Who Wants To Be An Unhappy Christian? (Part 2 of What Are the Lies You Believe?)

Raise your hand if you want to be an unhappy Christian! I didn’t think so. I’m going to assume not one hand was raised. And that is as it should be. But in truth and reality—there are way too many of us who are very unhappy—raised hands or not.

Just so we are on the same page, I’m not talking about a season of sadness or grief because of a loss in one’s life, but rather a lifestyle of unhappiness that some have adopted.

Prayerfully you had a chance to read last week’s blog, “What Are the Lies You Believe?” and it helped you pinpoint a lie or two that has been the root of grief and or sadness in your life.

Today I want to focus on the unhappy lifestyle of the Christian.

I think some of the biggest culprits for unhappiness in the life of a Believer is a lack of understanding of who God truly is—what the finished work of the Cross entails—and an unwillingness to agree with God, “aka” disobedience.  

Some of us are unhappy and miserable because we had great expectations when we got saved that God would be like the fictional character Santa Claus, and lavish us with gifts and fix all our problems. Well, it didn’t happen that way and now we are disappointed and disillusioned.

As babes in Christ we latched onto the prosperity message, and devoured the “how to” books. We gave money with high hopes of checks in the mail—the big house on the hill with a beautiful new car. We followed the 8 steps on how to get close to God, yet no matter how hard we tried to follow them; we didn’t feel closer or saw any changes that indicated God was even listening or interested. Then we saw a book that promised to give us the secrets or keys to what we have been looking for. 

Again…they haven’t produced what they promised. And now we find we are the same miserable and unhappy person we were before Christ.

Now what?

Well, for one, if you are a babe in Christ….I suggest you read only the Bible. New International Version (NIV) is a good translation to start with. And if you want something to go along with it…The Amplified Bible is a good cross reference.  Just you, the Holy Spirit and your bibles. If you have questions pray for revelation and someone to talk to who knows the Word and can help you. But we all only know in part and it is the Holy Spirits job to decipher the scriptures for us.

There are many books written by Christians (though they mean well), which are not good books. I have learned over the years, it is best that we stay away from books that have steps, secrets, keys or formulas to them. No matter how well intended, they are just not good. Why? Because there are no special keys, no secrets, or 10 steps and formulas concerning the Kingdom of God, Salvation or the finished work of the Cross. Study your bible—simple.

I’m not saying to not read books, but certain types of books we should just pass on, and others we need to have some Word in us already so we can discern what is for us and what is not.

But then there is something very important we must do with our studying—agree with what God says and then do it! James tells us, not to just be readers or hearers of the Word, but we must be doers also.

 

Yup, this is hard for some of us. We don’t want to forgive. We don’t want to respond in love to those who mistreat us. We don’t want to give up things that bring us pleasure, such as sex outside of marriage, gossip and keeping one foot in the world’s system. And we really don’t want to accept responsibility or the consequences for our poor decisions and choices in life.

The Bible says there is a joy available to us that will surpass all human understanding. Jesus tells us that His peace he gave us through the Holy Spirit and therefore we should not let out hearts be troubled. Is God a man that He can lie? No. So, then why are so many of us so unhappy?

Truth—we choose to be.

It is by choice we adopt a lifestyle of unhappiness when we are children of the King and have access to so much.

No matter how we slice it—it takes time, effort and work to build good healthy relationships. And an intimate relationship with God is no different. We must be intentional.

God can heal the broken marriage when we give the pieces to Him and do what He says to do. He can change the heart of the rebellious child, but we must become the parent He wants us to be.

And the debt you have piled up, well guess what—you just might have to do it the old fashioned way and pay it off.

We can want what we want, but only God knows if and when we should have them. Some of us can’t handle half the stuff we beg God for. And we are mistaken to think we can bypass an intimate relationship with Him. We think material things, a man or changed circumstances will make us happy—wrong!

Life on this earth is hard! And there are seasons when it seems harder than ever! But once you establish a good, loving relationship with the King, built on truth, life becomes astonishing and we tap into that peace, which surpasses all human understanding. There is a joy in us that others want, and it draws them to Christ. 

So, my question now is, “Who wants to stay an unhappy Christian?”

I want to wish everyone a most splendid holiday and the next blog will be posted on New Year’s Day, January 1, 2015!

Love, Hugs and blessings,

Ponnie

What Are the Lies You Believe? Part 1

Most of our unhappiness and emotional struggles are caused by the lies we tell ourselves…Until we identity our lies and replace them with the truth, emotional wellbeing is impossible…Lies are beliefs, attitudes, or expectations that don’t fit reality. And we don’t have to go out looking for them. They come to us. We learn our lies from a variety of sources—our parents, our friends, the culture we live in, and even the church we attend. ~Dr. Chris Thurman~

When we take the time to examine the areas we struggle in the most, we often find they're rooted in some sort of lie. It could a lie of our own making, or ones we were told. Either way, lies cause an awful lot of pain and suffering.

Jesus tells us that satan is the “Father” or “King” of all lies, so we are forewarned of his antics. He comes to steal, destroy and kill. Well, a lie can achieve all of that! Lies, have destroyed, families, friendships, marriages, split churches and caused people their jobs and good reputations. Right there you have things stolen and destroyed. And how many people have died because of a lie? More than we will probably ever know.

There was a lie I was told at a very early age, which proved to be the root of unhappiness and emotional struggles for more than two thirds of my life. I am just days from turning 62.

The lie told was, “You are nothing and you will never be nothing! I wished you had never been born!” Wow! And I believed every word of it for many years. And even now that I know the truth, at times I still must remind myself, of God’s deep love for me.

I’ve been re-reading (first read back in the late 90’s) a great book by Carol Kent. (Secret Longings of the Heart) And in it, she listed some of the lies that we as Christians have told ourselves or learned along the way.

•          I must be a perfect Christian.
•          Everyone should love me and approve of me.
•          If I am a good Christian, life should be fair.
•          It’s a sin to feel depressed.
•          If I am living in fellowship with God, I should never feel anger toward Him or other people.
•          It’s my job to meet everyone’s needs.
•          If I feel worried, I’m a bad Christian.
•          If God loved me, bad things would not happen to me.
•          God will bless me with health and happiness if I work hard for Him.
•          When there is so much real tragedy in the world, it’s wrong for me to feel grief over little things.

I also want to add:

•          God loves them more than me.
•          Yes, God can do it, but He won’t do it for me.

I would love to have the time and space to go over the list in depth (you can get the book and see what Carol has to say), but that is not possible in a blog, so I’m going to touch on things in hopes that it will provoke you to think about where, if any place, you have some lies lurking in the shadows you need to deal with.

For one, there is no such thing as “Perfect” anything. Yet, it doesn’t stop us from striving to achieve that which is impossible. We want to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, hostess, and Christian! There is no such “creature” yet we have bought into the lie that we can still hit the perfect mark if we try hard enough.

Let’s look at, “If I’m a good Christian and if I work hard enough for God, He will bless me with health and happiness.” What is a good Christian anyway? The only one called, “good” in the Bible is Christ. I think we should keep this in mind. And work really doesn’t have a lot to do with our relationship with God. We think that if we do, this, that and the other (following a formula of some sort) we will win God’s approval or recognition. Sorry, salvation and Kingdom living does not work like that. We can’t manipulate God into doing things for us.

We all have probably struggled with anger toward God, feelings of depression, trying to be a people pleaser, wanting everyone to love and acknowledge us and have lost sleep because of worry!

I’m sure most have succumbed to feelings of self-pity and thoughts that God does not love us as much as someone else. And yes, we believe that God can do anything—but question if He will do it for us?

And yes, bad things do happen—we live in a world of sin. 

Take a moment to digest what you have just read and think about how even just one of the above mentioned lies has caused you pain or struggles in your life.  A life built on a lie is as a house built on the sand—when the storm comes, it cannot stand.

Sisters, as Dr. Thurman stated, “Until we identity our lies and replace them with the truth, emotional wellbeing is impossible.” How do we identity the lies we have been trying to live off and make them truth?

By simply talking to God about our lives and studying the Bible!

It’s not complicated—at all. There are no 8 steps, 6 secrets or any formula to follow. It’s all about relationship with God.

Only through much prayer and studying God’s Word, have I come to know that God truly loves me with an everlasting love and makes no mistakes. I finally know how valuable I am because He says I am. And as Jesus promised, “The truth has made me free!”

Study to be “free” of the lies that bring pain, destruction, disappointment and heartache.

Until next week...Part 2, Who Wants to be an Unhappy Christian?

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

New Year’s Resolutions and Goals

It’s that time of year again sisters! Yup! Where we will spend time reflecting back on 2014, hoping to gain insight into what didn’t work, where we failed and how we can do something different in 2015.

Did you know the practice of making New Year’s resolutions dates back to over 3,000 years to the ancient Babylonians? Probably not. But now that you have this little tidbit of information, it might give you cause to stop and think why we so often fail each year. I mean, how many years have you vowed to lose weight or save money, yet your funds are still low and your weight is still high?

Most of us were taught the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions in our childhood. My family traditions were you cooked a pot of collard greens to insure financial prosperity. Made sure your house was thoroughly clean and all laundry done. Why? You never wanted to start the New Year off being behind in chores—especially loads of dirty clothes. You also needed a pot of black-eyed peas for good luck! On New Year’s Day we would go to my aunt’s house and eat all that good food she had cooked, and that was to make sure you started your year off hanging out with family. And after we ate, we played some of the new board games we received for Christmas.

As I look back, my family traditions were laced with superstitions and plain foolishness. But they were fun family times and my aunt Gigi was the best cook ever—well, next to Nana!

I’m sure some of you have your own fond memories of New Year’s Day and family traditions and resolutions. But now that we are in Christ, we must continuously move forward in being more like Him. And that means, letting go of old things and putting on the new.

The top resolutions made every year are, losing weight and getting fit, to quit smoking and drinking, get out of debt, save money and spend more time with family. And as Christians we add stuff like, read the Bible every day, attend church more consistently, and start tithing. Now these are all good goals to set, but they are all in relation to physical things. And therein lies the problem.

Many of us have long replaced the word resolutions with goals. Yes, we think it looks better coming from a Christian. But if what we desire to change or achieve is not Christ-centered, it doesn’t matter what you call it or how you slice it—we’ve set ourselves up for failure.

First we need to ask ourselves the why to our motivation. “Why do I want to lose weight?”

Has your doctor warned that if you don’t slim down you will have major health problems down the road? Are you buying into the hype of this world, on how you should look? Do you not like yourself and think that losing weight will change that for you? Or are you ready to get to the root of the hold that food has over you?

Are you going to try to read your Bible everyday because it’s what your Pastor keeps telling you to do? Or do you really want to know God better?

Why do you want to straighten out your finances? Is it to clean up your FICO score and save money so that you will be eligible for a mortgage on your dream house or a fancy car that screams, “Look at me!” Or is it to be able to help advance the gospel of the Kingdom of God and those in need?

Do you want to stop smoking because people have guilted you into it, because, “Christians shouldn’t smoke?” Or you realize it is not good for you and a waste of money?

Spending more time with family—is that your idea, or another guilt trip to deal with? Or do you stay away from your family because they cause you problems?

Reading our Bibles and spending time with God every day, is a must if we want to grow in our understanding of who He is, what He expects of us and how we are to live. It’s not complicated.

Smoking, being overweight and drinking in a way that is harmful to our bodies is things we should desire to change. But the reason should be because our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. And we were bought at a price and are to glorify God in our body and spirit which now belongs to Him. If we really don’t understand this, then we more than likely have the wrong motivation for change.

Bottom line—everything we do, needs to be Christ-centered if we have any hope of making lasting change.

There is nothing magical about going from December 31^st to January 1^st! None whatsoever, so why wait almost a month to do something that will glorify God?

Let us agree with our brother James and ask God for wisdom to see what we need to start doing differently.

James says that if we ask, God will give it to us and won’t be stingy about it at all! And then we can campout on the words of King Solomon for awhile, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

See, what I have learned even the more this year, is that trusting God is the key. We can trust Him with anything—but we must seek and pursue Him in order to receive all His benefits and develop this trust.

Sisters, there is no need for New Year’s Resolutions in the life of a Believer—ever! All we need is to study our Bibles and agree with God. 

P.S. But if you have a family tradition of setting around and discussing what you plan for the New Year and don’t want to come off all holy, holy…then make it something like, “To wear high(er) heels more often!” Not! LOL!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Self Control—Powered by the Holy Spirit

Self-control (n) restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, desires and actions.  

In today’s world we are addicted to sex, pornography and all kinds of sexual immorality.  We continuously invent new kinds of sin when it comes to illegal drug use and getting high. We kill each other simply because the music in someone’s car is too loud. And America is the fattest nation in the world. We have no self-control over our desires, impulses, emotions, or actions. 

Cutting or Anorexia has a common thread of giving the person a sense of control. They may not be able to control the things that are happening in their lives, but they get to decide (control) when they cut or purge themselves. What it shows us is how our enemy can pervert and twist our perception of things.

The same goes for people who over eat (I have lived this). Finding comfort in food and eating what you want, when you want it (including the entire carton of ice cream) gives you a sense of control in at least one area of your life.

Ever hear an alcoholic or drug addict say they can quite anytime they want?  Same goes for smokers? Totally in denial of the truth, which is their substances abuse controls them.

Maybe these are things you’ve never had to deal with or encountered, but what does your credit card statements reveal? Do you have self-control when it comes to spending money or using a credit card? Why are so many Christians in debt? And debt that many of us are unable to pay back? How come each year around this time we start buying on credit or negating to pay bills so our kids will enjoy a lavished Christmas Day that has nothing to do with Christ?

We allow our anger to control us in ways, which are not becoming to God. We are argumentative and like to quarrel.  We can give our husbands the cold shoulder for a week and think nothing of it—after all, he pissed me off!

Why do we love gossip so much? Why do we use manipulation of others to get our way? How come when trouble shows up, we are in the center of it? You see sisters; self-control is something we need in every aspect of our lives—especially when it comes to our thoughts, impulses and tongue.

Paul warned the Galatians that the desires of our flesh are opposed to the Holy Spirit, and the desires of the Holy Spirit are opposed to the things of the flesh.  In other words, we got a war going on! And if we sow to the flesh then we are going to remain a hot mess and out of control. But! If we sow to the Spirit, then things are going to change so we look more like Jesus!

I have struggled the past several years with my weight, and it seems that the past year I started to gain again. (Not that I was at a healthy weight to begin with.) But lately, I have changed the way I eat without planning too. Monday through Thursday, I basically eat one good mean a day. I am not suggesting this for anyone other than myself, and the reason I say this is because it is a custom design by the Holy Spirit for me.

I’ve been doing a Bible study for the past few months on the “Kingdom of God” and reading “Soul Detox…Clean Living in a Contaminated World”. (Good book by the way.) And one day I prayed, “Lord, I’m ready to let go of all things I’ve been holding on to that are not good for me! Holy Spirit, help me!” Now at the time I said this heartfelt prayer, I was thinking more on the lines of television shows, movies and things like that. But taken at face value by God the “anything” walked me through a door of self-control with food.

In the morning I have a cup of coffee, piece of fruit or fruit bar. I drink plenty of water during the morning while I’m writing and I feel very satisfied. Then I eat a good plate or bowl of food usually between the hours of 1 – 2 pm. Yesterday, I had roasted chicken, a small baked sweet potato, green bean sautéed in olive oil and fresh garlic and fried apples with dried cranberries. I don’t measure, I don’t worry about portion control—I just make a good plate of food. I take my time eating and rest a little bit when halfway through. I have a glass of red wine around 6pm and if I want something sweet I eat a yogurt or piece of fruit. I’ve been going to bed earlier, and wake up feeling much better. And I don’t feel deprived at all.

On the weekends I do eat more, but I don’t use it as an excuse to overeat or gorge myself. I still excise the fruit of self-control. I tell my body in a heartbeat, “Nope, you don’t need it and you’re not getting it!”

Now that I have invited God into an area of my life I was still holding for myself, (because I could be in control) I have a greater confidence and awareness of using self-control in other avenues of my life—especially my thought life. We win and lose battles there on a daily bases.

There is no quick or easy fix to learning to exercise the fruit of self-control other than getting into our Bibles to understand what it is, and how it works. You’re going to have to dig into who the Holy Spirit is, His reason for being here, His purpose for living with us, and what we gain by sowing into Him, versus our flesh and own desires.

It’s time to learn to control those thoughts that defeat us—our tongues, our emotions, our desires, flesh and eating. Yes, my dear sisters—it’s Bible time!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Be Grateful For the Lessons

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18) I mean who hasn’t read this Bible verse before? But I think too often we read over it. We like to skim certain scriptures, because they demand we stop and think about what is really being said. And we don’t want to do that, especially on the hard stuff.

What do you mean; give thanks to losing my job and losing my house? Why should I give thanks that I’ve just been diagnosed with cancer? Why am I expected to give thanks after four miscarriages and I want a baby? What in the heck do you mean; give thanks that my husband has run off with another woman, leaving me and our kids on food stamps? Are you serious?! How can this be God’s will for me?!

With Thanksgiving Day coming up in a little less than 2 weeks (for those of us who live in the USA) it has caused me to pause and think about what it really means to give thanks in all things.

Thanksgiving Day has always been my happiest holiday. It meant seeing family I didn’t get to see every day, and eating some of the best food I ate all year—especially stuffing. When I was growing up, turkey was special—not like today where we can buy a turkey any time of year and eat it every day if you choose. I remember my mother, her sisters, brothers and cousins sitting around after we had finished eating, and talking about old times and how far they had come and all they had to be grateful for. And now that I think back, they lived through some very hard times (especially as people of color), but they seemed grateful for how those times had shaped them and all they had accomplished over the years. No one left early to go shopping—all stores were closed back then. It was all about family, friends and reminiscing about the hard times that were now the good times. It seems they knew something; we are having a hard time grasping in today’s society.

We mummer and complain an awful lot to be children of the King. How many of you have prayed and begged God for a husband, a house or a particular job or maybe any job? He gives it too you, and when the honeymoon period is over—you wonder if it was a mistake? Marriage is hard work, the upkeep of a house takes money, and working for someone else can be demanding. Now you are complaining, murmuring and begging God to get you out!

You’ve lost your income and have become dependent on others, yet you were someone who worked all your life. There’re lessons to be learned here.

Cancer is trying to literally eat you up and take you out of here. There are lessons to be learned in the fight.

Your husband left you and the kids and times are hard. There are lessons to be learned.

Jesus never promised us a rose garden; in fact He promised there would be trials, tribulations and heartaches. But He also promised we would not be alone in them. And Paul goes on to tells us that we are more than conquerors. Which translates into—we are going to have things in our lives that we must overcome because that is the only way you conqueror something. Overcome and overtake it.

Your heart is breaking; do you thank God for the pain and broken heart? No, but I’ve learned to thank Him for being there for me and His promise of how close He is to those with a broken heart. And once through the pain and the lesson to be had—there have been times of great praise because hindsight can surely be 20/20.

As you battle Cancer, if nothing else your dependence on God increases and your faith grows stronger.

Being abandoned by your husband, teaches you to forgive (in a huge way), and realize God as your true provider and source—and find out that you are more than just a wife and mother.

Being in a situation where you don’t know where your next dollar is coming from, helps you with the pride in your life (we all struggle with pride) and reinforces your faith in God’s provisions for those things that you truly have need of.

See sisters, no matter how difficult the circumstances may be—we can always find something to be thankful for. Because after all—it is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus. Remembering He is with us no matter what!

It’s time for us to stop praying and begging God that we be released from situations and pray for strength and endurance. If you look at all the praying Paul did through his ministry there was only one instance where he prayed the hardship be taken away. And quickly agreed with God when He said, “No!” Other than that his prayers for himself and others were that they would be able to stand and endure. Even Jesus prayed the same for us. (see John 17)

We must stop complaining to God about our husbands and children and what they don’t do, and start thanking God for the things they do. Even if your marriage is not good, your job sucks, and you are not where you had hoped you would be in life—if you believe that God is finishing a good work in you, that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose—then you have much to be thankful for—especially in the hard times.

Let’s take a moment to read what perseverance in our times of trouble produces for us. Romans 5:3-5 (Click)

No more skipping over scriptures or picking out only the ones we want to read. It’s time to really delve into the Word, so that we can endure and be a light to others. No more complaining for the world to see. 

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

You’re Never Too Old, Too Busy or Too Broke!

The other day a Facebook friend posted the picture you see to your left and it really struck home as to the lies our enemy has convinced many of us to believe when it comes to being of service.

You’re too old: If at 99 a woman who has a talent of sewing can make a child’s dress everyday—then the sky really is the limit for so many of us! Maybe you can’t sew and that's okay, but everybody can do something.

Right away some of you are shaking your heads and thinking, “But Ponnie, you don’t know what my life is like?” And you are absolutely correct—I don’t know what your life is like—but I do know about life itself. Maybe you are having some health issues, that’s possible, but is there still something you can do to take your mind off your problems and sow seed into someone else’s life?

I have a friend who has been in inner-city missions for years with her husband. She had a great battle not so long ago with breast cancer—chemo—radiation—the works! But on her good days (and now she has plenty because she is in remission) she would crochet things for others.

Okay, so you don’t sew and you don’t crochet—I get it. But there is still something you can do.

As daughters of the King, I feel it is impossible to not have some type of talent or gift, to use to help or encourage others. That’s it! You can encourage others! Maybe your church congregation prints a list of those who are sick or home bound. Even if you can’t get out to visit (which would be good if you could) you can send a card or pick up the phone and call them. So often, those who are sick and unable to attend services feel isolated or forgotten.

Maybe if you have a couple of extra dollars you can help a single mom you see struggling. I have gotten a card with $5.00 in it, and it might as well have been $50.00, for the way it lifted my heavy heart! It doesn’t have to be something big, so often it’s the little things that can make a huge impact in the life of someone.

I’m too busy: If our lives are such that we are too busy to help or encourage someone else…something is very wrong! I know women who homeschool and have 10, 9 and 8 children—yet they can still find time to help others. It might be just a phone conversation of encouragement, or a ride somewhere. Maybe a casserole for someone who is ill. I don’t think I have met anyone busier than a homeschooling mom with 10 kids, yet she can see the need in others. So, what excuses are you making as to why you can’t? I think if we dig deep and really get honest, it's not always so much we can’t versus we don’t want to.

I see so many sisters in the Body who are discouraged, depressed and sad. And a great part of it has to do with our busyness in the Body. We don’t take time to encourage one another. Yes, it takes time to be a listening ear. It takes time to pray for others. It takes time and selflessness to exhort your sister. It might even mean you don’t get to do what you had planned. Planning is good, but we must still allow God to order our steps. Here’s an example of something I know people do. You are one who goes to a midweek service or Bible study. I’m talking faithful, never miss it. You get a call from a sister who you can tell by the sound of her voice, might need to talk, but you tell her you have to call her back—you gotta go!

Question, “What do you think was more important, attending Bible study (because that is what you do), or that person on the other end of the phone?” I’m not talking about foolishness and empty conversations, but the point I’m trying to make is that we can be so busy with our agendas; we are not available to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. In our busyness we can become very self-centered, versus Christ-centered. Just as the priest who walked by the wounded and beaten man on the side of the road—if he had stopped to help it would have been too much of an inconvenience.

Too broke: You might be in a situation where you have no extra money to speak of. You might not even have carfare to ride public transportation downtown and back, or the food in your cupboards is getting low and just a little too close to empty for comfort. You cannot remember the last time you were able to buy a new pair of shoes, or your underwear could be getting raggedy. You might very well be experiencing a lean season…but that still should not hold you back from being of service to others.

You can enlist the help of your friends or Christ family to purchase blank cards and stamps and also send encouraging notes. If you are one who sews or crochets, ask for yarn or material to make something for others. Hospital NICU wards need blankets and little hats for pre-term babies. They also need people to come and sit and rock the babies as volunteers. If you have a phone, call someone (not to complain about your problems), but to let them know you were thinking about them. Invite someone over who you know is lonesome to watch a movie. All you need is water and popcorn—laced with laughter and good conversation.

Sisters, my point is, we all have something that we can do or give to be of service to others. In other words, “We are not too old, too busy or too broke to serve our Lord.” Amen!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Say “Yes’ Even When You Are Afraid

“Do not be afraid.” “Do not fear.” and “Fear Not!” are found in the Bible from Exodus to Revelation. And why is that? Because God knew we would be afraid. He knew we would struggle immensely with fear.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”(Proverbs 9:10)

The fear of the Lord is not a shaking in your boots type of fear. It is not a fear that is paralyzing and stops us from moving forward.  It is a parent/child relationship. As a child you might have been afraid of doing wrong for fear of what the reaction from your parents might be (Especially if you have been forewarned as to what the consequences would be.), or have a fear of disappointing or letting them down. Our love and revelation of who God is, brings us to a place of taking Him seriously too.

You have a woman who is not happy in her marriage and the temptation arises to have an adulterous affair, yet she stops and counts the cost. She knows God’s Word, and fears the consequences that she could incur if she moves forward. And even though she is unhappy, she chooses not to sin against God, because she possesses the fear of the Lord through wisdom and an understanding of who He is. And this stops her from walking into the fire. She has saved herself from a host of troubles—divorce, shame, pregnancy, venereal disease, HIV, loss of her home, children and maybe even her job or good standing in her community. All sorts of things happen to us when we make a “death” choice, versus a “life” choice.

And then there is what I like to call “common sense fears.” such as knowing better than jogging on isolated trails in the wee hours of the morning or doing anything that puts us in harm’s way when we don’t have to be. Women are rapped, murdered, robbed and beaten all the time in dark parking lots, alleyways, city streets and isolated trails.

But there is a spirit of fear that can be very devastating, and have long reaching consequences. This type of fear is a silent killer of dreams, hope, obedience and trust in God. This is a spirit we must stand up against and not allow it to control us.

Timothy tells us, that God has not given us a spirit of fear. 

Therefore we know that the paralyzing—I’m so scared I can’t move or doing anything—what am I going to do kind of fear—is not from God.

Sisters, we cannot be so afraid of making a mistake or failure, that we don’t step out on faith and do things.

Please don’t misinterpret my statement to mean that we just do whatever the heck we want regardless of warnings we might be getting. No, that is not what I am talking about here. I’m referring to the opportunities we encounter for something new and different, but the spirit of fear will stifle us.

My youngest daughter (will graduate college in May 2015) might have a teaching opportunity were she will have to learn how to drive, purchase a car, and find an apartment in a matter of a couple of months, during this upcoming summer. The possibilities are exciting, yet if she doesn’t remain focused on who God is in her life, fear can set in and tell her she can’t do it! It’s impossible! But if this is the course that God has deemed for her, it will happen!

Some of you might want to move to another state or country, but leaving friends, family and what is familiar is scary, so you stay where you are. Maybe there is a job or different position at your place of employment, that you’ve had your eye on, but fear has convinced you that you can’t handle it, so you never apply. Maybe the Holy Spirit has been giving you ideas to do things, but fear sneaks in to discourage you and make you think, “No way!”

Life is full of maybes, uncertainties, and even mistakes, but God is still with us in all of it.

Sometimes we just have to say, “Yes!” even when we are scared. We can trust God to stop us if we are making a mistake or taking a wrong turn.

You might be in a situation such as living with a man that is not your husband and God is telling you to get out, but fear of being alone and starting over are scary—so you have stayed.

We can no longer standstill and allow being afraid dictate to us how life is going to be. No!! Jesus endured too much for us to not be the “more than conquerors” we are meant to be. And that means, conquering and giving the spirit of fear a run for its money.

So, if you think writing a book or blog is in you—get started! If you want to do something to help the lost or poor—go for it! Maybe you want to start a reading club for children, or teach them how to knit or crochet—do it! Maybe you have a desire to start a small business—what are you waiting for! Maybe you need a fresh start and want to move to another place—start packing!

Maybe fear is telling you that you are too old to be of use or do anything new. Don’t listen to it! Say, “Yes,” to the dance lessons you want to take. Say, “Yes,” to the painting club you want to join. Say, “Yes” to learning how to play that instrument you never got to play as a kid.

Sisters, learn to say, “YES!” even when you are scared, especially when it means leaving behind all that makes you comfortable.

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Sisters...We Are Facing Some Serious Times

Today I want to talk about a few things that have us upset, frightened and scared!

Many of us who live in the Western world have become very complacent in our Christianity and walk with Christ. We live in a world with numerous distractions, which over the years have invaded our private time with the Lord. We think 15 minutes in the morning using a devotional guide or watching a couple of Christian programs on TV or the internet are enough, apart from a weekly church service. 

Well, we have been deceived and a bit on the lazy side and now we are frightened by what’s coming into play.

Last week I saw something on the internet and Facebook about county officials in a particular state wanting to read over Pastors sermons before hand to see if they are using what they deem as “hate speech” against gays or homosexuality. Reactions in the Christian community ranged from outrage to “This is scary!”

On the bright side, this seems like a great opportunity to get back into having the Word deep inside of us. I have never seen anywhere in the Bible that says sermons must be written down? We are instructed to study the Word and rely on the Holy Spirit to bring it back to our remembrance, so there really shouldn’t be a problem. It might also mean, no more taped sermons, but I remember those days and people in third world and Muslim countries don’t have that luxury anyhow, yet it has not stopped them from learning what the Bible has to say. Truth is…no one can snatch the Word of God from our hearts.

I have heard some preachers and TV evangelist speak on homosexuality where it does sound more like hate speech than anything else. They are screaming and shouting—but I don’t see that so much in reference to all the other sins out there. It does seem as if we pick and choose what sins we think are greater than others. But God has deemed sin as sin—period! So, I can see where in some cases we have brought this on ourselves and why many do not want to receive Christ, because we are not proclaiming and preaching the Kingdom of God as we have been commanded.

Here’s an example for you…Preachers all over have been denouncing homosexuality (even the more since many states in the US are making same sex marriages legal), and now we have this huge scandal about a pastor who is HIV positive, knew he was and yet was sleeping around with women in the congregation. And because he refuses to step down and leave the church, they are now in a world’s court system. Are you kidding me! First off, folks knew what he was doing (they just didn’t know he was HIV positive), and their excuse was that they were praying for him. Well, the Bible tells us what should have happened and how things should have been handled, but they chose not to do it God’s way. Second, why are we depending on the world’s judicial systems to work this out? All the people have to do is get up and leave that congregation! How long would it stand with no one there? How long would they be able to pay their bills? But here is the real kicker—the world is watching this public display!  

We can’t expect the lost to want our Jesus when we are so messy in the handling of His business.

Another Facebook post revealed that leaders in a Midwestern state are trying to pass a law to arrest ministers who refuse to perform same sex marriages. Well! Get ready to go to jail—it really is that simple. Yet, some of the responses on the post were, “Scary!” Why scary? We should have seen this coming.

Our enemy is a master at distraction, and we have been so distracted by Obama as President, our government politics and same sex marriages, that we have missed a whole slew of things we should have been paying attention too.

If we spent more time praying for the President of the United States and all other leaders who have rule over us (as we are commanded to do) we would not be wasting precious time and distracted by the negative.  

We judge the homosexuality in the world; yet it is still rampant in our congregations and the lives of those who are standing in the pulpits. They are the ones we should be talking too.

The distractions of this world have slowly but consistently stolen the Word of God from us. But we have no one to blame but ourselves.  We have been so busy with things that are of no benefit, and have been remised in praying the way we should or reading, studying and meditating on the Word as we have been instructed. And most of all—we have not been watching.

God’s instructions to Joshua were, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8

Meditate, (v) to think quietly, engage in deep and serious though, and reflect.

Some may shy away from the word, “meditate” because it is used so much in new age stuff, and cults—but it is God’s word and instruction to us. We need to read our bibles and keep thinking about what it says until it is written in our hearts and we are prone to do exactly what it says, and we ‘Fear not’!

Question…“If the day were to come and all Bibles were confiscated in the Western World and burned, would you have enough of it in your heart to continue on?” Do you spend time each week discussing the Bible with other Believers? Would you be able to share with the lost what is written in the Bible if you no longer had one to read from? If you answered, “No!” to anyone of these questions then you are not prepared.

Sisters, make sure you're ready?

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Making Disciples

Do you ever wonder why there are so many babies being born out of wedlock to teens and young women in our church congregations? And there is an especially high number in the African American community. Why is this? For one, I think we are missing a crucial element in our Christianity by dragging folks to church.

The other day I was in Matthew 28, reading, “The Great Commission”… ¹⁸ And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. ¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen. Matt 28:18-20 (NKJ)

This is what we are to be doing—making disciples of people—before dragging them to church.

Disciple: In the NT it is the rendering of the GK. mathētḗs, (math-ay-tes') “learner”. The meaning applies to one who professes to have learned certain principles from another and maintains them on that other’s authority. It is applied principally to the followers of Jesus. (The New Ungers Bible Dictionary)

And guess what sisters; you don’t need any type of degree in Bible to do it either. Just be willing to take the time to share the love of Christ through deed and word.

There are many ways to disciple people (teach them), without making them a project. People projects are a big fat—No! No one wants to feel like a project.

Everyone has a family member, friend or coworker who is not a Believer—why not have a monthly potluck and game night for them? Have fun—laugh! Don’t preach—love on them.

A lot of times family and friends run and hide from us, because they are tired of being preached at and judged. Truth is…the Bible was written for those who Believe, so why is that we think bombarding someone who is not a Believer with a bunch of scripture does anything for them? Why do we think always pointing out their sin is going to make them see the light and come to Christ?

That is not what Jesus did. Study His life and see for yourselves.

When we are in relationship with someone (especially if they feel you are a safe haven) we can say most anything to them at the right time.

Suppose there is a young woman who you have befriended (her style of dress is very inappropriate) and she starts to complain to you about the type of guys she seems to always attracts…here is an opportunity to discuss with her that maybe some of the outfits she wears brings this type of attention. But have this same young woman come to Sunday service and meet up with Sister Self-Righteous, and she tells her how she should be ashamed to come to church looking like that—what is the outcome most likely going to be? You are going to have an already wounded person—more wounded and offended, that more than likely may never return.

When we disciple the lost, we create opportunities to share God and who He really is, and explain to them what the Bible says about things pertaining to their lives—not scripture slam them. We can help them have some understanding about how the Kingdom really works, so that when they do visit a church congregation they know a little something and will not be so easily offended by others, mislead or find themselves in religious bondage.

Let me give you a prime example, (please no one be offended if your congregation does this, because many do)…it’s time for the collection of tithes and offerings and at the end of the collection before a prayer of thanksgiving is said, everyone must stand and repeat a man written affirmation concerning their tithe. It basically says what they are believing God for by bringing this tithe to Him. So what this teaches babies and people who do not know any better—is to put an expectation on tithing, and when things don’t turn out the way they have been professing for months—they lose hope or faith. This is why many fall away—for lack of understanding and traditions not of God. But in relationship we help people to grasp that first tithing is between them and God, and second, there should be no expectation because we cannot manipulate God.

Special note: [I feel that some of you might be disagreeing with me right about now and want to fall back on Malachi…but I suggest you read and really understand who he was talking too, why and what was going on at the time? And note that God was quiet for 400 years after that.]

A single mother who is barely making ends meet, cannot often bring herself to give 10% of her money to a God she is not sure of, and then she is left feeling that because she does not bring a tithe God is going to exclude her. In other words, “She can’t win either way”. But in relationship, we can share our faith and God’s love for her—without judgment and condemnation. Since God judges the heart, I believe He willingly accepts her $5.00 sacrifice (No lunch meat and cheese for lunch, instead a week of PB&J.), versus the tithe and offering of the adulterer, fornicator, liar, trouble maker, the one full of unforgiveness and puffed up in pride, or the mean spirited and envious one. When we really spend time in the Word of God, we see that there are many church traditions that are not profitable and can be harmful.

Special Note: Do a quick study on what God thought of Israel’s offerings and tithes? Or go over the story of Cain and Abel. Ooops—let us not forget what Jesus says about leaving your offering to make things right if you have ought with someone or them with you! What you will find, is that all offerings and tithes we bring to God are not acceptable to Him. So, how can we have any expectations from Him when we are in a place where He doesn’t even want what we bring?

In relationships, we have the opportunity to be transparent and share the struggles we have experienced with God. Not making Him out to be the Wizard of Oz, waiting to grant our every wish, and that everything will magically turn around. We all know that is not true, yet this is the bill of goods many of us try to sell to the lost or even our own children, that they will find in church.

It’s time to stop dragging folks to church as if it were a “Magic Kingdom” and start showing them the true “Church” which lives in us. We are to preach the gospel of the “Kingdom of God” not church buildings and religious ways.

When we disciple young women and help them to realize their self-worth in Christ, and love of God—we can help them to stop looking for love in all the wrong places—even when they come to church. 

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

When Was The Last Time You Feel In Love?

There's a song by Jonathan Butler, which really says it all….

Falling in love with Jesus,

Was the best thing I ever…ever done.

Falling in love with Jesus is nothing like what we experience with another human. Which is more so a physical attraction based on a bunch of emotional feelings, fantasies and daydreams. And given time, reality often sets in and we can find that nothing of substance is really there. Hence, why so many people “fall” in and out of love so very much…it’s not really love, but more so “falling” in and out of lust or infatuation.

Before the era of text messages, emails, skype and all other types of instant connections with each other—there was the good old telephone. And before “call waiting” if someone were on the phone, you got a busy signal until the line was free. I remember those days. And I remember sitting by the phone waiting and hoping he would call. Putting life on hold, for fear I would miss that all important call. If someone called, I would quickly tell them, “I have to call you back!” and hang up as fast as I could. Yes, this was before cell phones. LOL!!

My point is that even in an infatuation state of mind; we change things around or go out of our way. Taking the chance for great disappointment when the call takes too long to come, or never comes.  Or what about when you think things are going good and you get the talk, “I think we should see other people.” or “It’s just not good for me.” And all this after he told you he loved you.

Some of us have met a guy and as soon as he acts as if he might really be interested—we have planned the wedding in our minds. Some of us were so desperate to be married, we married the wrong one and now we find ourselves stuck in a not so happy situation.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to forget those of us, who have made such a mess of things because we wanted to be married and felt God was just dragging His feet. So, now we find ourselves single moms or all beat-up emotionally. And there is still one more group—those of us who are unhappy and so sad deep down because we are not married. We feel as though God has forgotten us.

Well, get over it! Because God has not forgotten any of us, we are just too busy with our own agendas, time frames and ideas. But the cure for what ails you is—falling in love with Jesus! Problem is…we don’t want to make change or take the time to cultivate a love relationship with Him. But let a guy ask us out on a date, we will spend money (we don’t have) for a new outfit, and to get our hair and nails done. We will spend hours talking about it with girlfriends, daydreaming and planning. Sometimes it works out, but often it is nothing like what we had fantasized or dreamed it would be. But we don’t give up that easy. Short of him being a pig or someone who tried to rape you…we forge on in the relationship. We are willing to invest more time—desperation says, “Gotta make it work!”

But when it comes to time with Jesus, we are so busy and way too tired.

And the unhappily married sisters want Jesus to do something with your husband’s—but not necessarily do what He might say you have to do! And the happily married sisters put everything into their husbands, neglecting (not on purpose) a love relationship with Christ, because the man in your lives comes first!

Sisters, if you want the best that life has to offer—you have to get a daydream and fantasy together involving Christ! For starters, we must agree with God that He knows best! So, if you are single, then it is His will for you at this time. If you are in a marriage that is lacking love, kindness, concern, financial stability, interest or an emotional connection, you must agree with God and His Word, what your love walk is to be in this situation! If you feel your husband is the be-all-to-end-all, then you are deceiving yourself if Jesus isn’t more important in your life.

The second verse in the song is,

I feel protected in His arms.

In His arms never disconnected (no, no)

There’s no place I’d rather be

The more time we spend, looking at the life of Christ and getting to know Him, the more our love for Him grows and we move over to—there’s no place I’d rather be!

Think about it…how hard is it to fall in love with someone who adores you? I mean adores you to the point they were willing to hang on a Cross for you even while you were in your sin and a hot mess! How hard is it to love One like that?

Being in love with Jesus is more than we could ever dream. The identity and protection we find in Him, supersedes anything we might have thought we wanted. There is no human being who can make you truly happy or complete. Only a relationship with Christ can give you that. His love is the one true love that builds up and never tears down. He will never leave or forsake us. He is not moody or distant. He knows what is best for us, and what will bring us the most joy in life on this earth. But most of all, once we really start to fall in love with Him, our heart desires start to change. We begin to want to please God, and be what He wants us to be. It might be a wife and mother and it might not. You might be released from your unhappy marriage and then again you may not. But when in love we desire to please the one we love.

How much time are you spending with Jesus?

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

I Am Sooooo Gifted!

Before you get started today, I’d like you to take a moment to click and read I Corinthians 12 (Amp).

I love that Paul starts out by telling us that he doesn’t want us to be confused about things, and he makes sure we understand that the gifts he is talking about are given to us by the Holy Spirit. It is His call and His call alone.

There are many gifts the Holy Spirits gives to equip the Body of Christ—administration, Apostleship, discernment, evangelism, exhortation, faith, giving, healing, interruption of tongues, knowledge, leadership, mercy, miracles, Pastor/Shepherd, prophecy, serving (helps), teaching tongues and wisdom—just to name a few.  See Romans 12:6-8 & Ephesians 4:7-12

As humans we get all excited when talking about our gifts and like to show off. Well, we do! We totally forget what Paul tells us. We forget that it is by the Holy Spirits discretion we have any gifts at all, and that they are to edify God and be used to build up His Kingdom on earth. 

At this point some of you may be disagreeing with me, but look at the fact that people use the gifts of the Spirit to put titles on themselves as if their gift is better or they are more important than others. I see it all the time and even more so on Facebook. Evangelist, So and So, Prophetess, So and So and Teacher, So and So! Oh yeah—some of us think we got it going on like that.

And then there is the other group of us who make sure others know what gifts we operate in—by bragging on them, in a not so subtle way.  And worst of all, we see ourselves in competition with one another and envious of each other’s gifts. This only shows our great lack of maturity and understanding of who we are in Christ and exactly why we were given gifts.

Let’s change course for a minute and look at the “Fruits” of the Holy Spirit.

But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Galatians 5:22-23 (Amp)

Matthew tells us that a tree is known by its fruit. And we all know that a tree has to go through changes and needs care to produce fruit.

Remember when your parents basically took care of your needs and you took many things for granted, because you really didn’t have to do much for them. It was a given most of us ate every day, had clothing and electricity and television. But it was a totally different ballgame when we came of age and had to work in order to eat, have clothes, electricity and television. There was a greater appreciation for what we had, because we knew there was some type of struggle attached to being able to pay for these things.

Same goes for the “Gifts” of the Holy Spirit versus the “Fruits” of the Holy Spirit.  One is given to you without having to work for it, the other we must work on producing and developing the good fruit in our lives.

Let’s take a moment to look at the fruit of “Love”. In truth most of us don’t really desire to be a “lover” of people, because it requires too much of us.

⁴ Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. ⁵ It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

⁶ It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

⁷ Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

⁸ Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” I Corinthians 13:4-8a (Amp)

No, if the Holy Spirit wanted to give us the title of “Sister So and So, Lover of People” many of us would run and hid. Why? Because we are still struggling to love ourselves and we would have to work through our own “self-love” issues—and some of us are still hiding from that. 

Loving like God takes work. But here is the real kicker to it all…

…. ¹If I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God’s love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

² And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God’s love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody). ³ Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing. I Corinthians 13:1-3 (Amp)

See sisters, all the gifts we want to show off and parade in front of others can in the long run add up to NOTHING, if there is no love attached!

And when we walk in the love of God, we don’t need made up titles, because—love is not haughty or boastful. We don’t have a “my gifts are better than yours” type of attitude because love is not envious or in competition.

There is no getting away from it—we must put in the time and effort to work on our love walk! Because in it we will find all that we need. We will see change in our relationships with our spouses, children, bosses, coworkers, sibs, friends, neighbors, and church members. Even with ourselves. I’m not saying anyone will change other than you—but since love never fails—we can’t lose.

The love walk truly is a biggie and something we will always need to work on because it has so many layers. But if you are one who others can make feel bad about yourself and or question your gifts and relationship with God, then you have some work to do. And if you are one who thinks your gifts or status in the Kingdom is better than some of your other sisters—then you really have some work to do!

Jesus asks, “How is it we are content to seek and receive praise and honor and glory from one another, and yet do not seek the praise and honor and glory which come from Him Who alone is God?” [my paraphrase]  John 5:44 (Amp)  Now that’s something for us to really think about.

Yup! It’s Bible time!! Time to get into the Word and study, study, study!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie