The Action of Love.....

This time next week most of us in the USA will be preparing to celebrate our national holiday “Thanksgiving.” And like any other manmade holiday it brings with it joy and sadness. Personally, I’m not real big on manmade holidays except that they are days off from a workweek that otherwise would be “business as usual.” I don’t think many of us complain about extra time off. My problem with most manmade holidays is that they create a haven for pain, heartache and loneliness. My ministry exposes me to the side of life that is most unpleasant and I have seen year after year how people are affected when they are on the outside looking in.

When growing up, Thanksgiving Day was my favorite of all holidays and my mother hosted it every year at her house. Today we live in a society that eats turkey every day, but that was not the case 50 years ago. A big roasted turkey with homemade stuffing was special and only happened two or three times a year. Sweet potatoes were plentiful which meant my Gigi (godmother/aunt) was going to make her infamous pies and my mother her wonderful stuffing and macaroni and cheese. And if any of my family came down from New York, we were blessed with my Aunt Mickey’s fabulous homemade yeast rolls. I am getting hungry just remembering those wonderful smells and times. But as I got older, it became a burden of sorts to me. My mother was a nurse and often worked on Thanksgiving and left so much of the work on me. That was the beginning of the best of times becoming the worst of times. Yet I do realize that Thanksgiving can bring great joy to friends and family too, but today I want to look at how we can make it through on the rougher side of things.

There are two great factors that help us get through the rough or tough times in life and they are “Faith” and “Love” and not necessarily in that order. It all depends on the life circumstance that dictates which one (or even both) has to step up and be the lead. You can say with your mouth you love, but if your actions don’t back it up, your words are as empty as a cloud without water. And just as useless too. Check out I Corinthians 13:3-8 (in the Message Bible), it describes the actions of love and how it presents itself to others. Don’t have that translation, check it out at Biblegateway.com.

Family gatherings can take on a flavor of their own that are not always palatable to say the least. I have a friend who is a mortician and has done hundreds of funerals over the years. She has witnessed on more than one occasion family members having knock down drag out fights inside a church during the funeral service. How many of us have witnessed or even been a part of family arguments at birthday parties, and reunions? I have! Well, Thanksgiving gatherings are not exempt from this type of confusion and bad behavior. And right now some of us are dreading having to have dinner with some of our family, but we haven’t figured out a way to get out of it short of lying. Well, I want you to know that there is hope and help on ways to get through it.

I think just about all families have that hard to get along with person that everyone sort of secretly wishes wouldn’t show up. Or you are faced with sibs who just rub each other the wrong way. A friend of mine has 3 sisters and the oldest and the one right after her have always fought like cats and dogs. And 40 some odd years later they still do. Every time the family gets together everyone is on edge hoping they make it through the evening without the two of them ruining it for everyone else. I also know a woman who started feeding her neighbors on Thanksgiving just so her kids wouldn’t come. She just couldn’t take the bickering and fighting amongst them. The bright side of that was it turned out to be a wonderful ministry. ~Smile~ Some of you might be a little anxious about the company you will be keeping on Thanksgiving Day, especially when it comes to those who have hurt or wounded you. I’m sure there is probably one or two of you who are not going to be with family because you refuse to be in the same room with certain people. And last but not least there are some of us, who have just thrown our hands up and have decided to be done with folks…..the end! This can all change with just one decision on your part, and that is “To walk in Love.”

One thing about family gatherings, they have a tendency to shine the light on unforgiveness, grudges, and judgment, past hurts, envy and jealousy. And if the thought of being around certain people next week has you a little down or your heart fluttering, then take a deep look as to why? Two of the biggest culprits are unforgiveness and a judgmental attitude. Not always, but most often.

There just isn’t enough time to talk about the many reasons why siblings become estranged from one another so we’ll just look at a few. A real big one is money! Borrowed money that has not been paid back will cause brother and sister never to speak again. Or the user! You know the one who only calls when they need something and never gives anything in return. How about, “I don’t like how they take advantage of our parents,” or “I’m the one who does everything and they never lift a finger to help.” And we must not forget how we are very good at judging the lifestyles of others, especially if they are not living as we think they should.

I don’t want anyone to misunderstand me; I am not trivializing emotional pain or heartache. I have lived a lifetime of it myself, but Love (God’s love) covers all of it. So even if your sister is married to the man you loved and met first and you somehow blame her for stealing him away, you can forgive and let it go. You can even forgive your brother who stole from you and your parents. The list of why family members don’t want to be with other family members can be lengthy. And there are cases where we may not need to be with certain people, but even in those situations we still need a heart check to make sure forgiveness has taken place for us. And that their past actions have not put us in prison.

In Romans 12:18, we are told that as long as it is within our power we are to live in peace with others. That also lets us know that we do have the power to forgive and let go. Even when it is hard, we still have been given the power through the Holy Spirit of God, to forgive and walk in love. Does walking in love mean that you become a doormat, trashcan or fire hydrant? No!! But it does mean that you will take back letting anyone else steal your joy in life. Walking in love will enable you to stop by your grandmother’s house (knowing your father will be there with the woman he walked out on your family for) to visit the family you love on your father’s side. Walking in love is walking in freedom.

Declare today that you are a lover of people, just as your Father is! Pray to be able to forgive past hurts and let go. Begin to envision how you are going to give that certain someone a big hug that is genuine. You might also find yourself being prompted by the Holy Spirit of God to ask to be forgiven. Oh yeah, that can happen. I’ve had to apologize when it was not my fault, and I had done no wrong. And be prepared if the person does not receive it. Just accept that you were obedient and that is what matters to God. Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5 (New Am Standard Bible)

The truth is my dear sisters it’s not about “us”! But it is about “God” and His Kingdom.
If we are to impress others with who Jesus (Yeshua) is, then they have to see Him in our actions and not just in our words. Love, (God’s love) is an action word, and we must snap into action when it comes to making it right with others. You have no idea who is watching you. And though it might seem as if your actions of love are wasted, you don’t know that to be true, especially since I Corinthians 13, says that love never fails. And you never know when someone might come to you one day to tell you how they saw the true love of God in you, from your actions of love and forgiveness.

I pray that I have provoked you to do a heart check. And even if you think all is well, please do an attitude check. You may not be walking in unforgiveness, but there might be someone you need to stop preaching at and just love on. You could be the someone they’re dreading being around because of how you judge them.

If by any chance you have been feeling a little stressed about the holidays, maybe now you can change your perspective and begin to look forward to being free and having a good time. And even if you are in a country that is not celebrating a national holiday, I hope that you have found what was written today a useful tool for your next social gathering that usually has a little anxiety attached to it.

My dear sisters, life is short and tomorrow is not promised here on this earth, therefore enjoy and take care of every day that you are blessed to have. Make love (God’s love) a part of your everyday life.

Love & Hugs
Ponnie