Some Days I Just Want to Scream!

Yesterday I was watching an episode of “Restaurant Impossible”. It’s a TV show on Food Network, where Robert Ervine goes into failing restaurants and turns them around in 2 days. He’s like a drill sergeant to say the least but I love how it all comes together in the end. Well, in yesterday’s show he had one of the family members (who everyone said had a horrible attitude and was mean to the employees) throw rocks and scream about the injustices she felt she has had to endure over the years, including the sudden death of her son at 23. Then he had her run around the field proclaiming how she was going to change. That part was a little humorous, but when she was throwing the rocks at a target he had set up, it made me think of the times I wish I had a field to throw rocks and scream in.

I don’t know about any of you, but there have been times in my life when I have wanted to just scream my head off, fall to my knees and pound the ground and get it all off my chest. I really do believe that if I had been able to express my anger and frustration openly at times, life would have been much better. You might be shaking your heads by now, but how often have we had to work through emotional pain bit-by-bit, keeping on a strong face? Probably more often than we would like to admit.

As a single mom, are you really free to stand up and scream your head off when you feel overwhelmed and hopeless? Nope. What would your children think? Especially if they are young, it would frighten them. No, we can’t do that. The best we have is a good cry in the shower where no one will hear. Can you openly show your children how much pain you are in as you mourn the breakup of your marriage? Again, no! Why? Because you must be strong to help them mourn the loss of what family life used to be for them.

There are many life experiences that can make you want to scream until you are tired…death of a loved one, teenaged children, an unfaithful spouse, loss of a job or your home, a long illness, an unjust and harsh boss or just life in general. And you know what, if you do have the freedom to scream in private—then do it!! Scream and cry until you feel empty. This doesn’t mean you are not trusting God or your faith is weak. No. All it means is you are human and have the human emotions God has given us.

I have screamed in my pillow, but it was controlled and how I wished I could have just let it all out. I have wanted to scream and cry and fuss and yell and cry until there are no more tears for that moment. It was during a time when life was very hard and felt so unfair. Of course I have survived it all, but to have been able to just let it out would have been a good thing. Because I was a single mom who homeschooled, I hardly ever had time to myself where I could even have a good cry. I don’t think it is good to put on an “I’m doing wonderful face” when we are sad and hurting inside. We need to be able to at least cry when we are sad. So the shower became my safe haven, but I still had to suppress the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.

But there is a good side to wanting to scream too. There have been times I wanted to go on the roof and scream the goodness of God. Yup, it hasn’t always been about scramming the pain out. Just as I’ve been overwhelmed with grief, sadness and pain, I have also been overwhelmed by God’s wonderful love for me. And that has moved me to want to shout it to the world.

Sisters, it’s okay to scream! No, not at other people, but when it’s just you and God it’s okay. In fact, it will help you not to scream at others. It will help you work through whatever it is you are going through. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. So, when the trials and tribulations of this life seem to be getting you down, if you can find a place to scream and cry about it—don’t be afraid to do so. Then when you’ve cried it all out, be sure to talk to Jesus about it. You will feel so much better.

The song Melissa Manchester sings, “Don’t Cry Out Loud…learn how to hide your feelings” is a lie from the pit and don’t you dare buy into it! ~Smile~



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

God....What's Going On?

Ever feel like things are not quite right but you’re just not sure what it is? I think we all experience what I like to call the “Troubling of the waters” seasons or phase of life.

Recently I’ve had the blues a bit. Why? Not really sure, but it’s making me move in closer to the Lord to find out why?

Just as our homes need a good spring cleaning each year, I believe so do our hearts. Have you ever neglected a closet to the point you can’t fit another pair of shoes or piece of clothing in it? Or each time you open the door, something falls out? And finally you spend week’s cleaning it out? Well, often our hearts (left unchecked) can overflow with stuff that needs to be let go of, reevaluated, trashed, refreshed, looked at with new eyes or given away.

Often when there is an unsettling or rustling in our spirits, its God’s way of getting our attention. But, we don’t always get that. As women we like to self medicate. Shopping or overeating I feel are in a tie for first place. Second place is filling our schedules to the point we are always on the go or way too busy to sit and here from God. In fact, we often run from God when He desires to spend time with us. Why? For me, it used to be fear of hearing what He might say. He might tell me I had to let go of something or someone I wanted to hold on to. Fear that I’m really wrong in an area where I have justified being right. Fear that He might ask me to do something that would be a big sacrifice. Fear of what He might reveal to me about me. Fear He might want to have a heart to heart, where change is needed and dreams could be dashed.

Knowing that I have probably lived more days then I have left before me, I look at life very differently now days, and when I find there to be unrest or the blues for more than one day here are there, I know it’s time to seek God as to what is going on with me.

There are surface things I can pinpoint and have talked to Him about, but most often they are just the symptoms of something much deeper. With an illness you may have symptoms…high blood pressure, you experience headaches and dizziness. Vertigo is the symptom of and inner ear problem, fatigue is a symptom of many different things…high blood sugars, low blood iron levels to leukemia. My point is—physical symptoms tell you something is wrong, but not always what it is. So, we have to go to the doctor for test and evaluations. Emotional unrest, the blues or depression also tell us…something is not right. So we must dig deeper to find out what the root cause is.

Often when looking into the recesses of our heart and mind, it can be likened to cleaning out that junky overgrown closet you’ve neglected a few years. But it’s a must if we want to stay spiritually healthy.

If you’re finding that things are a little off kilter or amiss, take time to move into to God to see what the root cause of this unrest is? Seek Him, with a humble and willing heart. Humble so you can receive what He has to say, and willing, to be able to make whatever change is needed. Sometimes it’s as simple as waiting for it to pass as He makes changes we are not even aware of, but on the other hand it might be a more difficult feat and require great change. But either way, it’s all good. Because God never makes a mistake!

So my dear sisters, I hope I have encouraged you to not be afraid to seek God, no matter what the outcome or circumstances, because He will always give us His best.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!

Thou Shalt Be Happy.......

At the end of 2011, a book called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin caught my attention. Ms. Rubin spent a year making changes in her life in order to be happy. Browsing her website gave me the incentive to make changes in my life immediately. Ms. Rubin gives a set of simple guidelines for anyone to make their own happiness commandments. In writing my own commandments, I realized that the majority on my list focused on internal happiness; otherwise known as joy. On her website, there is an area for readers to share their commandments to help and inspire others. I’m choosing to share my list with the dear readers of The Kitchen Table. Some of my commandments are serious, there are biblical based ones and some are phrases I found funny. I will offer explanations for a few from my list. I hope you enjoy.

1. Stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog! – This is a funny reminder to stop stress/ emotional eating. (smile)

2. No more stress, it’s not that serious. – A year from now, I will not remember what caused stress to my mind, body and soul. Therefore, I need to let it go!

3. Buy something nice (for me) or go somewhere fun at least once a month.

4. Let go of demons, leave the past in the past.

5. Hebrews 13:1-2 – “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”

6. Be grateful. In all things give thanks. - If I learned something, even in a bad situation, be thankful.

7. Don’t be afraid to “clean house”, negative people you’ve got to let go!

8. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. It’s not selfish, it’s healthy. Your happiness should always be a priority. #self-preservation - I saw this quote on Twitter and added the hash tag “self-preservation”.

9. Get busy in your purpose, gifting, or ministry. No idle hands.

10. Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. – Surely you think I’ve gone crazy after reading this one, LOL! This is a quote a saw on Twitter and I interpret it to mean: People are going to be who they truly are. Some people’s assignment appears is seemingly to dislike, disagree, and speak negatively against you and anything you’re trying to accomplish. “Haters” are what they do. Just like potatoes well, they potato, LOL! Hence the previous phrase (smile)

11. 1Corinthians 15:33 – Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – Just a reminder to be careful who I become intimate with on a friendship or relationship level.

12. You deserve to look as nice outside are you are inside. Eat right, workout regularly, treat yourself to clothes, accessories, wear makeup and get your hair done. Most of all, remember to SMILE!

Thank you wonderful readers for reading my list; my prayer is that those who needed encouragement or a “pick me up” found it and are inspired to create their own happiness commandments.



Until next time, Jennifer!

The "Little" White Lie......

What is a white lie and where did it originate from?

White lie: A minor, polite, or harmless lie, fib.
White has the connotation of being good whereas black has the connotation of being evil. This is indeed somewhat racist but nevertheless it's the way the language evolved. A white lie can be excused because it does not cause great harm. For instance, if you don't want to see your friend one day, you tell them you aren't feeling well to avoid telling them the truth that you just don't want to see them that day. The little white lie hurts no one and sometimes avoids hurt feelings. ~Ruth Campbell~

Sounds pretty good—right! Especially the part, “The little white lie hurts no one and sometimes avoids hurt feelings.” Well, I think that “little” white lies are very harmful. Why? Because the practice of lying is a slippery slope. Solomon tells us that it is the little foxes that spoil the vine and Jesus tells us how they trip us up.

Before Jesus got a hold of me and God starting straigthening some things out in me, I was big on the “little” white lies. But I didn’t stop there; I told the big lies too and thought nothing of it. That is until the Holy Spirit shinned a light on it, and at that time I could barely stand to look at what He was showing me. Why was it necessary? God wants us to be as much like our Messiah as we can on this earth, so practiced sin is not acceptable in the Kingdom.

Over the years (since being exposed by God) I have been put on the spot many times as to where the “little” white lie would be so easy and very less complicated, but then I’m reminded of what Paul says in Ephesians 4….In speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

In the example above by Ruth Campbell, why couldn’t you just say to the person, “I can’t make it today”? That is the truth in love. And as Believers we must be very careful with our words, so I would never claim to be sick or not feeling well and that was not a true fact. ~Smile~

I’m not trying to be preachy with brimstone and fire for a lying tongue, because in some cases lying is not always so black and white. But, I do think the “little” white lie is. Now take Rahab who lied and hid the spies Joshua sent. She was rewarded for what she did. So were the midwives who the king of Egypt sent to kill the Hebrew babies that were born males. They lied and said they had gotten there too late, because they feared God, and the Bible says God was kind to them for this. And if the truth be told, I would lie and hide a brother or sister (in Christ) who was going to be shipped back to another country where they would be killed by their family or government for becoming a Christian. Look at the many people who did the same for salves in America until we were set free and also for Jews during the Holocaust. I personally know a woman who was one of the many hidden Jewish children of that time. Her parents sent her to live with a Catholic family in Belgium when she was 8 years old. Her mother, father and brother were sent to the camps and she never saw them again. She had to pretend to be Catholic and go to mass and Catholic school. She was later smuggled into the United States of American….she is now in her late 70’s.

But the “LITTLE” white lie is for our comfort and not really the benefit of someone else and as Believers we must also be careful because we don't always know who is watching us, and that's our real testimony.

Jesse DuPlantis (preacher/evangelist) tells a story of when he was a young evangelist as a guest preacher one Sunday; a woman from the congregation invited him home for lunch with her family. She laid claim to making some of the best gumbo in Louisiana. Long story short, he went home with her and it was the nastiest tasting stuff he had ever had. She looked at him and said, “Now isn’t that some good gumbo?” He was more than tempted to tell the “little” white lie, of “Yes, it is” when the Holy Spirit spoke sternly to his spirit and told him to tell the truth. After debating with the Holy Spirit for about a minute he looked at her and said, “I don’t mean any harm but this is the nastiest gumbo I’ve ever tasted.” Her husband (who by the way had not been in church) slapped his hand on the table and said, “Finally a man who says he’s a man of God who told the truth!” It seems that minister after minister had come to eat with her family over the years and kept telling the same “little’ white lie of how good that gumbo was, when in reality it wasn’t. Her husband ended up getting saved, because he had an ear to hear what Jesse had to say.

My dear sisters, as you can see, “LITTLE” white lies are harmful and you may never know how far reaching. So, if you are guilty of telling what you deem as “Little White Lies” it’s time you stopped and started speaking the truth in love.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie

See you next Monday!


Look for Jennifer's bolg on Wednesday, "Thou Shalt Be Happy"