From the Inside Out

While searching for a photo of a confident plus sized woman, this one took my breath away. Because immediately, I could see she feels beautiful, not because of what she has on (a simple black dress) but there is a confidence shinning from the inside out. That was me this past Saturday!

Most of us live in a society where we are bombarded daily with images of stick thin women (who mostly starve themselves to look like that) and these images often translate that if you don’t look like this you are fat or ugly. In other words we are not worthy. The sad thing is, there are way too many of us and our daughters who are buying into this foolishness and we must begin to view ourselves as God does. We must work on loving and embracing ourselves from the inside out.

This past Saturday, I went to a job fair at a retail chain. Leading up to that, my self-esteem had been pretty low, I was battling depression and feelings of hopelessness along with being too old and fat. Key words “was battling”! Because by Saturday morning, I had the victory!!

Of course our enemy gave it one last shot. When the alarm sounded at 6am I woke up to a throbbing sinus headache. That was not good! I lay in bed and prayed and fell back asleep until 7am. I felt better, but still not 100%, so I spent another 15 minutes talking to God about how great He was and thanking him for my impending interview. By 7:15am I was good to go and got up.

I didn’t get to piddle or really enjoy my coffee as I had hoped, (halfway through it was cold) because I had to fill out the application, which by the way I had had for over 2 weeks. Yes, I had skimmed over it and thought to myself, “No problem I'll fill in the information from my résumé.” Hum, it took longer than anticipated. Note to self—don’t ever do that again! Nonetheless I was determined to not be flustered by my own doing, so I forged on.

There was an almost overwhelming confidence radiating from inside that wasn’t there the day before. I realized I was no longer concerned about my age or that the black dress slacks I was wearing were about 7 years old and my brocade blazer was even older. These were things I had struggled not to think about all day Friday. I just keep addressing each issue with what the Word of God had to say about me. And I kept my focus on what God’s favor means and the power it has. And low and behold girls, this was the confidence that was whelming up inside me.

Instead of driving my daughter’s car, I opted to walk and enjoy the beauty of the fall flowers and the changing colors of the leaves. The closer I got to the store the more confident I became. I wasn't concerned if I had to stand in line for hours; I was prepared, able, willing and ready! All in the power of being confident in who I was—a daughter of the Most High God!

I arrived five minutes after it started and got to speak with someone right away. I was hoping to snag one of the seasonal part-time jobs they were offering, but they felt I would be suited to work in the pharmacy as a pharmacy technician. The interviewer felt as though I would be a good fit helping the elderly and sick clientele. God reminded me, He is capable of doing—much more than I had hoped for.

The job is not mine yet, but I made it through the first step, came home and took an online test for them and will have my second interview prayerfully sometime next week.

Sisters (especially my more mature sisters) don’t buy into what the world says is beautiful; embrace with every ounce of your being, what God says is beautiful to Him. When our confidence is in the Lord, we cannot lose! If you are in need of paid work, don’t let the world tell you that you are too old, not attractive enough, or you are lacking because you don’t have a college degree. Don’t listen to the lies—don’t allow the latest fashion trends to dictate how you are going to feel about yourself! It doesn’t matter if you are just getting out of school, are overweight or haven’t worked in years; it is nothing God can’t handle.

How we really feel about ourselves becomes obvious on the outside no matter who you are. I know physically beautiful women who have low self-esteem, and that just goes to show it is not so much about what we look like as much as it is what we think and believe about ourselves. Once we can begin to love who we are from the inside then it will manifest itself on the outside. There will be a great aurora of confidence that people will see and feel. Yes, the confidence of others does rub off on you just as their negativity can.

You are worthy because God says you are, not because of anything you have done. We are privileged because Jesus died so we would be. We just need to work on living the royal life we are entitled to from the inside out!

1Peter 3:3-4 (NIV) "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

Favor Makes the Impossible Happen

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had to fiercely battle depression, despair, hopelessness, low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and the feelings of being useless. Is any of this true if we are a child of God? Absolutely not! But it doesn’t mean that emotionally we cannot be overtaken  by our feelings if we give into the temptation to do so. I have lived long enough and walked long enough with the Lord to know it was not an option for me to give in, so that meant I had to fight. And truthfully, it has not been an easy battle—it went on for a few days.

I grew up in a household of physical and emotional abuse. From as far back as I can remember, I was told I was “nothing” and would never amount to “anything”. I was raised to believe I was useless and one of the biggest mistakes God every made. As a young woman I made poor choices based on looking for love in all the wrong places. For many years I was a people pleaser, trying to be accepted and appreciated. But nothing I did ever worked out for any length of time. There were many years as a young girl; I would lie in my bed thinking of ways to either kill my mother or myself. As a woman, suicidal thoughts often pledged me when life seemed too hard or I experienced another devastating disappointment. But the good news is…Jesus changed all of that!

After Jesus became Lord and Master of my life, I have never, ever, had another suicidal thought in my life. I no longer had to deal with that particular aspect of depression again. Does that make me more special than anyone else? Of course not! God seems to fix certain things immediately for all of us once we enter into His Kingdom. He knows what we need individually to be set free of so we can move on and grow. I remember being asked in women’s Bible study to name something God healed me of or did for me without me asking. I remember answering, “He healed my night blindness and my bad feet!” At the time I was a babe and had yet to realize the spirit of “suicide” no longer had rule over me.

My night blindness hindered me from going to Bible Study once time changed and it was dark driving home. God healed me on the night I had to drive in sleet and ice to the hospital to say good-bye to my mother—she had passed and was going to be cremated. I prayed so hard all the way, because I could barely see in front of me. But halfway there all that changed and I could see everything! That was over 23 years ago and I am still healed. I had an operation on both my feet when I was 22 years old, but the end result was not what I had hoped for, and often I was in pain. One day my feet stopped hurting and that was the end of that! As for the spirit of suicide leaving—when I look back, I believe it happened the same moment the Holy Spirit moved in.

Now as for the many other things in my life I needed to be healed of and delivered from, it has been a work in progress and still is. It was not until my fifties I truly forgave my mother. It has taken many years for me to agree with God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my self-esteem lies in Him—and not in how I look, what I wear or what others think of me. As the old Virginia Slims cigarette commercial used to say, “You’ve come a long way baby!” So, I was more than a little surprised when it seemed the flood gates of hell opened up and, depression, despair, hopelessness, low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and the feelings of being useless showed up all together and bringing a few friends to boot!

Praying was hard, so I ran to my sisters-in-Christ because I knew I didn’t have to pretend to be strong, when I was feeling so sad. We talked, I cried and we talked some more, until I was encouraged to remember who I belong to and what that means. (See August 16th blog, “Collective Wisdom”)

At the age of 60 and looking for temporary work, is not as easy as it used to be. For one, I’m of the generation where you had an opportunity to present yourself in person. Now it is look on line. The more I tried adapting to the world’s new way of doing things, the less confident and hopeful I felt. Why was that? I had become distracted and was forgetting that all I need is—God’s Favor!!!

There is a place of business I had hoped to find seasonal work at for the past 2 weeks, (they were only hiring for managers) but Saturday they are holding walk-in interviews. I will be there bright and early looking for God’s “Favor”! Does this guarantee I will be hired? Nope, because this may not be where God wants me, (I do have other irons in the fire) but I will still go remembering who my Father is, and what He is capable of doing.

Sisters, if things are looking hopeless, just remember God’s favor can open doors and make things happen when there seems to be no way!

Proverbs 3: 3-4 (NIV) 3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

We Need an Unshakable Confidence

The weekly blogs are usually written a couple of weeks in advance, but for those of us living in the United States, which is entering its 11th day of a government shutdown, I wanted to write something current to encourage us through these parlous times. Monday a dear friend sent me an email to encourage me, which I didn’t get to read until this morning (Thursday)…what a blessing and great reminder of what we need to do.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.” (Hebrews 10:35, NIV)

Unshakable Confidence…When God places a promise in your heart; you have to come to the place where you believe it’s going to happen so strongly that nothing can talk you out of it. It may seem impossible. All the circumstances may tell you that it’s not going to happen, but deep down you have to have this confidence, this knowing, that God is still on the throne. He is bigger than any obstacle. He already has a way, and at the exact time, what He promised will come to pass. You have this unshakeable confidence. You know that God is fighting your battles, arranging things in your favor, making a way even when you don’t see a way.

Instead of being discouraged, you get up in the morning thanking God that the answer is on the way. Instead of talking about how big the problem is, you go through the day talking about how big your God is. Your mind is set in one direction: victory, favor, healing, and restoration. It may be taking a long time, but God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. You’ve seen Him do it in the past, and you know He will do it again in the future. You are fully persuaded because when you know your God, you have unshakeable confidence! by Joel & Victoria Osteen

Sisters I know some of you are going through some very trying times at the moment, and you are not alone—I also find myself in a place of having no income. I’ve been here once before, a little over 21 years ago. Is it scary? Yes, to say the least. And it has been a great struggle to stay in the present praising God for what I have and how all my needs are being met today. My heart and soul want to look at tomorrow, (as if there is anything we can do about tomorrow) through eyes of hopelessness. I live with my oldest daughter and her children. You might think, well, you’re okay—but not really. I am a burden to her, and that doesn’t make me feel good at all. And my youngest daughter is a college junior.

Looking into tomorrow or next week or the week after looks dim and frightening based on current, trials, tribulations or tests we may be experiencing. Because we find ourselves having to contend with questions such as: How will I make it? What if I lose everything? Supposed I’m not healed and my medical coverage runs out? This is why; looking ahead based on today’s circumstances is not good for us, nor does Jesus recommend it. Reason being, we do not have a clue as to what tomorrow will bring and today has enough in it to deal with. Truth is all we need is one word from God, to change everything around. That could be our government getting their act together so that people are called back to work, or those working without pay will see a check for their efforts. All veterans and those on disabilities and social security will receive their monies on time, and all unemployment benefits received as expected. The next doctor’s report says, your cancer is gone! For me and all the others looking for work, it could mean that phone call, “Your Hired!” or it could be that we must continue to wait a little longer. But the more we strive to live in “today” and not worry about tomorrow, the better off we are.

I have seen hard times before, so this is nothing new, but at 60, the world and others say, “You’re too old and useless for work.” But Jesus says, “Have faith in God!” Who do I choose to believe? Jesus!! God has made a promise to me and He has also told me something about my upcoming season in life and it looks nothing like what I see today. So, what does that mean? It means? “Instead of being discouraged, "I’m going to get up in the morning thanking God—the answer is on the way. Instead of talking about how big my problem is, I’ll go through the day talking about how big my God is. I am setting my mind in one direction: victory, favor, healing, and restoration” Amen!!

Be encouraged my dear sisters that God is near and hears your cries. You may be facing losing your house or eviction from your apartment. In a few days your utilities might be cut off or you are having a hard time feeding your family. It may seem that your healing is never coming, or your marriage is never going to be mended. You look around and see others seeming to prosper when you are going backwards and it hurts and causes you to question God’s love for you. Well, don’t give into those feelings—rebuke them with every being that you have! Do not roll up in a ball of despair, instead get up and praise God! Listen to the godly wisdom of Joel and Victoria. Read your Bibles and hold on for dear life! Amen!

Today I did a little something different with the song of the week, because I want you to get up and dance….enjoy!!!

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie

It's Up to Us

It’s easy to tell a Believers level of maturity by the way they handle things. Newborns and babies cry all the time—that is what they do. Toddlers whine and have tantrums a lot. Tweens begin to handle some responsibility. Teenagers are much more responsible then Tweens and start trying to negotiate for more responsibility even if they are not yet ready. Young adults think they are grown when it comes to doing what they want, but they can easily revert back to leaning on mommy or daddy when they have bitten off more than they can chew. And adults “aka” grown folks, handle their business, because that is what grownups do. It seems to be the same in the spiritual realm for Believers. Only difference is…some stay babies way too long.

I often hear, “See, Sister Ponnie, you don’t understand. You’ve been a Christian for a long time.” Let me stop you right there….yes, I’ve been a Christian for a minute, but I was a devil for a longer minute! I’m not where I am today spiritual by Osmosis—It has taken, faith, work, determination, faith, hope, studying, persistence, faith, forgiveness, love, hope, trials and tribulations, faith, consequences, obedience, tears, fear, uncertainty, discouragement, hope, chastisement and more faith and hope! If you noticed, “faith” and “hope” are key for me.

To grow in the things of God (His Kingdom and MO) takes time and work. We do not get saved one day and wake up to be spiritual giants the next. No, it is up to us to decide, what our spiritual walk it going to look like. We make the choice to continue drinking milk forever as a newborn or strive to be able eat meat. It is by choice we develop spiritual muscle to stand during the battles.

It was several years after accepting the Messiah as my savior before I got serious about having a real relationship with Him. It took time for me to understand what it really means for Him to be Lord of my life. In fact—I am still learning every day. I know what it is to be a baby, a toddler and then an adult in the Kingdom. I was blessed to have a great mentor and teacher of God’s Word in my life to help me. I was part of a church where the pastor taught the Bible, not by his own understanding but by that of the Holy Spirit. It helped me to become hungry for the things of God and the only way to get them was to study and start applying what I learned to my everyday life situations.

You may not have the mentor or pastor I did, but that shouldn’t stop you. After church on Sunday evenings, I would watch Charles Stanley on TV. I love him to this day because his teaching is very practical and down to earth so anyone can understand. After a year or so, I started watching Believer’s Voice of Victory, (Kenneth and Gloria Copeland). Being part of their ministry has helped me to build up my faith. I moved on to reading several of Joyce Myers books which helped me immensely on my journey of forgiveness. And there are many more I have learned from. But I always judge what they say by what the Bible says. And how do I do that? I read and study the Bible for myself, and that way I can divide the truth with the instruction of the Holy Spirit.

Sisters, we all have to work out how our walk with Christ is going to be, but if you are living a life that causes you to complain all the time or there is very little joy in your life, it’s time for a change. In fact none of us should feel so complete that we do not strive continually to look more like Christ to others every day.

There’s no formula, or 10 steps you need to follow…just dig your heals in and make the decision you want better. If you are someone who does not read your Bible on a daily bases, then start doing it 15 minutes a day until you are disciplined and begin to enjoy spending time in the Word. If you know what the Bible says but are afraid to believe or stand on it with confidence—start meditating daily until you believe with all your heart and something changes in your life.

You can easily improve your prayer life, by praying more during the day. Your boss hands you an assignment, immediately ask God for wisdom. Someone comes to mind while you are washing dishes…pray for them. Prayer is not just something we do in the morning or at night before we go to bed…it is an all day affair. The more we see God in a personal light the more we can believe Him. The more we understand what Christ did for us on the Cross, the more we should want to serve Him. And the more we follow the lead of the Holy Spirit, the more successful we will be.

Hebrews 5:12-14 12 For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. 13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. 14 But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

Question of the day…Where are you in your spiritual growth and where do you want it to be?

Until next week….be blessed!!

Love & Hugs
Ponnie