Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.
If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.
And back in the 80’s Melissa Manchester had a top hit called “Don’t Cry Out Loud!” the chorus goes….Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
Learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all...
There was a time in my life I believed Melissa Manchester when she
sang “Don’t Cry Out Loud!” Why? Because I felt my sadness really didn’t matter
to anyone and as a woman in my late 20’s and early 30’s I just needed to suck
it up and move on. That’s what mature women do. It wasn’t until I started attending
Women’s Bible study I began to think—just maybe it was important to God and
someone else. And the reason it was a maybe at the beginning, was because it
seemed all the women around me were so happy and wonderfully engaged in the
Lord. Deep down, I felt I was the only one struggling in my soul. On one hand
it was a little disheartening, because again everyone else gets it except me. I
later learned the truth about many of my sisters, they weren’t getting it
either, they were just faking it.
They knew the lingo, “Greetings sister how are you?” “I’m blessed
and highly favored!” Sounds good, but often they didn’t believe the words they were
saying, because their marriage was falling apart or the sin in their lives was wreaking
havoc. Some had just secretly had a miscarriage or abortion. Others were
depressed with life in general and felt God didn’t love them as much as He did
others. They viewed their lives in a way it seemed they were always behind and
playing catch up, when everyone else got to do and go where they wanted. Bottom
line—they were afraid if they said they were not doing well, or they are
discouraged and feel no one cares, (not even God) people would judge them. You
know, “How can she sit and listen to the Word being preached each Sunday and
not have faith?” Those kinds of judgments we are so good at handing out and
pronouncing over others.
The saddest part of all of this to me is that—faking it—is more
prevalent than ever before.
We are instructed to encourage one another in the hard times as
God has encouraged us. Well, how can we be encouraged if we are painting smiles
on our faces when our hearts are breaking? We can’t and therefore we have a big
problem in the Body of Christ. Our enemy has tricked us into keeping our pain
inside (which is another way of isolating us) it gives him free reign to tear
us down emotionally and spiritually.
A couple of weeks ago, I called my mentor early one morning and
cried like a baby over the phone. I was discouraged in a way I haven’t been in
a long time. Emotionally I was beginning to feel hopeless in my life, spiritually
I felt weak and starting to doubt God and physically my body was breaking down!
I was a wreck!
I had been crying close to an hour before I called her. Instead of
feeling better (which often a good cry does) I felt worst. I couldn’t stop
crying for longer than 30 or 45 seconds. It was as if my crying triggered a
landslide of emotions that were overtaking me—I needed help!!!
She listened attentively until I finished pouring out my heart.
And knowing her she was praying the entire time I was talking, which gave her
the wisdom and godly words to help encourage me. We have known each other many
years which means she knows me pretty well. Therefore she was able to give it
to me straight without fear of me becoming angry or upset with her because she
is speaking the truth in love.
We looked at my situation according to what scripture had to say
and who God is. (If we are going to judge ourselves, our lives or actions…it is
best to use the Bible as our measuring stick) I was able to see where I had allowed fear to
push me into making a poor decision, and the ripple effect it was having on me.
And I knew I had to go back to the place before I’d stopped trusting and
waiting on the Lord. We ended our conversation with her praying for me and
women in the Body. I was able to go to work and for the first time in weeks had
a lighter spirit.
Sisters, it’s time to stop pretending we are okay when we are not.
We need to be encouraged and encouraging others. I’m not saying tell everyone
your business and use Facebook as a place to air your dirty laundry—No! But I
am saying we must be real when we are struggling, so we can find help in our
sisters. If, the joy of the Lord is
our strength, and we are joyless, what does that make us?
Do not let fear or shame keep you quiet and suffering in silence.
If you are struggling to believe God and your faith is wavering, you need the
courage, love, understanding and encouragement of others to see you through.In next week’s blog “When We Need to Make a U-Turn” I am going to continue to talk about my current situation—hoping you will be encouraged that though life may seem hopeless at times—in Christ, it never really is!
Until next week….be blessed!!
Love and Hugs
Ponnie
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