was, “You are nothing and you will never be nothing! I wished you had never been born!” Wow! And I believed every word of it for many years. And even now that I know the truth, at times I still must remind myself, of God’s deep love for me.

I’ve been re-reading (first read back in the late 90’s) a great book by Carol Kent. (Secret Longings of the Heart) And in it, she listed some of the lies that we as Christians have told ourselves or learned along the way.

•          I must be a perfect Christian.
•          Everyone should love me and approve of me.
•          If I am a good Christian, life should be fair.
•          It’s a sin to feel depressed.
•          If I am living in fellowship with God, I should never feel anger toward Him or other people.
•          It’s my job to meet everyone’s needs.
•          If I feel worried, I’m a bad Christian.
•          If God loved me, bad things would not happen to me.
•          God will bless me with health and happiness if I work hard for Him.
•          When there is so much real tragedy in the world, it’s wrong for me to feel grief over little things.

I also want to add:

•          God loves them more than me.
•          Yes, God can do it, but He won’t do it for me.

I would love to have the time and space to go over the list in depth (you can get the book and see what Carol has to say), but that is not possible in a blog, so I’m going to touch on things in hopes that it will provoke you to think about where, if any place, you have some lies lurking in the shadows you need to deal with.

For one, there is no such thing as “Perfect” anything. Yet, it doesn’t stop us from striving to achieve that which is impossible. We want to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, hostess, and Christian! There is no such “creature” yet we have bought into the lie that we can still hit the perfect mark if we try hard enough.

Let’s look at, “If I’m a good Christian and if I work hard enough for God, He will bless me with health and happiness.” What is a good Christian anyway? The only one called, “good” in the Bible is Christ. I think we should keep this in mind. And work really doesn’t have a lot to do with our relationship with God. We think that if we do, this, that and the other (following a formula of some sort) we will win God’s approval or recognition. Sorry, salvation and Kingdom living does not work like that. We can’t manipulate God into doing things for us.

We all have probably struggled with anger toward God, feelings of depression, trying to be a people pleaser, wanting everyone to love and acknowledge us and have lost sleep because of worry!

I’m sure most have succumbed to feelings of self-pity and thoughts that God does not love us as much as someone else. And yes, we believe that God can do anything—but question if He will do it for us?

And yes, bad things do happen—we live in a world of sin. 

Take a moment to digest what you have just read and think about how even just one of the above mentioned lies has caused you pain or struggles in your life.  A life built on a lie is as a house built on the sand—when the storm comes, it cannot stand.

Sisters, as Dr. Thurman stated, “Until we identity our lies and replace them with the truth, emotional wellbeing is impossible.” How do we identity the lies we have been trying to live off and make them truth?

By simply talking to God about our lives and studying the Bible!

It’s not complicated—at all. There are no 8 steps, 6 secrets or any formula to follow. It’s all about relationship with God.

Only through much prayer and studying God’s Word, have I come to know that God truly loves me with an everlasting love and makes no mistakes. I finally know how valuable I am because He says I am. And as Jesus promised, “The truth has made me free!”

Study to be “free” of the lies that bring pain, destruction, disappointment and heartache.

Until next week...Part 2, Who Wants to be an Unhappy Christian?

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

New Year’s Resolutions and Goals

It’s that time of year again sisters! Yup! Where we will spend time reflecting back on 2014, hoping to gain insight into what didn’t work, where we failed and how we can do something different in 2015.

Did you know the practice of making New Year’s resolutions dates back to over 3,000 years to the ancient Babylonians? Probably not. But now that you have this little tidbit of information, it might give you cause to stop and think why we so often fail each year. I mean, how many years have you vowed to lose weight or save money, yet your funds are still low and your weight is still high?

Most of us were taught the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions in our childhood. My family traditions were you cooked a pot of collard greens to insure financial prosperity. Made sure your house was thoroughly clean and all laundry done. Why? You never wanted to start the New Year off being behind in chores—especially loads of dirty clothes. You also needed a pot of black-eyed peas for good luck! On New Year’s Day we would go to my aunt’s house and eat all that good food she had cooked, and that was to make sure you started your year off hanging out with family. And after we ate, we played some of the new board games we received for Christmas.

As I look back, my family traditions were laced with superstitions and plain foolishness. But they were fun family times and my aunt Gigi was the best cook ever—well, next to Nana!

I’m sure some of you have your own fond memories of New Year’s Day and family traditions and resolutions. But now that we are in Christ, we must continuously move forward in being more like Him. And that means, letting go of old things and putting on the new.

The top resolutions made every year are, losing weight and getting fit, to quit smoking and drinking, get out of debt, save money and spend more time with family. And as Christians we add stuff like, read the Bible every day, attend church more consistently, and start tithing. Now these are all good goals to set, but they are all in relation to physical things. And therein lies the problem.

Many of us have long replaced the word resolutions with goals. Yes, we think it looks better coming from a Christian. But if what we desire to change or achieve is not Christ-centered, it doesn’t matter what you call it or how you slice it—we’ve set ourselves up for failure.

First we need to ask ourselves the why to our motivation. “Why do I want to lose weight?”

Has your doctor warned that if you don’t slim down you will have major health problems down the road? Are you buying into the hype of this world, on how you should look? Do you not like yourself and think that losing weight will change that for you? Or are you ready to get to the root of the hold that food has over you?

Are you going to try to read your Bible everyday because it’s what your Pastor keeps telling you to do? Or do you really want to know God better?

Why do you want to straighten out your finances? Is it to clean up your FICO score and save money so that you will be eligible for a mortgage on your dream house or a fancy car that screams, “Look at me!” Or is it to be able to help advance the gospel of the Kingdom of God and those in need?

Do you want to stop smoking because people have guilted you into it, because, “Christians shouldn’t smoke?” Or you realize it is not good for you and a waste of money?

Spending more time with family—is that your idea, or another guilt trip to deal with? Or do you stay away from your family because they cause you problems?

Reading our Bibles and spending time with God every day, is a must if we want to grow in our understanding of who He is, what He expects of us and how we are to live. It’s not complicated.

Smoking, being overweight and drinking in a way that is harmful to our bodies is things we should desire to change. But the reason should be because our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. And we were bought at a price and are to glorify God in our body and spirit which now belongs to Him. If we really don’t understand this, then we more than likely have the wrong motivation for change.

Bottom line—everything we do, needs to be Christ-centered if we have any hope of making lasting change.

There is nothing magical about going from December 31^st to January 1^st! None whatsoever, so why wait almost a month to do something that will glorify God?

Let us agree with our brother James and ask God for wisdom to see what we need to start doing differently.

James says that if we ask, God will give it to us and won’t be stingy about it at all! And then we can campout on the words of King Solomon for awhile, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

See, what I have learned even the more this year, is that trusting God is the key. We can trust Him with anything—but we must seek and pursue Him in order to receive all His benefits and develop this trust.

Sisters, there is no need for New Year’s Resolutions in the life of a Believer—ever! All we need is to study our Bibles and agree with God. 

P.S. But if you have a family tradition of setting around and discussing what you plan for the New Year and don’t want to come off all holy, holy…then make it something like, “To wear high(er) heels more often!” Not! LOL!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie