Growing up I had a very abusive mother. In fact many times
she was cruel and uncaring. To this day I don’t remember her telling me, “I
love you.” She married a man who sexually molested me and when I told her, she
took his side and didn’t put him out of the house. My abuse from her was
physical, mental and emotional for many years. Bottom line—I had no control
over this until I was 18 and could leave.
The affects from her abuse had devastating results for years
to come, but then one day God said, “It’s time to be healed.” No, it didn’t happen overnight—in fact it
took years and even now ever so often things pop up to try to take me back to
the shame, anger, insecurity, feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem,
but I am healed so it doesn’t work for more than a minute.
The real turning point in all of this for me was—finally
being willing to let go—so God could do something with it.
Now I’m not innocent by any means. I have two daughters by
two different men, ages 39 and 21. And I have never been married. This all
translates into me being a single mom thus far for 39 years straight.
But through it all, I have leaned to not waste my life on
remembering what I’ve done, what I haven’t done, what people have done to me,
what people didn’t do for me. Why? Because it serves no purpose for a good
life!
You see, God has forgotten our sins, bad behaviors, poor
decisions and wrong choices. It is sheer insanity to want to hold on and
remember that which God has forgiven and forgotten.
Maybe you also had kids outside of marriage and by different
men. Maybe you married the wrong man—maybe you didn’t know God then—maybe you
did. Maybe you have abused your children—maybe your poor decisions led to them
being homeless, dirty and hungry. Maybe you even lost your children to foster
care. Maybe you have spent time in jail because of poor decisions or what
someone else did to you. Maybe your drug or alcohol abuse messed up most of your
life. Maybe your affair ruined your marriage. Maybe you sold your body for drugs;
money or what you thought was love….
…..or, maybe your life was the flip side to all of the
above. Maybe you were the unwanted child out of wedlock. Maybe you’ve experienced
the heartache of having a mom or dad strung out on drugs or alcohol. Maybe you were
homeless, hungry and dirty during your childhood. Maybe your father or stepdad
sexually abused you and your sibs. Maybe your parents had affairs that divided
your family. Maybe you had a parent who beat you physically and emotionally. Maybe
you remember going to prison to visit a parent. Maybe you were raised in foster
homes with people who only saw you as a pay check. Maybe your mother was a
prostitute or even yet, she threw you into prostitution. Maybe you had a
husband who beat you. Maybe your life was so horrific that when you look back;
you know that only God could have gotten you through.
But none of it matters once you are willing to let go!
You might think you are doing okay, but if you have not come
to terms with what happened to you, or mistakes you’ve made which changed the
course of your life forever—it will follow you everywhere. There is no running
from it. In fact if you will just take a moment to think about it, it could be
the underline reason you are never really happy or find joy in life like
others. Some of us are so sad, but can’t really put our finger on why? Others
of us are mad at the world and ready to explode over the least little thing.
Last week I used Peter as an example of how we might not be
able to stand for Christ if faced with some of the things our brothers and
sisters are experiencing in other parts of the world. And today I want to take
it just a little bit further.
After Jesus’ crucifixion and the Sabbath was over three went to visit his tomb and they encountered an angel…“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” Mark 16:6-7 (NIV)
You see sisters….Jesus knew what Peter was
going to do and he knew how deeply it would affect him. He prayed for Peter
before he even committed the act, so he would make it through the shame and the
pain. And here a few days later the angel (in Luke’s account) made sure to add
Peter too! I’m thinking Peter was still feeling pretty bad about himself for
what he had done and what he had not done.
God tells us He will turn our ashes into
beauty and our mourning into joy—but we must first be willing to let go.
Sisters, it’s time to stop remembering past
wrongs, injustices and mistakes made. There is no condemnation or guilt in
Christ Jesus. And there should also be no unforgiveness in Him either.
It’s time to forgive yourself and others,
and allow God’s healing grace and mercy, set you free from the past!
No comments:
Post a Comment